‘No. Fucking. Way,’ Andrea says, folding her arms and looking at Joanne as if she is completely off her head. I have every sympathy for Andrea. Abseiling may be something that doesn’t faze me, but I appreciate it’s not everyone’s preferred method of descent.
‘Don’t be such a baby,’ says Joanne, as she kneels and begins to unfasten her rucksack. ‘It’s my birthday, think of it as the ultimate gift to me.’ She looks up at Zoe. ‘You’re up for it, aren’t you?’
Zoe glances uncomfortably at both myself and Andrea, before looking back at Joanne. ‘I can’t say I’m keen on the idea. Where exactly are we abseiling from? Please don’t say over the edge there.’ She points to where Joanne has been dangling her legs.
‘There’s a place further round the gorge – it’s lower, about fifteen feet.’ Joanne pulls out two large coils of rope, a harness, a safety helmet and an assortment of hooks, clips and wedges. She looks up at Andrea. ‘It’s no different to rock climbing, except we’re going in the opposite direction. You did fine at the Bradleys’ rock-climbing birthday last year.’
‘That was different,’ says Andrea. ‘It was in a sports hall with instructors. A safe environment. Crash mats. Safety ropes.’
‘And this is no different. We’ll all be wearing the proper safety equipment. Why do you think I lugged this bloody great rucksack with me? I have everything here. It’s perfectly safe. I’ll be at the top and Carys will be at the bottom.’
‘Would have been nice to know that beforehand,’ I say.
‘But then that would have ruined my surprise.’
‘Point taken.’ I look at the kit Joanne is setting out on the ground. It is amazing how she managed to fit everything in. ‘How’s this going to work?’ I ask, noting there is only one set of equipment.
‘You go down first and then we hoist the equipment up for the next person. Once they’re down, we send it up again,’ explains Joanne. ‘I couldn’t carry four helmets, harnesses, gloves and everything else, could I?’
‘Where exactly is this lower edge?’ asks Andrea, looking around.
‘We have to make our way down this path here and it takes us round to a lower level.’ Joanne stands and turns towards the gorge. ‘See over there, where it juts out? That’s where I abseiled last year with Tris, Oliver and Ruby.’
‘And what happens when we get to the bottom? Don’t tell me we have to climb back up.’ Andrea still doesn’t look convinced, but the fact she is asking questions tells me her opposition is waning. ‘And if you tell me there’s a path or steps, then I sure as hell am NOT abseiling down. I’ll be taking those steps.’
‘That’s my next surprise, but if I tell you, it will spoil it,’ says Joanne, grinning. ‘Trust me, there are no steps down and we are not climbing back up.’
Zoe gives Andrea a little nudge with her elbow. ‘It will be—’
Andrea cuts across her. ‘If you say fun, I swear I’ll scream. I can think of many words for this, none of them being fun.’
For a few seconds, I wonder if Andrea is going to refuse after all. She turns and looks over her shoulder at the way we have come and then takes a few steps closer to the edge, eyeing up the abseiling point. She purses her lips. ‘And you’re sure there are no steps?’
‘Positive,’ says Joanne.
Andrea blows out a long breath. ‘Seeing as I don’t even know my way and it’s a two-hour walk, it looks like I don’t have any choice.’
‘Excellent,’ says Joanne, a broad smile stretching across her face. She gives Andrea a hug. ‘This is why I love you so much. You always work out the odds and play the right hand.’
Andrea gives me a confused look from over Joanne’s shoulder. I shrug. I have no idea what Joanne means either, but am grateful Andrea has agreed.
Before we take up the abseiling challenge, we decide to have something to eat. Joanne has been kind enough to provide us all with a packed lunch.
‘It reminds me of being at school,’ says Zoe. ‘Sitting down with our lunch boxes.’
‘Funny, I had that feeling when I was making them up,’ says Joanne. ‘And this is the school trip.’
‘As long as we don’t have to call you Miss and ask if we can go to the toilet,’ says Andrea.
‘I wouldn’t dream of it,’ says Joanne. ‘Anyway, I’d end up excluding you. You would be the naughty disruptive child, who’d never do what the teacher told them to.’
‘Sounds about right,’ I say.
‘I call that being strong and independent,’ says Andrea, biting into her sandwich.
‘I call it being a pain in the arse,’ I respond good-naturedly.
‘Amen to that,’ says Joanne. ‘Oh, and if you do want to go to the loo, I suggest you do that now. You won’t have the chance again until we get back to the croft.’
‘Al fresco?’ says Zoe, with a groan. ‘I remember when we did that Snowdon walk and had to find somewhere to have a pee.’
‘No need to be shy,’ says Andrea. ‘All girls together and all that.’
‘Oh, I don’t think Zoe’s shy at all,’ says Joanne. She gives Zoe a playful nudge. ‘And I don’t think she’d be worried if it wasn’t just us girls. Go on, off you go.’
Zoe gives a little laugh as she gets up, clearly wondering if she should be reading between the lines. Something I’m also wondering.
About forty minutes later, having eaten our lunch and chatted without any further ambiguous comments, we make our way down the track to the lower level. From where we are standing, I look over the edge to get an idea of height. As Joanne said, we are about fifteen feet from the bottom of the gorge. We will be landing on a bed of shingle which extends along this side of the pool.
I look at the rock face behind us for three good places to secure the anchors for our abseil. There are plenty of jagged rocks and boulders to anchor from. I must admit to being a little nervous at abseiling an unknown rock face. Whenever I’ve done this sort of thing before, it’s always been on well-established descents that are safe and easy for the youngsters under my charge.
‘What’s the rock face like going down?’ I ask Joanne.
‘From what I remember, it’s a straight drop, nice and easy, even for beginners,’ Joanne responds with a much more confident tone than I feel.
She hands me a small net bag and I remove the safety harness. Placing a foot through each of the leg loops, I pull the harness up, rather like pulling on a pair of trousers, then fasten the belt tightly around my waist. Once that’s secure, I fasten the strap at the back.
‘I’ve got chocks over here,’ says Joanne, pulling out three pieces of rope, each with a metal wedge on the end, designed for sliding into gaps to act as anchors. ‘There’s a place here and another over there.’
‘What about a third?’ I ask. ‘I always like to work with three anchors.’ I inspect the rock face and after agreeing on the two places for the chocks, decide that the third anchor could be a large rock half-buried in the side of the gorge which I can loop the rope around.
It only takes a few minutes to secure the three anchor points. I attach the rope to the gate rings and check and double-check before I’m happy with everything.
‘Are you sure about this?’ says Andrea as I begin to take the slack of the rope against the weight of my body and manoeuvre myself backwards over the edge of the ledge.
‘Absolutely,’ I reply. I can feel the adrenalin pump through me. It has been a while since I’ve abseiled, but suddenly that rush of excitement, laced with a dash of trepidation, washes over me. I used to do this all the time before I had Alfie. Darren and I had spent many holidays hiking, abseiling, kayaking and generally enjoying the wilder side of the outdoors. For a moment, the memory of us on honeymoon, yomping over Exmoor, gatecrashes my thoughts. Most of our friends who married went on beach holidays and fancy destinations, but Darren and I opted for much less conventional locations. We didn’t care. We loved it. Darren loved lots of things then. Darren loved life. I force the memory from my mind. I can’t afford to go down that route; it’s too painful.
I take a deep breath, nod and smile at the others. ‘It’s like riding a bike,’ I say. ‘Now, remember: this is the worst bit, but you must trust us. I wouldn’t do this if I thought it was unsafe and I certainly wouldn’t let either of you do it. OK?’
‘If you say so,’ replies Andrea.
‘Let the rope take your weight. Lean back so your legs are straight out from the wall and bend your body so you’re an L-shape.’ I continue to give clear and concise instructions how they are to hold the rope with one hand and let it glide through the other. ‘All the time this rope is behind you, you’re not going anywhere. Gently release and you can walk down the cliff face.’ I lean back and for the benefit of Andrea and Zoe, I very slowly show them how to walk down the cliff. When I’m about halfway down I call up. ‘I’m going to jump out now, but you two, you keep walking your way down. OK?’
When I reach the bottom, I feel another rush of adrenalin. I thoroughly enjoyed that little abseil and the excitement that came with it. I take off the harness, safety helmet and gloves, hook them to the rope and call to Joanne to pull it all up. While I wait for the others to get organised, I check out the surroundings.
There is a muddy embankment closer to the rock face, the grass petering out into the mix of shingle and pebbles which lines this side of the pool. The waterfall on the other side of the gorge gracefully tumbles down the rock face, slipping into the pool with a degree of elegance and dignity. There’s a calm and tranquil feel about the water as it ripples out. Looking to my left, I can see it wend its way through the narrowing embankments and around the corner, joining the river I saw from up above. The one that Joanne said eventually runs past the croft.
As I turn round, I notice for the first time, tucked away in the far corner, two kayaks. So, this is what Joanne has planned for us. We are going to paddle downstream. To me, it sounds like a great idea, but I’m unsure whether Andrea or Zoe will be quite so pleased. Although, to be fair, neither of them made too much fuss about the abseil. A gentle paddle home could be quite relaxing after that.
A shout from above tells me they are ready. Andrea slowly comes into view as she takes teetering steps backwards over the ledge.
‘You’d better bloody catch me if I fall,’ she shouts.
Amazingly, after a little hesitation, she begins a relatively smooth descent for a beginner. The first few steps are always the worst, but once you’ve taken them and allowed yourself to trust the ropes, then it really is very easy.
Anxious to be on terra firma, Andrea rushes the last few feet of the descent and lands rather unceremoniously in a heap at my feet.
‘You did it! It wasn’t that bad after all,’ I say, heaping on the praise. I hoist Andrea to her feet and help unfasten the safety belt while she takes off her helmet.
‘Hmm. I can’t say I would do it again,’ she says. ‘Not in a hurry, anyway.’
It’s not long before Zoe is at the foot of the cliff with us. Her descent was a rather more noisy and squealy affair.
‘Oh. My. God. That was amazing,’ she says. ‘I can’t believe I did that. I feel like a proper adventurer now. Woohoo!’
I can’t help laughing at my friend’s enthusiasm. That’s what I love about Zoe, she is so eager about everything she does.
Joanne is cheering from above. ‘Way to go, Zoe!’ She leans over to look down at us and my stomach lurches. Jesus, she is close to the edge. I hurry to get the harness off Zoe and, hooking everything up, I call to Joanne to hoist it all up for the third time.
Joanne disappears and the rope begins its rather jerky journey to the top of the ledge. We wait around, looking upwards every now and then, expecting her to appear over the edge.
‘What happens to all the equipment?’ asks Zoe.
‘The chocks? I expect Joanne will come back for them another day,’ I say. ‘It’s not unusual to leave them behind for the next climber who comes along.’ I look up, expecting to see Joanne hopping down the cliff face, but there’s still no sign of her. ‘Joanne! Are you OK?’ Silence. ‘Joanne!’ I try again, only this time, properly shouting. ‘Joanne!’
Then from out of the grey sky, a white piece of paper flutters down over the ledge. It swirls and turns numerous times before landing at our feet. I pick it up and unfold the paper.
‘See you at the croft,’ I read out loud.
‘What?’ says Andrea, taking the paper from my fingers. ‘What the fuck is she on about? Joanne? Joooooaaannne!’ She looks at me and Zoe. ‘Is this some kind of fucking joke?’
‘It’s not very funny if it is,’ I reply. My gaze climbs the rock face and scans the ledge above, half-expecting Joanne to appear and announce that this is another of her pranks, like in the forest yesterday. I try calling up to her again. In fact, we all do, but there is no response whatsoever. ‘She really has gone and left us,’ I say, surprise now replaced with anger at her irresponsible behaviour. Not only has she left us to fend for ourselves, but she is also now on her own. What if she has some sort of accident on the way back to the croft? And then I remember, Joanne said she had a radio with her in case of emergencies. Well, good for her, but what about us? I mutter an expletive under my breath at Joanne’s recklessness.
‘I’ll bloody kill her when I see her,’ says Andrea. ‘What are we supposed to do now?’