Lightning lit the night sky, followed a moment later by the loud rumblings of thunder. Allyson sat on the window seat, her tears flowing as freely as the rain fell from the clouds. The storm raged on as if matching the turmoil of her emotions. She had given into her desires and had sex with Trever only to have her heart torn out again. Why had she thought things would be different? He had locked her out of his decision to join the SEALs and had ended what they had between them. Now he was doing the same thing, only in a different way. She would not stand by and let someone make the decisions that affected her life without her even having a say.

She rested her head against the pane of glass and stared off into the darkness. Someone could be watching hidden within the trees and she wouldn’t even know until it was too late. Although she didn’t want to die, she didn’t have the energy to move away from the window. She felt broken, as if Trever had torn something out of her and left her with nothing.

I guess he did…my heart.

She hadn’t been paying attention to her surroundings and hadn’t realized Trever had come into the living room, let alone that he was only steps away, until he spoke, startling her.

“It was a night like this and I found peace in the raging storm. I was listening to the rain beat against the Humvee on our way back to the helicopter rendezvous point.” Trever leaned against the far side of the window frame, his gaze on something outside and not looking at her. “Everything about it was routine. That should have been suspicious by itself, but we were all just thankful for a quiet night. Too many were injured or killed…we were ready to come home. We ran over an IED, and next thing I knew I was airborne. The Humvee was in flames, pieces were flying through the air. Then everything went dark. That’s all I remember until I woke up in the hospital bed.”

She sat there for a moment waiting for him to continue but he remained silent, forcing her to ask. “How bad were you injured? Is that what the scars are from?”

“Some.” He ran his hand through his still wet hair, sending droplets down his shirt. “I was unconscious because of the swelling around my brain. Some of the doctors believed if I woke up at all I would never regain the ability to talk, or walk, or basically take care of myself. I guess everyone was split on what my condition would be if I regained consciousness. When I came around, I was weak, though thankfully I didn’t have any lasting effects. At least that’s what I thought at the time.”

This time when he stopped, she waited him out because she knew it wasn’t over. There was more to his story and he’d get to it at his own pace. She reached up and took his hand, gently pulling him down onto the window seat next to her.

“I suffered a brain injury. There’s some stupid medical lingo for it, but it doesn’t really matter. I have migraines now. They steal my thoughts and threaten to send me into a world of darkness when my eyesight goes dim. They’ve gotten better and will continue to, but it’s why I’ve been medically discharged from the Navy. Ethan convinced Lucas that they needed me to join Safety First Security in Montana. I haven’t taken agreed to the position yet, but even they don’t know the extent of my migraines. If they did, they wouldn’t offer me the job. I’ve failed.”

“You haven’t.” She scooted closer to him, keeping his hand in hers. “You fought to stay alive. That’s not failing.”

“I’ve failed my team by being medically discharged. I fail myself because I should have been able to beat this and get back to my duty. Most importantly, I failed you.”

“How?” Her brows knitted together in confusion.

“I threw away what we had because I thought I could do more with the SEALs than as a Navy sailor and I didn’t want to put you through the stress of the job. The never knowing where I was or when I’d be back. Classified assignments one after another until you weren’t sure if you were married to a myth and then I’d pop home for a week or two before leaving again. That was no life for you. I threw it all away and then I didn’t even make it.”

“Bullshit, Trever. You did your duty, you served your country, and you made it home. You didn’t fail anyone, and you sure as hell didn’t fail me.” She rose up, swung her leg over his waist, and straddled him so they were face to face, giving him no option but to look at her. “I’m the last one you have to worry about failing because all I wanted was for you to make it home safe. You did that. I didn’t ask for anything more. I didn’t ask for you to come back to me when you did. I just wanted you alive and safe. To be here with you right now is more than I could have ever hoped for.”

“You don’t get it.” He hung his head. “This is what I’ve worked for all these years, it’s what I know how to do. If I can’t work for Safety First Security what am I supposed to do?”

“You’ll find something.” She reached up and cupped the sides of his face. “You seem okay to me. How bad are the migraines? Any other lasting effects?”

“They’re nothing to worry about.”

She dropped her hands away as he started to build his walls again, shutting her out.

“Fine.” She tried to keep the pain out of her voice but it bothered her that he was closing her out again. It shouldn’t have because he wasn’t going to stay but it did. No matter how things went, their time together was temporary.

“I’m sorry.” He took her hand and stopped her when she started to climb off him. “Deny that there’s anything wrong and it will go away. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work? It didn’t; the doctors saw right through it. I guess even a SEAL can’t hide it when the migraine steals his vision or when even the slightest bit of light seems like a firework going off in front of their eyes.”

“How often?” Allyson asked.

In the back of her mind she wondered what would happen if they found themselves in the same situation as they did back at the motel but with him having one of those migraines. Even though that was a concern, she was more worried about him in general. What if one came when he was alone on a job? Was there brain damage that was causing this?

“More than I care for. Don’t worry, Allie, I’m okay.”

“Sure, just some brain injury that now leaves you with disabling migraines. Nothing to worry about.” She shook her head. “What’s so bad about me worrying about you? We were in love; those feelings don’t just go away…”

Hell, I’m still in love with you, you big dope.

“It’s called post-concussion syndrome, and in time it will go away. In some people it lasts a few weeks or months, while in others a year or more.”

She couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t comment on the part about them being in love and she wasn’t sure what to make of that. If he wanted to forget about that period in their lives, then why did they have sex in the bathroom?

This isn’t the time to dissect this relationship or the love I still feel for him.

She stayed on topic, pushing for more information before he clammed up again. “How long since your injury?”

“Six months. Everything else is healed but my brain. I’ve only been officially medically discharged for two weeks. It’s an adjustment.” He slid his hands over her hips and gently up her sides. “Ethan knows I am having migraines. He knows I’m on medication to ease them and that it’s helping. Still I don’t know what he’s told Lucas or the others who work with Safety First Security. It’s something I had planned on discussing with them if I accepted the position.”

“You don’t even work for them?” Wasn’t that why her cousin sent him? He was busy with another assignment and Trever was free or closer. She never asked, only assumed.

“No, not yet. Ethan sent me after you. Well after a woman”

“Huh?” The more he revealed the more confused she got.

“I was told about the situation and that ‘a woman’ needed my help, but Ethan didn’t tell me it was you.” His arms tightened around her waist as if he thought she was going to slip away from him. “I think he thought I wouldn’t come if I knew it was you. In reality, I almost turned down the assignment because of the lack of information. I don’t like going into situations without at least most of the details.”

“I knew you didn’t want to be here. I was just an assignment.” She tried to pull back from him but he held tight, hugging her closer to his chest.

“Don’t. I’m not through.” He waited until she quit wiggling. “Even if Ethan hadn’t come to me with this, I’d have come to you if I had known you were in trouble.”

“Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” His thumb slipped under the hem of her tank top, teasing along the small of her back.

Her throat tightened and she didn’t trust herself enough to speak without her voice breaking, so she shook her head.

“I still love you, Allie. I never stopped. You’ve always held my heart, even if you didn’t know it.” He pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss.

When he walked out of her life, she had waited day after day, expecting him to come back or at least call and tell her it was a mistake. That he loved her and he was wrong about everything. With each day that passed without a word from him, she realized he wasn’t coming back. Now, after all the time, he was there before her saying the very words she waited so long to hear. I love you. Those three little words melted her heart yet the fear of him leaving again was still burning wild within her.

“You left. ‘I can’t offer you forever and that’s what you deserve’…you said that, not me. Why should I believe you now? Things suddenly change now that you’re not an active duty SEAL, but how long until something else comes along? Will Safety First Security be the new SEALs and force you to leave me behind again?” She let her fears take life and come out in words while her heart told her to tell him she loved him too.

His hands stilled for a moment before he nodded. “I wondered where your fighting spirit had gone. Next time though, if it could be directed at someone else I’d prefer that.”

“You deserve this and so much more. You broke my heart.” The smirk on his face had the anger within her softening a little.

“I know and I’m sorry. Apologizes can’t make amends for the pain I caused you and it doesn’t glue the heart back together, but I can. Give me a chance. I’m not worthy of you and with these migraines you might be getting more than you bargained for.” With his thumb trailing along the hem of her tank top, gently brushing along her skin, he met her gaze. “When I woke in the hospital you were all I could think about. I’ve always regretted what I did but laying in that hospital bed I realized you were the best thing in my life. You always had my heart, Allie. In my mind I did what I thought was best for you when I left. I didn’t want you to be stuck alone worrying about me. I wanted you to have the husband and kids you always dreamed about.”

“You thought about me in the hospital because you were alone and wanted someone there.” The moment his muscles tightened, and his dark eyes became darker she instantly regretted those words.

“You’re wrong. I thought about you every day I was gone. Every leave I had to stop myself from coming back to Texas and telling you how much I needed you in my life. When I woke up weeks after the accident I thought about how different my life could have been if I had stayed in Texas, married you, and took over my father’s business. Also, in that moment I knew I did the right thing by letting you go. I was unconscious for weeks. The doctors didn’t know if I’d even make it. The ones that believed I’d pull through weren’t even sure what my condition would be when I came to. Most of them thought I’d be a fucking vegetable. Tell me, what kind of life would that have been for you? Weeks of sitting by my bedside not sure if I’d wake and if I did, would I still be the man you loved? What about the children we would have had? How good is a father who’s never there? You’d have grown to resent me because of my absence.”

“You never gave me the choice. You just shut me out.”

“We thought it was best for—”

Her eyes widened and she pressed her hand to his chest, pushing him back away from her. “Wait, what? Who’s we?”

“Never mind.” He swallowed. “I meant to say I.”

“Bullshit! If you want me to trust you, then you need to tell me the truth. Otherwise you’re wasting your breath.” She pulled back from him and this time he didn’t stop her.

“Anthony.” Her brother’s name was barely a whisper as it left his lips.

“What?” She stumbled back away from him. “You talked to my brother about this?”

“He confronted me.” He stood up from the window seat and took a step closer to her. “Shit, Allie. I never meant to say that. It’s true, but he’s fucking dead now and I don’t want you to doubt why he did it. He wanted to protect you. We had friends who did the military and we heard all about how most relationships don’t work. Some made it worse than it was but the SEALs weren’t going to make it a walk in the park for us. You were young and he was looking out for you. The idea of me making you move to Virginia or California where I’d be stationed didn’t sit well with him.”

“He…he told me it was for the best. That it wouldn’t have worked out with you being gone all the time. Do you know what I did?” She chuckled remembering the look on her brother’s face as she made her move. “I kicked him in the nuts.”

“Oh hell, I leave you and he takes the punishment. Poor guy.” He closed the distance between them, backing her up until her butt was pressed against the back of the sofa. “Don’t blame him. He was only looking out for you. I’m the one who ended it. I guess in my own way I was trying to protect you too. Taking you away from everything and everyone you knew so I could be gone more times than not didn’t seem fair to you.”

“Once again, I should have been included in that decision.”

“You’re right.” He intertwined their fingers. “I was wrong. That doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you. You’ll get more than you bargained for but give me another chance. We’ve been brought together again”

“By Ethan,” she reminded him. “My sneaky cousin sent you here because he knew I still had feelings for you. Throw us together with danger surrounding us with the hope I seek comfort in your arms.”

“Sweetie, I’ll give you comfort and I’ll keep you safe. What more could you want?”

True, Ethan had thrown them back together and she would have a few things to say about his conniving ways. Still she couldn’t help but see this as a second chance. Trever was back in her life and they could see where things went. Safety First Security operations might take him away from home, but as long as he came back to her they had a chance of making it work. That was as long as he didn’t shut her out again.

“You know, Trever, you’re still as cocky as you were when you left, but I love you.”