Sophie felt the glow on her skin as she stepped into the shower, her legs aching from the unexpected volleyball marathon. Thank goodness for Marty and his friends and their inexhaustible supply of energy. It had meant she didn’t have time to think about that kiss, but now she couldn’t get it out of her head or the image of Todd’s golden body when he’d stripped off his T-shirt.
With an annoyed huff at herself, she yanked the big white super-fluffy towel from the rail and wrapped herself up in it. She wasn’t fifteen, for heaven’s sake. She glared at herself in the mirror as, with tentative fingers, she traced her lips. No, definitely not fifteen, that had been one adult kiss.
And she was a grown-up. Beyond this sort of silly … infatuation. This was just a crush. Wayward hormones distracted by extreme good looks.
She lay on the bed and picked up one of three complimentary magazines from the table. Dinner wasn’t until six-thirty. There were a few hours to kill. After flipping through the pages, she threw the magazine down in disgust. Bloody hell, why couldn’t she get her mind off Todd?
With a sigh, she snatched up her phone.
‘Hey Sophie.’ Kate’s face appeared on her phone. ‘What’s up?’
‘Nothing. I thought I’d ring you from … the Hamptons.’
‘No! How come?’
‘I got an invite for Fourth July. Look.’ Getting off the bed, she flipped the phone around and gave Kate a walkthrough of the bedroom and the huge bathroom. ‘And look at this.’ She stepped out onto the wide wooden balcony overlooking the pool. Damn, there was Todd ploughing up and down, cutting through the water with a fearsome front crawl.
‘Whoa. You lucky thing. And who’s the hot bod in the pool?’
‘Todd,’ said Sophie, hoping her voice wouldn’t give her current turmoil away.
‘That’s Todd! The Todd. And you’re staying with him in the Hamptons? You kept that quiet. What happened to Paul?’
‘Nothing happened to Paul, except that he has a girl next door in waiting and so it wasn’t convenient for me to spend the holiday with him. Todd invited me to his parents’ place because they have a big, huge party here.’
‘Back up a spot. Paul has a girl in waiting?’
‘Yeah, turns out that there’s an understanding between them.’ She did the quote marks with one hand.
‘And how do you feel about that?’
‘When he told me, at first it didn’t matter because I’ll be back in London in six months, but now I’ve had time to think about it, I feel a bit shit, to be honest. It’s like James all over again.’
‘Ouch.’
Sophie shrugged.
‘And what about the lovely Todd? He invited you to his parents’.’
Sophie looked away, back towards the pool.
‘He’s … he’s a friend.’
Kate smirked.
‘What?’ asked Sophie.
The smirk turned into a full-blown grin. ‘You like him.’
‘How old are you?’ said Sophie, which was ironic given she’d been asking herself that question a little while before.
‘Distraction-technique alert. I’m onto you.’
Sophie pursed her lips but Kate’s eyes bored into hers. Damn, half the time Facetime froze and blurred but today the signal was absolutely perfect.
‘He kissed me today.’ The words tumbled out.
‘Who? Todd?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, you don’t exactly look chuffed about it. Is he a crap kisser? Halitosis? Slobbery?’
Sophie giggled. ‘I bloody wish.’
‘Run that by me again. You want a slobberer?’
‘No,’ she paused, feeling a slight flush run up her body at the memory of that heart-stopping, time-freezing, momentous kiss. ‘He’s bloody sublime. A champion, hormone-exploding kisser. That’s the problem. He wasn’t supposed to kiss me. I don’t want him to be a good kisser.’
‘Why not? He sounds rather yum to me.’
‘And that’s another problem. He’s too yum.’
‘No one is too yum.’
Sophie looked glum. Todd was too everything. He had danger written all over him. A danger to her equilibrium in complete contrast to James and Paul, who’d both seemed safe. And look how they’d turned out.
‘When you met Ben … did you know?’ The pair of them seemed to fit so well now, although it hadn’t been plain sailing.
A warm light lit Kate’s eyes and her mouth curved, her whole face instantly serene. ‘The very first time I met him, I knew that he might be. The first time he kissed me, I knew for sure.’
Sophie closed her eyes for a second. Oh shit.
‘What was it like kissing him?’ Kate’s question made her start and she opened her eyes wide.
‘Like falling off a cliff.’ There, she’d said, good as admitted it.
‘Oh,’ breathed Kate, with a smile.
‘No, not oh!’ Sophie shook her head, feeling slightly sick inside.
‘Oh, yes.’
‘Kate, he doesn’t do relationships,’ her voice was suddenly desperate. ‘He has a whole harem on speed dial.’
‘Are you looking for a relationship?’ she demanded, her face looming large on the screen.
‘No.’
‘Well then.’ Kate leaned back again, much to Sophie’s relief. It felt a bit like being under a microscope, as if she might see too much.
‘Well then what?’
‘Soph, I can’t believe you’re being so obtuse. You’re only there for another four months. What have you got to lose? Go for it. Have some fun. Dive off the cliff. Embrace the ride. Live a little.’
‘Kate … one more cliché and I’ll drop you over the balcony.’ Sophie waved the phone about in threat.
‘Diversion again. Being serious and cliché free, James hurt you and getting over that is going to take some time. Perhaps having a rip-roaring fling will do you some good, especially if you know it’s not going to come to anything. Why not? And if Todd’s as gorgeous as he sounds—’
‘Oh he is, believe me,’ said Sophie, watching the sleek form slicing through the water down below.
‘Then … enjoy.’
Todd did a racing turn and streaked back down the length of the pool. She could see the muscles in his back and shoulders working, driving him through the water, and her mouth dried as she remembered the moment he stripped off his T-shirt. There was no denying she found him attractive and that kiss had been something else.
‘Sophie?’
‘Mmm.’
‘You still there?’
‘I’m still here.’ She sighed and bit her lip. ‘You know what? I’m seriously considering your advice.’
‘You know it makes sense.’
‘Don’t be smug now, missy. I said considering.’
‘Who, me?’
‘And how’s Ben?’
‘He’s fine,’ drawled a voice and Ben’s face appeared next to Kate’s. ‘And appalled at you two objectifying this poor man.’
An imperious rap at the door startled Sophie.
‘Oh, there’s someone knocking. I’d better go.’ With a hasty goodbye, she put down the phone and opened the door to find Mahalia with a bundle of towels.
‘Brought fresh supplies. You want your beach swimming things laundered?’ Even as she spoke Mahalia had darted out onto the balcony where Sophie’s wet bikini was draped over a chair.
As she snatched it up, Mahalia glanced towards the pool and Todd’s relentless pace. ‘That boy. He’s got some demons chasing him.’ She shook her head, her dark eyes clouded as she gave Sophie a steady assessment. ‘Something’s bothering him. He’s a troubled soul. Needs some kindness in his life. A loving heart.’
Turning away from that direct gaze, Sophie closed her eyes, barely hearing the diminutive housekeeper leave.
With a quick flourish, watching the silk fabric flutter with movement, Sophie pulled out her new dress from the wardrobe, holding it up in front of her, suddenly wanting to look more than her best. Teamed with a little cardigan and the new low-heeled sandals, it looked feminine rather than sexy. She put her hair up, leaving a few tendrils down, and gave her lips one last slick of pale lipstick and texted him to say she was ready. He’d said he’d knock for her before dinner.
A brief rap at the door seconds later announced his arrival, and her pulse lifted in uncontrolled anticipation. There was a definite disconnect between her brain and her body at the moment. From the neck downwards, everything seemed to have gone haywire. She swallowed, took in a calming breath and opened it. To her surprise, Todd was dressed in a scruffy T-shirt and shorts that looked as if they’d been worn to service a dozen cars.
‘Oh,’ she looked down, smoothing the fabric of her dress.
‘You’re fine,’ said Todd with a grimace. ‘I … You look lovely. I …’ His face contorted. Sophie was intrigued by the conflict she could see there. ‘My parents dress for dinner.’
‘Aha.’
His eyes slid away in an un-Todd-like manner. Normally he was open, gregarious and easy to read. She frowned and was about to ask him if he was OK but he straightened up and crooked his arm with as much debonair charm as if he were dressed in a dinner suit. ‘Shall we go?’ Todd the playboy was back, eyes twinkling, smile broad. ‘Would you like a drink on the terrace? The view out over the sea is rather nice and there’ll be a bottle of fizz chilling.’
‘Why not?’ Sophie took his arm, squashing the brief feeling of misgiving. ‘Just promise me it’s not been messed with.’
‘Don’t say a word about black champagne.’ He shuddered with great show. ‘My mother would love that idea. She loves a theme. I can imagine it. Batcave by McLennan. It doesn’t bear thinking about it. Only Mahalia keeps her in check and keeps her taste this side of understated tacky.’
Sophie laughed at his mock theatrics as they descended, because with a staircase like that you couldn’t really do anything but descend down to the ground floor. At the bottom, Todd steered her down the hallway and they were about to turn left past a door that was ajar when he stopped dead. A sort of halt-in-the-shoes standard comedy freeze, except he didn’t look as if this was funny. From inside voices hissing with venom spoke in low, vicious tones.
‘You don’t have to flaunt your floozies in front of me. Have some respect.’
‘Respect … that’s rich. You earn respect. And she’s my secretary, so make sure you’re damn polite to her.’
A bland mask slipped down over Todd’s face, like an eraser rubbing away the sunshine and light Sophie was so used to seeing. She was disconcerted by the lack of expression on his face. It was as if someone had snuffed him out.
‘Secretary, my ass.’ Fury simmered in the words. ‘Like the last three secretaries you’ve had.’
‘Jesus, Celine, you’re a paranoid neurotic. And if we’re talking numbers, I’ve lost count of your tennis coaches.’
‘They are tennis coaches,’ came the hot denial.
‘Like my secretaries are secretaries, for crying out loud, woman.’
This was followed by a derisory snort in response.
‘Doesn’t seem to have done much for your game. Hope you’ve entered us for the mixed doubles at the Allenbrooks’.’
And then Todd’s mother replied with icy disdain, ‘Of course, I always do. Although if I’m so bad at it, why would you want to play with me?’
‘Because you’re my wife.’ The angry, raspy voice must belong to Todd’s father. ‘And that’s what we do. Can you imagine if the McLennans didn’t show up?’ The voice lowered with a hint of incipient menace. ‘I expect you to behave in a fitting manner. The Allenbrooks are big sponsors at the golf club, not to mention Jeff Allenbrook is now the CEO at the bank. And Jeanie Allenbrook seems to like you.’ This was added with decidedly unkind incredulity.
‘Why, thanks. I’m so glad I’m useful for something,’ Celine spat. ‘You have no idea, have you? No concept of how much work goes into running this house? The apartment in Manhattan? The ski-lodge in Aspen? You think everything magically appears on the table? The menus choose themselves? The designers throw up the decorations without a brief?’ The pitch of her voice rose with each sentence with the power of a soprano. ‘You think it’s easy entertaining your important guests, business contacts? You seem to think I sit here twiddling my thumbs.’
‘You’re being emotional again, Celine.’
‘Emotional,’ screeched Todd’s mother. ‘You think this is emotional?’
Todd closed his eyes and winced, freezing in anticipation.
There was an almighty crash. ‘That’s emotional.’
‘Pull yourself together, woman.’
Todd suddenly looked up and, following his gaze, Sophie could see Marty plugged into his phone, heading down the stairs. Todd grasped the handle and marched in.
‘Marty will be here any moment. At least try and be civil in front of him,’ he snarled in a voice that Sophie had never heard him use before.
Celine hastily schooled her face while an older-looking version of Todd sighed impatiently.
‘We’ll have drinks in the salon while Mahalia cleans up in here.’ He looked pointedly at the floor where a thousand shards of crystal were strewn. There was a definite indentation in the wall above. ‘And I’ll thank you, Todd, not to take that tone with us.’
‘Marty darling, take those ridiculous earphones off your head.’ Celine’s voice was suddenly sugar sweet.
‘Yes son, you look like hoodlum.’ Todd’s father glanced at him, a quick enough once up and down, as if to check he met with approval. ‘And tuck your shirt in. You’re not a child any more. Unlike your brother, who seems to have forgotten that we dress for dinner.’
Marty tucked in his shirt, his face an exact copy of Todd’s, completely devoid of expression.
Sophie realised that she’d edged closer to Todd. Neither his mother nor father had acknowledged her, for which she was fervently grateful. It felt as if she’d been pitched headfirst into a play as an understudy without a script. It also struck her that she’d never seen Todd dressed less than impeccably.
‘Dad, this is my friend Sophie. She’s renting Bella’s apartment over the business for a couple of months. She’s over from England. Sophie, my dad, Ross.’
‘England. London?’ With an utterly charming smile, as if the last ten minutes had never happened, he stepped forward and took her hand to shake it. ‘Does that mean you like gin? We have an excellent selection, don’t we Celine? I believe the rhubarb is particularly good.’ The sudden turnabout in tone and atmosphere, as Todd’s mum’s face transformed with an obliging smile, threw her.
‘I … er, yes,’ said Sophie, completely confused.
‘Excellent.’ With smooth, pleased confidence, he ushered her and Celine towards the salon. ‘Come and have a drink before dinner.’
The sofas in the salon were built for style rather than comfort and Sophie had to hold herself upright, clutching her gin as the conversation unfolded. Luckily years of training kicked right in and she was able to summon up her very best social manners to tide her through the odd undercurrents.
‘Todd, would you pop down and tell Chef we’ll be ready for dinner in twenty minutes?’
‘I thought you’d already—’
‘Todd, do as you mother tells you.’ Despite the snapped order, Todd rose slowly and ambled out of the room. At the door he shot Sophie a quick anxious look and she responded with a reassuring smile.
‘Celine tells me you work …’ Ross paused as if that was bad enough before adding, ‘… you’re a colleague of Todd’s at the magazine place.’ He and his wife sat side by side, suddenly unified in a powerhouse pose that reminded her of formal historical family portraits. She didn’t think it was an unconscious pose.
‘I am.’
‘And what is it you do?’ asked Celine.
‘I’m a food writer.’ Sophie smiled, exuding serenity.
‘How fascinating.’ Celine leaned forward, her eyes gleaming with sudden avaricious interest. ‘So you know all about trends in food? The next big thing.’
‘I guess,’ said Sophie. ‘I meet a lot of people in the food world, so you pick up on that sort of thing.’
‘Excellent, because I am so over quinoa and goji berries.’
‘Please tell me red meat is back in,’ said Ross, amusement lighting his face and instantly reminding her of Todd. ‘Not that I’m complaining, Celine runs a great home.’ He preened a little and looked fondly at his wife. ‘Everyone knows she throws the best parties. People love coming here for dinner.’
‘Now, Ross darling. I’m sure you’re exaggerating.’ She laid her hand on his, the light catching the array of diamonds on her wedding finger.
Sophie schooled her face, hoping the amazement didn’t show. Ten minutes ago, it sounded as if they’d been ready to kill each other.
‘Ah Todd.’
‘Chef says he’s serving now.’
Celine rolled her eyes and sighed in a winsome, what-can-you-do sort of way. ‘Oh, that man. We only put up with him because he cooks like an angel, but he does have a dreadful tendency to forget who he’s working for. But,’ she brushed a weary hand across her forehead and Sophie had to pinch her lips together, ‘that’s the price you pay for greatness.’
‘And I’m paying a hefty price,’ added Ross. ‘He’s the best-paid chef on the island.’ The latter was added with bombastic pride.
They moved through to the dining room to sit at a formally laid table. Despite there only being five of them, there was a full set of crystal glasses, an ornate place setting of what looked like gold-plated cutlery and damask napkins wrapped in a golden laurel-leaf-shaped napkin ring.
The first course, a delicately flavoured saffron broth with mussels, was brought in by Mahalia with great ceremony and Sophie had to admit the chef was some kind of genius.
‘What can you taste, Sophie?’ asked Celine, watching her as she took a considered mouthful.
‘Fennel? Cream.’
‘Yes!’ She clapped her hands in delight. ‘You do know what you’re talking about.’
‘I’m pleased to see you parked that eyesore of a car out of sight this time.’ Ross’s voice cut through and there was a definite pause in the chink of cutlery on china, a palpable heaviness in the air.
Todd gave his father a level look and carried on eating.
‘It shows some maturity at last. Can I assume that you might be coming to your senses and considering gainful employment?’
Todd’s mouth flattened. ‘I have gainful employment. I receive a salary each month.’
‘Chicken feed. You need to get some corporate experience. I’ve been talking to Wayne Fullerton—’
‘Dad, I’m not going to work in a merchant bank. Not now. Not ever.’
‘Do you realise that what you do reflects on me? You look like a lightweight. Partying is not a man’s job.’
‘Ross,’ interjected Celine. ‘He’s networking with some of the best-connected people in Manhattan. Just last month Joyce Weinerberg said she and her husband saw Todd at the Guggenheim fundraiser.’
‘Great, when’s he going to use those connections?’ Ross glared at Todd. ‘And what sort of example is it setting Marty? The boy’s flunking his grades. Sees his big brother bumming around in the city. Where’s the incentive for him to do well? No wonder his mid-term papers were all C’s.’
Marty’s head drooped.
‘Yes, you.’
‘Dad, I don’t think now’s the time for this conversation,’ Todd said firmly.
‘No, you’re right,’ said Ross. ‘Let’s talk about Wayne Fullerton’s boys. The elder one’s just got into Harvard. The younger one scored the highest in his SATs in the whole state. Joyce Weinerberg’s grandson landed an internship at Goldman Sachs and her granddaughter is playing the cello with the New York Symphony Orchestra.’
‘That girl is so talented,’ chipped in Celine. ‘And didn’t the grandson get a scholarship to Princeton?’
‘I believe he did.’
Sophie caught Todd’s eye. Why wasn’t he telling them about the awards he’d won? There were several lining the shelf behind his desk. He was a talented writer and several of his more in-depth feature pieces had been picked up by the New York Times.
Ross and Celine continued to reel off various friends’ offspring’s super-achievements, throughout which Marty seemed to shrink into his seat.
‘Wow, this looks amazing,’ gushed Sophie when the main course arrived. ‘I haven’t had beef tournedos for years. It’s such a classic dish. Did you know it was created in honour of the Italian composer Rossini?’
‘I did not know that,’ said Celine. ‘You hear that, Ross? This girl knows her food.’
‘I’ve eaten some amazing food in New York.’
‘Yes, we have some of the best restaurants. There’s a new one opened. Ross has been promising to take me, haven’t you darling?’
‘And I will as soon as I can get a table.’
Celine’s pout was a picture.
‘Darling, I promised you. I’ll make it happen.’
‘By the time we get there, it will be old news.’
‘Where is it?’ asked Todd. ‘I might be able to help.’
‘I doubt it,’ said Ross, tucking into the steak with gusto. ‘Onyx is booked solid for months.’
‘Oh! Todd took me there two weeks ago. Oh my goodness, the kobo beef is to die for.’ Sophie beamed across the table at him. ‘And what was that fabulous dish you had?’
Todd’s mouth quirked. ‘You mean the shrimp with langoustine custard and caviar. And don’t forget the foraged mushroom emulsion.’
‘Or the black champagne,’ added Sophie with a naughty twinkle in her eye.
‘Black champagne!’
Todd coughed, holding his napkin over his face.
‘That sounds divine. What a fabulous idea. Black and gold.’ Celine clapped her hands. ‘Sophie, where do I buy black champagne? Ross, do you think you could get some flown in for the party tomorrow?’
‘Sure, darling. Now that will make a statement. I bet Jeff and Jeanie Allenbrook won’t be serving black champagne at the tennis tournament.’
The rest of the meal was consumed by the subject and Celine’s musing on what else she could come up with to complete the theme. At last Mahalia came in to take orders for coffee and Marty announced he had an assignment for school to finish and scuttled away.
‘Fancy a stroll on the beach?’ asked Todd as Sophie drained her coffee cup. The start of a headache pinched at her temples.
Todd’s offer of an escape to the beach came not a moment too soon.
‘That would be lovely,’ she said, jumping to her feet. Oh heavens, was it that obvious she was so desperate to get away? ‘Thank you for a wonderful meal. That syllabub was amazing. I was trying to identify the flavour. Was it yuzu? I’d love to talk to your chef sometime.’ Her words ran together in haste, even as she was backing out of the room.
Once out of the dining room, Todd took her hand and they ran out of the house, and they kept running until they reached the path down to the beach.
‘Jeez, I’m sorry.’ Todd’s shoulders were hunched up to his ears when they finally came to a halt and sat down side by side amongst the scrubby grass at the top of the sand dunes. ‘I shouldn’t have subjected you to that. Each time I leave, I think it can’t be as bad as I remember. And each time I come back, it’s worse.’
‘It’s … not …’ No, she couldn’t lie. ‘Yeah, it is that bad.’ She shuffled closer to him to take the sting out of her uncharacteristically blunt words, so that they were hip to hip. She couldn’t lie to him but it went against the grain to make him feel any worse.
She slipped her arm through his and squeezed, her heart ached for him. ‘Do they have any idea what they’re doing to Marty?’
‘You got that?’ Todd turned to face her, worrying at the hairline of his temples with one hand. ‘Actually, he is super-bright. A bit of a computer genius, but they have no idea. He deliberately doesn’t make any effort at school. Does no work. He stays out of trouble, so keeps below the radar but he doesn’t do more than the bare minimum. He puts all the effort into working out how little he needs to do to not get booted out but enough to stay beyond notice. His way, I guess, of flipping the bird to the parents. You don’t see me, so I’m not going to do anything to try and please you.’ Todd suddenly sighed, shuffling close to her. ‘It’s not funny and I am seriously worried he’s going to get into big trouble one day. Skip the minor stuff and go straight for the big time. He got into Dad’s computer, reset all the passwords and managed to get into his bank account and tripled his monthly allowance. They had no idea until I made Marty tell them what he’d done. Dad assumed Mom made the change, she assumed Dad did, so he got away with it for months. As you probably saw, their communication is … confusing. I thought if they knew what he could do, they might be concerned and keep an eye on him. Stop him doing something really dumb like hacking into the Pentagon. But they don’t get it.’
‘From what I’ve seen of your Dad, I can’t imagine that went down well.’ Underneath Ross McLennan’s charming bonhomie, there was an inflexibility and a ruthless need to be top dog.
‘Dad reamed him. A full hour’s lecture on what a disappointment Marty was, but it was a ten-second wonder. Naughty Marty. Don’t do it again. Took his Xbox away and locked it in a cupboard for a month.’ Todd sighed and then added, with a reluctant laugh, ‘Little sod, bought another and a brand-new TV with Dad’s credit card and holed up in one of the suites on the top floor that’s hardly ever used. He had it all set up. They never even noticed. I didn’t bother telling them that time.’
Sophie laughed and slapped her hand over her mouth. ‘Oops. I shouldn’t laugh, but I like that Marty still managed to come out on top, but it’s pretty tragic that your parents had no idea he was doing that.’
‘Too busy with their own lives.’
‘Yes,’ said Sophie, ‘I … er …’
‘Don’t worry, nothing you say about them is going to offend me.’
‘They seem quite … erm, self-absorbed.’
‘That’s putting it mildly.’
‘And I couldn’t figure it. Do they love or hate each other?’
‘Your guess is as good as mine. I don’t think they know.’ Todd sounded weary. With one arm looped through his, Sophie pulled him closer and laid her hand over his where it lay on his thigh. ‘One minute they’re at each other’s throats, the next they’re making big extravagant gestures. Dad will present Mom with a new car or a pair of diamond earrings, but everyone will know he’s bought it for her as a surprise.’ He laced his fingers through hers almost absently. ‘They seem to revel in the drama of it all. As a kid it’s horrible to be around. The constant bickering and sniping at each other. And then over-the-top declarations of affection. You walk on eggshells the whole time. That’s why I worry about Marty. He’s got no one, but at least I had Bella. And her folks.’
No wonder he was so cynical about relationships. That early conversation over brunch suddenly made a lot more sense.
‘I’m sorry, that must be tough. My parents were solid. Gave me a really good sense of who I am. They genuinely love and respect each other.’
‘Which is why you’re such a nice person. More than nice. You’re kind, thoughtful.’
‘Yuk, I sound like someone’s granny.’
Todd turned and looked at her and lifted the hand linked with hers, kissing her knuckles one by one before raising his other hand to touch her cheek, hesitating for a second. ‘Sophie, you’re definitely not like anyone’s granny.’
His hand slid down her face to cup it. ‘You’re not … not like anyone I’ve ever met.’ At the husky tone, her stomach dropped away. In an unconscious nervous gesture, she clamped her lips together and his gaze followed the movement.
‘I want to kiss you again … and I know I shouldn’t.’
Sophie bit back a smile, charmed by his gentle diffidence. Lines furrowed his forehead and he looked adorably irritated and annoyed. It was gratifying and rather cute.
‘What if I wanted you to?’ Her fingernails pricked her palms as she scrunched up her hands under her thighs out of sight, her knuckles cold against the damp sand.
‘Sophie … you’re … you’re …’ Equal touches of hope and denial flitted across his face, telling her all she needed to know.
Mahalia’s words came back to her. After that hideous dinner, she knew exactly what the other woman meant. He really did need some kindness in his life. He would be an easy man to love, even if he didn’t think so. And she shouldn’t love him, but she could give him the care and kindness he deserved.
On the edge of precipice time. Jump and take flight or move back to safety. She could let him talk her out of this or she could let her mouth do the talking. Suddenly she didn’t care about the future, the next few months, the next few weeks. She wanted Todd to kiss her. To give in to that heady free-fall sensation of crazy lust, longing and desire, and to give him what he needed, someone who would look after him and show him that they cared.
Laying a hand over his, she moved in and moulded her mouth to his, her lips moving against his in a soft feather-light kiss. For a few seconds he responded and then pulled back.
‘You.’ He frowned and lifted a hand, extending his index finger towards her lips. He paused for a second before delicately tracing their outline. ‘I’m …. I don’t do relationships, commitment … and you seem like a commitment kind of girl.’ He sighed and skimmed her lips again. ‘You deserve better … but I …’ His finger paused, the touch setting light to tiny electrical tingles running down her chest. ‘I’m not sure I can … leave you alone.’
‘Maybe you don’t have to,’ suggested Sophie softly, not moving. She had a feeling that if she made one false move, like a skittish kitten, he’d back off.
‘I can’t give you what you want.’
For a second anger flared. ‘How do you know what I want?’
‘Sophie, you’re a forever kind of girl.’
‘And what if I decide to live a little? Have some fun. Have a fling. Everyone seems to think that’s what I need.’ She turned her head away, looking out at the sea, staring hard at the silver streams of moonlight dancing on the waves rippling into shore.
‘I’m fed up with playing safe. I tried that for two years. And do you know what? It was dull.’ Sex had always been a rather serious business with James. Perfunctory and, if she were honest, fairly passionless. Suddenly she wanted to know what it might be like to have some fun. ‘I want to live. To dive off the edge of that bloody cliff. And I’m telling you now Todd, if you don’t want to kiss me, I’ll find someone else who will.’
With a quick movement she twisted and pushed him down on the sand and lay on top of him.
His eyes displayed brief panic and then a slow smile emerged as she lowered her head very slowly to kiss him, signalling her intent all the way.
Just before their lips touched, a bare millimetre apart, she stopped.
‘Last chance,’ she breathed.
His hands slid into her hair and he pulled her head down to close the barely-there gap.
When they finally drew apart to draw breath, there was a wry smile on Todd’s face. His chest rose and fell as if he’d been running. Sophie laid a hand on it, feeling a touch possessive and proud.
‘Hell, where did you learn to kiss like that, English? I swear you’ve damn near seared the soles of my feet off.’
Her shoulders lifted in a tiny feminine shrug and she smiled at him.
He shuddered and shook his head. ‘What am I going to do with you?’
Sophie sighed. ‘Nothing. I know you’re not a commitment kind of guy. But I’m not sure I believe in commitment any more. After …’ She was not going to spoil the moment by saying his name. ‘I’ve realised this last few weeks that I spent all that time waiting for him to be around. Not living properly. Not doing stuff. I’m not going to do that any more. I’m going to live for now. Enjoy myself and let myself enjoy myself instead of putting everything on hold until the right things happen. I’m only here until November, the last thing I’m looking for is commitment. The last time I tried that I made a terrible mistake.’
‘You didn’t make a mistake Sophie, he did. And he lost you, which was his biggest mistake. I’m no prize when it comes to relationships but I treat people well. I don’t understand why anyone would do that. What did he get out of it … unless it was copious amounts of sex and I can think of far easier ways of getting that.’
‘It definitely wasn’t for that,’ snapped Sophie indignantly. ‘He was always too tired. And now I bloody know why.’ Her lip curled in disgust. James had always said sex wasn’t important, the cuddles were – and, stupid sap, she’d thought that was rather sweet. She sat up straighter, suddenly furious. ‘All that bloody time, thinking I fancied a …’ no, she couldn’t say it, ‘and he was too tired. Of course he was, because he was bloody sleeping with his wife. Impregnating her. And I,’ her mouth crumpled, ‘I thought I wasn’t that … you know …’
Todd lifted an eyebrow.
‘I thought I was … not very …’
Still Todd waited, he wasn’t going to help her out here.
‘Not very sexually attractive,’ she blurted out. ‘I bet all your Amys, Charlenes and Cheries are all super-model thin, with silk-curtain hair and shoulders like clothes horses.’
‘Sophie. Sophie. Sophie.’ He let out a long-pent-up sigh and shook his head. ‘Dumb bastard clearly never saw you in a bikini, babe,’ he paused and lifted a finger, tracing the neckline of her dress, ‘or rather, hanging out of it. And if he’s the one that said you were lopsided, he should be shot.’ He leaned in and kissed her gently and firmly on the lips. ‘And he certainly never saw that delicious pert ass of yours in Lycra running shorts.’ His hand shaped her face as he held her gaze, his eyes dancing with wicked amusement. ‘And those legs, I’ve had a few fantasies about those legs wrapped around …’ His fingers skimmed her collar bone. ‘Oh yes, those legs.’
Sophie stared at him, the words a balm to that constant sense of guilt she’d always felt about sex with James. It had always been tinged with disappointment, that guilt-ridden, slightly ashamed feeling that she was wrong to feel there should be more. Sex with James had always been hurried, in bed, in the dark and never mentioned. Now she realised it was probably a manifestation of his own guilt.
She gave Todd a wobbly smile.
‘English, you have no idea.’ He kissed the corner of her mouth, his fingers following to outline her lower lip. ‘Although it might have something to do with that oh-so-cute English accent. You sound all buttoned up and straight, but with, as revealed on the beach today, the body of a goddess. And these …’ His hands drifted down, soft through the silk of her dress, his mouth curving in the gentlest of smiles, ‘wonky boobs, they’re really quite lovely.’
‘Oh,’ breathed Sophie, feeling light-headed and disconnected from the world as if a puff of wind could lift her and carry her away.
‘You are lovely and …’ He pulled his hand away from her face and laced his fingers through hers. ‘Sophie, this … this could be a mistake.’
‘No.’ She sat up straighter with a sudden spurt of panic. Whatever this was with Todd, it made her feel more alive than she had done in years. So what if it wasn’t destined to last? She had no idea what the future held, why the hell not live for the moment? Excitement fizzed at the prospect. She wanted to hold onto it, grab it with both hands and bloody well enjoy the feeling.
‘Todd,’ her voice rang out, clear and determined. Her mind made up. ‘I’ve made the mistakes already. I did the serious thing for two years. Where did that get me? I want to have some fun. And I mean fun.’ She gave him a look that should leave him in no doubt. ‘I don’t want serious. And I certainly don’t want commitment.’ With a lift of her head, she gave him a direct look, filled with challenge. ‘If you’re not interested, tell me now.’
‘Oh boy. You know, you’re even sexier when you get all haughty and posh on me.’
As he leaned forward, a wicked smile curving his lips, his eyes full of intent, Sophie felt a huge sense of relief and the sensation that a door had been kicked wide open.
When he planted his lips on hers, she went boneless, conscious only of the teasing determination of his touch. He pushed his hands up through her hair, a gentle but possessive hold, as he angled his head to deepen the kiss. She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her, wanting more, even though she couldn’t have articulated what more was to save her life. It was almost as if she couldn’t get close enough. Almost as if he felt her desperation. Something had changed and his mouth began to explore hers with a heated thoroughness that made her heart bang so hard, it almost hurt to breathe.
One hand slid down her neck, brushing the edge of her breast in a barely-there tantalising touch before sliding around her hip to cup her bottom, pulling her tight against him. The seductive, tentative drift of his fingers teasing her skin through her dress made Sophie ache for more. With sudden boldness that surprised herself, she caressed his lower lip with her tongue, insistent and demanding, until he opened his mouth and sucked her tongue in.
In seconds the kiss went X-rated as Sophie refused to let up control. She deepened the kiss, feeling feminine and womanly as she pressed her breasts against him and rolled her hips against the erection pressing at his trousers. When Todd let out a heartfelt groan as she ground up against him, her pulse leapt in exhilarated delight.
‘Jesus, Sophie,’ he muttered in her ear as they pulled back, their breathing heavy. ‘You’re killing me.’
‘Good,’ she said and pulled his mouth back to hers. She’d been the good girl for too many years. This man knew how to kiss and she was going to enjoy every last damn moment.
It was Todd who finally put the brakes on things, wrenching his mouth away and putting some distance between them. In the moonlight, she could see the pulse jumping in his throat and the rise and fall of his chest.
‘Sophie, unless you want our first time to be down and dirty in the sand, we have to stop.’
At that moment, common sense had all but gone up in a puff of smoke and down and dirty sounded rather appealing to a girl who’d never been down and dirty in her life.
With a challenging tilt to her head, she gazed back at him.
‘Seriously, Sophie.’
‘I’m game,’ she said.
He groaned. ‘You’re making this really hard.’
‘Well, I certainly hope so,’ she said with a winsome smile.
He took her hand. ‘Let’s walk.’
‘You’re no fun. Here am I, thinking for the last few weeks that you’re an international playboy with a string of women, and you want to walk.’
‘Yes, Sophie. I want to walk.’ He sounded almost cross. ‘And as we both know, it’s been a while, so unless you want me to go off like an express train, give me a little time here.’
She smiled to herself and gave his hand a squeeze, rather pleased with herself.
He pulled at her hand, leading her down to the shore. As they neared the waterline, right on cue the moon shot out from behind a cloud, lighting up the sea with silvery iridescence. The shush of the sea rolling in and out was almost hypnotic, adding to the atmosphere of calm otherworldliness.
‘Gosh, it’s beautiful out here. You can almost forget that cities exist.’ There were only a few lights from the houses hidden beyond the dunes. ‘It seems impossible that New York is just along the same coast, full of people and buildings.’
Todd nodded but didn’t say anything as he stared out at the horizon where the silver-rimmed clouds scudded around the moon.
‘I need to …’ He stopped and Sophie, looking at his profile silhouetted against the pale sand lit up by the moonlight, saw him swallow as if in pain, his Adam’s apple bobbing. ‘I need to tell you … this, between us, it … it’s … I don’t want to … I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I like you. A lot but … it won’t ever be … anything permanent. I’m being honest. I’ve been with girls who thought that they could change me. The love of a good woman and all that. I’m not being a dick. I sound like one,’ he squeezed her hand, ‘but I’m trying to be completely honest with you. If you want to duck out now, that would be fine … but you have to know, I’m not going to fall in love with you.’
Sophie felt a tiny pinch of regret, not for herself but for him. Being so adamant he was never going to fall in love. Being so against the idea. At the moment, she was out of love with the idea of being in love, she didn’t want to get hurt like that again, but one day she’d feel ready again. There was hope, whereas Todd seemed to have effectively closed himself off from any hope at all.
‘And I don’t want to fall in love with you. Done that, got the T-shirt. But I do want to enjoy myself. You’re not my type at all.’
‘Yes I am.’
Sophie narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out whether he was being serious or not.
‘No, you’re not.’
‘Yeah, I am, English. I saw you giving me the eye the first time we met.’ He nudged her with his arm.
‘I wasn’t giving you the eye, I was trying to stop you eating my cupcake, if you recall.’
‘No, you were flirting with me at the get-go.’
‘I wasn’t.’
‘You were.’
‘Todd McLennan, you have such a big head. If you think the blue eyes, charming smile and big Hollywood teeth are all it takes to make women fall at your feet, you need a reality check.’
He laughed out loud. ‘And that right there is exactly why I like you.’
‘I made the mistake of falling in love with someone who didn’t deserve it, I’m not going to do that again in a hurry,’ said Sophie and then, worried she sounded bitter, she quickly added, ‘and yes on a good day, from a very long distance, if I squint a bit, there’s nearly a resemblance to a young Rob Lowe, so I might fancy you a teeny tiny little bit, but don’t let it go to your head. I’m more of an Ed Sheeran kind of girl.’
Todd burst out laughing. ‘Well, that’s put me in my place.’
Sophie winked at him, ignoring the mocking voice at the very back of her head asking just how long did she think she could keep him in his place. And what if she had enough love for both of them?