-15-
An hour before, I had been euphoric. I had an objective. Now, I couldn’t think past the things Gavyn had told me. Should I ask my father about my memory loss? Or ask Lady Nemea? Solange? No, my sister was faking amnesia. Or maybe Gavyn was lying about that, too. But would he lie when he wanted me to help Bran?
Ruby and Callum entered the room and I studied them, wondering how much they’d heard. I hated doubting them. Their loyalty was the one thing I’d taken for granted the last couple of months.
“Let’s go home,” I said.
We teleported back to the family room. Katia and the others were still there. From the looks of things, they’d ordered more food. How would they treat me once they learned I’d participated in raids that had destroyed their homes and killed their families?
“How did it go?” Katia asked, coming to my side.
Had Gavyn told her why he wanted to talk to me? He’d said I could trust her. “Fine. You guys came up with any ideas while I was gone?”
“Plenty,” Gus said. Ravan, busy shoving a large chunk of pie in his mouth, nodded.
Lottius lifted a CC. “We have the recordings of the entire meeting, including the time you were gone.”
Seeing the CC reminded me of the one I’d incinerated. Could Solange have erased it? Lottius had been with me when Gavyn’s personal guard had given me the first crystal. She was also curious about where I was going before I left. Could she have sneaked into my quarters?
Dang it, I was beginning to suspect everyone. Lottius had never visited my rooms before the night the CC disappeared. Besides, her presence would have alerted the guards. Sir Malax always insisted on having two guards stationed there whenever I was gone.
“Lilith?”
I blinked. Katia looked at me questioningly. The others were standing. “Sorry. Uh, are you guys leaving already?”
“She’s got a date,” Lottius said, indicating Katia with a nod, “and we are going clubbing, ending at Club LZ. You can join us if you like.”
“She’s not yet eighteen, Lottie,” Katia said. “LZ’s bouncers won’t let her in.”
“Lord Zhane is about profit,” Lottie retorted. “He’ll let in babies in strollers if they’re paying customers.”
Listening to them added a little normalcy to my life, which had taken a nosedive during my talk with Gavyn. I might not know who to trust, but the people in this room and I had one thing in common—concern for the Subsixers. I should focus on that.
“That’s okay,” I said. “I’m not in the mood for clubbing, anyway. It’s been a long day.” I glanced at Ravan, Jazreel, and Gus. “Let’s take a break for a couple of days. I need to talk to my father and Solange, who’s supposed to be working with me on this.” Solange, the faker. Now I questioned everything she’d ever said.
“Lilith,” Katia said again, concern in her voice. “Are you okay?”
The others were gone, except Lottius and Katia. “I’m fine. I’ve a lot of thinking to do and I want to watch that”—I pointed at the CC in Lottius’s hand. “Go and get ready for the club, Lottie. And you”—I smiled at Katia—“have a fun date. I’ll see you guys on Monday at the Academy.”
They both frowned.
“What?” I asked.
“We were planning on going to the beach tomorrow,” Katia said.
“You’re coming, right?” Lottius added.
“I don’t know. I’ll ping you if I can get away. If not, I’ll see you on Monday.” I’d been looking forward to attending the Academy, but now all I thought about was what Lord Gavyn had said. I reassured the girls again that I was okay before they left. My eyes met Callum and Ruby’s. “Goodnight, guys,” I said. “Let other guards take over. It’s been a long day.”
“May I say something, Princess?” Ruby asked just as I turned to enter my bedroom.
I stopped, turned, and studied their expressionless faces. “Sure.”
“Anytime you need to be alone or go somewhere, just ask for us and we’ll help,” she said.
Callum nodded. “You can trust us to keep your whereabouts a secret.”
Once again, I wondered how much they’d heard. I glanced at my watch. I had over two hours to kill before my meeting with Bran. Should I trust them? According to Gavyn, no one could be trusted.
“Thanks, guys. Goodnight.”
“We knew exactly where you were last week under the water, Princess,” Ruby whispered. The other two guards were too far away to hear us.
I frowned. “What are you saying?”
“We kept the searchers away until you and Bran were done,” Callum said quickly.
“We also knew he was in the bathroom with you before the High Council meeting today,” Ruby added. This time, color crept into her cheeks. “We told your friends you blocked our attempts to come inside or to communicate. Actually, I blocked them.”
Of course. All of my guards were Prime Psis.
“How do you know him?” I asked, not completely sure I could trust them.
Ruby smiled. “We all grew up near each other on Coronis Isle. We were with Gavyn in the same training unit, so we know Bran and Celeste, too.”
The sister Gavyn had mentioned. She and I were supposedly friends. “Can you describe her?”
“Black hair like’s Bran, but she has Gavyn’s eyes. She’s spunky. Even their mother couldn’t stamp it out of her.”
Ruby’s voice changed when she mentioned Bran’s mother, but I let it go. “Did Bran leave the island to join the Guardians?”
Ruby chuckled. “That was just a rumor. Bran would never willingly join the Guardians. He fought for the House of Neteru during mortal combat when we were choosing a leader and won. Why do you think your father refuses the title of king? That title belongs to the person who won mortal combat. Bran did.”
So, he was a king pretending to be a minion? No wonder he was everywhere. This was getting even more confusing. I had to talk to him. Only he could answer all my questions. How could I love him and not remember him after all these months?
Then a thought occurred to me. What if all this was a scam by Gavyn and these two were in on it? I shook my head. I was going to go crazy if I continued to second-guess myself. Ruby and Callum studied me with worried expressions. If they remembered their pasts, they knew about mine, yet I’d never felt hatred or resentment toward me.
“Did Bran tell you anything about tonight?” I asked.
“Not about the meeting with Lord Gavyn,” Callum said. “But he contacted us while you two were talking. He said to remind you about your midnight meeting at the library.”
Okay, so Bran trusted these two. Did that I mean I should, too? I glanced at my watch. “Yes, I’m meeting him at the Sublevel Library.” Bran should confirm everything his brother had said. But if the entire thing was a scam… “Give me a moment.”
I headed to my bedroom, removing the cloak and throwing it on my bed. First, I went into the bathroom and got the CC with Gavyn’s message. Without watching it again, I closed my hand around it and felt it crumble into tiny pieces. I threw the sandy remains into the garbage and rinsed my hands. Then I contacted Rahm and confirmed that I was starting at the Academy on Monday. I didn’t have the heart to ask why he’d told my sister first.
“Ah, there you are,” Lady Nemea said, and I whipped around. “How were the visits?”
She was the last person I wanted to see tonight. “What?”
“I just talked to Callum and Ruby. They said you were visiting min… Subsixers.”
The guards had covered for me. Nice. As for Lady Nemea, I didn’t want her hovering around tonight. I was making that meeting with Bran.
“It was a short one, but tomorrow I’ll make longer rounds.”
“You don’t have to visit them in their homes,” Lady Nemea said. “You could hold an audience downstairs in the auditorium or the conference room.”
“I can’t refuse to visit their homes if they invite me. That would be rude. Isn’t that your number one rule? Princesses cannot show real emotion. You smile and stay cordial at all times.”
She looked ready to argue, then appeared to change her mind. “Are you getting ready for bed?”
I wanted to say yes so she could leave. This constant monitoring had to stop. “Yes.”
“Good. I brought your bedtime drink.”
“Thanks.” I followed her to the bedroom and took the drink. She’d turned down my bed. While she went to get my nightdress, I sipped my drink and went over everything Gavyn had told me.
Part of me wanted to verify everything he’d said, but another part wished I could pretend he’d never said them. Lady Nemea came back with a white frothy nightdress made of silk and lace. I’d stopped complaining about her choosing my clothes and treating me like a child. It didn’t really matter what she chose anyway, because I always changed the color to suit me. She brushed my hair while I continued to sip the hot drink.
“How did you style your hair so fast this afternoon?” she asked as she pulled the brush down.
I shrugged. “I just did.” I looked at my watch. “Thanks.” I gave her the mug, stripped, and slipped on the nightdress, then lifted the hair from my neck.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” she asked.
“Yeah. Why?”
“You usually insist I leave the room while you change.”
I hadn’t even realized I was doing it. “I, uh, I have a lot on my mind.”
“You’ve taken on a serious responsibility for one so young. No one will blame you if you bow out or ask for help. I’m here if you need help.”
“No, I’ll be okay. Goodnight.” I reached out and kissed her cheek, knowing it would please her. Sure enough, she smiled and patted my cheek.
“Goodnight, my dear.”
I waited until she teleported, then removed the Kris Dagger from its box and waited for a sign that we were linked. Ever since Bran told me we were, I’d reread his grandfather’s journal and memorized everything the dagger could do. If Lord Gavyn was right, I could do these things now. Every night, I tried to command it, with zero results.
As always, the dagger didn’t react when I touched it or commanded it. I started feeling drowsy, and I fought to stay awake, but it became harder and harder. Better to fall asleep at the library, where Bran could wake me up, than here.
I got my cloak from the closet, where Lady Nemea had put it, clasped it on, and left the bedroom. Four guards, all male, were settling at their post. Two of them, Krampus and Drias, were not so strict or anal.
I had gone out of my way to make friends with all my guards. The older one, Krampus, had two kids, while Drias’s wife was expecting. I’d shared snacks and played card games with them on some nights. Until an hour before, I would have trusted them with my life. Part of me hated Lord Gavyn for turning me into a bundle of nerves and mistrust.
“Evening,” I said, keeping my voice light.
“Good evening, Princess,” they said in unison.
“We heard the good news, Princess,” Drias said. He was a talker. “The min…uh, Subsixers are lucky to have you as their champion.”
The others nodded.
“Thanks, guys,” I said, then asked after their families, but my heart wasn’t really in it. I kept wondering if they were in the Great Battle. I knew it was a terrible habit to acquire, but from now on, I’d always wonder how many people knew my memories were intact after the battle, and how many knew they were erased here on the island or just assumed I was faking amnesia like Lord Gavyn had.
“Is everything okay? Do you want us to get you anything from the kitchen?” Drias asked.
Food was the last thing on my mind. “Not tonight.”
“We brought cards in case you wanted to join us,” he added.
I grinned. “I want to do a little reading downstairs at the sub-library. Maybe tomorrow.”
“But Lady Nemea said—”
“I know, Drias. I can’t sleep. I want you and Krampus with me.”
The place was usually packed with students in the back room having telepathic debates, adults picking up and dropping off books, and children streaming to and from story time. Tonight, it was like a graveyard. Saturday night was for partying and clubbing.
The head librarian sat behind the desk with her eyes closed, but I’d bet she knew the moment people teleported into and out of the library.
The back room with the globe was visible from where we were. Even though the lights were on, the room was empty. I grabbed a few human magazines on my way, smiling and nodding at the few readers who looked up. The rest had their noses buried in their books. I disappeared inside the room while the two guards stayed outside the door.
The room had slat-covered glass windows facing the main floor of the library. Inside, an oval table with six chairs took up most of the space, but along the walls were comfortable leather chairs. I closed the slats and the door, curled up on a chair to wait.
The magazines kept me busy for fifteen minutes, but then I checked at my watch and groaned. I still had almost an hour to kill. Worse, my eyes kept drooping. One second I was semi-alert, the next I couldn’t lift my eyelids. I tried to summon the guards, but I couldn’t make a link.
Bright lights on my eyelids woke me up. I squinted and looked around. I was in my bedroom. How the heck did I get here from the library?
I sat up and dizziness washed over me. I flopped back on the pillow and scowled at the clock by my bed. It was ten. I’d had enough sleep and shouldn’t be fatigued.
This wasn’t the first time I’d woken up tired after nearly twelve hours of sleep. I’d blamed my slow recovery from the coma, then the emergence of my energy powers. But after Gavyn mentioned his men wanting to drain my psi energy, I couldn’t help wondering.
Crap. Bran. I never got to meet him last night. Bet the guards carried me back to my bedroom. How humiliating.
Good morning, dear, Lady Nemea said cheerfully in my head.
I winced at her overly loud voice.
Are you awake, Lilith?
I sighed. I am now.
She chuckled. May I come up?
Would she insist if I said no? You defeated the archangel Raphael, and he didn’t erase your memories, Lord Gavyn had said. Did she know who did it?
Lilith? She asked again.
Sure, come up.
She appeared in my bedroom, looking joyful and radiant. I was so used to seeing her disapproving expression that her happiness seemed off. She wore a long lavender dress that suited her willowy figure perfectly. There was something different about her.
“Your hair is different,” I said. She still had bangs, but it was now shoulder-length and darker. Something about her face reminded me of Solange. Maybe it was the darker hair.
“You like it?” She patted it. “I did it to celebrate our victory. You, my dear girl, have made us so proud. All our hard work paid off. You are finally a princess.”
Despite the battle going on inside my head, I laughed. “I thought I was born a princess.”
A chuckle escaped her. “You were and you were not. Come on. Today is another beautiful day and your father wants the two of you to have brunch.” She picked up the cloak I’d left once again at the foot of my bed and carried it to the closet. “Everyone is talking about you and the wonderful changes you’re bringing to the island,” she called out from the closet. She appeared with two dresses. “Which one do you think?”
One had lots of yellow and the other was emerald green, like Bran’s eyes. I had to find him. “You pick.”
Her brow shot up in surprise, and then she smiled and disappeared inside the closet. I left for the bathroom. By the time I finished with the shower, she was gone and the emerald-green dress was on my bed.
Father got to his feet and smiled when I appeared in his private dining room. Something about his smile sent a rush of emotions through me. He’d searched for me and never gave up on finding me. He’d known about my past with the Guardians, yet he had never stopped loving me. After last night, his love was the one thing I didn’t doubt or question. But could he have erased my memories?
“Morning, daughter,” he said.
Instead of answering, I walked straight to him and gave him a hug. I didn’t care whether Lady Nemea thought my actions were inappropriate. I just needed to connect with someone I loved on a different level.
At first his arms stayed at his sides. He was surprised. Then he wrapped his arms around me. His musky scent was familiar. I held on, my cheek pressed against his chest. I was tall, about five-ten, but he was taller.
I leaned back and grinned. “Morning, Daddy. I’m starving.”
He laughed. “Then we’d better tell the kitchen staff to bring more food.”
Soon, we were having a lively discussion about the High Council meeting, my ideas for the Subsixers, and the suggestions from my friends. He didn’t agree with some of them and I tried to see things from his point of view, but I didn’t back down from my position. One thing we agreed on was that Master Rahm should be in charge of the Subsixers’ education, since he wasn’t going to teach me anymore.
Two hours later, we were still having a serious debate. Father didn’t seem in a hurry to leave, which suited me. I needed an “us” moment. To be with someone I loved and I knew loved me. A few times, I was tempted to ask him about my memories, but I didn’t want to spoil the moment.
“Tell me about Mom,” I said.
He leaned back and studied me with an indulgent expression. “What do you want to know?”
“Who was she? How come, whenever I’m introduced, no one mentions her?”
A faraway look entered his eyes. “Your mother was a Guardian.”
I choked on the orange juice and winced when he slapped my back. Of all the explanations, that had never crossed my mind. I’d assumed she was a Subsixer or even human. Never a Guardian.
“You married a Guardian?” I whispered.
He chuckled. “I fell in love with a wonderful woman. I didn’t know she was a Guardian when we met. It wouldn’t have made any difference to how we felt about each other. She was working as a computer programmer in Seattle. I was running one of our companies. I want to show you something.” He left and reappeared with CCs of childhood moments.
Two hours became three.
“Something happened to scare her. She didn’t care that I was related to Queen Coronis or that I was a product of her experiments, so it didn’t make sense when she took off. I was angry and determined to find her.” A haunted look entered his eyes. “I mounted a raid against the Guardians. She told me you were dead, that she’d killed you rather than have Queen Coronis raise you.” He shook his head. “I don’t know where she got that idea from and I didn’t get a chance to ask her. When she told me you were dead, that she’d killed you, I lost it.”
My chest hurt and my mouth had long since turned into sandpaper. The anguish in his eyes and intensity of his emotions confirmed what I’d already guessed. He’d killed my mother.
“In my grief, I did the unthinkable. The unforgivable.” He glanced at me, his expression shifting into the smooth marble that hid everything. “I told you before that it was my fault she died that night. The fact is—”
“You hurt her.”
“I did, but I didn’t mean to kill her. I wanted her to stop talking about your death, and I lashed out in my grief.” The mask slipped and bared his pain. “Because of me, you were denied a chance to know and love her.”
I reached for his hand. “It’s okay, Dad.”
He covered my hand. “No, it’s not okay. I should have known she’d never harm you. You were everything to her.” I opened my mouth to speak, but he shook his head. “There’s more. Things I did to find you and bring you home. Things I regret, yet I would do them again to have you here by my side.”
“Don’t, Dad,” I said, tears streaming down my face.
“You don’t understand, Lilith. I was selfish and manipulative. My methods were unconscionable and extreme. Do you know what mortal combat is? I had our people fight to the death just so you could win and be their queen.”
“Stop, please. You love me and wanted me with you. How can that be wrong? We all do things we think are right at the time. It’s only later we realize we’ve made a mistake. We can learn from it, find a way to make amends, or let the guilt eat at us. You created this island, brought our people here, gave them a place they can call home. Then you found me and brought me home. That’s what we should focus on. The future, not the past.”
He smiled and shook his head. “When did you become so wise?”
Since last night. I had some serious atonement to do too. I owed it to my people. “I am the Chosen One. These rare moments of wisdom are supposed to come naturally.”
He threw back his head and laughed. It was the first time I’d heard him laugh out loud. It sounded good.
“I’m afraid your genes or future duties have very little to do with it. Your grandfather is to be thanked for the way you’ve turned out.”
“My grandfather? I have one?” I asked.
He chuckled. “Of course you do. I might be a product of Queen Coronis’s breeding program, but your mother was born out of love. I’m talking about your mother’s father, the Guardian who raised you. Kenta said he explained about him.”
The conversations I’d had with my trainer flashed in my head. “The old man was my grandfather?”
“Is,” he corrected. “He’s still alive.”
“Master Kenta said we moved from place to place because the Guardians didn’t trust me.”
My father frowned. “I don’t know if that was Falcon’s reason for moving from place to place. Whatever his reasons, he preferred the company of his wife’s people. He didn’t just live among the Gypsies, Lilith. Your grandmother was a Gypsy.”
“A human?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
So, everything Master Kenta had told me was true. They’d rejected me because of my father and my grandmother. “How did you find me?”
“Do you remember Lord Gavyn? I pointed him out during your party.”
I nodded.
“His younger brother went missing and he followed him to the Guardians’ enclave. When Gavyn came back and told me of a teenager with red hair who could stop omni energy balls, I was interested because no one can stop those balls, not even those who create them. That was when I approached Kenta to find out more about you. I expected to find the Chosen One, not my child. You were still alive.” He smiled. “Your grandfather raised you by himself and kept your existence a secret, despite our paths crossing.” He gripped my hands and studied our linked hands intently before focusing on my face. “I’ve forgiven him for keeping you from me, and because of that, I’m willing to consider a request he sent a few days ago.”
“What?”
“He wants to see you.”
“What? Why?” I stammered, trying to process the information my father was throwing at me. He’d just confirmed part of Gavyn’s story and now my grandfather wanted to see me? The man who’d kept me away from my people? Made me hunt my own people down and commit heinous acts? I didn’t think so.
“He wants to make sure that you are okay. I had to petition the Tribunal, the highest council of elders in charge of Nephilimic affairs, to have you here with me. Your grandfather wasn’t happy with the way I went about it, but I wanted you with me and I did what I had to do to make it happen.” He frowned, his hands squeezing mine. “I know you said you don’t need an explanation, but when you’re ready, I’d like to tell you everything. It doesn’t justify so many things that I did, but…” He sighed. “I was desperate.”
“I understand, and I already said all is forgiven.”
He smiled. “For now. Your grandfather misses you very much and wants to see you.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Lilith—”
“I don’t want to see him. Not yet.” Not until I made amends for the pain I had caused when I was a Guardian. Maybe the person who’d deleted my memories had done me a favor. The memories would have crippled me.