Cynder

His eyes flicked up, and he noticed me at the same time that I noticed him. I saw his eyes go wide and light up, before the spark went out and he looked away, staring straight forward in front of him like the other waiters, waiting for their orders.

No one else noticed that my heart had nearly leapt out of my chest. The whole room seemed to go silent around me. He looked exactly how I remembered him except he was more careworn. Even from across the room I could see scars on his face, and even though he was fully covered from the neck down, I knew there would be more scars underneath. I wanted to jump up and run to him, but how could I? No one knew about us. He wasn’t even looking at me now.

Someone brought in a huge tureen of soup, and the waiters took it in turns to serve. First the king, then the queen. I watched where Cynder went, hoping that he would head straight to me.

“Charmaine!” I jumped at the sound of my name. Luca, sitting next to me, squeezed my hand. “You were daydreaming. Are you ok?”

I looked at Luca. “I’m fine...sorry,” I replied, feeling flustered.

“You were miles away.”

“I’m just tired after the journey,” I replied, yawning for good measure. “I’ll be fine.”

“I was just introducing you to Tomas and Seraphia.”

Tomas, Luca’s brother, nodded his head curtly, but Seraphia gave me a huge grin.

“And these two little monsters are Jacob and Michael.”

The two boys stuck their tongues out at me again, but I was too confused to care. Instead, I smiled at all of them at once and said hi.

A dish of soup was laid down next to me. I jerked my head to the side to see who had served it and found myself looking at a kindly old waiter who smiled at me. Looking back around the room, I saw that many of the waiters had already left, probably back to the kitchen to let us eat in peace. Cynder was one of them.

Why had he not served me? Was he mad at me? I could only assume he was. Why wouldn’t he be? I’d told him I loved him and then promptly gotten engaged to someone else. Even though I’d hired a private investigator to find him, he’d come up with nothing. Six months ago, Cynder had completely vanished into thin air. I wondered how many of those months he’d been here.

“It’s so lovely to meet you,” Seraphia leaned across the table and spoke directly to me. “We should meet up after dinner. I’ve been really looking forward to meeting the one that finally got Luca to settle down.”

“I’d like that,” I replied, absent-mindedly and went back to eating my soup. When the main courses came, I sat up straight, waiting for Cynder, but he never reappeared.

After we had finished eating, we were all invited into a small wood-paneled room for drinks. A fire roared at one end with a couple of leather sofas and two matching leather chairs all pointing towards it in a kind of semi-circle. The smell of the burning logs filled my nostrils as a glass of whiskey was thrust into my hand by Theron.

I saw Seraphia winging her way towards me, but it was Luca that got my attention by pulling me back outside to the hallway.

“What’s the matter?” he barked.

“Nothing. Why?”

“You’ve been acting strange all during dinner. You barely said a word to anyone. It’s not like you.”

I immediately felt bad. He was right. I’d been so caught up in Cynder that I’d not paid attention to anything going on around me.

“I’m sorry. I’m always nervous around people I don’t know. I guess I felt overwhelmed.” It was partly the truth. “I’ll go back in there and talk to everyone.”

“Thank you.” His voice softened. “My parents love you. You know that. I want Tomas and Seraphia to love you too.”

“I’ll try,” I promised, turning towards the door. Luca pulled me back around and tugged me into an embrace. His tongue teased my lips apart, but I resisted.

“Not here,” I said, pulling back. Your family is in there.”

“So?”

“So, we should go and talk to them.”

He looked so downhearted, and yet, I couldn’t bring myself to pretend. I’d made a promise to myself to visit him in his room that night, but now that I’d seen Cynder, I knew I’d not be able to bring myself to do it.

When I went back into the parlor, I was the life and soul of the party. It was my way of making up for everything. I hated that Luca was disappointed in me. He deserved better. I sipped lightly on my whiskey, hoping the burning sensation it produced would drown out the pain I was feeling inside. King Theron grabbed my waist and pulled me into a sideways hug, almost crushing me in his bearlike arms. All the while, he jovially talked to the others about how proud he was that Luca had finally found the right girl.

I’d not really noticed it when we were sitting around the table earlier, but he’d used the same word that Seraphia had. “Finally.” Both of them had used it when describing Luca. It was almost as if they thought that Luca would never settle down.

After quite a number of whiskeys on Theron’s part, I was finally able to escape his clutches. He was being nothing but lovely to me, but after drinking so much, he was beginning to repeat himself. I think he was more excited about our wedding than my mother was, and that was saying something.

I walked across the room, glad to be away from the oppressive heat of the fire. Seraphia took the opportunity and came over to me.

“Don’t you like whiskey either?” she asked, nodding at my still mostly full glass. “Theron never asks, he just gives you alcohol. I think if everyone else drinks it, it makes him feel better about drinking so much of it himself. Would you prefer some champagne because I know I would.”

I nodded my head gratefully. The whiskey wasn’t taking my pain away, it was just stripping the lining from my throat. I much preferred the freshness and bubbles of champagne. Seraphia left the room and came back a couple of minutes later with a young servant carrying two champagne flutes and a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, taking the bottle and pouring me a glass. I never thought I’d see the day when I’d get a new sister-in-law.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked, although I knew full well the reason. Reputations don’t happen for no reason, and Luca had quite a reputation for the ladies before I met him.

Her face fell as she realized what she’d said.

“Oh, it’s just that I didn’t take Luca as the marrying kind, that’s all. I was surprised when he told us that he’d put his name into the drawing for the ball last year.”

“He wants the chance to rule a country. He told me so.”

“I think it’s more than that. He’s a different person since meeting you. Look at him.” I looked over. He was chatting animatedly with his brother. He did seem to be happy.

“He would make a great leader, though,” she continued “He’s done so much to help me promote Magi rights recently. He told me that is something very close to your own heart.”

I nodded enthusiastically; glad to be finally on the subject. “It is. I don’t want a kingdom separated by hate. A lot of mistakes have been made in the past, and I want to rectify them. Everyone will be an equal in Silverwood.”

“It’s not that easy, though, is it? Luca tells me that you are having a hard time changing the views of the people.”

“It’s almost impossible,” I admitted. “I thought it would be easy once I was queen, but the kingdom has become more segregated than ever. I’ve opened up the palace and the universities to the Magi, but no one is taking me up on my offer. They are either too scared after all the violence last year, or they have gone. I’ve not seen a single Magi since the panic at my wedding to Xavier. If there are any left, they are all in hiding.”

“Keep at it! You are doing a wonderful job. People will come around eventually. Look at Luca.”

“What do you mean?”

She leaned in towards me and lowered her voice. “He didn’t like me when I first married his brother. I think he thought that Tomas marrying a mage would lower the monarchy somehow. It took a while, but he came around eventually, and now we are good friends. I have faith in you, and if you ever need any help, you know where I am.”

I thanked her, but her words were futile. It wasn’t even safe enough to invite her to my palace at the moment. I couldn’t see a way to make things better.

My head was beginning to hurt with the whiskey and champagne, so I said a hurried goodnight and slipped out of the room before Luca could spot me leaving.

I wished I’d had a chance to speak to Cynder. To tell him that whatever we had had between us was over for good. I wanted to explain why things had turned out the way they had and to apologize for my part in everything.

And you want to see him again.

“No, I don’t!” I whispered to myself, not entirely sure if it was the truth or not.

Walking the castle corridors was eerie compared to my own palace at home. I had become so accustomed to guards on every corner, that it felt weird to be roaming this huge house alone.

I managed to get to my bedroom without spotting a single other person. The beautifully made bed looked so inviting to me right now, but there was something I wanted to do before closing my eyes. I pulled out one of the cases I brought with me and searched through it. Xavi had packed most of my bags, filling them with gown after gown for every occasion except the occasion of just lolling around. The case I had on my bed was reserved exclusively for jewelry. When I opened it, I noticed that she’d put little notes on each piece telling which dress I should wear it with. I couldn’t help but smile. She didn’t trust me to be able to dress myself appropriately. Not that I could really blame her. I pulled out a small purse I’d thrown on top just before leaving Silverwood and opened the zipper. Inside was a little silver bracelet with a carriage charm and a silver slipper charm. No matter how much I wanted to pretend that Cynder wasn’t taking up my thoughts, the truth was, he’d not left them since I saw him at dinner. The fact that I’d brought this bracelet with me in the first place proved I’d not really stopped thinking about him at all.

I slipped the chain on my wrist and closed my eyes. I could see him as clear as day. His curly hair and those caramel colored eyes of his were branded on my brain.

I played around with the bracelet as I lay down on the bed, not even bothering to get undressed.

I could have asked myself why I wasn’t getting into my nightgown and slipping under the covers when I was so exhausted, but I knew it was because I was expecting a visitor. Cynder had seen me, I was sure of it, and he would know which room had been reserved for me. I didn’t have to wait too long. Within fifteen minutes there was a light knocking at my door. I jumped up out of bed, knocking the case with all the jewelry over and scattering diamond-encrusted tiaras and necklaces all over the floor. I jumped over them and with a hammering heart opened the door.

“I wondered where you went.”

Luca kissed me on the mouth. I could taste the whiskey on him. I wanted to enjoy it, but all I could think was “what if Cynder sees?” I pulled him into my room, which he took as an invitation. His kisses became more insistent, and his hands wandered lower and lower.

“I was hoping you’d be in your night clothes,” he said when he came up for air.

“I’m not ready for this!” I said, pushing him back guiltily. I’d said no to him so many times that it was causing a rift between us. To my surprise, he didn’t seem upset.

“I’m sorry, my love. I know you want to wait. I got carried away. I’d promised myself I’d leave you alone, but I fear I’ve drunk too much whiskey. The wait will make our wedding night all the sweeter.”

He kissed me again, but this time much more softly. It was warm and nice. There was no pressure in it. It was what it was, and for the first time in quite a while, I enjoyed it. I found my body responding to his touch in a way it had long since forgotten. Without the pressure of things going too fast, I remembered how much I enjoyed these kisses. When he pulled back, I almost followed him.

“Will you walk me to my room?” he said, clearly too inebriated to get there himself. How he’d managed to find my room, goodness only knew. I put his arm over my shoulder and walked him to his suite further down the corridor. His room was similar to mine but slightly bigger. I could tell he’d had this room since childhood as it was filled with his things. Framed photographs lined the walls, and the shelves were filled with knickknacks and trophies and the clutter that accumulates over time. I helped him to his bed where he fell asleep immediately. His heavy breathing turned into the lightest of snores. I wanted to leave him there as he was, but he was still wearing his dress uniform which looked extremely uncomfortable to sleep in. I rooted through a set of drawers until I found his pajamas and then began the task of removing his clothing. It was strange. We’d been engaged for months, but I’d never seen him without a shirt on before. I pulled off his jacket and slowly unbuttoned his dress shirt. His chest was smooth, with just a smattering of dark hairs and as I looked down on him, naked from the waist up, I realized just how beautiful he was. I ran my hand lightly up his chest, marveling at the hard muscles covered in warm skin. Something stirred within me. This was the man I was betrothed to. I’d promised him my life. Why was I waiting for a kitchen hand to come to me? I pulled his trousers down, leaving him only in his underwear, before quickly sliding his legs into the pajama bottoms. Once he was fully in his pajamas, I pulled his bed covers over him.

He looked so happy and peaceful in sleep and now that I’d had a view of what to expect on my wedding night, I knew I should throw away my childish thoughts of Cynder once and for all.

I was just about to leave when a golden pin, lying on the bedside table caught my eye. It was in the shape of a rose. I’d seen the symbol before. Frederick Pittser had been wearing something similar.

I headed back to my room and closed the door. After a second’s thought, I locked it. If Cynder came to see me, I couldn’t open the door. I got changed and hopped into bed. In my mind I pictured my gorgeous husband to be, sleeping just down the corridor. Within minutes I was asleep, and the picture of Luca transformed into one of a kitchen boy doing dishes whilst dancing to the beat of his own music.