Two men, Two kisses.

I stood staring at him, not sure if I was just so tired that I’d hallucinated him.

“Cynder?”

He was as beautiful as I remembered him and now all those months of dreams had crystallized into reality, I could barely breathe. In that second I knew that I’d not gone looking for him earlier to tell him I was sorry, but to look into his eyes just one more time. I couldn’t deny it to myself any longer.

“I heard that someone came down to the kitchen last night and scared the kitchen maid so much she broke all the dishes.”

“I was looking for you,” I whispered, knowing that him just being here was wrong.

“I figured.”

It wasn’t the meeting I’d imagined so many times. In my head, I’d run into his open arms and kissed him. There was never anything after that. Just an endless kiss. However, I was standing shell-shocked by my door, and Cynder was making no move to come towards me. We just stared at each other as if there was an invisible barrier between us and that barrier was my engagement to Luca.

Neither of us had moved when the door opened behind me. I turned quickly to see Luca walking through it.

“Are you ok?” he said, turning to me. “You’ve looked pretty down since the interview, and then you rushed off so quickly when we got home.”

“I...I...” I stammered, not knowing what to say. Cynder was laying on the bed right behind me. Luca only had to glance over my shoulder to see him.

“The interviewer was unbelievable,” he continued “Are you sure you are ok?”

I stood stock still, barely breathing. Luca took my hand and led me to the bed. He sat down mere inches from Cynder’s leg. He’d still not noticed him. How was that even possible?

Luca patted the bed next to him, and I sat too, being careful not to sit on Cynder. I glanced his way for a second and noticed he had a sly grin on his face.

Luca moved forward and kissed me. I nearly passed out with the sheer adrenaline and fear of the situation. I tried pulling back, but Luca was insistent, following me.

Seconds later there was a loud smashing sound behind Luca. A light bulb had fallen out of its socket and smashed on the floor.

“What the...” Luca got up and checked the socket. “How strange. It just fell out. I’ll get someone to come up and clean the mess up.”

“Don’t...worry,” I stammered, glancing at Cynder. His wand was out, and he had a curious expression on his face. I turned back to Luca. He was looking straight at me now. I was inches from Cynder, but it was obvious that he didn’t see him. “I’m really tired,” I said “I need a nap. I’ll get someone up to tidy it later.” I just needed Luca to be gone so I could breathe again. Being caught between the man I was betrothed to and the man that held my heart, was both terrifying and electrifying. I felt the blood draining from my face.

“Ok, if you are sure. You are looking a little peaky. Perhaps a nap would be the best thing. Just don’t stand on that glass in bare feet. We have a lot of dancing to do tonight.”

I got up and walked him to the door. As he left, he pecked my cheek.

“I love you, Charmaine.”

I kissed him back quickly to save me from answering. I’d never felt more wretched in my life. When he left I locked the door behind him and took a deep breath. I waited until I heard his footsteps walking away along the corridor outside before I spoke.

“He didn’t see you.”

“Did you forget I’m a Mage?” Cynder wiggled his wand and then returned it to his pocket.

“Why were you caught last year if you could just make yourself invisible like that?”

“I wasn’t invisible, you could see me. I just made it so that Luca couldn’t. If he was expecting me to be here, he’d have seen me. I tricked his mind that’s all. The people who captured me knew what they were looking for. They were experienced Magi hunters. That little trick wouldn’t have worked on them for a second.”

“Oh,” I sighed, trying to bring my heart rate back down to an acceptable level.

“What was Luca saying about an interviewer? I didn’t see the broadcast.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “There is an interviewer who threatened me last week at the palace in Silverwood. He said that I have to stop my crusade for Magi rights. He followed me here to Thalia and somehow managed to get a job at the local news network.”

Cynder sat up on the bed, interested in the information. “What do you mean ‘threatened you?’ Did he hurt you?” I could see the anger in his face. I was ashamed to admit it to myself, but it made me happy. It meant he still cared about me.

“He bruised my arm, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle,” I lied.

Cynder looked thoughtful for a moment. “A lot of people don’t want to live in peace with the Magi. You know that. He’ll be some crazy fanatic. I’m sure Luca will get him fired, and he’ll crawl back under the rock he came from.”

I sighed and straightened up on the bed. “He knows about us.”

“What?” Cynder sat up straight, matching my own posture.

“He told me when he bruised my arm. He said that if I don’t stop what I’m doing, he’ll tell the world about you and me.”

“How can he know?”

“I don’t know. I told Elise and Leo about us, but no one else.”

“What do you know about Leo? Could he have told someone?”

“No. It’s not possible. Leo is as fanatical about Magi rights as the interviewer is against them. Besides, he’s a good friend, not to mention my new brother in law.”

“What’s this guy’s name? I’ll ask around and see what I can dig up about him.”

“Pittser. Frederick Pittser.”

Cynder’s hand went up to his chin. I could still see the faint scars along his jawline where he had been beaten. I wanted nothing more than to kiss them, but I held back.

He got up from the bed and walked over to me. I could feel my heart rate increasing with each step he took. I should have stopped him. I should have said no, but I didn’t.

When he kissed me, I felt like my heart might explode. His kiss was soft and sweet and way too short.

He pulled away leaving me breathless and desperate for more. Even though Luca kissed with such passion, it was nothing compared to the utter abandonment of my senses that Cynder made me feel. When I kissed him, I could feel my blood rushing through my veins, my body more alive than ever before. I never wanted it to end. It also made me feel like the most wretched woman in existence. I pulled back quickly, my rational side taking over a fraction too late.

“This can’t happen. I’m engaged to someone else, someone who will be good for the kingdom.”

“That’s why you are marrying him? Because he’ll be good for the kingdom? What about you? Will he be good for you?”

I looked into his eyes. I could see him searching right into my soul. I wanted to tell him that I loved him only, but what was the point? I’d only end up hurting Luca and destroying the tiny bit of credibility I’d managed to build up among the people. I’d promised myself that Luca was the way forward for me, so why was it so hard to answer Cynder’s question.

Because you are going to have to lie to him, that’s why.

He’s a good man. He cares for me, and I care for him.

“Do you love him?”

“Does it matter? You and I can’t be together. It’s impossible. Luca will help me make Silverwood a better place for the Magi, a better place for you.”

“And I couldn’t, right? I’m just a kitchen hand, and he’s a prince! I get it. You’d be a fool to choose me.”

He brought his wand out and casually flicked it so the broken glass on the floor rearranged itself back into the light bulb it once was. I watched as it rose up and fixed back into place.

“That’s not it at all. You know I don’t care if you are a kitchen hand.”

“But you care that I’m a Mage. Despite all your words to the people of your kingdom, you don’t have the guts to stand up there and tell them about me. You are scared that some interviewer will tell the world and what would it look like? The new queen having an affair with a piece of scum Mage?”

“Stop it!” I cried. “You know that’s not the truth. I made a promise to Luca and to my people. You being a Mage has nothing to do with that. Luca will help me make Silverwood safe again for the Magi. You’ll be able to come home.”

Cynder laughed mirthlessly. “There is nothing for me in Silverwood now. Everything I wanted has gone.”

“I’m sorry. I never expected things to work out this way.”

“I came to say goodbye. I’m happy for you. I’m glad that you are happy. You’ll make a wonderful queen.”

He kissed my cheek and unlocked the door. Without another word, he was gone. The weight of Cynder’s words was etched into my brain, and the feel of his lips would stay burned on my own for a long time to come.