Molly
As I sat on my couch with a blanket tucked around my legs, even Tommy doing his best to console me still didn’t ebb my sadness. Ever since I left Yosemite yesterday, my entire chest ached. The worst part was, I brought this all on myself.
I should have stuck with my gut instinct and not agreed to assist him. Was it easy money? Yes, but at what cost? Deep down I knew that. Nothing good comes easy and what happened proved that point.
“Can I get you anything?” Tommy asked placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “You haven’t moved from this spot in hours. Have you slept? Before I went to bed, you were in this same position.”
“No, I haven’t really been able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes all I can see is Trent having sex with that woman.”
“When you came home, you didn’t want to talk about it. Aside from telling me he didn’t need you anymore, I have no idea what really happened. The last thing you shared was how great things were. Talk to me, Molls. You’re scaring me.”
I loved Tommy, I did. But nothing he could say or do would help. “I’ll be fine.”
My phone vibrated on the coffee table. It had been doing that for hours with text messages from Trent lighting up the screen. The only thing I read was, we need to talk, and failing to reply to any of his messages or calls didn’t deter him in the least.
“Are you going to answer your phone? Do you want me to?”
“No!” I barked causing Tommy to flinch. “I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.” I let out a long breath and looked at him. “Once I tell you this, I don’t want to talk about it again. Agreed?”
Tommy nodded. “Yes, I promise.”
Closing my eyes and praying I could get through this explanation without breaking down in a fit of tears, I said, “Trent said he didn’t need me on set because he wasn’t shooting a sex scene with Raven. I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t pleased about that. We had just spent the most romantic few days together, and I thought it was something special... I thought I was special.” Taking a moment to force down a swallow, I continued. “I received a call saying Trent needed me on set. Not questioning it since I knew the director changed things up all the time, I went.”
With each word I spoke, I felt as though an anvil was lying on my chest. “You need to understand, that seeing him fuck Raven didn’t bother me as much as it should have. Yes, it was terrible especially after I felt a connection with him, but I knew she meant nothing to him... unlike the actress he was having sex with yesterday.”
Images of the way he kissed the tip of her nose, and the way he pulled her into his arms while they were still naked, forced more hot tears to stream down my face. Tommy dabbed my cheeks with a tissue, but they felt numb like the rest of my body.
“He did things to her that I thought were reserved for me. I couldn’t handle it, and I ran out.” I choked back a sob. “I’m not so special after all.”
Tommy pulled me into his arms and hugged me. He didn’t say anything because there was nothing to say. There was no rationalizing what had transpired in front of me. Visions of Trent and his blonde costar were permanently embedded in my brain.
“Can I ask you something without you killing me?” Tommy asked, and I couldn’t help but blurt out a small chuckle.
“What?”
“Did you fall in love with him?”
“How can I love a man who has sex with other women for a living?”
“That doesn’t answer my question, Molls.”
“Yeah, I fell for him, and now I regret not following my instincts.”
In the past, when I had broken up with a guy or they broke up with me, I thought I knew what having your heart broken felt like. But, I was wrong, because after leaving Trent the pain surpassed any I had ever endured.
“This is my fault.” Tommy stood and began to pace the floor. “I shouldn’t have encouraged you to take that job. I honestly thought it would be easy money and fun considering who you had to work with. I never thought there could be consequences or that you’d fall in love with him. I’m sorry.”
“No, this isn’t your fault, and I refuse to allow you to take the blame. This is all on me for believing Trent and I had something real.”
Tommy’s head fell in defeat. “Tell him to quit.”
“I can’t do that. But, I also know that I can’t go on like this.”
“If he was here right now, I’d kick his ass.”
No sooner had Tommy said those words that three knocks sounded on my door. “Molly, it’s me, open up.”
Tears filled my eyes, and I shook my head. “I can’t see him,” I whispered to Tommy before getting up off the couch. My legs felt weak from being in the same position for so long. “I’m sorry to do this to you, but I’m going to my room.”
“I’ll handle him.” Tommy kissed my cheek and waited for me to disappear before dealing with Trent.
Rather than eavesdrop, I should have curled up on my bed, but I couldn’t resist. Tommy’s muffled voice carried through the six-paneled door. “No, you can’t see her... I don’t care what you need to say, she doesn’t want anything to do with you.”
“Molly!” Trent yelled so loud I jumped away from my door but not far enough where I couldn’t hear him. “Talk to me, Molly! I’m not leaving until you talk to me!”
There was a bit of scuffling, and I prayed Tommy didn’t take a swing or worse, Trent hitting him. I knew I should just handle this like a grownup and stop hiding. With a shaky hand, I turned the knob and stepped out.
As soon as Trent saw me, he shoved Tommy aside and headed my way. “You left me.”
Those three words gutted me. I didn’t leave him, he left me. As soon as he treated that actress like someone he cared for, he was gone. My entire face tingled in a futile attempt to hold back tears that threatened to burst from my eyes.
Physical pain ripped through my body. Just seeing him standing in my living room with a look of anguish on his face didn’t help my disposition. I was a woman divided. My brain wanted him to hurt as much as I did, but my heart wanted me to run into his arms and rewind the last twenty-four hours.
“I’ve been calling and calling you. I left text message after text message. I had no idea where you went or if you got there safely. I’ve been worried sick. Jerry had a mandatory post-production meeting as he does after every film, or I would have been here sooner.”
All I could do was stare at him. Truth be told, I barely saw him through my bloodshot eyes, which was probably a good thing. Finally, I found the words I needed to say. “I want you to leave.”
Trent ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Not until you tell me what the hell happened.”
Fury decided to overcome my despair. “You happened.” Tommy moved to stand next to me giving me the silent strength to continue. “Do you know what it was like for me yesterday? Seeing you dote on your newest costar?”
“Trina? She’s a friend in the industry. What does she have to do with this?” He truly looked baffled at my comment, which stung even more. How could he not see how I saw things between them?
“Everything. What do you want to hear? It’s me, not you? Would that make you feel better? Because if I need to say that for you to forget the last three weeks, I will.”
Trent took a step toward me and rather than taking one backward, I held my ground. “Forget? Is that what you really want? You knew my job was to be with other women, but it isn’t real. You’ve been on set enough times to understand that. The sex means nothing.”
“You kissed the tip of her nose, you held her like you did me. So, if that meant nothing does that mean I didn’t either?”
“Of course not. You mean...”
“Did you know that scene was added with Trina?” I asked, cutting him off.
His large hand grabbed at the back of his neck while his eyes avoided mine. “It’s not out of the ordinary, Molly. It didn’t occur to me that you’d be upset by it.”
I wasn’t getting through to him regarding my point. Deciding to cut to the quick, I then asked, “Tell me, have you fucked her off camera?” He hesitated long enough for me to have the answer. “Go. We’re not right for each other. Please leave.”
The muscle in Trent’s jaw ticked. “You don’t mean that.”
“The lady spoke.” Tommy stood spine straight and eye-to-eye with Trent. “Leave, or I’ll show you out myself.”
He turned and started for the door. Trent reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a piece of paper. Looking back at me, he said, “Here’s your paycheck.” He dropped it on the small table next to the sofa. “For the record, Trina and I are just friends, and she means nothing to me in the romantic sense. But you do. I love you, Molly.”
The moment the door clicked closed behind him, my knees gave way, and if Tommy wasn’t next to me I would have fallen to the floor. He scooped me up, carried me into my room, and set me on my bed. Tommy then laid down before pulling me into his arms as sobs wracked my body.
Trent was the first man to tell me he loved me. The first man I wanted to say it back to. And the first man that I knew I couldn’t allow myself to love back.