CHAPTER SIX

WILLOW

Everything is just as I had remembered...and yet, nothing is the same.

Heavy iron gates curve out from grey stone pillars with lantern tops, opening to reveal a long driveway flanked by massive oak trees.

As we near the house the gardens come into view, my breath catching at the sight. Time cannot erase the beauty of this incredible place.

Even though the gardens hold most of my secrets, seeing them again makes my heart a little lighter. Which is the complete opposite of the reaction I expected to have. Maybe it’s because Drew is here, and I can’t wait to show him where I spent most of my childhood. A place we hadn’t been able to visit before now. A place I wasn’t sure if he would ever see.

I rid my mind of the unpleasant thoughts and focus on doing some sketching while Drew explores the hidden most parts of the gardens.

The elegance of the stone, the softness of the flora and fauna. It’s been well tended in Wendy’s absence from what I’m able to observe from the back of the car.

I feel Piers’ heated gaze. A quick glance in his direction confirms he’s watching me as I gaze upon the place that was my refuge in my childhood.

The gardens that hold so many of my favorite memories and even more of my secrets. My eyes drift down to the sleeping boy whose head is nestled in my lap. I run my hand though his hair and take a deep breath before speaking softly to him. “Drew, time to wake up, sleepyhead.” He stirs and snuggles deeper into me.

“Let him sleep. I’ll carry him in; no need to wake the lad,” Piers says while looking thoughtfully at Drew.

“But he won’t want to miss—” I start to argue but bite my tongue, turning my attention back out the window.

When I look at the house, I’m struck by how it feels like it’s been frozen in time. It’s been here well over 100 years, so it’s not like I expected it to have crumbled. But seeing it now, after five years away, it’s as if I just walked out those doors yesterday.

I sit up a little taller in my seat to get a better look as Piers’ driver pulls in front of the main entrance.

Anna, the housekeeper and my nanny when younger, stands on the porch smiling, waving a handkerchief. Standing next to her, looking as stuffy as ever, is old Mr. Roderick, the groundskeeper.

I lift my arm to wave then drop it back down, realizing it’s no use behind these tinted windows. The movement causes Drew to wake and lift his sleeping head. After all the excitement on the plane, I’m glad he was able to get a quick nap in.

“Are we there yet, Mum,” he asks, his drowsy voice quickly transitioning to wide awake mode.

“Yes, dear.” He unbuckles after I nod that it’s okay and climbs across my lap to press his face to the window to see.

“Wow!” he exclaims. “You didn’t tell me you grew up in a proper castle!”

Smiling, I ruffle his hair. If he only knew the dragons I would have to slay while here.

Before Piers or his driver can exit the car and open the door, it’s being pulled open by an excited Anna.

“Ms. Willow! My, my, my!!! Look here would you?” She says, pulling me from the car and into a warm hug. My arms wrap around her in response, and I hug her back, relishing the comfort of her embrace.

“Anna, it’s so good to see you,” I say as we step apart. “Everything looks amazing as usual,” I add as I extend my hand to Mr. Roderick.

“Well, it should. The list this woman gives me daily is enough to—” he starts in.

“Shhhh! Hush now, Chester.” Anna swats at him. “That’s no way to greet the mistress of the house after such a long journey.”

Her gaze quickly finds mine when we both realize that she just called me the mistress of the house. A sadness overcomes me. Wendy should be here, she’s the mistress of the house not me. Now that we’re here, I feel like I’m six years old again and seeing it for the first time. I need this to be my sanctuary, not my responsibility.

“Oh, Willow, dear. I’m so sorry love. I didn’t think.” She fumbles for words to bring comfort. But only time can heal that hurt.

“No apology necessary.” I reassure her as Drew bounces excitedly next to me.

“And who might this strapping young lad be? Why the one and only Drew I suspect.” She pinches Drew’s cheek lightly and smiles at him. “I’ve heard you like chocolate chip cookies?”

“Hello, ma’am. I’m called Drew. It’s lovely to meet you.” Drew extends his hand. “And, chocolate chip is my favorite!” I look up and catch Piers smiling at the exchange. He doesn’t see me looking, and I’m thankful. Because for the briefest of moments, his smile stays intact and doesn’t disappear like it does when he looks at me.

“Well, listen to him!” Anna laughs. “It’s nearly tea time. Let’s see about finding you some biscuits. Come on then.”

Drew giggles and looks to me. I nod, and he happily follows after Anna into the house.

Mr. Roderick helps the driver carry in the luggage then disappears around the side of the house, and the driver gets back in the car, leaving us alone on the landing. Neither of us knowing what to say.

§

PIERS

She fidgets around before clearing her throat, “Piers, I—”

“We don’t have to do this Willow, not now,” I tell her.

“But I thought, well, shouldn’t we talk about…” She worries her lip, and I want to comfort her. But I can’t...not here...not now. Not when my feelings are all over the place. And I’m sure she is just as confused about how to handle this. To handle us.

“I know being here is hard enough,” I say and she nods quietly.

Just having you here is enough. Is what I want to say...what I should say.

“You get settled in, and we will talk tomorrow. I’ll call to set up an appointment with Mr. Barrington for later this week,” I offer before retreating down the stairs.

“You’re not staying?” she calls after me. When I look over my shoulder, I see that we’re both surprised at her question.

Shaking my head, I tell her, “I need to get back to my flat downtown, and then I need to check in at the office.” More like drown myself in work. It’s either that or drink.

“Okay,” she says hesitantly before turning to go inside as I climb into the waiting car that takes me in the opposite direction of where I really want to be.

Down the long drive, I pass through the gates, heading back to my carefully constructed world where I control everything. Where I know the rules because I make them. Away from this unchartered territory and the scent of vanilla that makes it hard for me to focus. Away from my past, away from a family that’s not mine. Not yet anyway.