CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

PIERS

“Willow.” I say her name once more, rousing her from a dream. She struggles before relaxing into my hold and opening her eyes.

“Piers?” Her voice is raspy with the remnants of slumber as she focuses her eyes on me.

“Yes, Willow. It’s me, Piers. I’m here.” I climb into the bed, sitting next her. I’ll always be here.

Her gaze shifts around the room, taking in the candles. She sits up, putting her back against the ornate wooden headboard and a little space between us. She’s quiet, and her eyes look everywhere but mine, so I tell her a story. The truth.

“I used to sneak into your room at night.” This gets her attention. She watches me but doesn’t say anything. “I would climb the trellis under your window and come in to watch you sleep.”

“Why not just walk down the hall and through the door?” She whispers, a hint of a smile on her lips.

“Now where is the fun in that? The sense of adventure?” I tease her. “How could I slay your dragons if I didn’t climb your tower?” My hands reach out to take hold of one of hers, and a sigh of relief leaves my lips as she lets me. “Plus it was locked; I checked.” She bites her lip, struggling to keep hold of a smile.

“But, I would sit in this room. Sometimes I stayed at the window, afraid to get too close, afraid to touch you, just watching the moonlight illuminate your porcelain skin. On those nights, I was sure you were in fact an angel, and I would pray to you. I was certain you must journey back to heaven in your dreams, up beyond the clouds and farther than the stars. So I would send messages to my dad with you. Tell him about my day, how much I missed him. Tell him about you.” She has tears in her eyes now, but she remains still and quiet, so I continue before I lose my nerve.

“Other nights, I would dare to get closer and sit at the foot of your bed, heart pounding at the thought that James might come in and find me, send me away. But the risk to be near you was worth it. I needed to study your face, memorize you in case you left me too.” My heart beats heavy in my chest, and I struggle to prevent my voice from shaking.

“So I touched your cheek and held your hand, careful not to wake you. I couldn’t do it in the day because the others might see. They might’ve teased me or known how much I needed you. And that was dangerous because at a young age, I learned if someone knew something was valuable to you, if they knew your weakness, they could exploit you, hurt you with the thing that you loved the most.” She blinks, and her tears fall as I pour out my heart in an attempt to make her understand.

“Little did I know, James could see it. And the older we got, the more obvious it became, not just my feelings for you but your feelings for me. They all saw it. James, Wendy, Scarlett, Teddy, everyone. By that time, we had pledged ourselves to one another, and it didn’t matter; we were going to be together. Then everything went wrong. But then it happened…you left.”

She chokes out a sob, and I pull her to me, cradling her face in my hands. “I’m not saying this to make you sad. I need you to know that I worshipped you as a boy before love and lust and all those other feelings took up residence in my mind and body. I loved you innocently in my heart. You were my friend. You became my first love, my only love.” My eyes gaze into hers, my thumbs caressing her tear stained cheekbones.

“I know you’re scared. I am too. I need you to understand if we go forward, it has to be forever. I can’t risk losing you again. When I lose you, I lose myself, and I’m a million times more lost than I was before.”

“Out there in the garden, I was a man consumed by a woman. I needed your touch more than my next breath. When you said there had been no one else, I hated myself for being so careless with you and for knowing I didn’t have the same gift of innocence to return to you. You were feeling insecure, but it’s me who’s not worthy, Willow. Me.”

“Shhh.” She wraps the sheet around her and climbs into my lap, and I look at her, needing to say it all now. Before we go forward.

“Knowing I was the only one to ever touch you pleases me more than you could imagine. I handled it all wrong. I just needed a second to think, to catch my breath, to get my desire under control. But you left before I could explain.” She rests her forehead against mine, and drapes her arms around my neck.

The sheet falls down around her waist between us. I feel her bare chest pressed against mine, lighting my body on fire, but my eyes never leave hers. “Then I came up here, determined to take it slow, to worship your body...and I saw you standing there in that window, the moonlight on your skin, tears on your face. I just wanted to make you mine. To ingrain myself on you, in you, the way you are in me. And once again, I lost control. I’m sorry, but I’m even more sorry that it made you doubt how much I desire you.”

“I want you too much, Willow. I always have. And I’m afraid once I take you, there will be no going back. I’m tired of climbing towers to get to you, I want to stay in the tower, locked away with you. In some ways I’ve stayed locked in this tower, in this very room at Everlend, waiting, hoping, that maybe you would come rescue me. And you have.” My hands move to her hips, drawing her closer to me before moving up, along her rib cage, until my thumbs barely brush the underside of her breasts. Her lips part just slightly, and she moves against me. “Don’t leave me here Willow. Please, don’t leave me again. Either stay locked up with me, or take me with you.”

My lips hover over hers, trembling. “Like my note said after that night in the garden...like the story says, about waiting. In the place between sleep and awake? That’s where I’ve been, Willow. Since you left. I’ve been waiting here, waiting for you.”

Her mouth closes the distance, pressing to mine. “Take me, Piers.” She whispers the words in between kisses. “I’m yours. I always have been. I always will be. Gardens or towers, raindrops or candlelight, soft and slow or losing control, I don’t care. As long as I’m with you. I love you. I never stopped.” Her head angles up toward me, and I take control, deepening the kiss.

Gripping her hips, I shift and lay her back on the bed, her creamy skin glowing with candlelight. I take a minute and just drink her in – arms open at her sides, her thighs falling open for me, lips swollen from my kisses. She’s naked before me, but it’s me who feels exposed. Moving back, I stand and remove my tux pants and my boxers before climbing back onto the edge of the bed. Our eyes lock on one another.

Starting at her feet, I trace my fingertips up her soles, around her ankles. Taking my time, climbing between her legs, my fingertips caress her calves and gently scrape the back of her knees. Her legs fall open wider, and my aching flesh is pressed up against hers.

My hands continue their journey, around her hips, across her navel and up her ribs. Committing her to memory but not because I’m afraid of losing her. Only so I can see this, feel this, when I close my eyes. My hands palm her breasts, heavier than the last time I touched them while making love, having nursed our son. I notice her hips are fuller too, and she has some tiny white lines on her abdomen, evidence of having carried a child, giving life, making me a father. Making us a family.

Her body has never looked more perfect. Breaking eye contact, I lower my mouth and trace the tiny lines with my tongue. She shivers against my mouth, and her body moves against mine. My erection is now throbbing and pressed at her entrance. But, I’m not done worshipping her with my hands just yet.

Moving past her breast, my palms massage her shoulders and neck while my mouth finds her breast, and I swirl my tongue over the tight buds, one then the other. She moans with pleasure, and my hips buck into her. Looking up, I see her with her wild red hair splayed on the pillow around her as she’s watching me. I kiss my way up her chest, across her collar bone and around her neck. Wet opened-mouth kisses, teasing her, devouring her. Her taste is addicting and her scent intoxicating.

When my mouth finally finds hers again, she’s quivering beneath me. I could spend hours more kissing her, making love to her with my mouth and my hands, but I need to be inside her. Drawing back, so our eyes remained connected, I tell her the words that have been hanging on the tip of my tongue since I saw her again. “I love you, Willow.” And with that I allow myself to gently slide between her wet folds, sinking into her and a pleasure that is unimaginable. She moans out as I begin to move, and she matches my pace. Her head falls back, and I close my eyes and worship her body with my own. And when I do, I can see her eyes looking at me with love.

I lose all sense of time as we lay wrapped up in each other making love slow and gently. I feel her shudder beneath me, and I know that she’s close. Picking up the pace, I take her where she needs to be. When she explodes around me, crying out my name into the quiet night, I can barely contain myself.

“Piers!”

I follow, my own orgasm on the heels of hers. I pour everything I have into her as she wraps her legs around me, pulling me closer. I lose myself in her. It’s very different from being lost without her. I never want to be found.