I'd never thought that Ben would come on to me again. But what surprised me most was that I turned him down. I'd dreamed of having another chance with him, hell, I'd even asked him for it. When it came down to it, though, I knew it wasn't a good idea. Not like this. Not while I didn't even know if the only reason he was asking was some out of whack alpha instinct the baby stirred in him. I didn't want to break up with him again once I wasn't pregnant anymore and he came to his senses. No thank you. Better to be single all along.

Even if that meant that people stared at me as I walked through the supermarket. I swear, some of the alphas looked at me the same way they looked at the beef steaks on display in the meat section. Fuck them, I needed to stock up on food. I'd told Ben I didn't get any weird food cravings, but pickles sounded really good right about now. Pickles with ketchup maybe. I knew I should be grossed out by that idea, but in my head, it sounded perfect. And maybe I'd have some peanut butter ice cream afterward. So what if the cashier would think my food choices questionable? Everyone was already talking anyway.

In some way, having my reputation ruined was incredibly liberating.

Who would have thought?

I'd almost made it to check-out when my phone rang. I might have ignored it if I hadn't seen Ben's name flash up on the display. What could he want? Was he up for another movie night?

"What's up?" I said, answering the phone.

Ben sounded harried. I hadn't heard him like that in long time. Not since he'd decided to cut ties with his parents. "There's something wrong with the dog," he said.

"What do you mean? What happened?" In my mind, I was already calculating how long it would take me to get over to get over to Ben's place. If I hurried, I could make it in twenty minutes.

"Remember how tired he was last night? He was still like that this morning and he wouldn’t eat, so I figured I'd call the vet and he made me come in, even though it's a Sunday, I mean, I knew something was wrong then, you know?"

"Breathe, Ben," I said, even while concern was winding its way around my own heart. I didn't want anything to happen to Cooper. He was the sweetest little dog ever. He didn't deserve anything happening to him.

"The vet's keeping him overnight," Ben continued.

I cringed. That sounded bad. "I'm at the supermarket right now, but I'll come over to your place, okay?" Even as I was speaking, I went up to the shelves and threw some easy to heat up chicken soup into my cart. I doubted my friend was in the mood to cook tonight.

"Okay. Thank you."

Ben hung up, and I hurried to finish my shopping and get to him. He shouldn't be alone while his dog was so sick. I stowed my groceries in my bag pack and jumped on my bike. Thankfully, Ben didn't live far from the supermarket. Not that anything in this small town was ever really far away.

When I got to his place, he was already waiting by the front door, sitting on the front steps of his porch, head in his hands. Immediately, my heart went out to him. I hadn't seen my friend like this in a long time. When I parked the bike, he looked up.

"That was fast!" he said.

"I probably broke a few traffic rules getting here," I joked, approaching him. "Wanna head inside?" The temperatures were rising lately, but it still wasn't warm enough to be sitting outside for extended periods of time. Especially now that the sun was setting. Besides, the neighbors didn't need to see him break down. It was enough that my reputation was ruined.

"Yeah. I guess we can do that."

"Sure we can." Taking his hand, I led him into the living room. "You want to tell me what happened?" I asked as we sat down, side by side.

"I should have taken him in yesterday. I feel terrible. This is all my fault."

"Is that what the vet said?" I stroked my thumb over the back of his hand, trying to ground him. It was what he would have done for me. We took care of each other, it's what we did.

"No, he didn't say that. Not in so many words." Ben sighed. "It's parvo, Robin. Can you believe it's parvo? I got him vaccinated against that shit. Apparently that doesn't always help. I need to sanitize this place before Cooper comes back."

"I'll help you," I promised. I didn't really know what parvo was, but it sounded bad. "What else did the vet say?"

"He said that..." Ben's voice broke. Instinctively, I wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"It's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

He shook his head. "No. You deserve to know. You love Cooper too."

I did, but it broke my heart to see Ben hurt. Rubbing his back, I frantically searched my mind for ways to make him feel better. When we were kids, I'd mostly taken care of his physical scrapes and bruises. He rarely opened up emotionally. If I were to sit down and count, he'd really only done it twice while we were still in school. The first time he'd broken down on me, telling me how he couldn't stand to see his omega dad get hurt anymore... that was also the first time I kissed him.

That had worked to distract him. But I couldn't kiss him now.

Before I could come to a decision about what to do, Ben spoke on. "The vet said if he makes it through the night, he'll probably be fine, but it's a fifty-fifty thing."

I swallowed. That was even worse than I'd expected when Ben mentioned Cooper staying with the vet. "I'm so sorry. I'm sure he'll be fine." I pressed a kiss to the side of Ben's forehead. The best I could do right now.

Ben only stared blankly at nothing in particular. "I thought I could maybe..." he started and stopped again.

"You thought you could what, sunshine?" I asked, curling a finger in the hair in the nape of his neck. The old pet name slipped off my tongue before I noticed. Oh well. Just because we weren't a couple anymore didn't mean I didn't still love him. This was not the time to freak out over little things like that.

"I thought I could..." He shook his head and sat up straight, finally looking at me. "I thought maybe I could be a parent after all, but I can't even parent a fucking dog. What if it was our baby, Robin? What if I killed our baby?" Ben's voice shook and my heart shattered into so many pieces I was afraid I'd never be able to put it back together again.

"Oh, Ben. You would never do that." I threw my arms around his neck and burrowed into his shoulder. "If it was our baby, you would do whatever you could to keep him safe. The same as you're doing for Cooper. He got sick, but that's not your fault. You took him to the vet, didn't you? You gave him a chance." I kissed his hair. "Don't you know you're the only person I would trust one hundred percent with my baby?" It was the truth. Ben was the most caring alpha I knew. I only wished he could see that.

"You mean it?"

I'd never seen Ben so vulnerable. The sight almost made me want to cry. Damn pregnancy hormones. "Of course I do." I took his hand and placed it on my belly. "Can you feel him move? Our Christmas miracle. That's your kid. If you want him."

Ben looked as if he was about to choke up. He made as if to withdraw his hand, but I strengthened my grip. The baby moved, and Ben's eyes grew wide. At this stage, whatever he felt with his hand on my belly must have been pretty faint, but it was enough to shock him anyway. I gave him a smile. "Incredible, isn't it? And growing stronger every day. This kid is not as fragile as you might think. He's me and you, and you know what we are?"

Ben shook his head, still speechless, his eyes fixed on mine.

"We're survivors. And you know what we're not?"

Another shake of the head. I gave him a quick kiss, just enough to satisfy that craving for connection in me. "We're not, and we will never be, our parents. I could never walk away from my baby." The thought alone made my skin crawl in the worst way. "And you'll never lay a finger on yours. Or me."

"You can't know that," Ben said, even though he sounded like he wanted nothing more than to believe me.

I laid a finger on his lips. "Of course I know. Because I know you. You're the kid who tried to fold a thousand paper cranes for the new kid in middle school. You couldn't hurt anyone." I kissed him again, longer this time, feeling like I could finally reach that part of him he'd kept hidden from me and the rest of the world before. I saw the scared boy behind the alpha who constantly worried about the wellbeing of everyone he loved.

And then I knew what I needed to do. I stroked a hand through his dark locks. "You want to come to my place with me? There's something I gotta do, and I'd like your help with it."

"Whatever you need," he said, looking slightly dazed. I gave him the smallest smile. It was nice to know my lips still had that kind of effect on him.

"You okay to drive?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." He rubbed his face. "It's only a short drive."

"Okay, then let's get going." I rose from the couch and he followed me. I took his hand again, leading the way and hoping that my plan would work.

But I was feeling pretty confident.