Chapter 15: That One Time Kevin Was Possessed

 

 

THE FEAST Vadoma threw in our honor was held in a massive square in the middle of Mashallaha, strings of large paper lanterns stretching out above us. The night air was warm, and the palm trees swayed. People were laughing and shouting, well into their cups by the time I arrived.

I hadn’t seen Ryan when I’d gotten back to Vadoma’s. He wasn’t in the room that we’d been given for the duration of our stay, though our bags were placed at the foot of the bed. Tiggy had said he’d gone off with Kevin to check out the rest of the city. I knew he’d made it seem like he was sightseeing, but as was ingrained in him as a knight, he was most likely running the perimeter, fanning out in circles around Vadoma’s, memorizing every path in and out in case we needed to escape. Strangely enough, that happened to us quite a lot, so I didn’t blame him for doing it.

But I also knew he was avoiding me. Or rather, letting me avoid him. We were assholes like that.

There had been clothes left for me on the foot of the bed. They were soft and brightly colored, the material thinner than what I was used to. The dark green vest had a hood attached, which Gary made me pull up and over my head. “It’ll make you look more mysterious like a wizard should be,” he’d said. “And not like you’re some seventeen-year-old apprentice twink.”

“I’m not a godsdamned twink—”

“Isn’t it funny how the louder you get, the less I listen to you? I wonder why that is.”

The trousers sat low on my hips, held up by a black sash tied around my waist.

“It’s a good thing you manscape,” Gary said approvingly. “Don’t need no man bush trying to crawl out the waistband and scaring the locals.”

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. “I look like I work at a brothel in Meridian City.”

“Yes, how about that. Tiggy! Hold him still just like we planned!”

“Wait, what? Tiggy, don’t you fucking—”

Tiggy came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, then fell back until he sat on the bed. The frame groaned at the weight but didn’t collapse. My arms were trapped at my sides, and my legs were held between his. And it was about that time that I noticed Gary carried a makeup brush between his teeth, a determined look on his face.

“I will curse the both of you,” I snarled at him. “I’m not a girl. I don’t need makeup.”

“Boys can wear makeup,” Tiggy said. “Not just for women. That a social construct.”

I tilted my head back to gape at him.

He shrugged and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

“You are the wisest half-giant I have ever known,” I said reverently.

He was pleased at this, even if he was the only half-giant I had ever known. He was still pretty fucking wise.

“Fine,” I said, looking back at Gary. “But I expect to look like a high-class working girl, not one of those that looks like they work the docks at the Port. You hear me?”

Gary rolled his eyes before descending upon me.

“Okay,” I said when they’d let me up again so I could look in the mirror. “I would totally pay to have sex with me, oh my gods. Why don’t I wear this all the time? I look epic!”

And I did. He’d used the eye shadow sparingly, just enough to create a smoky look around my eyes, almost like I was wearing a mask. Coupled with the hood over my head, the vest opened against my chest, I looked like I could fight crime and get nailed by businessmen, all in the same day. It was glorious.

“Ryan’s gonna get such a boner over me,” I breathed. And maybe then we could stop fighting and fuck around.

“Ugh,” Gary said. “There are just some things you don’t want to hear from your older sister.”

“I am not your fucking older sister, you asswipe. You have decades on me. And not to mention that I have to hear about your shit all the godsdamned time!”

“Well, yes,” he said, arching his evil eyebrow at me. “But I’m the unicorn equivalent of a princess. There’s a difference.”

And I really couldn’t argue with that.

And so there I was, looking like an expensive whore, standing in the center square of the desert city, the stars shining down on me, a unicorn with painted-on eyebrows to my right and a half-giant on my left.

Needless to say, we entered that feast like fucking badasses.

Well. Mostly. People did stop and stare at us, so I figured we must have been at least a little mysterious. It probably helped that the gods decided to bless me right at that moment and send a breeze to wash over me, causing my vest and trousers to billow slightly.

“Why are you walking like you’re in slow motion?” Gary hissed at me.

“Because it fucking looks cool,” I hissed back.

“You look like you’re having a stroke!”

“No, I don’t! I look like I run through the city at night, taking out bad guys while having sex with high-powered executives during the day for tons of money.”

“That’s… huh. Okay. I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“Right. Just go with it.”

“Okay, I can work with this.”

And then he tossed his mane back, eyelashes fluttering, the air beginning to shimmer around him in green and blue sparkles. He snorted heavily, more sparks shooting from his nose.

“Oooh,” the crowd said.

“You need to strut more,” Gary whispered to me.

“I know how to strut!”

“That not strutting,” Tiggy said. “This strutting.” And then he proceeded to strut far better than a being his size ever had any right to. His hips rolled, and he looked like he was made up of large piles of bitchy sass.

“Ahhh,” the crowd said.

“I taught him how to do that,” Gary said fondly.

“I want the crowd to make noises at me,” I said. “Move, it’s my turn.” I shoved my way past Gary, ready to be appreciated and—

“I don’t know that you could be any more ridiculous than you are right now,” a voice said near my ear, which, of course, caused me to squeak, trip over my own feet, and fall face-first onto the ground.

There was silence. Then someone in the crowd shouted, “Thank the gods he’s the chosen one! I know I sure feel safe now!”

I rolled over onto my back and glared up at Ryan Foxheart, who stood above me, hands on his hips, head cocked as he peered down at me. “Okay, I take that back,” he said. “You could look more ridiculous. I’m impressed.”

I scowled at him but accepted his hand when he reached down for me. I momentarily forgot that we were fighting when I saw he was similarly dressed as I was, but his vest was stretched much tighter across his frame, and he had chest hair that I wanted to just bury my face in.

“I want to paddleboat your boobs,” I told him, staring at his pecs.

He sighed. “So you’ve told me before. And so you’ve done before, even though I threatened to never let you touch me again.”

“It was totally worth it,” I said. “You’ve get a nice rack. Good job with that whole… thing.”

“You objectifying me, Sam of Wilds?”

I leered at him as the music began to pick up around us again. “Is it working?”

He grimaced. “It was until you made that face. How many times have I told you can’t make that face around other people? They’ll think you’re coming to take their children away.”

“Sam’s sexy face is scary,” Tiggy said to Gary. “Run! It scary Sam!”

“He tries so hard,” Gary said. “Too hard, really.”

“I’m not objectifying you,” I said, even though I totally was. “I respect your autonomy and your right to not have me paddleboat your boobs.”

He snorted. “Bullshit you do.”

Now that we’d gotten that out of the way, I glared at him. “I’m still mad at you.”

“I can tell. I’m still upset with you, if it makes you feel any better.”

It really didn’t. I deflated slightly. “We need to talk.”

“We do.”

And he agreed to that way too easily. “But not like the breakup we need to talk,” I said quickly. “But the we’ve got to talk that means open communication and words and then some really awesome makeup sex. Right?”

He rolled his eyes, but his hand found his way to the back of my neck, squeezing as he pulled me close. My bare chest pressed against his as he leaned in and laid a filthy kiss upon my lips, more tongue than was probably warranted. Not that I was complaining.

“Yes, Sam,” he said, murmuring against me. “That kind of talk.” He kissed me again, slow and sweet.

I sagged against him slightly in relief. “Good. I’m sorry I acted like a douchebag. I love your face. I’ve also got a boner right now that I really don’t know what to do with, seeing as how we’re in public.”

He chuckled. “And I’m sorry I acted like an ass. I love you too. Also, I can feel your boner.”

“I love love,” Tiggy sighed behind us.

“Gods, they’re just sickening,” Gary muttered. “I hate it when people act like that.”

“Seriously,” Kevin rumbled. “I’m so glad we’re broken up now so I don’t have to be a part of a loving couple anymore. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Me too,” Gary said. “It’s so much better like this.”

“Right,” Kevin said. “Even if it’s our boy in love that we have to watch.”

“Even if,” Gary said wistfully.

“Maybe they should just rub each other a little bit,” Kevin suggested. “You know? I mean, they’re already there, they might as well, right? Just do it, right? Just start rubbing—”

“And the erection’s gone,” I said, stepping away from Ryan. “That’s much better.”

Ryan did this complicated motion with his eyebrows. “I don’t know if that’s better.”

Gods, he looked awesome when he pouted.

And I was about to tell him as much when a cheer went up over the crowd, rolling through it like a wave. We were stuck somewhere in the middle of it, and I couldn’t help but notice the people of Mashallaha had formed a circle around us, but keeping their distance. I didn’t know if it was fear of us or dismay at the sight of us that kept them as they were. I didn’t know that it mattered. These were the people of Verania, my people for all intents and purposes, yet I’d never felt so far from home before in my life. It was good that I had Ryan next to me. Tiggy and Gary and Kevin at my back. I thought maybe I could do this without them. I just didn’t want to.

But the people weren’t focused on us. They were cheering for Vadoma.

She stood on a raised wooden platform, the eyes of her people all on her. She looked beautiful under the lights, younger than she actually was. I wondered just how old she was and who my mother’s father had been, as my mother had never known. Or so she said. But regardless of what I thought of Vadoma, I could see my mother in her. I could see myself in her. It unsettled me more than I cared to admit.

Ruv, the Wolf, stood at her side.

“Oh,” I said to Ryan in a low voice. “That reminds me. Ruv won’t be trying to get up in my business anymore. He knows you’re my one and only.”

“Or so he says,” Ryan muttered. “For all we know, it’s part of his diabolical plot to get in your good graces and then bam! His legs are over your shoulders and you won’t even know how you got there.”

“Nah,” I said. “It’s only your legs over my shoulders that I care about.”

Gary sniffed. “That was really sweet.”

Ryan thought so too, but since he was a man, he had to cover it up by scowling at me. Which was okay, because I knew.

The noise of the crowd around us crescendoed until it was nearly earsplitting. But the moment Vadoma raised her hands toward them, palms down, they quieted as if they hadn’t been screaming at all.

Except for Tiggy.

“GWAAAAaaahh…,” he said before looking around at everyone staring at him. “Oh. No more yelling?” He nodded. “No more yelling.”

“People of Mashallaha,” Vadoma said, voice ringing out over the crowd. “Honored guests. Tonight, I bring to you tidings of great joy.”

Her people cheered again.

“More yelling!” Tiggy yelled.

“Why is she speaking in Veranian?” Ryan muttered in my ear. “Most everyone here is a gypsy.”

He had a point. “Maybe it’s for our benefit?”

“Does she seem like the type to do anything for our benefit?” Ryan asked, which, fair point. But he hadn’t seen the flowers that still stood where my mother had been raised. Maybe that was all bullshit designed to sell me on the idea of the gypsy clan, but I thought not.

So I said, “I don’t know,” and it was the truth.

“Many of you have heard that I traveled far from Mashallaha,” she said. “Out of the Luri Desert and into the green lands. The Dark Woods stand as they always have, swallowing the heart of Verania in gnarled roots that dig deep into the earth.”

“Couldn’t she have just said there was a big fat forest in the middle of everything?” Gary muttered.

“This fancier,” Tiggy said, looking enthralled, as if he’d never stood inside the damn Dark Woods a day in his life.

“I entered the City of Lockes,” she said, “and stood before our King. I told him of the power of sight, of what was shown to me as having been written in the stars. I warned the King to take heed of my words. That there are only shadows when darkness begins to cover the light.”

“Ooh,” Gary said. “I get it now. That sounded ominous and scary and wicked cool.”

“You don’t have to give commentary for everything,” I reminded him.

He looked scandalized. “Of course I do. That’s how you know we’re having fun.”

No one paid us any mind. They were all under the spell of my grandmother. She reminded me briefly of a woman who had fed her followers corn mixed with truth serum, and I shuddered at the thought. I hadn’t been able to look at corn since without feeling the need to blurt out secrets. It was a terrible affliction.

“And the King bestowed upon me a great gift,” Vadoma said. “My grandson. The wizard Sam of Wilds, who is here to save Verania.”

Everyone turned slowly to stare at me, even as Gary coughed, “Apprentice,” as loudly as he could.

I gave everyone two thumbs-up like the cool cat that I was. “Heyyy,” I said. “What is up, y’all?”

“So awkward,” Gary whispered to Tiggy.

No one gave me a thumbs-up back. Apparently Mashallaha was completely inhabited by people who didn’t know cool even if it jerked off on their face. Good to know.

“And I’m not a gift,” I added quickly, just because it needed to be said. And because I always had the incessant urge to fill the silence. “Think of me as being on loan. Or not even that, because I’m not a thing. I’m a person. I came here because my grandma bad-touched me in the hallway and made me have visions of stuff.”

“You might want to stop talking now,” Ryan said through gritted teeth.

“Yep,” I said. “Good idea. Back to you, Grandma!”

The silence was deafening. But then, the silence usually was when it pertained to me. I was used to it.

Vadoma didn’t look affected. She was very good. “The star dragon has spoken! He has used me as his vessel to spread the word of the man in shadows that threatens our very existence. We must take his words of warning as truth. If we do not, we risk being swallowed into the dark, along with the rest of Verania.”

“Not that that’s going to happen,” I spoke up, because fuck her for trying to instill fear in people. “Because I’m going to gather the dragons of Verania and kick some motherfucking villain ass. You’ll see. I got this.” I grinned rakishly at them. “I’m Sam of Wilds.”

“And how do you plan on gathering the dragons?” a voice called out.

The entire crowd turned to face me again.

I grinned less rakishly. “Um. What?”

“The dragons. How do you plan on gathering the dragons? You do have a plan, right?”

“Oh,” I said. “Well. Um. You see. It’s not that simple. But it’s not that complicated either! I swear. I mean, I already got one after all. See?” I pointed my thumb over my shoulder at Kevin.

They all looked up at him.

Kevin preened. He tapped his chest with a fist and cleared his throat. “Hello, my dutiful subjects. I am the Lord Dragon, here to taketh your shinies and your virginities—”

“Exactly,” I said loudly, stopping that before it could start again. “So. One down, four to go, right? And I got him with no troubles, so how hard can it be?”

“Sam,” Kevin hissed at me. “You’re making me sound as if I was easy.”

“You sort of were,” Gary said. “I just had to flutter my eyes at you and you were gone.”

“This is pretty much true,” Kevin said. “But! I am my own dragon now, single and ready to mingle! Maybe I’ll find some nice young thing here to take back to my keep. I’ve done it before. And this time, there won’t be any pesky wizard telling me I can’t take my hoard with me! How about it? Is there a fit gypsy man with abs who would like to punch my junk?”

“All of your hoard was moved into the castle,” I reminded him. “Because you wouldn’t stop bitching about it. You literally go in and lay on it almost every day. And then you come out and tell everyone about it. For hours. Oh, look at me, my name’s Kevin, I like to go lay on rubies and books and other shit.”

“I have brooms,” Tiggy told the crowd. “Kevin give me brooms. I keep them because they’re mine.”

“And I fought the dragon bravely,” Ryan said. He started to pose, miming that he had a sword, taking a defensive stance. “The fierce and mighty creature roared and breathed fire, but I rode in on my trusty steed to save my true love…”

“Who you callin’ a steed, you pasty-ass motherfucker?” Gary snarled at him.

“…sword drawn and at the ready. The battle was long and arduous, but soon I had vanquished the dragon so Sam could gather him as part of his quest to save Verania,” Ryan finished with a flourish, winking like an asshole at the crowd.

I snorted. “That’s not what happened at all. In fact, I didn’t even need to be saved. I was doing just fine. And I wasn’t even gathering dragons then. He just sort of followed us home. Besides, you just stood there and poked Kevin with your sword.”

“Yeah, you did,” Kevin said, forked tongue slithering out and running along his teeth. “You want to poke me again, Knight Commander? Once you go dragon, all the rest is lag—”

“I have a push broom,” Tiggy said. “And a whisk broom.” He paused, brow furrowing. “And a dust broom….”

“Call me a steed again,” Gary said, pressing his face against Ryan’s cheek as he crowded against him. “One more time. I dare you.”

“Meep,” Ryan said.

“And that’s how I plan on getting the dragons of Verania,” I said in conclusion, feeling really good about this whole thing.

However, the only sound we received in response were crickets. Actual crickets. I didn’t know they had any in the desert. Talk about bad timing.

Then, “Are you sure you got the right person?” someone called out from the crowd. “Because I don’t know if you got the right person. I mean, he has a dragon and all, but. You know. Are you sure?”

I was moderately offended.

Vadoma was glaring at us.

Ruv’s lips were twitching, like he was holding back a laugh.

“Hey,” Gary snapped at them, looking away from Ryan, who sighed in relief that the unicorn’s ire had been focused on someone else. “Sam is pretty good sometimes at what he does occasionally!”

Pretty good sometimes, I mouthed to no one in particular.

“Yeah,” Tiggy said. “Sam so cool. I love him and he my friend and Tiggy smash if you hurt him.”

“And,” Kevin said, “in case you hadn’t noticed, I can actually talk when he’s around. Before, everything was all rawr snort grr. And if he goes too far away, it happens again. Also? I happen to be a motherfucking dragon. You know? From the motherfucking prophecy? And maybe Sam didn’t gather me intentionally, but you can bet that I’ll follow him anywhere.” He looked down at me and winked. “And I mean anywhere.”

“Gross,” I said. “And thank you.”

“Kevin’s right,” Ryan growled. “He’s the motherfucking dragon from the motherfu—”

“Ahem,” I coughed.

“Oh, come on,” he said, looking pained. “You can’t make me do that in front of everyone.”

“Ryan.”

“Sam.”

“Are you, or are you not, a Knight of Verania.”

He scuffed his foot against the wood. “I am.”

“And are there, or are there not, impressionable young children here who might one day want to grow up to be just like their hero Knight Commander Ryan Foxheart?”

He sighed. “There are.”

“Then watch your motherfucking language, okay?”

“Gods.”

“You may continue your defense of me. It was very sweet. I love you.”

“Whatever.”

“Anytime now.”

“Well maybe I don’t want to do it now.”

I leaned over, cupping my hand over his ear. “I’ll rim you until you cry if you do.”

He shuddered as he bit his bottom lip. “Yeah?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“He’s a mothercracking dragon,” Ryan snapped. “From the mothercracking prophecy. And I’m the Knight Commander to the Castle Guard and here on order of the King, who I speak for. So when I say Sam’s the right person, yes, he’s the right godsdarn person.” He folded his arms across his chest and glared, as if daring anyone to contradict him.

I wanted to mount him in front of everyone.

But that needed to wait.

I had a job to do.

I took a step forward.

The crowd around me took a step back.

Inwardly, I shrieked gleefully that I was intimidating.

Outwardly, I was a stone-cold killer.

“You can question me,” I said. “I don’t blame you for that. You don’t know me. Not like others do. And maybe I’ve made mistakes in the past. I’m not perfect. But if any of you can say differently about yourselves, then by all means, go ahead. If any of you are willing to step forward and go to the desert dragon, then do it now before I’ve had enough of you wasting my time.”

A murmur went through the crowd, but no one spoke against me. I could see the ire on some of their faces, and the fear, but there was awe there too. I was young, and most likely foolish, but I was sure news of our exploits had reached the desert. Couple that with whatever Vadoma had told her people about me—especially as the grandson of the phuro—I thought that maybe I could strike a chord with them. I was still only an apprentice. I was still only twenty-one years old. But I could do things that no one else could do. And even though I was sure all the stories spoken about me weren’t true, it would hopefully add to whatever legend of me they’d built in their heads. Morgan had taught me it was better to have people fear you a little than be indifferent toward you. I had never really understood what he’d meant until that moment.

“He is strong,” Vadoma announced, eyes on me. Her people turned to look back at her. “Rough around the edges, but strong. Listen to Vadoma. We have waited for this moment, for the blood of the gypsies to pulse around the heart of Verania. Be proud, because he is one of us, and he will rise against the Dark.”

There was her angle. And it was smart one. Gypsies weren’t looked down upon, not in the way people from the slums were. But they certainly weren’t revered. It was more out of sight, out of mind. And when they were thought upon, it was with a disdain for mystics and fortune-tellers, something of which I’d been guilty of myself. But by relating me to them and my position in Verania, it would help them align themselves with me. The will of the people was the strongest thing one could have.

And then she opened her mouth and ruined everything.

“It will also help us in the long run that Ruv, the Wolf of Bari Lavuta, is his cornerstone. The one who will help Sam of Wilds build his magic so that he may defeat this man in shadows.” The smile she gave was beatific and grandmotherly, as if she didn’t have a care in the world.

The crowd gasped dramatically.

“Bitch say whaaaa?” Gary exclaimed as his eyes narrowed, glitter beginning to sprinkle from his body. “Is Gary gonna have to cut someone up in here?”

“Ah hells nah,” Tiggy said, cracking his knuckles.

“What the fudge?” Ryan growled. “What the heck did she just say?”

I almost had a mind to compliment him on the restraint of his language, but I was a little too shell-shocked to even formulate a proper response. I glanced at Ruv, but his expression was blank. I didn’t know him well enough to see through it, to figure out if he’d known this was coming. If he did, then he’d certainly played me for a fool. If he didn’t, then he was just as much a pawn in this as I was, and Vadoma was an asshole for doing that to the both of us.

I took a step forward, meaning to give her a piece of my mind, to make sure everyone within hearing distance knew who my true cornerstone was when Kevin spoke behind me and everything else just stopped.

“Sam,” he said in a voice I’d never heard before. It was dreamy and soft and filled with such wonder that it clenched at my heart. I didn’t know why. “Sam,” he said again.

I turned to look up at him.

And took a step back.

For the dragon Kevin stood above me, wings spread, the tips scraping against buildings on either side. Little tendrils of smoke curled up from his nostrils, and I could feel the heat from the fires that burned inside of him. It struck me as odd that this was probably the most I’d ever seen him actually look like a dragon since the first time he’d crawled over that hill, chasing after sheep before he’d knocked me through an equipment shed and kidnapped Justin. I knew him now, knew what made him tick, knew how his mind worked, crazy though it was. Kevin wasn’t just a dragon. He was my friend.

But this wasn’t my friend. Not now. Now he was a beast, far larger than anything I’d faced in the past.

His eyes were glowing like starlight. They’d never been that color before. They’d never glowed before. That probably wasn’t a very good sign.

“Kevin?” Gary asked, sounding unsure. “Are you okay?”

“He has awoken,” Kevin said, eyes flashing like a storm in summer. He never looked away from me. I could see his tail twitching dangerously behind him. “My brother. Deep in the earth. He wakes. I can feel him. In my head. In my blood. It vibrates. Sam of Wilds, he is calling for me. He is calling for you. He’s—oh gods. I can feel the—”

“Look!” someone in the crowd shouted, and whatever it was caused the others to mutter quietly in their native tongue, words dropping like music notes, spoken almost in veneration, like they were praying.

“Holy shit,” Gary said.

I didn’t take my eyes off Kevin. “What is it?”

“David’s Dragon,” Ryan said, sounding awed. “It’s so bright.”

I took a chance.

I looked away from the dragon toward the heavens.

A chill ran down my spine.

For it seemed all the other stars in the sky had faded into almost nothing, consumed by the light of David’s Dragon. The constellation was so vivid, so real, that it knocked the breath from my chest. I’d never seen it like that before.

“The star dragon!” Vadoma crowed. “The gods have shown you how it shines.”

“Well fuck me silly,” Gary said. “This is some mystic hoodoo shit. I don’t deal in mystic hoodoo shit. I am a godsdamned unicorn. I am glitter and sunshine and motherfucking good feelings. Those stars better stay in the sky or I’m gonna get my rainbow on all up in this bitch.”

“Motherfucking rainbows,” Tiggy echoed.

I tore my gaze away from the stars and looked back toward Kevin. I didn’t flinch when Ryan found my hand, squeezing my fingers tightly.

“The desert dragon,” I said slowly, unsure of who I was talking to. I hoped Kevin was still in there somewhere, but I couldn’t be sure. Because the color of his eyes matched David’s Dragon above. I didn’t know if I was speaking to my friend or a god.

“He of the fire,” the dragon said. “Buried in the sand. He has felt your presence here, Sam of Wilds. His soul is bound to yours as one of the five. But he will fight it until he deems you worthy.”

You are not ready, a memory whispered in my mind.

“Am I worthy?” I asked. “Or will this all be for nothing?”

The dragon’s eyes narrowed. “That is not for me to decide. I have seen all possible paths, Sam of Wilds. I know of all possible endings for you. I do not choose sides.”

That made me angry. “So you’re nothing but a messenger. Fat lot of good that does me.”

The people of Mashallaha moaned around us.

“Um, Sam?” Gary hissed. “Let’s not try and piss off the really large dragon who seems to be possessed by a constellation. If you don’t mind.”

“The stars do not pass judgment, little one,” the dragon said as it took a rumbling step forward. He lowered his head until his face was only a few feet from my own. I felt his breath blowing against me, furnace hot and moist. “They stand and observe.”

“So you’ll watch and do nothing. The gods will watch and do nothing. What if the darkness comes? What if we’re consumed by it?”

“Then you weren’t meant to live at all,” the dragon said as if it were that simple.

“He spoke to me.”

The dragon said nothing.

“Did you know that? You must have. If you can see all paths. All possible outcomes. Myrin.”

“Myrin,” the dragon said. “The man in shadows.”

“Him,” I agreed. “He told me that you’ve shown him the same. That anything we’ve seen, he’s seen as well.”

“It’s the light,” he said. “And the dark. Two sides. Opposites. The balance must be maintained.”

“But he can’t get to the dragons,” I said. “Can he?”

And the star dragon hesitated. Then sighed. “Well shit,” he muttered, his voice suddenly less ominous. He still sounded like Kevin, but just off enough for me to know that it wasn’t our dragon. “You weren’t supposed to figure that out yet.”

I blinked at him. “What.”

“I think you’re being scolded by some stars that have possessed my ex-husband,” Gary whispered.

“That’s… not a sentence I ever expected to hear you say.”

“Yeah. You know, even for us, this is really weird.”

“I don’t even know why I ask questions anymore.”

“Hey, guys?” Ryan said. “Maybe save the banter for later. You know. When we’re not about to be eaten.”

“Stars don’t eat food,” the dragon said. “We’re stars.” It looked at me like Ryan was my fault. “Is he for real?”

“Um, I think so?”

“Right. Good job landing that one.”

“Hey!”

“Anyway,” the dragon said. Suddenly it leaned forward again, eyes glowing the brightest they’d been. “Get thee to the desert dragon. Test your will against his. The world is in your hands.”

Its shining eyes began to fade as the dragon reared back. “Wait a minute!” I shouted, taking a step forward. “You can’t just come in here all mysterious and then try and leave. Who does that? You want to know who does that? Assholes do that!”

It raised its head toward the sky and opened its mouth. At first nothing happened, and then David’s Dragon pulsed, and lightning shot from the open maw. It arced upward, splitting across the sky in a blinding flash.

Then it was over.

I opened my eyes, aftershocks dancing across my vision.

“Whoa,” Kevin said. He blinked and shook his head. “I felt everything. The power. The strength. And I can hear the desert dragon now. Do you know what this means? My body is a godsdamned vessel to the gods. Bow before meh, hoomanz. Dis is yer god spakin. I thou commandeth you to do whatever I say for all time! Eth!”

“Well, fuck,” I said succinctly.