Chapter 17: Snake Dragon Monster Thing

 

 

IT WAS slow going to reach the island, given that my legs felt weak and I was exhausted. I scowled at Ryan as he tried to hold me up, but Tiggy wouldn’t hear any of it, and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, grunting, “Sack of Potatoes Sam. Capitalized, motherfucker.”

It didn’t stop me from grumbling about it. When one is being held against his will by a half-giant, one must grumble. I was sure that was Veranian law.

Ryan trailed after us, and since I was cranky, I thought it best to give him a piece of my mind.

“You,” I said. “You are in so much trouble, you don’t even know.”

“Am I now.” It wasn’t even said as a question, the bastard.

“Yes, you are.” I scowled at him to show just how serious I was. He didn’t seem to be affected in the slightest. I lowered my voice in a mocking approximation. “Go after the dragon, Sam. Leave me here to die, Sam. Look at me, I’m a godsdamned martyr!”

“I don’t think that’s quite how it went.”

“It might as well have! And Tiggy, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you! You’re gonna get yours, you can bet on that, yes, sir. You think you can just wave goodbye at me and not get into trouble? Oh, you are sorely mistaken, my friend. You’re in deep shit too!”

Tiggy patted my butt and said, “Okay, Sam.”

“Stop placating me!”

“Pretty Sam. Pretty, loud, boomy Sam.”

I pointed my finger at Ryan, craning my neck to look back up at him. “So much trouble.”

“What’s he screeching about now?” I heard Gary ask.

“Martyrs!” I yelled. “I’m surrounded by martyrs!”

“Oh boy,” Gary said. “He’s getting loud. That’s never a good sign.”

“Put me down!”

Tiggy did just that, but apparently I wasn’t as recovered as I would have liked. As I stumbled forward, Gary was there to stop my momentum, my hands going around his neck, his mane soft under my fingers. My legs were shaking, and I sagged against Gary, letting him take my weight for a little bit.

“Kevin,” I heard Ryan say. “Can you go grab Ruv? I don’t think he can make it over.”

“On it, boss man.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sure thing, boss man.”

“Godsdammit. Just… get him.”

“Leaving now, boss man.”

“You okay, kitten?” Gary asked, rubbing his cheek against mine. “That was… impressive.”

“I’m fine,” I muttered. “I don’t… I don’t know what happened.”

“You put on a very powerful display,” Gary said softly. “Something I don’t think I’ve ever seen before.”

“Great,” I sighed. “Because that’s just what we need right now. Me getting more out of control.”

I felt Gary shake his head. “Don’t think we can call it that, Sam.”

“Maybe. Whatever it was, I’m sorry it took too long. I know you don’t like to worry.”

Gary pulled back so he could look at me. “Took long?”

I tested my legs, bending slightly at the knees. They still felt a little soft, but it was getting better. My strength was slowly returning, which was a good sign. “Yeah, I don’t even know how long I was stuck in that storm. Felt like ages before I found Tiggy and Ryan.”

Gary opened his mouth and then snapped it closed again.

“What?”

“Sam,” he said slowly, like he was choosing his words carefully. “It only lasted seconds.”

And that sent a chill down my spine. “What?”

Gary glanced at Tiggy and Ryan before looking back at me. “Ryan and Tiggy went under. Kevin and I were about to come after you and them when you just… exploded. Sam, I could taste the magic in the air. One minute you were standing and the sun was shining, and the next, there was a thunderstorm overhead and the sand just rose around you. We could barely see you on the path. Before we could even shout for you, you were struck by lightning and then you were moving.”

“Moving,” I said. “I don’t—”

“To put it bluntly, kitten? You were surrounded by a gigantic ball of lightning and were moving almost faster than the eye could see. One moment you were on the walkway, and the next, you were electrifying everything. It was so bright, we had to look away. When I could see again, the sand, the mermaids… everything was gone.”

“Huh,” I said. “That’s… something.”

Gary leaned in until his face was pressed against mine. “You want to know how it happened?” he asked, breathing heavily. “Because I can tell you.”

I was going cross-eyed trying to look at him. “Why did it happen?”

He panted against my face. “Because of love.”

I groaned and pushed his face away. “You shut your fat mouth.”

He was laughing, but it had a hysterical edge to it. “Sam, I’m not even joking. You thought Tiggy and Ryan were in trouble, and you literally destroyed a sea of sand to get to them.”

“Hey! They were in trouble! They were the ones stupid enough to get themselves sucked under!”

“I love you too,” Tiggy said. “You my favorite wizard.”

“Damn right I’m your favorite wizard,” I muttered. “Too bad you’re both on my shit list right now.”

Ryan wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him and kissing the side of my head. “You love me,” he said into my hair.

“You can go fuck yourself.”

“You love me.”

“Less and less every second.”

“You love me.” He kissed me again.

I clung to him, just a little bit. “You can’t do that,” I said in a low voice. “You can’t do that to me again.”

He turned me until he could cup my face in his hands, forcing me to meet his gaze. I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. “You came for me,” he said. “Even though I told you to go.”

“You have stupid ideas.”

“Oh gods,” Gary moaned from somewhere behind me. “They’re going to start getting sappy. Tiggy, kill me now.”

“No,” Tiggy said. “Tiggy loves you. No killing.”

“You adorable, wonderful giant. How I cherish you.”

“You came for me,” Ryan said again. “Just like I would come for you.”

“I never said I was smart either.”

He leaned in and kissed me sweetly, lips lingering. I wanted to deepen it, make it more than it was, but I knew it would be tinged with desperation. I still felt frantic, the image of him slipping under the sand burned into my mind.

“They’re so fucking cute it’s terrible,” Gary said. “Tiggy, will I find love that makes other people want to vomit and punch me in the spleen?”

“You did.”

“Why, I have no idea of what you speak!”

“You an idiot,” Tiggy said succinctly.

“Don’t do that to me again,” I murmured against his lips. “I swear to the gods, if you die, I will resurrect you just to kill you myself.”

I felt him smile against me. “Deal. And stop worrying about the magic.”

I pulled away. “I’m not worried.”

“Sam.”

“Okay, fine. Maybe a little worried. But you saw what I did. Ryan, no one should be able to do that. Randall can’t even do that.”

Ryan shrugged. “He’s already said you’re more powerful than he is. He just thinks you’re unfocused.”

“Being unfocused with that level of power will get someone killed,” I said.

“It’s a good thing you have me, then.”

“Oh my gods. Of course you would make this about your ego. You dickbag.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re the most powerful wizard in an age. I’m your cornerstone. Therefore I’m the most powerful cornerstone in an age. It’s my destiny, after all.”

I wiggled my fingers at him. “I will curse your tongue so it falls out of your mouth.”

“Ungh,” he said, eyes glazing over.

“Heart boner definitely gone,” Gary muttered behind us. “Their sex games are so weird.”

“I don’t like sex games,” Tiggy said. “I like puzzles.”

“Gaah, I love your face. Tell me I’m beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“I know.”

There was a flap of wings, and a large shadow passed overhead. Dust and sand kicked up around us as Kevin lowered himself back onto the island, holding Ruv in his claws. He let Ruv drop down before he landed, folding his wings against his sides.

Ruv was wide-eyed as he stared at me. “They said you were powerful.” He shook his head. “They have no idea, do they?”

“I don’t think anyone does,” I said honestly. “It’s still a work in progress.”

“A work in—Sam. I have never seen that kind of magic before.”

“Oh. Well. You’re… welcome?”

“How can you do that?”

“The power of positivity?”

“He doesn’t know,” Gary said. “Isn’t that fun? You meet him, you think, oh, there’s a cute little twink with a perky butt, and the next, wham! He’s exploded your liver and turned your blood into burning oil.”

“I’m not a twink!”

“Notice how he didn’t deny the other stuff,” Gary whispered to Ruv. “Think about that the next time you let Vadoma call you his cornerstone and you don’t try to correct her.”

“Eep,” Ruv squeaked.

“Yesss,” Gary hissed. “Your fear gives me strength.”

“Well,” Ryan said, clapping his hands. “As fun as threats against Ruv are, we should probably move forward before something else happens.”

I stared at him in horror. “Why would you say that? Now something else is going to happen because you jinxed us!”

“Sam,” he said with a sigh. “Something always happens when you’re involved.”

“That’s not even—okay. Yes. That’s pretty much true. I have nothing.”

“Sam, before we go, if I may.”

“Yes, Kevin.”

“I know your mother and I have ended our relationship.”

“I changed my mind. Stop.”

“And I know I’ve been a distant stepfather at best.”

“Oh my gods.”

“But son? That whole lightning thing? That was hot. I would just destroy you if you’d let me.”

“Oh my gods.”

“Remember when I used to hate your magic because wizards suck?”

“I wish that was still the case.”

“Well now I like it, and I hope wizards suck.”

“Why aren’t you defending my honor?” I asked Ryan, poking him in the chest.

He shrugged. “I don’t disagree with what he’s saying.”

“Useless. All of you. Since Ryan jinxed us, we should get moving before we get eaten or—”

From farther into the island came the deafening roar of an unmistakably large creature. It echoed through the cavern around the island until it finally faded.

“—or the dragon wakes up and knows we’re here,” I finished weakly. “Because holy fuck, it’s awake and knows we’re here.”

We all turned toward the dome, expecting to see it slithering toward us, teeth bared, ready to eat our legs and patellas, but there was nothing there.

But I could feel it. It wasn’t whispering to me in my head anymore, at least not in words. There was just that hook in my brain, jerking me forward, and all I could think was now, now, now.

“Well shit,” Gary said. “Sam’s got glowing eyes again. That will never not be freaky.”

“Kevin?” I asked without looking away from the dome. “Can you feel it?”

“Yes,” Kevin said, sounding dreamy. “He’s in there.”

“He?”

“Yes.”

“Can you talk to him?”

“No. It’s not…. I can just feel him. He’s awake. He’s waiting for us. He’s waiting for you.”

“Eh, maybe we should think about this,” Ryan said. “Since anytime we’ve rushed headfirst into anything without thinking it through, it’s never really worked out in our favor.”

“You rescued the Prince and landed the wizard without thinking it through,” Gary pointed out. “In fact, I don’t know that you ever think things through.”

He glared at Gary. “I think things through all the time. It’s not my fault I’m surrounded by all of you people.”

Gary narrowed his eyes. “And just what do you mean by you people?”

I ignored them. “Anything else we should know about Jekhipe before we go?”

Ruv was watching me with a look on his face that I couldn’t quite place. I didn’t know if my eyes were still doing their weirdness, but I thought they probably were. I didn’t think he was scared, but… wary? Cautious, probably. My little display had probably thrown him for a loop. I didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. Or what’d he’d say to Vadoma when we returned to Mashallaha.

“Just that he’s dangerous,” Ruv said finally. “A trickster. You cannot underestimate him.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t underestimate anything.”

“Um,” Gary said. “You do it all the time.”

“No one asked you, Gary!”

“Okay, you need to point those freaky eyes at someone else, Miss Thang. I don’t need your creepy hoodoo business all up in my shit.”

“I think they’re hot,” Ryan whispered to me.

“I know,” I said. “But you’re really weird, so.”

“It’s not weird.”

“What they whispering about?” Tiggy asked Gary.

“Probably something disgusting,” Gary said. “Remember when Sam was a virgin? I miss those days.”

“His precious flower,” Tiggy said mournfully.

“Team Sam, move out!” I announced.

Which, of course, everyone protested, because they were lame and wouldn’t know a good team name if it punched them in the throat.

 

 

THE RUINS were in far worse condition than they’d appeared from far away. Everything that still stood—the parapets, the battlements, the towers—looked to be on the verge of collapse. Great piles of stones littered the whole of the island. Everything was smooth and bleached, worn down by blowing sand and sun. There were vague shapes in the broken statues—feet here, an arm there. There was a stone hand that held a dagger lying on the ground near the remains of an archway.

The ruins felt dead.

And haunted.

“What was this place?” I asked Ruv, even as the dragon whispered unintelligibly in my head. “I’ve never heard of a castle this far out.”

Ruv stepped over a mound of stone. “The name of the castle has been lost in time. But the gypsy people call it Prikasa.”

“What does that mean?”

He didn’t even blink when he said, “Bad luck. A dark omen.”

“Of course that’s what it means,” I said. “Because you guys suck.”

He ignored me. “It’s supposed to be older than Verania itself. There was a man, or so it is said, a fierce warrior, who ruled over many lands. He and his army worked their way east, laying siege to everything in sight, taking it for himself. He was blinded by greed and power and the need to own all he could see. By rights, he was very good at what he did. He built himself castles for every new territory he consumed. This was said to be one of them.”

“What happened to him?”

“What happens to all men with great power,” he said. “Someone wanted it more and killed him for it.”

“I feel like you’re trying to tell me something.”

I didn’t miss the faint smile. “You are so wise, Sam of Wilds.”

“Now you’re mocking me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“How are we going to get this dragon on our side?” Ryan asked. “Are we just going to walk up to it and say, ‘Hey, dragon. Come be on Team Sam. It’s great.’”

“Yes,” I whispered reverently. “I knew Team Sam would be a thing.”

“We’re going to need to sell it better than that,” Gary said, rolling his eyes. “Give him some incentive.”

“Oh?” Kevin said. “And just what kind of incentive can you give? Is that how it’s going to be? Move on from one dragon to the next? For shame. For shame.”

“Well,” Gary said. “Once you go dragon, all the rest is laggin’.”

“Hey!” Kevin said, sufficiently outraged. “That’s my saying! You can’t weaponize it and use it to stab me in the heart!”

“They’re so in love,” Tiggy said to me. “Tiggy knows.”

“We’ll figure it out,” I told Ryan. “You gotta trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

He frowned. “I trust you, Sam. But you never know what you’re doing.”

Which. Okay. That was pretty much true. I tended to be more of a by-the-seat-of-my-trousers kind of planner. I figured that since I was still alive after all these years, I must be doing something right.

As we approached the dome, I could see it was bigger than I’d thought. There were large square sections cut out of it, openings that looked as if they had once held windows or a covering of some kind. The stone was cracked along the dome, and some pieces had collapsed, but it still stood and looked solid. Or at least I hoped it was, because I had a bad feeling that we were going to be heading inside.

“It was an aviary,” Ruv said, coming to stand next to me as I stopped to look up. I had to blink against the sun shining along the curve of the dome.

“Those would have been some damn big birds,” I said.

“The world is a mysterious place, Sam,” Ruv said. “Before today, you never knew sand mermaids existed.”

“And I was totally okay with that.”

His grin was rather unsettling. “Just because you ignore it doesn’t mean it will go away.” He continued on toward the dome.

“Fucking gypsies,” I muttered.

As we got closer, the whispering in my head got louder. It wasn’t forming words anymore, only sound, like a low hum. It itched and rankled, but the hook only pulled harder. Ryan walked closely at my side, his hand brushing against mine. It grounded me, kept my head mostly clear.

“They’re getting brighter,” he said as we walked into the shadow of the dome. “Your eyes.”

“It doesn’t feel like I’m seeing anything differently,” I said, though it felt like a lie. “They red?”

“Very.”

“That’s probably not a good sign.”

“Probably.”

The front of the dome had a large archway where I was sure had once been an entrance akin to the Great Doors into the throne room in Castle Lockes. But those doors were long gone, either corroded or destroyed at some point in the past. Now it was just a cavernous opening, and it was eerily reminiscent of the mouths on the sand mermaids, sans teeth. That wasn’t the image I wanted to have while walking into it.

But it wasn’t completely dark inside. In fact, it was rather beautiful, with shafts of sunlight crisscrossing through the openings in the dome, illuminating large swaths of ground. And while it was magnificent, it wasn’t what caught my attention.

No, what caught my attention was the life inside the dome.

For even though it was surrounded by a harsh and unforgiving environment, and even though it should have died a very long time ago, the interior of the dome was teeming with plant life. It was startling, seeing the bursts of colorful flora that bloomed within the dome. There were trees that looked almost as old as anything I’d ever seen in the Dark Woods. There were flowers of orange and violet and blue and ocher, much larger than the blossoms that grew in my mother’s garden. I heard the loud chirp of birds, their calls and songs echoing in the dome.

It was, in a word, extraordinary.

I glanced at Ruv, who looked just as shocked. “I thought you said this used to be an aviary.”

“It was,” Ruv said, taking a stuttering step forward. “It was dead. There was nothing but sand and stone on the inside from what we could see.”

“When was the last time you were here?”

“A year ago. Maybe a little more.”

That… I didn’t know what to do with that. “Those trees. They’re older than that.”

“He did this,” Kevin said, sounding just as awed. “The dragon. When he woke. He did this.”

“Godsdammit,” I said. “I don’t know anything about dragons.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Kevin said, “apparently neither do I. Why can’t I do anything like this? The only thing I can do is be amazing at everything I do.”

“Most everything,” Gary said. “And don’t feel intimidated. I’m sure this new dragon is lacking something. I mean, it’s obvious that all dragons have their flaws.”

“You weren’t complaining about my flaws when I had you on your back, you hussy.”

“Hussy? I’ll show you hussy, you gigantic—”

“Hey, Gary.”

“Yes, Sam.”

“Shut up.”

“But he—”

“No.”

“He started—”

“No.”

Gary gaped at me. Then, “That made me tingle. I can see why Knight Delicious Face gets off on you being all grr.”

“Nope,” Ryan said. “Not even a part of this.”

“You’ve never seen the interior?” I asked Ruv.

He shrugged. “As much as it can be seen when looking from the outside in. Remember, it was dead inside. Not like this. It was Prikasa. This is… not. You can feel it, can’t you? The dragon. The magic.”

Yes. I could. And the closer we were, the more it pulled. It didn’t hurt, but it was borderline pleasurepain. I was all but ready to charge into the dome, to immerse myself in it. I was able to hold back.

Barely.

“We shouldn’t all go in,” I said. “I don’t know how easy it’ll be to get through the growth. It’ll be… easier if it’s only a couple of us. If we had to run.”

“I’m not letting you go in there without me,” Ryan said. “So don’t even think about saying it.”

“I wasn’t,” I assured him. “You. Me. Tiggy.”

“Shouldn’t I go in?” Kevin said. “I am a dragon, after all. You might need me.”

“How would you feel had another dragon tried to enter your keep?” I asked.

“I would have torn him limb from limb!” Kevin snarled.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“I would have burnt him to a crisp!”

“And you really think it’s a good idea to leave me out here?” Gary asked, staring up at Kevin, who was working himself up in a right state. “Seriously? You bitch.”

“He needs someone to keep him calm,” I said.

“Who is this unnamed foe who dares to touch my hoard? Why, I oughtta knock his teeth in! Does he know who he’s messing with?”

“And that someone has to be me,” Gary said flatly.

“I’m the Beast from the East! Lord Dragon to the gypsies! A god to people who ate entirely too much corn to maintain a healthy diet!”

I shrugged. “Who better than you? You love him.”

“I do not.”

“Sheep fear me. They cry and scream and run whenever they see me coming, and while I won’t eat them, I will gobble up their delicious terror!”

I rolled my eyes. “Just do it, Gary.”

“I will have my revenge, Sam,” Gary hissed. “Mark my words. One day when you least expect it, I will have my revenge.”

And he totally would, too. Years could go by before he enacted whatever diabolical plot he concocted. Unicorns were assholes like that. “Just… nothing with the face. Or my hair. I’ve got really good hair.”

“Oh, I make no promises.” Gary chuckled evilly.

I looked at Ruv. “Make sure they don’t do anything stupid.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?”

“I don’t know! Gods, Ruv. Show some initiative for once in your life. Sand mermaids, magical plans, it’s like I’m doing everything here.”

“Yikes,” Ryan said. “That’s not even what happened.”

“You got yourself sucked under the sand by a monster,” I said. “You’re lucky I’m even inviting you to be on Team Sam at all. So shut it.”

“Bitch,” Gary coughed.

I ignored him. “Now, do what I told you to do, or I’m going to light someone here on fire, so help me gods.”

Tiggy grinned smugly at Gary. “I get to go,” he said. “Team Sam for the win.”

“Fine,” Gary said with a sniff. “We’ll just have Team Gary out here, and everyone knows Team Gary is the better team. We get to have cool things like cupcakes and fascinating discussions about what people love best about me.”

“Cupcakes?” Kevin asked, ears perking.

“Not that kind of cupcake,” Gary hissed. “I’m trying to make a point.”

“Thanks for this,” Ruv grumbled. “Really. You should go before more things happen.”

“Gods, what is with all of you and jinxing me? Team Sam, front and center!”

Tiggy snapped to attention, standing straight, legs together, arms at his sides, chin tilted up. Ryan drew his sword again and posed, because he was a douchebag and he couldn’t not.

We were going to die horrible and painful deaths.

 

 

STEPPING INTO the dome was a surreal experience. The sandy ruins of the castle in the dry, scorching heat gave way to cool, dank air redolent with the strong perfume of flowers and the crisp scent of the trees, as if we’d walked through some kind of portal to a land far, far away from the desert. I thought maybe it was an illusory magic, that the dragon or whatever caused this was projecting, but if it was, it was the most convincing façade I’d ever seen. The grass and leaves were soft beneath my feet. The tree bark was rough against my hands. The flower petals were velvety, the pollen sticky on my fingertips. If it was a lie, it was good. But if it was real, it was extraordinary. The stories we heard as kids said that dragons were beings of pure magic, more so than any other creature in existence. That their blood was made of stars and had led to the Creation of Man. Man, so it was said, came from pieces of stardust. If dragons were made of stars, then it was thought we came from dragon’s blood. I’d always listened with wide eyes as a child but fell into cynicism as a teenager, as children often did.

I’d never asked for Kevin’s blood. I would never have done that to him, no matter how much it could have advanced my Grimoire. Others had tried, he’d told me in broad strokes. He’d been captured and hurt before managing to escape. It was where his distrust of wizards had come from. It’d taken me a long time to overcome that with him, and I’d never do anything to set us back.

But still. If this was real, if this dragon had awoken and created all that I could see in this interior, from the plants to the bees that flitted between the flowers to the birds that sang out from the trees, it was something beyond anything I’d ever dealt with before.

Kevin was a dragon. He had magic, we knew. We just didn’t know how it would manifest. Kevin said it was because he didn’t want to show us yet. I thought it was because he didn’t know, and Morgan and Randall were convinced that he was too young.

But this dragon did.

“Smells like home,” Tiggy said, brow furrowed.

“Like the castle? Or the woods?”

He shook his head. “Like before. Before you. Before Gary.”

Ah. The ever-vague before. I exchanged a quick glance with Ryan, who looked startled. Tiggy didn’t often speak of before Gary, and I thought it was because he didn’t like to think of a time before Gary. From the bits and pieces we’d been able to put together, we thought it sounded like Tiggy had been cast out with his parents at some point for being a half-breed, however unjust that was. Usually, such discrimination was found to be appalling (though, with my experience in Mashallaha, it apparently was more prevalent than I thought), but the giants hailed from outside of Verania, beyond the mountains to the north. Tiggy couldn’t remember much, but the last time we’d been within a week’s journey of the land of the giants (after an ill-advised trip to the elven realm in which I only found out later Gary had been tied up and spanked by a centaur—don’t ask, long story), he’d refused and made us travel south as quickly as our feet could carry us.

So the fact that he even mentioned a time before, much less unprovoked, was a big deal. I took in a great breath, trying to smell what my friend did, hoping for some understanding. It was different for me. All I smelled was the normal scent of a forest. Maybe it was tinged with the crisp burn of magic, but beyond that? It didn’t seem different than anything else I’d scented before. “It smells good,” I decided.

He nodded. “I like our home better. Smells like us. Like HaveHeart and Gary and Tiggy.”

“Me too, dude. I like home better too.”

“We gonna go home some day?”

“Yeah. Someday.”

“After the dragons.”

“Yeah. Soon. Won’t be forever. Gotta get those dragons first, you know?”

He frowned. “Dragons are scary.” He bared his teeth and snapped his jaw. “They bite. Kevin’s not scary.” He took in another deep breath. “This dragon doesn’t feel scary.”

I didn’t know what to do with that, but I thought he was right. I could remember what it’d felt like, the first time Kevin had crested that hill, chasing after the sheep. I’d been scared shitless, but then a flying lizard the size of a house had been rushing toward us. But even though this dragon was supposed to be some kind of large snake (which, ugh), it didn’t feel like we were in danger.

But I knew of poisons disguised in beauty. We couldn’t lower our guard.

Added to the fact that there was still a low hum in my head and that I was pretty sure my eyes were at the very least flickering red, we couldn’t risk anything.

“Yeah,” I said. “But you smash if you need to.”

“I always smash.”

“You fell from the sky, dude. All badass and everything. Saved my life, you know?”

His chest puffed out as he preened. “I am badass. Tiggy so badass.”

“Darn right, mothercracker,” Ryan said, holding out his fist, which Tiggy bumped with pleasure. I liked that these were my people.

We moved farther into the dome. I glanced back and could see Kevin and Gary peering at us from the entrance. I waved back at them, and they acknowledged me before Gary leaned over to say something to Kevin I couldn’t make out. I didn’t see Ruv anywhere, but I knew Gary wouldn’t let him get up to anything.

Without ever having been here before, I knew where I was going. Oh, I didn’t know the layout of the forest in the desert. I didn’t know the trees or the brush at my feet. But I knew where I was heading, where it was waiting for us. For how long we’d traveled, for how much was at stake, I felt woefully underprepared. All anyone knew of Jekhipe was apparently stories and drawings passed down. I didn’t know how to claim it as one of mine.

The forest became denser, and I was reminded fleetingly of Vadoma’s bad-touch, when she’d sent me… somehow into the Dark Woods and an audience with the Great White. There were beams of sunlight here, fat and warm, piercing through the thick canopy of the trees.

I needed a plan.

I could do this. I’d already done it once.

Sort of.

But hey, fuck it. It counted.

So I’d already done it once.

I could do it again.

“Why do you have that look on your face?” Ryan asked me suddenly.

“What look?” I asked.

“That scrunched-up, constipated look you get when you’re planning something that I usually end up not liking because it’s dangerous and or requires you—” He glanced at Tiggy before continuing in a low voice. “—sticking weird things in me because you think it’ll be kinky.”

Tiggy snorted, because of course he’d heard. He heard everything. But like a good giant, he let it go. Gary was such a bad influence.

“Well if I wasn’t thinking of sticking something in you, I am now,” I said. “Thanks for that. You couldn’t keep your sexy words until we were out of here? We’re on a quest, babe. We don’t have time right now to get down.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Tiggy?”

“That’s what he said.”

Ryan glared at him. “We just fist-bumped. I thought we were cool!”

Tiggy squinted at him. “Just one time. Settle down, Knight Delicious Face.”

“He got you there, dude,” I said solemnly.

“I don’t know why I put up with any of you. It’s not like—” He broke off as he gave me a weird look.

“What?” I asked, looking down at myself. “Do I got something on me? Is it a fucking bug? I swear to the fucking gods, if it’s a gigantic bug, I am going to burn this whole place to the ground—”

“Not a bug,” Ryan said. “It’s, ah. Your eyes. They’re getting… brighter.”

“Like all red and shit?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh. Keep your hands to yourself. I know I’m irresistible to you right now, but now’s not the time, Ryan.”

“Bright, Sam,” Tiggy said quietly. “Feel it?” He reached over and tapped my forehead. “Here?”

I nodded. “It’s—I can’t understand it. It’s… like I’m underwater. I can hear something, but it’s muted, you know?”

“Is it hurting you?” Ryan asked, jaw tensing.

I shook my head. “No. It’s not. It’s just… strong.”

“You know where we’re going, don’t you?”

I didn’t even try to lie. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

“You’ve been leading us very deliberately. Like you knew.”

“It’s pulling me.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“What choice do we have?”

“There’s always a choice, Sam. We could turn around right now. Walk away. Go back to Castle Lockes. We don’t need to be here. We don’t even know if Vadoma’s telling the truth.”

“But what if she is?” I scrubbed my hands over my face. “Look, I get what you’re saying. I do. But Ryan, even if we think she’s full of shit, what if she’s not? I can’t take that chance. Not now. Not since we’re so close.”

“I’m not scared.”

“I know.” Because he really was of the fearless sort.

“I’m worried.”

“I know that too.”

He jerked his head. “Keep on?”

“Keep on.”

“Keep on,” Tiggy agreed.

 

 

IT WAS in the center of the dome. I figured it would be. There was a circular opening at the top of the dome, and when the sun was at its peak, I was sure the light shone straight down inside. But it was past that already, for better or worse.

And I thought it was probably worse.

Because before us was a large circular hole dug into the earth and rock.

Like something big had burrowed down deep underground.

“That’s a big motherfucking snake,” I breathed. “This can’t possibly be good. We can probably go home now.”

Ryan and Tiggy crouched near the edge and peered into the hole. There wasn’t enough light to see very far down, so it was impossible to tell just how deep it went. But I’d seen how large the cavern that surrounded the island was now that the sand was gone. The pillar had reached all the way to the bottom. For all I knew, there were multiple tunnels dug through. Which meant there could be other holes somewhere in the dome.

Ryan and Tiggy looked up at the wheezing groan that came out of me. I waved my hand at them, trying to get them to ignore me, but Ryan stared at me expectantly.

“What?” I said, trying not to sound irritated. I didn’t think I succeeded.

“Do your thing,” he said, standing up. “You know. Like, magic. Or something.”

“Like magic or something,” I repeated flatly.

He shrugged. “You gotta call the dragon up somehow, right?”

“Why do I have to call it up? You call it up if you want to see it so bad—wait. Right. Destiny of dragons and all that. My bad. Still hate that word, by the way.”

“You okay?”

“Fine,” I said. “Just fine. So what if you want me to call up a gigantic snake dragon monster thing whatever just to watch it slither around all unnaturally.”

“Sam scared of snakes,” Tiggy said helpfully. Like an asshole.

“I’m not scared of snakes,” I said. “I would just like it if they never existed near me at all. Or anywhere ever. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

“But it’s not a snake,” Ryan said. “It’s a dragon.”

“Thank you, Ryan. That was very helpful. I truly appreciate it.”

He squinted at me. “Why didn’t I know this about you? It’s a little adorable. You’re trembling.”

I scowled at him. “Shut up. It’s not adorable. I’m not scared.”

“Okay, then,” he said, bending over quickly and scooping up a chunk of rock. “Then you wouldn’t mind if I dropped this down the hole just to see if we can get this thing up here.”

He held out his arm over the opening, stone in hand.

And smirked.

“Ho, don’t you do it!” I squeaked. And then coughed. “I mean, uh. We don’t want to hurt it, Ryan. Gosh. That would just be mean, okay? I’ll… I’ll take care of it.” I licked my lips.

“All right.” He took a step back and nodded toward the hole. “Get to it.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll just… do. That.”

I took a step toward the edge, already imagining the snake dragon monster thing that would come for me the moment I opened my mouth. It would probably be the largest thing in the world and would have really big fangs and spit poison in my mouth as it wrapped around me and slowly choked me, its tail rattling back and forth, its slit-eyes trained on me as it slowly drove me insane from fear. I’d probably end up shitting myself.

We took the worst trips.

I hated destinies with a passion.

I looked down into the hole. Cleared my throat. Opened my mouth and said, “Hey. Uh. Dragon.”

Nothing happened.

“Um. So. Do you want to come up here or…?”

Silence.

“No? That’s… uh. Cool. I’m totally cool with that. You do you, dude. That’s the only way to be.”

Ryan snorted from behind me.

I glared over my shoulder at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said, holding up a hand to placate me. “I just wonder what the rest of Verania would think if they heard the guy that’s supposed to save them trying to summon a dragon saying you do you, dude.”

“Oh?” I snapped. “You’ve got a better idea, asshole?”

“Sam, I think any idea is a better idea. You could’ve started with Flora Bora Slam and it would’ve been a better idea.”

“Hey! I only work with what I’m given, okay! Just because you wanted to drop a rock down the hole, doesn’t mean you get to make fun of my idea. And I’ll have you know, Flora Bora Slam is still considered to be one of the greatest nonspells ever created. They put that shit on shirts, Ryan. They sell shirts with Flora Bora Slam on them.”

“I’m in a calendar,” Ryan said smugly. “It’s always the most popular month.”

“Well, yeah,” I said. “You have epic nipples. I used to buy it every year and masturbate furiously to—I mean, I read it for the articles.”

He frowned. “You read… the calendar for the articles?”

I nodded. “Exactly. Oh no. Look at the time. Maybe we should just come back tomorrow. Or never. Never is good also.”

Ryan started forward. “I’ll just drop this rock down and then we can go.”

I gave a hoarse battle cry as I jumped on his back, trying to reach for the rock to stop him from calling up the gigantic snake of doom.

“Oh yes,” he grunted, trying to hold the hand with the rock as far away from me as possible. “Because that was an appropriate response. Get off me, you weirdo!”

“Give me the damn rock, Foxheart!”

“Never!”

“We playing games?” Tiggy asked. “Jump on Knight Delicious Face?”

“What? No, no jumping on Knight Delicious—”

“Yes, Tiggy!” I cried. “Jump on him! Squash him flat!”

Tiggy crowed happily as he started running toward us.

Ryan and I stopped struggling. “This may have been a very bad idea,” I breathed.

“We’re so fucked,” Ryan agreed.

“Watch your mouth, oh my gods, think of the children you ass—oomph!”

What happened next I would take full responsibility for, even if the argument could be made that we wouldn’t have even been in this mess if I’d never been born, so blame could also rest mostly with my parents. Damn them and their libido.

Tiggy slammed into us.

Ryan and I were knocked off our feet.

We landed on the ground with a crash.

Ryan’s hand struck the dirt.

The rock bounced out of his hand.

“Noooooo,” I said, because everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. “Sommeonnnnne geeeeet theee rooooooooooock!”

But alas, it was no use.

We watched as the rock rolled toward the edge.

And it started tipping toward the edge—

But then it fell back onto solid ground.

It didn’t go over.

We all breathed a sigh of relief. The gods were smiling down upon us! Oh joy, oh happy day, I could just shit, I was so happy—

Then Tiggy sneezed, the force of which sent the rock careening over the edge.

“Excuse me,” Tiggy sniffed as he wiped his nose. “Pollen. Itchy.”

The gods hated us.

And we all cringed as the rock seemed to bounce off every part of the wall it could. In the history of the world, I doubted there’d ever been a louder noise. It was as if the dome was literally crashing down around us while a thousand birds shrieked and a group of children played their instruments in a concert that parents have to attend and clap and pretend to love, but really are all regretting not practicing safe sex.

Add to the fact that the large hole was apparently all the way down to the center of the world, as it seemed to stretch on for a good few minutes. I winced with every crash and bang, sure that at any moment, a nightmare was going to crawl out of the hole and come for us. It probably didn’t help that the hum in my head had all but ceased as soon as the rock began to make its way down. Which, you know.

Probably wasn’t a good sign.

Eventually, the noise fell away.

We stayed quietly where we had fallen in a tangle of limbs, Ryan on the bottom, me lying on top of him, Tiggy above both of us, propped up on his hands so he didn’t actually crush us under his considerable weight.

We barely breathed.

Nothing happened.

Tiggy lifted himself slowly.

I pushed myself up off Ryan.

Ryan stood, knees popping, brushing off the seat of his trousers.

I gave it one more moment.

Still nothing.

“Okay,” I said, sure we were fine. “Maybe it’s not even there. This was probably all for nothing. We should—”

The snake dragon monster thing roared, and then that was the loudest thing in the world.

“—run as fast as we possibly can,” I squeaked.

And then the ground started to shake beneath our feet, the trees shuddering, the flowers swaying back and forth. The birds took to their wings, flying up and circling overhead.

Tiggy didn’t even hesitate. He scooped up Ryan and me in his arms and took great bounding steps toward the front of the dome. My hands were on his shoulders as I stared behind us, tree limbs slapping against my back and neck as Tiggy grunted. Ryan was shouting something, but I was focused on the hole as it got farther and farther away. There was another roar that echoed through the dome, and Tiggy stumbled as the ground cracked beneath his feet. We pitched forward dangerously, and for a panicked second, I thought we’d go crashing down, but Tiggy caught himself at the last second, spinning out of the way to dodge a falling tree, clutching us tightly.

“Holy shit!” Ryan cried, and I couldn’t even be bothered to tell him to think of the children, because holy shit was right. “We have to get out of here!”

“Trying,” Tiggy growled. “Next time, you carry me!”

“Well try harder! You can’t just—”

Everything fell away after that, like a veil had dropped over the world. The colors were softer, the sounds muted. Tiggy and Ryan continued to bicker, but it wasn’t important. It was background noise. I could hear the breaths I took, the shift of the magic in the air. It was green and gold and red, and it was everywhere. It was in the trees, the flowers, the brush, everything. There was a concentration of it in this dome, and the hook in my brain gave a sickening pull, a wave of nausea rolling through me. We were going the wrong way. We were going the wrong way. We were going the wrong—

Wizard, it whispered, clear as day. Wizard.

I am coming.

“Oh no,” I whispered.

The dragon burst from the hole in the floor of the dome in a crumbling, forgotten castle. It was thinner than I thought it’d be, but far longer. Its underbelly was white, the scales on its back and sides a fiery red that glittered in the beams of the sun, causing fractals of light to shoot off around the dome. It had no legs, and its wings were paper-thin, flapping almost like an insect’s, quick and light. Its head was hooded like a snake’s, with sharp white spikes jutting out down the sides toward its neck. The same spikes ran up its head toward its blunt snout. It was completely out of the hole when its head jerked toward us, black eyes blinking. Its mouth opened as it hissed, forked tongue flicking out between rows of teeth that ended with two gigantic fangs that unfurled from the top.

In other words, it was a fucking nightmare, and I wanted to be anywhere but where I was.

“Sweet molasses,” I managed to say.

“And furthermore, you weigh like eight times more than I do. I couldn’t even carry you if I—holy gods that is a giant snake!”

If we lived through this, I was going to give Ryan so much shit for the way he’d shrieked that.

Jekhipe curled in the air, bringing up its body underneath it, wings flapping furiously. The hood on its head flared out, the spikes rattling against each other as it shook. It opened its mouth again and roared, a sound that felt like it was vibrating into my bones.

“We’re so fucking screwed,” I whispered.

Jekhipe jerked forward, lightning quick, body hurtling toward us.

“We’re so fucking screwed!” I screamed.

“Talk to it!” Ryan shouted at me.

“You talk to it!”

“I’m not a godsdamned wizard!”

“Maybe you should be!”

“It’s your destiny, Sam!”

“You shut up about my destiny!”

Tiggy leapt over a fallen tree, skidding in the dirt and sand when he landed, turning to the right as he ducked under a thick low-hanging branch. The birds were screeching overhead, and Jekhipe was moving toward us, exactly like a godsdamned snake would, body curling and twisting behind it.

“There,” Tiggy grunted. “There.”

I turned to look ahead of us and could see the entrance to the dome. Gary and Kevin were waiting for us, eyes wide, Gary stomping his feet as he yelled, “What the hell is going on!”

“Giant snake dragon monster thing!” I shouted back.

“Giant snake what to what?”

“Running would be good!”

Kevin didn’t even hesitate. He grabbed Gary around his middle and hoisted him up even as Gary shrieked at him to put him down, what did Kevin think he was doing, did he think Gary could just be manhandled in such a way? Kevin ignored him and took a lumbering step back, trying to clear out of the entrance of the dome to give us room. I glanced back over Tiggy’s shoulder, and Jekhipe was getting closer, tail twitching, tongue flicking out, tasting the air.

Wizard, wizard, wizard.

“Fuck you!” I bellowed back at it.

“Maybe it’s not a good idea to anger the dragon with big teeth!” Ryan said, clutching his sword.

“You’ve got a better idea?”

“How was that even an idea? It’s—”

“Hold on!” Tiggy yelled, and I felt him begin to crouch, the muscles in his legs coiling. I circled my arms around his neck, hanging on for dear life as Ryan did the same. One of Ryan’s hands gripped my arm tightly and Jekhipe was right there.

Tiggy leapt toward the entrance of the dome.

One moment we were in a cool, dank forest.

The next, we burst into bright, harsh sunlight, the desert air burning around us.

It went from green to burnt gold in the space of a heartbeat, like we’d torn through one world and into another.

The momentum carried us past Kevin and Gary, who stood off to the side.

Jekhipe followed us into the sun. I didn’t know why I’d thought it wouldn’t be able to.

It was.

Its mouth opened wide, like its lower jaw was unhinged. The top fangs lowered again. The bony spikes along its hood rattled, and it was right there—

Kevin slammed a foot down as it went by him, driving its tail into the ground. Just as Jekhipe was about to snap its teeth around us, its eyes bulged and it said, “Urk,” as it jerked back, slamming down in a cloud of dust and sand.

We landed hard on the ground, Tiggy squeezing us close as we rolled, trying to protect us from the impact as much as he could. I had sand in my nose and mouth and eyes, and the world was spinning around me, flashings of sky then ground then sky again. We came to a stop when Tiggy’s back collided with a battlement that still stood. It swayed above us, and for a moment, I thought it was going to come falling down on top of us, but it held, only chunks of loose stone falling from the top and landing around us, kicking up a dirty plume into the air.

“That,” I wheezed, “sucked balls.”

“Understatement,” Ryan groaned. “Remind me why we’re doing this again.”

“Fate of the known world.”

“Oh. Right. Still don’t know if it’s worth it.”

“Tiggy, all right?”

“Sand in my trousers,” Tiggy said, sounding grumpy as he sat up, pulling us up with him. “Sand, Sam. In my trousers.”

“Yeah, dude,” I said, patting his arm. “That’s terrible. Believe me, I know. I have sand everywhere too.”

“Stupid snake dragon monster thing,” Tiggy said.

Speaking of.

The dust was clearing by the time I stood. I shook myself out, trying to get as much sand off me as I could. I took a step forward as I brushed off my arms and—

A shadow fell over me.

Because apparently the day couldn’t get any worse, Jekhipe rose above me. Its body was still mostly on the ground, muscular and agile, red scales bright in the sun. The lower third of its body was wrapped around Kevin, holding his arms against his chest, Gary tucked under his neck, trapped in its grip. Kevin was trying to snap down at it, but he couldn’t reach. I thought for a moment he’d breathe fire at it, but it would run the risk of burning Gary, and I knew he wouldn’t take that chance.

But Jekhipe wasn’t focused on them.

It only had eyes for me.

And I was furious.

“That’s it, then?” I growled up at it. “That’s all you got. Come on, you bastard.”

For a moment, I thought I saw its eyes widen slightly.

“Um, maybe not anger it, huh?” Ryan said. “That’s probably not—”

It jerked its head toward the sound of his voice, hissing at him, tongue out and tasting Ryan’s scent.

Which, no.

It squeezed Kevin and Gary tighter, causing Gary to cry out in pain.

Which.

No.

“Hey!” I shouted at it, taking a step back. “You look at me when I’m talking to you!”

It reared its head back as it turned to me.

“That’s right,” I said, taking another step back. “Thaaat’s right. It’s me you want. And I’m right here.”

“Sam? What are you—”

“Don’t move,” I said, not taking my eyes off Jekhipe. “I got this. Tiggy, get him out of here when I say.”

Ryan sounded furious. “And you get pissed at me for acting like a martyr?”

“Tiggy! Do you understand me?”

“Sam got a plan?” Tiggy asked, sounding worried.

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Yeah, I got a plan.”

That was a lie, but they didn’t need to know that.

“Bullshit,” Ryan said. “Tiggy, he’s going to—”

Jekhipe coiled to strike.

“Tiggy, now!”

Three things happened at once:

Jekhipe struck, teeth flashing;

and,

Tiggy grabbed Ryan and bolted to the side, out of the way;

and,

I jumped in the other direction as Jekhipe snapped its fangs at me. I felt the heat of its mouth as it missed me by inches. It slammed into the precarious battlement face-first. The tower swayed dangerously and then it tipped, tipped, tipped—

And then collapsed on top of Jekhipe’s head.

I scooted back as quickly as possible, trying to avoid falling stone. When it landed on Jekhipe, its body tensed and began to writhe. For a moment, I thought it was going to squeeze Kevin and Gary further, but it released them, causing them to sag toward the ground as Gary gasped sharply.

“Sam!”

I turned and looked toward the other end of the island, where the sea of sand had been before I’d destroyed it.

Ruv stood there, waving his arms over his head. “Sam, this way!”

I pushed myself up off the ground and started to run.

Jekhipe roared behind me as I heard it pull itself out of the collapsed battlement. I didn’t look back, didn’t stop to see if it was coming after me or how close it was. All I focused on was Ruv.

Wizard wizard wizard wizardwizardwizard—

My lungs burned with every step I took as I jumped over the ruins of the desert castle that lay spread out around me. Magic was curling itself against my skin, and I knew my eyes were flashing again. The ground shook beneath my feet as Jekhipe tore after me. I could do this, I could make this—

“Sam!” Ruv shouted. “Left, move left!”

I moved left.

Jekhipe’s head came down on my right, jaws snapping closed around nothing, much closer than I thought it’d be. The eye on the left side of its head focused on me, still black, but there was a hint of a reptilian shape in the cornea.

I kept running.

I distinctly remembered the island being much shorter than it was right now. Fear and terror of being eaten by a snake dragon monster thing apparently caused me to misjudge distances, because one moment, Ruv looked like he was as far away as the City of Lockes, and the next, I was about to crash into him.

“Go!” I shouted at him. “Go! Go!”

He started moving, and by the time I caught up with him, was running full tilt.

“What’s the plan?” he shouted at me, darting to the left when Jekhipe tried to snap at him.

“The plan? I thought you had a plan! You told me to start running toward you!”

“It was about to eat you!”

“It’s about to eat me now!”

The stone path that led across the cavern lay ahead. We were quickly running out of land on which to run. And the path was broken halfway through, probably farther than we could jump, from where Tiggy had fallen from the sky on top of the mermaid.

We were so fucked.

Wizard, it hissed in my head.

And then—

“That thing!”

Ruv looked at me, face red as he panted. “What thing!”

“Your sailboard sand thing!”

He reached behind him and unhooked it from his pack.

I could do this.

“We get to the end, you go left. You go left and you throw that thing out as hard as you can.”

“What are you going to do?”

I laughed, sounding crazed. “I’m going to jump.”

His eyes bulged. “Are you fucking crazy?”

I grinned at him. “I’m Sam of Wilds.”

We careened toward the edge of the island.

I heard Kevin roaring behind us somewhere, either in the sky or on land, I didn’t know. He wouldn’t get to us in time, regardless. I didn’t know where Ryan and Tiggy were. I hoped they were safe.

And as I reached those final steps, I knew this was quite possibly the stupidest thing I’d ever done.

Ruv went left, just as I’d told him to. As he went, he curled the arm holding the wooden contraption against his chest, then flung it out in a flat arc. The hinges creaked as the board unfolded and the sail rose.

My feet caught the edge of the island, leg muscles coiling, and I pushed myself off into nothing.

It was a good jump. Really, ten out of ten. If I’d seen anyone else do it, I probably would have cheered and thought how cool it was.

But since it was me leaping above the cavern, I couldn’t help but shriek quite loudly, because that shit was insane. I was going to have to have a talk with the others about allowing me to do such stupid things without thinking of the repercussions.

And it was then—flying through the air, trying to reach for Ruv’s sailboard like I had any idea how to use it, a gigantic snake dragon monster thing beginning to flap its wings to lift off and take after me—that I had a very real thought about the state of my life.

The thought?

I might be a fucking idiot.

And there was green and gold as my hand wrapped around the pole that held up the sail. There was red and yellowyellowyellow as I pulled it toward me, putting my feet down on the wooden board as I felt the ominous tilt that signaled a descent.

Jekhipe snarled behind me.

And I pushed.

The magic that had been crawling along my skin burst outward in a brightly colored flash. It hit the sail, causing it to stretch out like it’d been hit with a gale force wind. Instead of falling, the board started to tilt back up, and it was going to be enough. I was going to make it to the other side. I was going to clear this motherfucking jump and it was going to be awesome and I—

I started to fall again.

“Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuckfuckfuck!”

My magic was going haywire, creating short, sharp bursts that hit the sail, causing me to jerk forward, but not enough to lift me up. I couldn’t find the edges to grasp on to it, to hold it close, to force it to do what I wanted to do. I thought maybe it had to do with the burst of energy I’d used against the sand mermaids. Magic wasn’t infinite. There wasn’t an endless well within that I could draw from. Used long and hard enough, I felt drained, tired, weak.

Sort of like I was feeling right now.

As I started to plummet into the cavern.

I had three choices here:

I could get eaten by Jekhipe.

I could smash into the side of the cavern.

I could fall all the way to the bottom.

None of those sounded like a good way to go. In fact, they all sounded terrible.

And just as I was sure I was about cross the veil, there came the most idiotic and wonderful thing I’d ever heard in my life bellowing out above me.

“Duh da da daaaaaaaaaaaaa! Kevin’s here to save the daaaaaaaaaay!”

I looked up.

Kevin was dive-bombing directly toward me.

Jekhipe curled in the air, eyes darting from me to Kevin, like it was trying to decide who to go after.

It decided on me.

So there I was, with a dragon the size of a large house with his wings tucked at his sides plunging toward me, and another dragon made of nightmares, jaws open, ready to force me down its considerable gullet, all while I was falling to my death in a cavern I’d made when I’d vaporized sand mermaids so they wouldn’t eat my boyfriend and my half-giant.

Yeah. I know.

Fuck my life.

It happened quicker than I expected.

Kevin twisted himself until he could stretch a clawed hand toward me.

Jekhipe’s tongue came out, and I could almost feel it on my skin.

Kevin pinched the pole holding up the sail between two claws, digging into the wood.

“You better hold on to something,” he shouted gleefully.

“Oh no,” I said.

His wings snapped open, catching an updraft.

Instead of falling, suddenly we were shooting upward, my gut immediately sinking to my feet as I fell flat on my stomach, stretching out along the board, holding on for dear life.

I looked down in time to see Jekhipe fly right under us with a snarl of outrage. If I were so inclined, I could have reached down and touched it since it was so close.

Kevin allowed the wind to fill the membranes of his wings, stretching them out and pulling us upward. He curled his arm, bringing me closer to his body.

“Who’s a badass?” he crowed.

I vomited over the side of the board.

“Oh gods. Why do you always do that when we fly?”

“My bad,” I said feebly, spitting out a gross something. “Maybe it has to do with the fact that I almost died.”

“Yeah, and whose fault is that? By the way, I’m pretty sure your knight shit himself silly when you jumped. You might want to prepare yourself for an epic ass whooping when we get back. If you want to repay me for saving your life yet again, you could let me watch said ass whooping. He’s got such big hands—”

Jekhipe roared again behind us.

“Godsdammit,” I said, looking back. “Even you weren’t this much of a pain in my ass.”

“Yeah, only because you won’t let me—”

“Not the time!”

“It’s never the time!”

“Where are we going?”

“Back to the island.”

And we were. Kevin had circled around and was flying lower and lower. “What! No! You can’t bring that thing back to everyone else. Kevin, what the hell!”

“You stupid idiot,” he said fondly. “We’re in this together. And that’s the way it’s going to be.”

And for once, I couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

We landed quickly, Kevin coming in and hitting the ground running as he held me up and away so I wouldn’t fall. He slid to a halt near the dome, kicking up the dust around us. I jumped off the board and could barely resist falling to my knees and kissing the sweet, sweet earth beneath my feet.

Instead I was manhandled into a hug by a pair of strong arms, a face mashed against my neck, breath heavy against my skin.

“I hate you so much right now,” Ryan Foxheart said hoarsely. “You have no idea.”

I hugged him back. “Would it help if I said sorry?”

He pulled back, a scowl on his face. “Sorry. You’re sorry. You… you… mothercracker.”

I grinned at him.

His nose wrinkled. “Why do you smell like vomit?”

“Annnnnd moment over,” I said, stepping out of his arms.

“Did you vomit because your tummy got sick?” Gary asked sympathetically. “He’s got a very sensitive tummy, in case you didn’t know. Yes. Yes, you do.”

“Shut up,” I muttered. “We don’t have time—”

The ground shook.

I turned.

Jekhipe slithered toward us, stopping a short distance away. It reared back. Its hood shook. Its teeth were bared.

Ryan stood to my right. Ruv was at my left. Gary stood behind me, head over my shoulder. Tiggy was next to him, pressing up against my back. Kevin towered over us, wings spread, snarling in anger.

“Oh my gods,” I whispered reverently. “I bet we look so fucking cool right now. Shit! I gotta say something witty!”

“Sam,” Ryan said, exasperated. He flourished his sword because he couldn’t not. “We don’t have time—”

“I got it!” I puffed out my chest and glared at Jekhipe. “I feel like playing dice, boys. I just need some snake eyes.”

Everyone groaned.

“What! That was good!”

“Is it possible he’s getting worse?” Gary asked. “Because it seems like he’s getting worse.”

“He so special,” Tiggy cooed.

And then, because I wanted to get this godsdamned show on the road, I bent over, picked up a good-sized stone, and chucked it at the motherfucking snake dragon monster thing.

It was a good throw, if I do say so myself.

Especially since it hit Jekhipe right in the eye.

“Ha!” I crowed. “Take that, motherfucker!”

And Jekhipe said, “Ow! Why you gotta be so mean like that?”

I scoffed. “Because you deserved—wait. What.”