Chapter
28

Ann Fielding’s arrival caused a flurry of excitement at Hartford Hall. Molly practically danced down the steps to greet the carriage with Aunt Iris right behind her. Hannah, however, hung back from the open doorway, shivering under her shawl. She’d worn her favorite dress for the occasion—lilac silk trimmed with lace and imitation roses. Her aunt’s maid had curled Hannah’s hair in a most becoming fashion, looping the ringlets to frame her face. Hannah made a mental note to have the girl re-create the same hairstyle whenever she would next see Nolan.

Her heart tugged at the thought of her handsome husband—if he indeed was still her husband. It had been so long since she’d seen him, she wondered if she could still remember his features. Once etched with precision on her memory, his face now blurred like an image in a distorted mirror. She thrust her hand into her pocket and fingered his last letter, which she’d kept with her since it arrived. A very nice note, one she could recall with word-for-word accuracy, but not filled with the declarations of love and pining she longed for.

Was Nolan missing her at all? He sounded so busy with all his duties and taking care of poor, dear Bert that it seemed he barely had time to give her a passing thought.

Hannah’s hand drifted over her now expansive abdomen where the babe kicked and squirmed. She welcomed these stirrings of life inside her. Each day, she came closer to holding her child in her arms. A child who would love her with an unwavering devotion. And whom she would love equally in return.

Perhaps then she would at last feel whole.

“Hannah, dear. Here is your mother.” Iris ushered Mum through the door into the vestibule.

Hannah took a moment to observe her. Though younger than Iris, hard work outdoors in the elements made her mother appear years older. Her faded brown hair, streaked with gray, framed a plain face, lined from years of worry and hardship, yet her eyes sparked with a light of welcome as she came forward to greet Hannah.

She pressed her cheek to Hannah’s, then stepped back to study her. “My word, look at you dressed up like a real lady.” In contrast, Mum smoothed down her brown cotton dress—most likely her Sunday best. Moisture filmed her eyes. “You’re beautiful, Hannah. As I always knew you would be.”

Hannah’s heart swelled. “It’s good to see you, Mum.” For once the words were true. Somehow here, without the fear of Mr. Fielding looming over her shoulder, her mother appeared lighter, happier.

Mum turned and held out a hand to Molly. “And look at my wee Molly. You seem all grown up too.”

“It’s the lovely clothes Aunt Iris ordered for me. Underneath, I’m still the same.” Molly laughed.

Iris threw her arms around them and squeezed. “Come, darlings. Let’s get comfortable in the parlor with a nice cup of tea.”

For an hour, Hannah and Molly listened politely while her mother and aunt caught up on years of news.

At last, Mum set her cup down and turned her attention to Hannah. “Now where is that handsome husband of yours?”

Hannah licked lips that had suddenly gone dry. “Nolan is at Stainsby Hall.”

“What? Why would a man not be with his wife? Especially at a time like this.” She looked pointedly at Hannah’s abdomen.

“Nolan is getting to know his father,” Iris explained. “And learning the ways of the nobility, while Hannah is resting and taking care of her health, away from any potential conflict.”

“What sort of conflict?”

Hannah kept her gaze trained on the delicate patterns in the carpet. “The earl does not approve of our marriage and, in fact, may have”—she swallowed—“had it annulled.”

Her mother gasped. “This is terrible. Your poor child will be a—”

“I’m quite aware of that.”

“I’m sure it will all get worked out before long,” Iris added quickly. “In the meantime, Hannah and the baby are always welcome here—marriage or no marriage.”

“That is most generous of you, Iris.” She shot Hannah a frown of disapproval. “But what have you done to drive Nolan away?”

Barbs of pain lodged in Hannah’s chest. Of course, it had to be all her fault. Just like everything that happened during her childhood with her siblings. From a bruised knee to a broken cup, it would always be Hannah’s fault.

“The doctor has recommended that Hannah avoid stress,” Iris said. “She’s only following orders. I’m sure Nolan will show up very soon to remedy matters.”

Would he? Sudden tears burned Hannah’s throat. Other than a few impersonal letters, Nolan had not initiated contact. Had never indicated that he missed her or that he was ready to resume their marriage.

Just as Hannah feared, it seemed she didn’t matter enough.

She pushed to her feet, clutching her stomach. “Excuse me, please. I think I need to lie down for a while.”

And before anyone could deter her, she rushed out the door.

Nolan strode into the drawing room where his father had requested his presence. They didn’t often use this room, since it was smaller than the formal parlor and decidedly more feminine—perhaps decorated by Penelope Fairchild or Nolan’s late grandmother. The room afforded a grand view of the Stainsby gardens, now mostly dormant due to the cold weather.

Edward stood at the long window, staring at the bleak landscape.

Nolan paused in the doorway. “You wished to see me?”

“Nolan.” He turned with a brief smile. “Come in. I have news.”

“What kind of news?” Nolan crossed the floor. Fragrant bouquets of flowers from the Stainsby hothouse sat atop the piano, lightly scenting the room.

“I have received an invitation to Hartford Hall.”

The mere mention of Hannah’s place of exile made Nolan’s pulse sprint. “From whom?”

“From the duchess herself. It seems that Mrs. Fielding is visiting and Lady Hartford wishes to host a gathering in her honor. A type of family reunion, I believe, is how she put it.”

Nolan’s thoughts swirled. Hannah’s mother at Hartford? Surely he would be invited too. “Did Lady Hartford mention my presence at this gathering?”

Edward moved to a table beside the piano where he picked up a square of vellum paper. He scanned the missive. “Yes, your name is here as well.”

“Was there any note from Hannah?”

“No. Just the invitation and a short note from the duchess.”

His stomach fell. Why wouldn’t Hannah have sent a personal message, indicating her wish for him to come? Hadn’t he honored her request and kept away, giving her the space she claimed to need? How much more time did she require?

A cloud of frustration pushed Nolan to pace the carpet. “Edward, I need to know once and for all the true state of my marriage.”

Several weeks back, when Nolan had mentioned the annulment again, Edward had mumbled something about the matter taking more time than Mr. Grayson expected. And once again, Nolan had let the matter drop, loath to damage the fragile bond they had established. Why hadn’t he followed up more forcefully? “Did your solicitor manage to overturn the annulment?”

“No, he did not,” Edward admitted after several seconds.

Nolan’s heart sunk. So they were no longer married after all. “I thought you said things were in the works to rescind it.”

“I may have . . . misrepresented the matter.” Edward’s glance slid away.

Nolan’s nerves stretched as tight as violin strings. “What exactly does that mean?”

It occurred to him now that his father could have been stalling all along on purpose. Perhaps he’d never had any intention of having the annulment overturned. Perhaps Nolan had been a fool to trust him.

Edward walked to the other side of the piano, hands clasped behind him. “The truth is . . . Mr. Grayson never filed the papers in the first place. After I learned of Hannah’s condition and discovered that he still had the document, I told him to hold off.”

“You what?” Disbelief roared through Nolan as he struggled to take in the meaning of his father’s admission. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why lie to me all this time?”

Edward looked Nolan in the eye. “I feared if you knew, you would have no reason to stay. As long as this legal entanglement hung over your head, I could keep you here.” He let out a sigh. “It was wrong of me, and I apologize.”

A mixture of emotions swirled though Nolan’s system. Outrage that Edward had purposely misled him all this time and blessed relief that an annulment had never taken place.

“So Hannah and I are still legally married?”

“As far as I know, yes.”

“And my status as your heir?”

Edward winced. “Still unofficial.” A hint of fear flashed through his eyes.

Did his father not believe that after all Nolan had been through these past six months that he had accepted his role as Edward’s son? Too many secrets and ambiguities remained between them.

Edward came around the piano to stand beside Nolan. “I deeply regret any harm I’ve caused.” He lifted a hand as though to touch Nolan’s shoulder, then let it drop. “I want you to know how much this time with you has meant to me. I only hope you can one day forgive me.” His eyes were shadowed with sincere remorse.

Nolan ran a hand over his jaw. As the stress of the past several months faded, so did his anger. Holding a grudge against his father would serve no purpose. Would do nothing toward helping Nolan achieve his goal of a reunion with Hannah.

But one major hurdle remained. Hannah had said she wouldn’t return until she had Edward’s blessing. He lifted his head to meet his father’s uncertain stare. “May I ask if your opinion of my marriage has changed? Or do you still oppose it with every breath?”

Edward hesitated, then gave a slight shrug. “A funny thing has occurred over these past months. I have been forced to reevaluate many things in my life and during this time of introspection, I have come to realize that your wife gave us both a great gift when she left.”

“How so?”

Edward’s lips twitched, as though recalling something amusing. “I never told you that Hannah came to see me the morning she departed. She advised me to use the time to discover what a wonderful man my son was. At the time, I was glad to be rid of her and did not think much of her words. But I’ve been giving the matter a great deal of thought as of late.”

He turned back to the piano, fingering the note from Lady Hartford. “The duchess has given me some recent written counsel as well. She asked me to think about what I wanted my future to look like. Did I want a family filled with resentment and bitterness? Or did I want a united, loving family that would provide a nurturing environment for my grandchild?” He straightened and gave Nolan a pained glance. “You once asked me if I regretted my life, and I answered untruthfully, for I could not admit to making a mistake. The truth is that I do regret it—most grievously. I regret those lonely, wasted years that caused me to harden into a man I did not recognize.” He moved closer and placed solid hands on Nolan’s shoulders. “I do not wish to see you repeat the same miserable life, nor do I wish to see my grandchild grow up without a father.”

Nolan’s chest squeezed. “Nor do I,” he said quietly.

“I have watched you do your best these many months to conform to your new role, doing all I have asked of you and more. I now wish to return the favor. Come with me.”

Edward strode out into the corridor. Nolan followed somewhat tentatively. They entered his study, where Edward pulled open a desk drawer. With a flip of his hand, he removed some papers. “These are the documents you signed so long ago. Do with them as you wish. I’ve already advised Mr. Grayson to draw up new papers regarding your status as my heir.”

Nolan stepped forward to take the document, warring emotions churning in his gut. “Does this mean that you are finally willing to accept Hannah as my wife?”

Edward’s gaze remained steady. “From what I’ve observed, I believe her to be a woman of substance. Anyone who would sacrifice her own happiness to give her husband the opportunity to figure out his place in life is a worthy woman indeed.”

Nolan’s mouth fell open. The words on the pages bled together into one black mass—as dark as his sordid soul. How had he not understood her true motives? “Hannah did say something to that effect, but I didn’t listen. I was certain she was using it as an excuse to punish me.”

“Punish you for what?”

“For neglecting her.” A wave of shame rolled over Nolan, making his cravat feel much too tight. “For not putting her needs ahead of mine. For not protecting her from that beast Bellows and allowing possible harm to come to our child.”

Edward moved closer, his eyes solemn. “I believe that is your own guilt talking. I sincerely doubt Hannah viewed it that way at all.”

Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

One of his mother’s favorite Bible verses came to mind with startling clarity. Nolan raked his fingers through his hair. “I have allowed my pride to keep me away all this time. Nursing my resentment and anger at her for leaving me.” His throat clogged with an uprising of emotion. “I’ve been a first-class fool.”

Forgive me, Lord, and let Hannah forgive me as well. I forgot to put God in the middle of my marriage as Reverend Black advised. Perhaps if I had, things wouldn’t have gone so awry.

Edward draped his arm across Nolan’s shoulders with a rare grin. “I fear my son takes after his father in more than just looks.”

Nolan stiffened. Was it true? Was he really as arrogant and prideful as his father?

Edward stepped back and clapped a hand on Nolan’s shoulder. “It’s not too late to rectify this mess. Come with me to Hartford Hall and make amends with your wife. I’m sure if you grovel enough, she’ll forgive you and take you back in time to see your child born.”

Sudden energy surged through Nolan. “You’re right. It’s long past the time for action. And the first thing I will do is this.” He grabbed the papers from the desktop, strode across the room, and flung them into the fire. With great satisfaction, he watched them curl and blacken.

As if in concurrence with Nolan’s actions, the mantel clock chimed the hour.

“I will go to Hartford. But I will go on my own. There’s an urgent matter I need to take care of first.”

The earl blinked, brows hiked. “Very well. I plan to leave at first light tomorrow. When I arrive, shall I tell them to expect you?”

Nolan smiled his first real smile in months. “No. I think I’d prefer the element of surprise in my favor.”