Chapter
30

Nolan straightened his cravat as he stepped from the carriage in front of Hartford Hall. His stomach tightened, and his palms grew damp despite the cool temperature. How would Hannah receive him? With love or contempt? With forgiveness or fury?

He would have been here days sooner, if not for the schedule of the man who shared his carriage.

“Wait here until I send for you,” he said to his traveling companion. “I hope it won’t take too long.”

“No rush. This is a most comfortable carriage.” The man settled back against the cushioned seat and closed his eyes.

Another coach would arrive shortly with Victoria and Aunt Ophelia. Nolan hoped that Evelyn and Orville would be able to make the trip as well. It was time they all came together as a family. Yet the fact that the pair had gone out of their way to avoid him did not bode well.

Nolan frowned. Another piece of news added to his edginess. He’d had a note from the constabulary in Derby, stating that in light of Nolan’s previous inquiry about Timothy Bellows and the possible threat made against Nolan’s family, they wished to inform him that Bellows had recently escaped from jail. Though the authorities doubted he’d have the gall to come anywhere near Stainsby Hall, they advised the earl and his family to take whatever precautions they deemed necessary. Nolan set his jaw, vowing to do so as soon as he returned home. For the present, he was relieved that Hannah and Molly were nowhere near Stainsby.

Nolan shook off his thoughts and started up the stairs to the front door. How differently he approached the great ivy-covered mansion on this occasion. His first time here, he had stormed in full of anger and pride, demanding to see his wife. Now he arrived in humility, coming to beg his wife’s forgiveness, his pride in tatters around his feet.

Once again, Mr. Carstairs answered Nolan’s knock.

Nolan gave a bow. “Good day. May I speak with the Duchess of Hartford—in private, if possible?”

“Please come in.” The man’s pinched features belied his polite words.

“Thank you.” Nolan followed the butler inside.

“If you’ll wait here, I’ll see if Her Grace is available.” The older man shuffled off down one of the corridors.

Nolan paced the vestibule, praying for the Lord’s guidance. He needed to ensure that he acted with complete respect and sensitivity for Hannah’s feelings, as a true husband should.

A few moments later, the duchess herself came out to greet him. “Nolan, thank heaven you’ve come at last.” She leaned forward to kiss his cheek, moisture skimming her gray eyes.

“It’s good to see you again, Lady Hartford. Is everything all right?”

“Please, you must call me Iris.” She smiled. “Come and we’ll speak in my husband’s old study. We’ll have more privacy there.” She led him down a corridor toward the back of the house. At the end of the hall, she opened a door and entered a dark, musty room.

He waited while she threw open the heavy draperies to let in the sunlight and motioned him to take a seat in front of a carved desk.

“I’m sorry this room is a little stale. I haven’t come in here much since Edgar died.” She took a seat beside him. “I wanted to speak to you about Hannah before she knows you’re here.”

“Why? Is something wrong?” Tension banded like steel across his shoulders.

She laid a comforting hand on his arm. “Everything’s fine now, although we had a scare the other day.”

“What kind of scare?” His heart galloped faster than King racing through a field.

“Hannah started having early labor pains, but the doctor gave her a tonic that managed to stop them. She’s only been allowed out of bed since yesterday.”

Nolan lunged to his feet, ready to charge through the house to find Hannah.

Iris gripped his arm with surprising strength. “Please sit down. There’s more you need to know.”

On a deep inhale, he resumed his seat and prayed for the patience to handle whatever else she had to say. “Go on.”

The duchess kept a light hand on his arm as though she didn’t quite trust him. “Hannah has been very distressed lately. She seems to be wrestling with some sort of inner demons that she won’t speak about. Part of the issue has been her mother’s arrival. In fact, it was during a rather heated conversation with Ann that Hannah’s pains worsened.”

Nolan gripped the wooden arms of the chair as though he might snap them in two. As soon as he could, he would speak to his mother-in-law about the deplorable way she treated her daughter.

Iris must have seen the anger on his face, for she quickly added, “They have made their peace now, thank the Lord. However, the doctor told us that Hannah must remain calm in order to avoid the contractions starting again. If you wish to see her, you mustn’t upset her. It could cost her the baby—as well as her own life.”

A cold ball of fear lodged in Nolan’s chest. The possibility of losing Hannah was something he could not even let his mind consider. He raised his gaze to Iris. “What do you want me to do?”

“We must take this reunion with extreme caution. First, I must prepare her for your presence. The shock of seeing you without warning would surely send her into labor.”

Nolan bowed his head over his clasped hands. So much for surprising his wife, but perhaps this way was better. His head jerked up at the recollection of the man waiting outside in the carriage and the entourage Nolan expected any moment.

“Perhaps I’d best explain my whole plan, Iris, for I’ll need your help to make it happen.”

Hannah paused at the bottom of the staircase, proud to have managed without the earl’s assistance. She’d awoken with a new determination today, a new strength. The mending of her relationship with her mother, as well as the earl’s unexpected support, had put things into a new perspective. She wasn’t proud to admit it, but she’d been wallowing in self-pity, a most unattractive state, and one she vowed to rectify immediately. And so she had started her morning with a prayer of thanksgiving to God and a resolve to put her trust more firmly in Him. She had to believe that everything would work out as the Lord intended. And that Nolan would find his way back to her.

To that end, Hannah had at last taken matters into her own hands and penned a truly honest letter to her husband. One that apologized for any hurt she had caused and for her fear that had kept her from him for so long. She wrote of her unwavering love and that no matter what he decided for his future, whether it included her or not, she would bear him no ill will. That he would always have a place in his child’s life, and that she would continue to advocate for his happiness.

Hannah patted the letter in her pocket, which she intended to have her aunt post this very day. Just committing her true feelings to paper had lifted a terrible burden from her soul and filled her with peace.

She headed down the hallway, suddenly aware that an odd hush surrounded the house. She’d expected to hear Aunt Iris’s voice in the parlor, or Molly’s precious chatter, but only silence met her ears as she made her way to the dining room. Even Carstairs was noticeably absent.

Because she’d risen much later than the rest of the household, breakfast would be long over. She would ask the cook for some toast and tea.

The unexpected sight of her aunt at the dining table made her smile. “Good morning, Auntie. How are you today?”

“Very well, my dear. You slept well, I trust?”

Hannah removed a lid from the silver platter on the sideboard, pleased to note some scrambled eggs remained. “Yes, though I fear I stayed too long abed.” She chose a sausage and some toast to complement the eggs.

“Nonsense. You need all the rest you can get before the babe arrives.” The teacup in Iris’s hand trembled on its saucer.

Hannah set her plate on the table with a slight frown. “Is everything all right, Auntie? Why are you not with Edward this morning?”

“He is out walking with Molly and Daisy. Come and sit beside me. There is something we need to discuss.” Her aunt’s normally sparkling eyes remained solemn.

Hannah’s heart clutched as she took a seat next to her.

“You must promise to remain calm at what I’m about to tell you. It’s not bad news. At least I hope it’s not.”

Hannah swallowed. “I’ll do my best.”

Her aunt pressed her lips together, then exhaled. “I’ve heard from Nolan.”

Despite her promise, Hannah’s pulse quickened. Why had he contacted her aunt instead of her? Her mouth went dry and she licked her lips to moisten them. “What did his letter say?”

The clock on the sideboard ticked loudly in the silence.

“I didn’t receive a letter.” Her aunt reached out to cover Hannah’s hands with her own cool fingers. “Nolan is here, Hannah.”

The air whooshed out of her lungs, while the room’s floral wallpaper swirled around her. Her heart threatened to leap from her chest.

Nolan was here—in this house—at this very moment!

“You don’t have to see him if it will cause you distress. I have explained your condition, and he understands.”

Hannah inhaled deeply, thinking of the letter she had written him only hours earlier. Nolan had come to her at last. She owed it to him and to their child to face her future with courage.

Iris had risen to pour her a glass of water. “Here, dear. Drink this.”

Obediently she sipped the cool liquid, grateful for the relief to her parched throat.

She met her aunt’s gaze. “Could you have Nolan meet me in the parlor in five minutes?”

“Are you certain you won’t be putting the baby in jeopardy?”

Hannah straightened her spine against the back of the chair. “Not knowing where I stand with my husband would be worse for our child. I need to resolve the situation one way or the other.”

“Very well, then. Five minutes.”

In the musty study, Nolan paced the length of the carpet until he feared the pattern would wear away. What on earth was taking Iris so long? Had Hannah refused to see him?

His insides twisted more with each passing minute.

At last, the door opened and the duchess entered. She smoothed the skirts of her blue dress and came toward him.

Nolan met her halfway. “Well? How did Hannah take the news?”

“She was shocked, naturally, but she wants to see you. She’s asked for a few minutes to prepare herself.” Iris clasped his hand and squeezed. “I will be praying for you both. That God will grant you the wisdom and strength to heal your marriage.”

“Thank you. I’ve been praying for that same outcome myself.”

Five minutes later, Nolan stood outside the parlor, palms slick with sweat as he knocked on the door.

“Come in.” Hannah’s sweet voice met his ears.

The voice he hadn’t heard in six months.

He ran his fingers over his hair and straightened his waistcoat.

Lord, if ever I’ve needed your guidance, it’s now. Give me the grace to win back my wife’s affections—without causing her any distress.

He stepped through the door. The sunlight streaming through the large rectangular windows blinded him momentarily. He blinked to refocus, then turned to the settee where Hannah sat like a queen on her throne.

Nolan forgot to breathe. He drank in her beauty like a thirsty man finding an oasis in the desert. She was more beautiful than ever with her blond locks curling down over one shoulder. Instead of servant’s garb, she wore a gown of the softest yellow that rivaled the sunbeams dancing over the carpet.

“Hannah.” Her name was a whisper on his lips.

“Hello, Nolan. It’s good to see you.” She held herself rigid on her seat. Her calm green eyes gave away nothing.

His gaze dropped to her waistline, and his jaw dropped. Gone was the slim maiden he had fallen in love with. In her place, a mature woman bloomed with health, ripe with the new life within her. Her hand moved to cover her abdomen as if protecting the child from him. The pain of that small motion cut through him like a lance.

“You look beautiful.” He wanted to move closer, but his feet rooted themselves to the floor.

“Thank you, though I feel like a lumbering ox most times.” Her lips tipped upward into a smile. “You look very nice too. Like a true gentleman.”

He forced his feet to move across the floor and took a seat on one of the armchairs where he could look her in the eye.

Hannah twisted a handkerchief between her fingers. “Before you say anything,” she said. “I need to ask your forgiveness—for leaving the way I did. I realize now how unfair it was to you.”

“You needn’t apologize, Hannah. You were protecting our child. I understand that.”

She lowered her head. “I was also running away. And for that I’m truly sorry.”

Frustration built an uncomfortable pressure in his chest. He wanted to shout his feelings from the roof, not weigh each word before he spoke. But for her sake, he would contain himself. “I’m the one who needs forgiveness, Hannah. Not you.”

Confusion clouded her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but he held up a hand to stop her. “Please,” he said. “I need to say a few things without interruption. After that, you can tell me whatever you wish.”

“Very well.”

He fisted his hands on his lap, then forced them to relax, splayed loosely on his knees. “These past months, I spent every day sitting through instructions on what the nobility eats, wears, and thinks. Though mad with the tedium, I did it for you—or so I told myself—all the while congratulating myself on how noble I was in giving you the space and the tranquility you said you needed. I waited patiently for my wife to come to her senses, to let me know she needed me, wanted me with her, yet nothing but a few polite letters arrived.” Unable to remain seated, he pushed to his feet and paced in front of the settee. “I told myself I was doing the right thing, honoring your request, and patted myself on the back for it. It took my father to make me realize I was suffering from a severe case of pride.”

A slight frown creased her forehead, but she remained silent.

“I was too proud,” he continued. “Too angry and hurt to follow my heart and come for you. I have been steeping in sin all these months, letting it fester inside like an infected wound, instead of trying to see the situation from your viewpoint.” He came to kneel in front of her, taking one of her hands in his. “Can you ever forgive me for being such a fool?”

“Oh, Nolan. I have felt so alone.” Tears brimmed on Hannah’s lower lashes. “So afraid that you didn’t want me now that you were getting used to life as the earl’s son.” She held the handkerchief to her nose. “I feared you would only want the child—and not me.”

Nolan hung his head. “It’s because I left you alone too long.”

“To a degree. But for the most part, it was my own insecurity.” She paused. “Ever since my mother left me at Stainsby, I have felt undeserving of love. If my own mother didn’t love me, or want me, why would anyone else?” More tears flowed down her cheeks.

Restraint gone, Nolan moved up to the settee and gathered Hannah into his arms. “Hush. You mustn’t upset yourself.” He drank in the familiar feel of her in his arms, the wondrous scent of her hair. When she seemed calmer, he held her away from him to study her.

She gave him a tremulous smile. “It’s all right. I’ve finally made peace with Mum, and I feel better about things now.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Though there is one more thing that has weighed on my mind.” He hesitated, a clutch of trepidation gnawing at him. “I fear that I rushed you into marriage before you had time to consider it fully. I didn’t give you a chance to refuse. Didn’t take time to listen to what you wanted.”

“That’s not—”

“So I am asking you now with the sincerest humility—Hannah, do you wish to be married to me?” His heart thudded, awaiting her reply. What would he do if she wished to end their relationship?

“Are we not already married? Or did your father succeed in annulling our marriage?”

“That’s not the point.” With effort, he reined in his frustration. “If you were a free woman right now, would you still wish to marry me?” Perhaps it was pride, perhaps insecurity, but he needed to know that despite everything, she would still choose to share her life with him.

She stiffened within his arms and raised her chin. “Only if you truly love me. Not for the child I carry, but for who I am inside.”

His shoulders slumped with the enormity of her question. How could he ever convince her of that? Get past her emotional scars and make her see the truth?

Speak from your heart, an inner voice urged.

He swallowed the last remnant of his pride and allowed his heart to take over. “I have always loved you for who you are, Hannah. It doesn’t matter to me if you wear a servant’s apron or a gown of the finest silk; if you’re as slender as a reed or large with child. It’s your soul that I love. You are a woman of courage and faith who keeps me grounded.” He took one of her hands in his. “I thought my life would be complete once I knew my father, but I was wrong. My life is only complete with you there to share it. It has taken me this long to figure out that I am worthy in my own right of such love, not because of who my father is, but because I’m the man my mother raised me to be. The man my heavenly Father shaped me to be.” He paused to wipe the tears from her cheek. “And this man, with all his flaws, wants you to share his life—whatever that turns out to be.” He waited for her response, not daring to breathe.

Misery swirled in her eyes. “What if I don’t fit into your new life?” she whispered.

“Then we’ll go elsewhere. Live the simple life we’d originally planned and raise our child to be a kind, considerate, faith-filled person.”

“You would give up your inheritance for me?”

“I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. I only wish I had done so up until now.” He raised her hand to his lips.

A tremulous smile broke through her tears. “In that case, Mr. Price, I would be honored to be your wife—again. For better or worse.”

“So I haven’t destroyed your love for me?”

She reached out to cup his jaw. “I’ll never stop loving you, Nolan. My heart doesn’t know how.”

His vision blurred with tears of his own as he pulled her to him, his mouth claiming hers at last. Their breath mingled, entwining their souls in a long-awaited reunion. He placed a gentle hand on the swell of her abdomen, on the miraculous embodiment of their love.

A ripple under his fingers made him jump. “What is that? Have I kissed you too hard?”

Hannah’s rich laughter pealed through the room. “No, that is your son or daughter claiming our attention. I have a feeling this little one will be very demanding, based on all the trouble he or she has caused already.”

Relief coursed through him, as did the sudden recollection of the rest of his plan. “I have one more surprise, if you think you can handle it.” He searched her face for any sign of fatigue or discomfort, but all he saw was his own joy reflected back.

“What kind of surprise?”

“I fear our wedding was a rather rushed affair. More of an elopement, and not likely the ceremony you’d dreamed of having.”

“Nolan, no—”

He placed a finger against her lips. “Since we have most of our family here in one place, would you be willing to repeat our vows?”

“Now?” Her green eyes widened.

He grinned, liquid happiness spilling through his veins. “As soon as you can get ready. I fear we’ve kept the good reverend waiting long enough as it is.”