Chapter
8

Hannah sat on the side of the bed, her Bible open on her lap. The candle on her table flickered, casting restless shadows on the walls. Outside, the incessant cascade of rain on the windows seemed in keeping with her mood. If only she could concentrate on the words before her, they might bring her a measure of comfort. But her agitated state made concentration impossible.

She hadn’t seen Nolan since the earl had summoned him away from the funeral reception. He’d indicated they would talk later, and she’d expected him to come down to the kitchen after his meeting, but he never appeared. Not even to take his dinner with the rest of the servants.

Now, sometime after midnight, Hannah tried to imagine what could have happened. She didn’t have to be a scholar to know that Lord Stainsby would expect great changes in Nolan’s life. That as the earl’s son he would no longer be allowed to associate with the servants, nor live in the stable.

Would the newness of the situation cause Nolan to set aside his own plans for the future to please his father?

The selfish part of her hoped he would choose a life with her over his noble roots. But would that really be fair to him?

She sighed, laid the Bible back on the table, and crossed the room to the plain wooden dresser where she picked up her hairbrush. Perhaps the soothing strokes would help calm her nerves. Hannah sat back on the thin mattress and loosened her braids until her hair fell in waves to her waist. As she brushed the silken strands, her thoughts turned to Molly. How Hannah used to love to comb her baby sister’s blonde curls when she was young. Did Molly even remember that now?

It had been several years since Hannah had traveled to her mother’s farmhouse. The last trip had been a disaster, and she hadn’t had the courage to repeat it since. Her mother’s husband had made her feel most unwelcome, and Mum had flitted around trying to placate him. In addition, when it was time for Hannah to leave, Molly had begged to come with her, and that more than anything had broken her heart.

A flash of guilt surfaced. In all the upheaval with Nolan, she hadn’t had much time to dwell on Molly’s predicament. With Nolan’s whole future hanging in the balance, it didn’t seem fair to remind him about his promise to help her sister. Even before any mention of Molly’s upcoming betrothal, they had talked about bringing her to live on the farm with them. But if Nolan now chose to forfeit the purchase, Hannah would have to come up with another solution for her sister.

A sharp knock sounded at her door.

She jumped, and the brush slipped from her fingers. “Who’s there?”

“It’s me,” a familiar voice whispered.

Nolan? What on earth was he doing here at this late hour?

“Just a minute.” Hannah grabbed her robe off the hook on the door and quickly wrapped it around her. Nerves skittered along her spine. If anyone found Nolan here on the third floor, in the female quarters no less, they would both be in the worst kind of trouble. Going to see Nolan in the barn hadn’t felt half this risky.

She inched the door open with only the smallest of creaks.

Nolan stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

The room seemed to shrink with the breadth of Nolan’s shoulders taking up most of the space. She clutched the neckline of her robe and stepped back. “Nolan, you shouldn’t be here.”

“Forgive me, Hannah, but I had to speak with you. I waited until I thought everyone would be abed for the night and snuck in the back door.” He scanned her from the top of her head to her bare feet, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. When his eyes met hers, they held a hint of wildness that unnerved Hannah.

“Where have you been? You missed the evening meal.”

Her question snapped him out of his trance. “Sit down, love. You’re trembling.”

Her knees were indeed shaking. Not daring to sit on the bed, she perched on the wooden chair in the corner. Hands clutched together on her lap, she waited for Nolan to explain himself.

For several moments, he paced the tight area. “When are you next free for a day or two?”

Her mouth fell open at the unexpected question. “I—I have a few days owing to me. I hadn’t planned when to take them.”

“Can you tell Mrs. Bridges you need them as soon as possible? Say that you’re worried about your sister and wish to make the trip to see her.”

The urgency in his voice created spasms in her stomach. “Why? What is this about?”

Nolan’s behavior was not at all in keeping with his usual calm demeanor. Her unease must have shown, for he bent one knee on the floor before her and took her hand in his. “You deserve so much better than this, Hannah. I promise I will make it up to you.”

Her throat constricted. Had his father forbidden them to be together? Was he telling her good-bye?

“Hannah, I love you, and I cannot picture my life without you.” His intense blue eyes bore into her. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

She gasped. A thousand thoughts swirled through her brain, fighting for a foothold. On all the occasions she’d hoped he’d reveal his heart, this time she was not prepared. “What about Lord Stainsby?”

“This has nothing to do with him.” He scowled, but then let out a sigh. “I had planned to propose the night I made the deal with Mr. Simpson. But circumstances with my mother intervened.” He caressed her hand with his thumb, his eyes softening. “So I’m asking you now. Will you marry me, Hannah?”

A few days ago, she would have answered without hesitation. But after everything that had happened and all the uncertainty between them, she needed reassurance. “I’ll not give my answer until you tell me what went on between you and the earl.”

His clenched jaw told her more than his words ever could.

“Nolan, did his lordship acknowledge you as his son?”

“Yes.” He pushed to his feet.

Hannah’s stomach sank. Of course the man would be thrilled to have a legitimate son and heir—even if he was a stable boy.

“He told me about my . . . about the woman who bore me, how he’d married her against his family’s wishes. That she’d run away, and he’d tried to find her, only to learn of her death. And mine—or so he thought.” He shook his head. “He seemed to genuinely care for her. That, at least, is a comfort.”

She rose to face him. “What else did he say?”

His gaze slid to the floor. “He invited me to dine with the rest of the family. That’s where I’ve been for most of the evening.”

Hannah covered her mouth with her hand. She couldn’t imagine Nolan eating in the grand dining room with the earl’s family. “You met your sisters? How did that go?”

“It was an awkward affair, to say the least. Victoria was gracious, but Evelyn and her husband clearly resent my existence.” Nolan’s features hardened as he gripped the metal foot rail of her bed. “Not unexpected, I suppose. But neither they, nor the earl, will dictate my life. Which leads me back to my proposal.” The tension eased from his face as he moved toward her. “I want to marry you, Hannah. And start our lives together, whether it be on our own farm as we’d planned, or as part of the aristocracy if I decide to accept my title.”

Nervous energy pulsed through her. She took a step in retreat, afraid that his nearness might sway her decision. “But if you do accept it, the earl will never . . .” Suddenly his haste made sense. “That’s why you want to marry now, isn’t it? Because you know his lordship won’t allow it.”

He reached for her hand, his rough fingers gentle on hers. “Do you trust me, Hannah?”

She sighed. “You know I do.”

“Then take a leap of faith with me, love. Together, we can face any challenge life brings us.”

“And if your father rejects you because of me?” Her hands shook at the idea that she might be responsible for Nolan losing the opportunity to know his father. Surely he would resent her for it one day.

“Then he will make my choice very simple. I will go ahead with the purchase of the farm as planned, and we will live an honest, hardworking life.”

Hannah bit her lip, her insides twisting with indecision. Then she raised her eyes to stare into his earnest face, the face she’d loved since she was a girl, and saw only honesty, integrity . . . and love. How could she refuse him?

“After we’re married,” he continued, “we’ll go straightaway to fetch Molly and bring her back with us. She can stay with Bert and Franny if need be until we determine the course our lives will take.”

“Oh, Nolan. Truly?” She hardly dared believe that everything she’d ever wanted was within her reach. Marriage to Nolan, her own home to tend, and Molly safe with them. The dream danced before her eyes like a mirage.

“I’d do anything for you, Hannah. Just say you’ll be mine forever.”

A bubble of joy—one that overrode every logical argument—threatened to lift her from the ground. The heat of his hand anchored her, steadying her as he always did, and she knew what her answer would be. “Yes, Nolan. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

“Praise be!” A huge smile broke over his face. “You are the light in this dark time of my life, Hannah. I don’t know where I’d be without you.” His lips came down on hers with a fierceness that shook her to the core.

He kissed her until her knees went weak, and she finally broke away, gasping for air. “Nolan. We mustn’t.”

He rested his forehead against hers, his breathing uneven. “Forgive me. I got carried away.”

She tried to remain miffed, but her own happiness overflowed into a stifled laugh. “When will we be wed?”

“I’ll see Reverend Black tomorrow and make the arrangements. Will you be able to get away at the end of the week?”

“I think I can convince Edna to let me go for a few days. But what will we do after the ceremony?” Her heart raced at the thought of their wedding night.

A slow grin crept across his handsome features, giving him an almost rakish air. “You leave that part to me, Miss Burnham.”

A blush heated her cheeks, and she looked away.

“I’d better go now—before I push my luck too far.” He crossed the room, then paused with his hand on the knob. “One more thing. Let’s keep our plans to ourselves. No one else need know—especially Edna. You know how she loves to talk.”

Hannah clutched the neck of her robe. Though she hated the thought of deceiving the dear woman, Nolan was right. “I promise.”

“Good.” A determined gleam shone in his eyes. “We’ll meet on the road to the village at dawn two days from now. Until then, remember how much I love you.”

He dropped a quick kiss on her lips and disappeared out the door, leaving Hannah wavering between elation and terror.