Dropping Carter and Aaron off at the airport on our way to the baby shower was making us all sad. I suspected something had happened between Bea and Carter after our party night in Edinburgh.

She kissed him on the lips, savoring the soft kiss. He smiled into it and I couldn't help but grin. Mine and Jess’ misery of long-distance love was about to have company. And I suspected we would be seeing a lot more of Carter.

Aaron hugged us all, lingering when he hugged Jess.

I cringed inwardly and prayed to the gods of all that was good that Jess hadn’t done anything to make this awkward. She and Johan weren’t together, technically. But they were sort of enough of something that she and Aaron shouldn't have been anything.

The whole situation made my head spin.

“And you,” Carter said, pointing at me, “I expect running every day, even just five kilometers. And no weird bowl diets.” He hugged me, holding me tight and whispering, “Don't let them change you. You’re on the right path, Fin.” His words sunk in deep, hitting important roots inside me.

“I won’t,” I promised and I meant it. Plus, I didn’t have the willpower to do the bowl diet anymore.

He kissed my forehead and lingered until Aaron pushed him out of the way. “I’ll see you guys soon. I’ll probably find a job in Scotland in the New Year. Keep your eyes open for me, kay?”

I nodded, realizing I was going to start missing them. I hadn’t yet, not since we’d left home. But I would, now that they’d reminded me of how much I missed everything.

“All right. Be good, don't fall for any bullshit Scotsmen with sexy beards and accents. And come visit me instead.” Aaron wrapped an arm around Carter’s shoulders.

“Or me.” Carter winked at Bea who blushed.

“Bye, guys.” I waved, taking a step back and making the girls join me.

We turned away and started walking to the car waiting for us.

“Man, this sucks.” Linna glimpsed back. “I don't think I realized how much I missed those assholes.”

“Me either,” I agreed.

“Me either.” Bea laughed but it was weak.

Jess said nothing but I caught her turning around and waving once more.

I knew what that meant and even though it wasn't me cheating, it burned inside me. Johan would be upset and Jess would feel like shit. And she wasn’t cut out for that type of deception or pain.

“Why do I have to go to the shower? I don't even know any of these bitches,” Linna complained and changed the subject.

“If we have to suffer, Linna dear, so do you,” Bea offered as we reached the car that drove us back to the hotel. We changed into the ugly dresses and did our hair to suit the fascinators Dee was forcing us to wear. She had met us at the hotel with garment bags filled with old lady outfits.

Seeing my reflection was upsetting. “I didn't know there were this many shades of blue,” I muttered.

“At least your dress has a shape.” Linna turned in a circle, not holding back any of her disgust.

“Yes, but is sausage the shape you’re going for?” I asked. We laughed and it was there, lingering in her eyes. “You’re not over Aaron.”

“Yes, I am. He’s still crazy in love with Jess.” She sounded defensive. “So I have to be.”

“What about Seamus?” I wasn't buying her pity party. Seamus was a nice guy. He didn't deserve this.

“I don't know.” She winced, getting a serious look in her eyes. “You know when a guy’s hot, and you’re super attracted to him and the sex is oh my God, and he’s sort of feisty in that dirty way? And you’re totally into it. But then the conversation is shit so all you do is have sex and eat and play on your phone?” She asked me something I wouldn't know about, but I nodded along, pretending I did.

“What you’re saying is you wish Seamus would be your bed buddy and not your boyfriend?”

“Yeah, friends with benefits where I can just leave right afterward, would be like winning the lottery. But he’s all telling me about the try he scored and then showing me some stupid video of a guy breakdancing in some alley. Like I give a shit about breakdancing. And then I tell him about my courses, and he’s like ‘What’s the point in studying ancient civilizations? Like they’re all dead.’”

“Okay, yeah, that’s bad. When we feel like the smart ones in the relationship—”

“Thank you,” she groaned. “Like I wanna be the hot one. Not the smart one.”

“Word.” I nodded along, grateful I wasn't the smart one but sort of bummed I also wasn't the hot one. Aiden was perfect.

“You two ready?” Dee asked as she came into the living room of the suite.

“Yeah, I’m good. I look like an idiot, but I’m seeing the theme here is not hot.” I pointed at her dress.

“Right, darling, no one looks hot at showers. Or weddings. Would go against tradition.”

Jess came in with the best miserable sulk I’d ever seen her wear. Even the sexy costume didn't touch this one. When she saw our dresses her mood lifted. “Oh, we all look bad.”

“Yeah, girl,” Linna agreed. “I get why Camilla always looks kinda grumpy.” She tugged at the waist of the near-lavender-blue dress.

We left the hotel room as a sea of differing shades of blue and weirdly noisy material. The heels were low and thick, clunky. It was depressing.

“Smiles, bitches.” I held up my phone in the elevator. They all leaned in and we took a selfie. As we strolled through the lobby, I posted it on my Insta and sent it as a snap to Carter, Aaron, and Aiden.

Carter sent a laughing-face emoji. Aaron sent a selfie with a wrinkled nose. Aiden called.

“Hey,” I answered, not expecting him to be done skiing yet.

“You going to the party now?” He sounded funny.

“Yeah. The shower. Don't church it up, it’s not a party.” I lowered my voice and trailed along behind the girls to the car. “Did you hook up with this chick? ’Cause if I get there and I even suspect something happened, I’ll kill you. Whereas if you tell me now, it’s all good. I’m prepared and know what to expect.”

“Kissed her once during a game of spin the bottle I didn't want to play. Her breath smelled of aged smoked cheddar. Turned me off cheese for a while.”

I laughed then sighed. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He said it with a little something extra.

“You okay?” I asked as I climbed into the car.

“Fin, something happened. It’s not something we didn't expect, but you need to know about it before you face this particular crowd of people.”

“Okay.” My stomach sunk. I hated these highs and lows. “Is it Alex?”

“What? No. I’ve sent the link. Look at it now.”

“I’m putting you on speaker while I look.” I hit the speaker icon and pulled the phone away, going into our chat.

“Fin, maybe not speaker,” Aiden said softly. “I didn't even want to tell you, but you can’t go into the lion’s den and not know.”

“It’s fine,” I said as I read. The headline alone made me scream, “WHAT THE FUCK?”

Linna leaned in, reading aloud, “Princess-to-be disgusted by babies.”

“Oh my God. I’ll kill her,” I growled, half hyperventilating. “That fucking bitch!” My New Year’s ressie was out the window.

“Fin,” Aiden warned. “Calm down. This isn’t Hello!’s article. This is the start of the tabloids. Likely the photographer sold the picture. Or someone from the home.”

“No, this is her. That Ramona bitch wanted me to sink from the moment she met me. She hated the fact I was American. Kept bringing it up. I’m going to kill her.”

“Fin, the article she posted was brilliant. Her comments praised you, honestly. This is nothing. I just wanted you to know it’s there. Others will know. There will be talk.” He tried to bring me down but it was too late. I was frothing. The angry tears threatened.

“Fin, don't you dare.” Bea pointed a long thin finger in my face. “You will not cry for that bitch. And Aiden, don't be so daft. Of course, she posted a brilliant article. That's the cover for the trash pictures and leaks she gave to the rags. She’ll blame the photographer, but this is her. Ramona’s vile. She likes to act like she’s all sorts of class, but the reality is she sells out her interviews all the time. Well-timed leaks can always be traced back to her.”

“Fin, we’ll be at the house in ten minutes. You need to take some deep breaths so you’re ready for the horrible people at the shower. They’ll make Ramona look like a saint,” Dee warned, her eyes spilling out sympathy where her words were coated in strength. She knew this pain well enough. They all did.

“Okay.” I huffed my breaths and tried to get my composure back. “You’re right. I need to calm down.”

“Fin, I’m so sorry. I love you and I’m proud of you. Even if you hate babies.” He laughed into the car, making us all laugh. The tears threatened even more.

“Who doesn't hate babies?” Linna asked bitterly.

“Me?” Jess gave us all a look.

“When someone brings a baby to a movie you want to watch and the theater is disrupted the entire time with crying?” Linna challenged her.

“Okay, but it’s not the baby’s fault their mom’s a dick.”

We all laughed at Jess.

“We’ve got this sorted, Aiden,” Dee said softly. “Don't worry. I’ll keep her safe.”

“Thanks, Dee.” Aiden didn't sound convinced. “I love you, Fin, have fun. Give Rosalie my regards. Our regards.” He smiled as he spoke, “And I’ll talk to you after.”

“Okay.” I pressed the phone off and slumped. “I thought it had gone so well. I knew the baby part was a mistake, but I’m a freshman at college. Like who wants a baby at my age?”

“Let’s not focus on that. Or the interview. Let’s focus on who we’re going to be at this party.” Dee took my hands in hers.

“Right. We’re always the girls everyone else wants to sit with, but they’re scared to ask.” Bea winked. “And now we’ve added the possible Queen-to-be of Andorra to our group. We just got a hell of a lot cooler. Not to mention, every single one of these women has wanted Aiden for themselves. So you are going to rub the fact he’s chosen you, over all of them, in their faces.” Her eyes lowered to the ring. “Put that on the right finger. And keep your upper lip stiff and heart cold. You smile politely and offer nothing. Be polite but not accommodating. They’ll ask if you’re engaged, say no. Those rag magazines are liars. Everyone knows it.”

“I need to start taking notes on your pep talks,” Linna said, making us all laugh again.

Even though my life was always hanging on by one trembling thread, I had the best friends and family.

And just as Bea said, when we arrived at the shower, everyone gushed on about Aiden and me and the ring. I smiled and let them, meeting a sea of faces who wanted me to fail. I recognized the look in their eyes.

In the far corners I saw the whisperers, no doubt calling me down. If I’d been them, I would’ve said I looked fatter in real life. Which was fair. I’d gained weight. I would say I wasn't nearly as pretty as the pictures made me look. Also fair. My grad photos were airbrushed like a mutha. I would’ve said Aiden could do better, because I would’ve wanted him for myself.

But I rocked it, shaking hands and smiling sweetly as Bea introduced me around the room. Linna and Jess had vacated, hiding near the food like assholes. But that was fair too because it was exactly what I wanted to do.

“Fin,” Dee called over to me. She was holding the baby and walking my way. “Why don't you take a photo?” She laughed.

“Yes!” Bea agreed, forcing me to a regal-looking chair. Dee placed the baby in my arms delicately and positioned my hands so the ring showed.

The baby glanced up at me with the clearest eyes I’d ever seen. They were bright and focused, like he saw into my soul. We locked our stares, stuck on one another. He was so tiny and fragile. My fingers trembled. I leaned forward, noticing the smell of him. It was like smelling cookies or hand lotion I loved.

His eyes searched me, filled with wonder.

His little fingers reached out, gripping my hair and pulling my face in. I placed a soft kiss on his cheek and whispered, “I don't normally like kids, but you’re okay.”

He made a noise I didn't know what to do with. Lifting my face, I found Dee with a camera and a wide grin.

I wasn't sure why, but the idea of her taking the picture made me uncomfortable.

Almost like I could sense the shitstorm it would bring me.