“Oh- I can’t look. You look.” Muffled by my palms, my voice shook as I covered my face, and anticipation knotted tightly in my gut. “Just let me know what it says.”

“Okay, here goes…” Clearing her throat dramatically, Kayla moved my laptop from my thighs to hers, and I took a shallow breath. “’Congratulations on completing your auction, yada- blah… In accordance with our regulations, no payment shall be processed until the terms of the arrangement have been met… blah- blah…’. Let’s get to the good part, already… Oh! ‘The result of your auction is as follows: there were a total of 102 bids from 19 interested parties.’…”

The silence was overwhelming when Kayla trailed off, and I held my breath as my heart squeezed tightly.

“Oh my God- oh my God- Oh my freakin’ God-!” High pitched and squeaky, Kayla slapped my bicep hard enough to dislodge my palms from my cheek. Peeking through my fingers, I scanned the screen until I saw what my friend was freaking out about. My arms went limp, and my jaw dropped as I stared at the figure at the bottom of the e-mail.

“F- four- four…” Stumbling over the number, my voice shook, and my lips wobbled dangerously. Tears blurred my vision, and I blinked hard to dislodge them before Kayla spoke up.

“$4.4 million dollars… someone paid $4.4 million for your virgi-“ Before Kayla could finish her awestruck statement, I covered my mouth with my hand as my stomach flipped violently. Scrambling off the bed, my legs threatened to collapse on my way to the bathroom. Throwing myself over the toilet, I ducked my head into the bowl to expel what little was left of my lunch.

A hand snaked into my loose hair, and I spit into the toilet bowl before wiping my mouth with a shaky wrist. Curling into Kayla’s warm body, I sucked in a shallow breath only to let out a shocked sob. Happiness threatened to choke me, and Kayla held me tightly as I cried tears of pure, unfiltered joy.

“Is everything okay in here?” Sniffling harshly as the question rained down on me, I glanced up to find Kayla’s mom standing in the doorway to the bathroom. Concern shone from her eyes, and I reached to wipe my face with trembling fingers.

“Yeah- yeah, everything is okay, Mom.” Through blurry eyes, I watched the older woman arch a brow elegantly, and she looked between Kayla and I for a long moment.

“O-okay… I was just coming up to ask what you wanted to do for dinner? Your father is working late, so I was thinking we could order pizza or Chinese food or something. Mix it up a little.” Mrs. Porter didn’t ask any questions, but they were bright in her narrowed gaze. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I grabbed the toilet to hoist myself up onto unsteady legs. Shuffling in front of the sink, I stared in the mirror to catch my cheek and lips twitch before jerking the faucet knobs open.

“Uh- sure. Pizza sounds good. And those garlic knots, too.” Speaking up from behind me, Kayla shut the toilet seat and flushed as I splashed water on my face. Mrs. Porter’s gaze bored into my side, but I ignored her to try to get my heart back into a normal rhythm.

“Alrighty… well, if you need me, I’ll be downstairs.” Idling by the door for a second, Mrs. Porter wandered off and down the stairs before I took a gasping breath. Gripping my shoulders, Kayla let out a giggle behind me, and I gazed at her reflection in the mirror. Her goofy smile was contagious, filled with excitement and other things too bright for me to make out.

Grinning at my friend, I turned off the water and snatched a towel to dry my face before turning to face her.

“So, now what? What did the rest of the e-mail say?” Kayla didn’t answer me, choosing instead to take my hands and lead me back to her room. Shut inside, I dropped heavily onto her bed to inhale as deeply as my lungs would let me. She climbed up to prop my laptop on her lap, and the quiet rang in my ears until she spoke up.

“Uh- there’s a link here for a chat room… so- I guess, you talk about what’s happening next. Here, let me click it-“ My computer pinged, and I twisted as Kayla squinted at the screen. “Whoever it is already messaged you. Just a date, time, and place. The Wendel, Saturday night, 6:00p.m..”

“The Wendel?” My heart stuttered in my chest even as I spoke up; Saturday was only three days away. Only a few feet from me, Kayla typed smoothly with a sharp nod, and she glanced over at me before answering.

“Yeah- it’s a 4-star restaurant over on Fifth downtown. A lot of wealthy people go there- I mean, you’d have to have crazy money to pay $4.4 million for some girl’s virginity, I guess. Anyway, do you want to reply?” Eyes wide, I nodded dumbly before shuffling up to sit next to Kayla against the wall. Taking my laptop, I navigated to the chat room to find as simple a message as she’d described.

My fingertips hovered over the keys, and I nibbled my bottom lip furiously as I stared at the screen. The little, green dot at the top of the page told me that whoever was there was online, and blood rushed in my ears.

Me: Is it possible to meet somewhere more low-key?

Almost instantly the man, or who I assumed was a man, started to reply, and I held my breath. Kayla and I both leaned towards the screen, and the fabric of her dark red, plaid shirt irritated the goosebumps on my arm.

Him: Sure. Where did you have in mind?

“Oh- oh, there’s this great little dive on Maybent Ave. It’s called Alternation. That way I can go with you and make sure he’s not a creep.” Humming at Kayla’s whisper, I smiled slightly at her tone; it was almost as if she worried he could hear us. Typing out the message, I tapped on the edge of my laptop as I waited anxiously for a response.

Him: I’ve been there. Nice place. So, Alternation at 6 on Saturday.

Me: I haven’t. I don’t go out to eat much.

I barely registered my own reply, and I pursed my lips into a thin line. The answer to the silent question just spewed out of me, and I leaned my head back to exhale through my nose.

Him: No problem. You’ll bring a friend, I assume… to make sure I’m not a creep.

My brows shot up, and beside me, Kayla choked on her own saliva.

Me: Yeah… uh- so, is the food good?

“Oh my God- this guy. Maybe he’s done this before?” Grunting at the question, I rolled my shoulders at Kayla’s surprised mumble. On the screen, a reply was already being typed out, and my chest tightened in anticipation.

Him: Yes it is. I’ll be wearing a royal blue button down. You should wear something blue, too.

The conversation was dwindling; I could feel it in my bones. Desperation welled up inside me, and my fingers flew across the keyboard as I typed furiously. Narrowing my eyes under furrowed brows, I clenched my jaw together until my teeth ached.

Me: Why did you spend so much money?

A pine needle sensation washed through me, and it only intensified when the man didn’t respond immediately like he had been so far. Tensing up in the stillness, a shiver lodged at the top of my spine until I saw the familiar ellipsis appear above the text box.

Him: You seem like a good girl. We can talk about it when we meet up.

Before I could formulate a reply, the green dot at the top of the page disappeared, and I slumped against the wall to heave for air. The silence in the room was deafening, and Kayla was the first to break it with a loud, low groan. Sagging against my side, she wrapped her arm around my waist to rest her forehead on my shoulder.

“This is insane… but at least now I have permission to go with you, Lilly.” She sounded tired, and I closed my eyes to replay what had just happened.

Four-point-four million dollars… Is this even real?

“… We should celebrate… I’m going to go ask my mom to order more pizza and garlic knots.” Worming her way off the bed, Kayla seemed to float out of the room, and I slid my laptop off my lap to lay down. Curling up on my side, I covered my face with my hands as a peaceful sensation spread from my toes upward.

“No one can know…” Mumbling into my palms, my mouth twisted into a grimace; I wasn’t ashamed. I was going to become a doctor- completely, utterly debt free. I might even have enough money to start my own practice once I graduated.

But I had friends beyond Kayla, and I didn’t want them to look at me differently. I didn’t want them to treat me differently. I didn’t want to become the friend they only looked at when they wanted to do something expensive.

And my parents… My parents could never know.

Because they would hate me. My dad could handle college but giving my virginity to a man I wasn’t married to- he can’t handle that.