Chapter Fourteen

Bitsy

Is this really a good idea?

The invitation for Roman to come to dinner at the house that night had just kind of come out without my mouth consulting my brain first, and now I was questioning whether it was really the right choice. I admired him for wanting to be a part of Lorelei’s life, or at least for saying that he did and making the effort to come and talk to me about it, but I still didn’t think that he was a good choice for either of us. Beyond that, I couldn’t imagine that he would ever be able to be comfortable in the Hollow, and at that point, I knew that I wasn’t going to be leaving again. This was my home, and my daughter’s home, and I wouldn’t compromise that for a man. I couldn’t.

I took a breath, resolved that I would use our dinner together that night to bring this situation to a close. We could have the meal together and give him that chance to get to know us a little, and then I would try again to convince him that I was absolutely fine raising the baby without him. That I didn’t need him to go out of his way to change the situation as we were already in it. Or at least I would give him an easy way out so that he could just go back to his life and pretend that he never did the big romantic gesture of coming all the way out here to the Hollow to find me.

My mind suddenly flashed to my mother’s house at the back of the property again and I felt a surge of protectiveness toward Lorelei. As much as I could commiserate with what Roman had to say about not wanting his daughter to grow up without a father around and that he wouldn’t want her to feel the pain that he did, or for her to not know who she is, I could also remember how much it hurt both me and my mother when my father left and I didn’t want to put either of us in the position of ever experiencing that because of Roman. My grandfather was the only man I could ever imagine really trusting, especially after Gregory, and even that trust was feeling shaky now that he seemed to be going behind my back to plan the sale of the farm even though he told me that he would delay the decision until after this season. My heart simply wasn’t in a place where I could even consider letting someone else close to it.

The butterflies in my stomach seemed to be in full Spring Awakening mode when the doorbell rang, announcing Roman’s arrival for dinner. I straightened the dress I had chosen for the night, glanced over at the baby to make sure that she was still presentable, and headed to answer the door. I took a breath before opening it, involuntarily letting it stream out when I saw Roman standing on the porch. The slacks and summer weight sweater he wore perfectly accentuated his body and my mouth watered as my mind traveled back to the night that we spent together. I knew exactly what was under those clothes and my fingertips tingled to discover it again. I had gotten only a taste of him, but that taste had started cravings within me that I hadn’t been able to get out of my mind, even as the months slipped by.

I forced the thoughts out of my mind. I couldn’t think of him that way. That part of my life was on indefinite pause, pushed resolutely to the back burner while I focused all of my energy and attention on Lorelei and convincing Granddaddy to save the farm. I managed what I hoped was a civil, but not excessively friendly, smile.

“Come in,” I said, pushing open the storm door to allow him to enter the house.

“Thank you.”

Roman stepped into the house and offered me a small cluster of flowers he held in one hand.

“Thank you,” I said. “These are beautiful.”

“You’re welcome. Where is the baby?”

“She’s in the living room.”

I pointed toward the room and he followed my gesture. As I saw him turn the corner into the living room I noticed a flash of color in his hand and realized that he had brought Lorelei flowers also. I felt a flutter in my heart and turned away to close the door. When I got into the living room I saw Roman crouching down by the playpen, looking in at Lorelei as she held the flowers and ran her tiny fingers along the petals.

“You probably shouldn’t let her hang on to those,” Granddaddy said. “They’ll go right into her mouth.”

“I’m sure she’s fine,” I said. “It’s time for dinner, though, so can you go ahead and get her and put her in her high chair.”

Roman started to reach for her, but seemed to notice Granddaddy approach out of the corner of his eye and stepped back. He watched as my grandfather scooped the baby out of the playpen and took the flowers from her hand, seamlessly replacing them with a tiny stuffed bunny. We went into the dining room and settled at the table. The salad was making its way around when I noticed Granddaddy staring at Roman.

“You know, Ladybug, when I told you to help this gentleman, I didn’t really think that you were going to keep him until you found what he was looking for.”

I laughed and filled my plate with salad, settling the bowl back to the table.

I guess this is the best time to jump right into this.

“Actually,” I said. “I was what he was looking for.”

Granddaddy’s eyes slid over to me.

“You were?” he asked. “Why is that exactly?”

I felt myself bristle slightly.

“What’s with the tone?” I asked.

“I’m just trying to understand why a middle-aged man would be coming out here to find my twenty-year-old granddaughter.”

“Twenty-two,” I corrected. “And honestly it isn’t any of your business.”

“None of my business, is it?” He snapped. “You come running home to me because you’re pregnant and spend a year and a half living with me, but you can say that bringing a man into my home isn’t any of my business.”

“This man’s name is Roman and he’s Lorelei’s father.”

Well, I probably could have handled that better.

Granddaddy’s eyes burned into me and then moved over to Roman.

“He’s what?”

“He’s Lorelei’s father.”

“This is the man who fathered my great-granddaughter and then hasn’t been around for either of you since?”

I could hear the fury growing in Granddaddy’s voice and I tried to defuse it.

“You can’t blame him. He didn’t know.”

“I assure you he knew exactly what he was doing.”

“He didn’t know about the baby. I never told him. And it only took him this long to find me because I never told him where I was.”

I looked over at Roman, expecting to see anger in his eyes. Instead, I saw a calm, controlled expression. He was obviously struggling to keep his composure and I was impressed by his effort.

After the tension filled meal, I stood from the table and lifted Lorelei from her highchair. She was already starting to fade and I knew it was time to put her to bed.

“I’m going to put Lorelei to bed,” I said to Granddaddy. “Then Roman and I are going to take a walk and talk for a bit. We have some things we need to figure out.”

“I should say so.”

I started down the hallway toward the stairs and heard Roman fall into step behind me. We climbed the stairs together and he hovered at the doorway to the nursery as I went through Lorelei’s nighttime ritual with her. When she was resting in her crib, Roman and I walked out of the house and started to stroll aimlessly toward the pumpkin patches.

“I’m sorry about that,” I said. “He’s just very protective of us.”

“I understand,” Roman said. “I can only imagine that my grandfather would be the same way.”

“If you came home pregnant by a 90-year-old?”

We looked at each other and I felt laughter building in my chest. He laughed first and the tension between us dissolved a little. We walked a few more yards in silence before he spoke again.

“So, how old is she?”

It was a slightly awkward question, but I could understand why he asked it.

“She’ll be a year old in two weeks,” I told him.

“Wow,” he murmured under his breath.

I smiled.

A genuine wow.

We continued on for the next hour, weaving our way through the patches, edging the cornfield, and making our way up the drive as we talked, trying to fit a lifetime of knowing each other into the short time that we had. I told him about growing up in the Hollow, giving him the brief version of why I lived with my grandfather. He told me about his family and the business that he walked away from in order to follow his own ambitions. I no longer felt like we were strangers and a connection was building between us, creating a link that I hoped would allow us to raise Lorelei together.

Suddenly Roman stopped and turned to me, taking both of my hands in his.

“Can’t you feel this?” he asked. “Don’t you think that this is worth giving us a chance?”

I felt my face fall and I stepped back from him, our hands dropping.

“No,” I said. “Roman, you have to stop. I’m willing to let you stay around to get to know the baby, but it will have to stay as just that. Goodnight.”

I walked around Roman and headed for the house, not allowing myself to glance back over my shoulder at him.