Chapter Thirteen

Arthur

Leaving the casino where I had gambled away a small fortune tonight, I was heading to the nearest bar when I spotted Bailey taking the stairs to the uppermost deck. I was transfixed by the way his sweatpants rode low on his hips, narrow hips I could remember holding onto as I fucked him. I hesitated, remembering I had told him to avoid me for the rest of the trip. Then I remembered his wife giving me permission to make a move on him, and I set off behind him.

I could have called out to him, but remembering how I had treated him the last time we had sex, left a lot to be desired. I owed him an apology for thinking he would cheat on his wife. If she knew and consented, it was hardly cheating. I had been spinning the idea around in my head for a while and decided that I could accept that he was married to someone else while allowing me to take him to bed. Could I? I wouldn’t know unless I tried.

Once on the deck, I swept my gaze about, trying to pinpoint where exactly he was. It was late, a couple hours after midnight, and the majority of the passengers were in bed already or down in the club and casino. I did spot a couple getting hot and heavy on one of the chairs, but they were of little interest to me. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the solitary figure standing by the railing staring up in the sky as though the answers he wanted were written there.

I frowned when his proud back sagged like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Right then, staring at him, something other than lust for him moved inside me. I wanted him to tell me what was wrong, and then I wanted to fix his problems. That was exactly how I felt. For once I wasn’t just thinking of how good it felt to bone the fuck out of him. In fact, it was the farthest thing from my mind as I watched him.

As soon as I realized this had turned into more than just sex, I approached him. He was too deep in thought to hear me even when I pulled up next to him.

“Penny for your thoughts,” I said softly.

His head whipped around at my voice, and his mouth fell open. He clamped his jaw shut and turned away to face the murky black sea once more. “For the right person, the price would be free.”

“And for me?” I pushed.

He glanced at me slyly from the corner of his eyes. “A million bucks.”

I chuckled as his point sank. I wasn’t the right person. “Then for a million bucks, I can be the right person?” I replied. “Fair enough. Let’s do this.”

He turned so his side was to the rail. “Money can’t buy everything, Arthur,” he snapped at me. “And it sure as hell can’t buy back my pride after the last time.”

I reached out a hand to touch him, but he stepped back. “Would it help to say I’m sorry?” I asked him. “In all fairness to me, I didn’t know your wife was okay with us sleeping together.”

His brows knotted, and his eyebrows knitted. “What?”

“It’s okay. I ran into your wife today, and she assured me that she’s okay with us.”

“You mean Emily?”

“Yes, Emily. She seems like a nice person.”

I barely finished the thought before Bailey erupted into laughter. The loudness of it disturbed the otherwise peaceful night. He laughed so hard tears ran down his cheeks, and he clutched his abdomen. I didn’t think it was funny at all. In fact, I felt downright insulted that he was laughing at me. Then came the horrific idea that maybe he and his wife had come up with this means to make me feel like shit.

“This was a horrible mistake,” I quipped in a voice taut with anger as I turned to distance myself from him.

“Arthur, if you walk away, that’s it. You don’t get another chance.”

I paused, my back to him as I struggled with what to do. The humiliated side of me wanted to be as far away from him as possible, but the side that craved him would not have me leave.

I turned back to him. “I’m tired of doing things halfway between you and me, Bailey. I want to know everything, and I want to know it now. Don’t try to keep anything from me.”

All laughter was gone from his face as he leaned against the ship’s railing. He emitted a heavy sigh as he ran his fingers through his tousled black hair. “Are you willing to listen this time? You kinda flew off the handle the last time without giving me the chance to explain, and I’d rather not waste my time.”

“I’ll listen.” I didn’t have to believe, but there was no harm in listening.

“Emily isn’t my wife,” he said, which was the best news I had received all day. “She isn’t my girlfriend either. I have no idea what you two talked about, but if she consented to us engaging in any affair, it would simply be because she thinks I need a man in my life to make me happy.”

“You’re not sleeping with her?”

He shook his head. “No. I’m gay, not bi. I’ve never been with a woman, Arthur. Neither do I want to be. She's also married to an army guy so I invited her on this cruise so she didn't have to be alone over Christmas.”

The tension eased from my shoulders although I still had so many questions. “So, the kids are hers then or did you say something about them being your brother's? Is your brother the army guy she's married to?”

“I think it’s best for me to start from the top,” he said on a sigh. “The kids are my six-year-old niece and nephew, Reggie and Gina. I’ve been appointed their guardian since my brother and his wife died last year.”

Stunned at his confession, I felt worse about everything. I had given him such crap while he was obviously going through a tough time. I couldn’t imagine him being so young and having two kids to care for.

“I had no idea.”

He scoffed and looked away from me out at sea. “How could you have known? You don’t know anything about me even though we’ve had sex together. Twice. I didn’t get the impression you wanted anything more than a casual fling.”

I opened my mouth to deny it before clamping it shut because even now I wasn’t sure what I wanted from him. I was positive that as close as I was standing to him, I wanted to take him down to my room and have sex with him. Again. Better yet, we could find somewhere dark on this deck where I could make him come with just my mouth and hands. But did I want more than the physical side of a relationship with him? Having been in so many failed relationships, it was difficult getting into another.

“I don’t know what I want,” I answered honestly. “No, let me modify that. I do know that I want you in my bed. I get hard every time I think about our times together. I am hard talking to you now, Bailey.”

To prove my point, I grasped his hand and brought it down to my crotch. I heard his sharp intake of breath as his hand connected with my bulge. To my surprise, he cupped me gently through my slacks and slowly molded me into his hand. I moaned, lost in the sensation. I cupped the back of his head before he saw it coming and kissed him. Our lips clung to each other’s with familiarity. I plunged my tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. He had caressed me to a thick coil, and all I wanted was his mouth, his tongue, sliding down my shaft.

“Bailey, come back to my suite with me,” I whispered to him, stroking his hair. “Let me love you through the night.”

At my words, Bailey pulled away and dropped his hand. I groaned in dismay and frustration because I was so fucking hard.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this again,” he said breathlessly, inching away from the rail. “I’m not a free man who gets to hop into every bed I am invited to. I have two kids relying on me, Arthur. We’re a package deal.”

I frowned at him, remembering Jo asking me if I ever wondered about Bailey's story. He was way too young to have two children relying on him. He looked like he could also use someone to help him with the kids.

“You mean there’s no one else to take the kids?” I asked him.

“My mother would, but my brother had his reasons for not wanting her to raise the kids.”

I caught his chin with my hand and turned his face toward me. I searched his face to find out if he was unhappy with the burden of two kids to care for, but I couldn’t tell. His expression was closely guarded as he looked back at me. His tongue flickered out to wet his bottom lip, just above my thumb.

“Doesn’t seem fair of him to ask you to do something of such magnitude,” I said, having a hard time keeping track of my words. The way he looked at me was full of hunger. “You’re so young. You should be living your life to the fullest, not saddled with two kids.”

I felt him stiffen before he caught my hand and removed it from his chin. “That’s where you’re wrong. My brother took care of me, Arthur, and I’ll do anything to ensure that his kids are happy. I won’t let anyone come between that. Not my mother, and not you.” He placed a hand in the center of my chest and his voice lowered. “Don’t you think I want the same thing that you do? You’re not the only one as hard as a rock, but those kids mean the world to me. I’m able to give them this Christmas cruise, thanks to you. It’s their first Christmas without their parents. I am not going to be distracted by a man who’ll be here today, but gone tomorrow. The kids don’t need that. I don’t need that. We are a package deal, and that’s a deal I don’t think you want.”

He started to ease back before he changed his mind and placed his lips over mine. I moved forward to chase his kiss, but he had already retreated. “You were right before, Arthur. It’s best to stay away from each other. I’m a single dad. You don’t want that complication in your life.”

I watched him walk away, the bulge in my pants urging me to go after him or tell him anything he wanted to hear for him to stay, but I couldn’t do that to him nor me. It was no longer just about us. Kids were now involved, and I had never dated a man with kids before. The idea of having kids underfoot was terrifying. Would I even be able to love kids that weren’t mine? These seemed like questions I should figure out before I pursued Bailey any more.

Long after Bailey left, I remained rooted to the same spot, turning over the pros and cons in my mind.