Chapter Fifteen

Arthur

“I can take them both if you carry the bags,” Bailey remarked as the shuttle bus came to a stop back at the terminal.

I brushed him away and reached for Reggie who had fallen asleep during the drive back from all the excitement we had in Freeport. Lifting the sleeping boy, I carefully positioned his head before grabbing three of the shopping bags from the seat between us. I couldn’t remember having so much fun in a long time, and I wasn’t ready for the day to end yet. Christmas in the Bahamas, a tropical paradise, was different from back home. We had encountered the same Christmas songs, people in good spirits and the decorations, but to a lesser degree.

“Take Gina and let’s board the ship,” I told him, and when I was sure he had everything, we exited the shuttle bus at the International Bazaar. We walked side by side, having no need to talk. The evening was perfect, just like the day had been— sunny, but with enough wind to cool us down. We passed several local citizens peddling their craft, but didn’t stop. The Bazaar was no longer the way I remembered it when I was younger. Not much was left of the businesses and the attractions.

We boarded the ship and headed straight for the elevator while I desperately tried to think of a way to prolong the day. I wasn’t ready to give up this experience yet.

“Why don’t we put them in my suite?” I offered. Anything to have Bailey with me longer. Watching the way he interacted with the kids today had warmed my heart. I too wanted that closeness with another human being. I would have never guessed before that I would have this ache inside me for a family. Not just a partner but an actual family. I had resigned myself before to the fact that I would never have kids given that I was gay. As much as I could afford to hire a surrogate, the idea didn’t cross my mind. Not until now.

“Are you sure that’s okay?” Bailey asked, but his eyes were bright as though he wasn’t ready yet either to end the day.

I nodded. “I’m positive. Plus, I have more space. They’ll be comfortable where we can watch them while we…” I grinned as his eyes frowned. “Talk, I meant talk.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” he answered, looking smug.

We rode the elevator to my deck, standing beside each other. I caught our reflections in the glass wall and couldn’t look away. We looked like a normal family. I wanted that. God, I wanted that so badly. The feeling I had today hanging out with Bailey and the kids, were feelings I wanted to experience daily.

“Here we go,” I murmured when the elevator stopped at my deck. We walked out, and I led the way to my suite. I had to rest the shopping bags to the floor, freeing up my hand so I could fish into my pocket for the key card. I shifted Reggie to my other shoulder to unlock the door, and he turned, wrapping his arm tighter around my neck. Although he did it subconsciously while in sleep, it still tugged at my heart.

I led us inside the cabin and headed for the huge bed in the room that had neatly been made by cabin staff. I had no idea how to position Reggie on the bed, however, so Bailey lightened his load first before he took Reggie from me and placed him beside his sister. I couldn’t take my eyes off them as Bailey removed their coats and shoes. He leaned over both children and bussed them on the forehead. When he rose to his feet, he still had his eyes on them. It was so clear the kids meant the world to him. I wanted him to look at me with the same expression of tenderness and love.

“You were right,” Bailey started to say as he turned to face me, but then he trailed off his thought as he noticed I had been staring at him. His face turned red, and he glanced back at the kids. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m just looking at how easy you make this seem,” I told him, not bothering to hide the awe from my voice. “You know exactly what to do.”

Bailey shrugged, but he seemed pleased at the compliment. “I had some practice before my brother died. I lived with them for a long time so I helped them to mind the kids, especially when they wanted to go on a date night.” He raised his eyes to me at this point. “If it’s any consolation, I still make a lot of mistakes. I think all parents do. Although many self-help books are available on kids, it’s very different when you’re the one doing it. In fact, it’s even different now from when I used to take care of them for a few hours.”

“Doesn’t it get tiring?” I asked because I was really curious.

“It does, but you keep going. Bad days don’t last, and the good ones are totally worth it.”

I nodded as though I understood when the truth was that I had not the vaguest idea what he meant. Today had been great with the kids, but I didn’t expect every day to run so smoothly, and I wondered, how I would feel when things took a turn for the worse?

“They should be out for a few hours, right?” I asked Bailey.

The corners of his mouth upturned into a smile. “Yes, perhaps even the whole night. They were really active all afternoon. Why? What did you have in mind?”

“Care to make use of the hot tub on the balcony?” I suggested, hoping he would agree.

Bailey’s eyes sought out the doors that swung out toward the balcony. He cocked his head to one side and wriggled his nose. “Sex?”

I shook my head. “No, just to talk a bit.” I walked over to him and placed my hands about his trim waist. Touching him felt like indulging in a guilty pleasure. “You were right before about me not knowing much about you, Bailey. I want to know everything.”

He sank his teeth into his bottom lip. “Can’t we just have sex? That might be easier.”

I leaned forward to kiss him, but on second thought pulled back before our lips could touch. He frowned, his eyes focused on my lips. “You gave me a challenge, Bailey. When I dropped by your cabin today to get to know the kids, I had no idea how it would turn out, but I want to know more about y’all.”

“I’m not that interesting.”

“Let me be the judge of that, sweetheart.”

I heard the sharp intake of his breath at the endearment, but I couldn’t regret it in the least. I might have not intended to say it, but it made perfect sense considering how deep my feelings were for Bailey.

“Okay. Hot tub.”

Because the kids were still in the suite with us, we got into the hot tub wearing shorts. Bailey borrowed a pair of mine and watching him draw the strings for the waist to fit reminded me once more of how different we were. It was so funny how easily I forgot about my weight when I was around Bailey. He never once looked at me askance. He made me feel like a regular guy, but with the sex appeal of Orlando Bloom.

“I should probably lose some weight,” I remarked, settling into the hot tub. “That’s the only way I’ll be able to keep a guy like you, isn’t it?”

“What?” Bailey started to laugh before breaking off. “You’re being serious?”

I shrugged. “Kinda. Yeah.”

“It would take a lot more than a little weight for you to lose me,” he responded, leaning back in the tub which was big enough that we didn’t even touch sitting across from each other. “Your drinking would be more of an issue than your weight. Besides, other than my stint of falling for my best friend once, I like bears.”

He revealed so much that I had no idea where to pick up. Should I delve more into that best friend he fell for? Or should I address his issue with my drinking? I had no idea the latter was a problem for him, and I never thought about his heart belonging to another.

“You worry about my drinking?” I decided to start with the easier topic.

“It’s not so much a worry,” he replied. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I sat up in the tub to take note of him. He was now hesitant to speak his mind, but I wanted to know his thoughts. “Tell me. Why are you so concerned with my drinking?”

He started playing with the bubbling water, cupping his hand to scoop up some then separating his fingers for the liquid to run through. “It’s not that I think you’re a drunk or anything,” he stated. “But…”

“Tell me, Bailey.”

“I am concerned that maybe someday you’ll be addicted to the stuff if you don’t do something about it now.” He peeked up at me from beneath his lashes. “Mind you, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with drinking, but you’re often drinking one thing or another. Before we got on this cruise together, every time I would accidentally bump into you around your estate you’d smell of liquor. Is there a reason you drink so much, Arthur?”

His question rocked me, and I frowned. No one had ever approached me about my drinking before. Jo didn’t even say anything to me about it. If I told him to bring me a drink, he brought me one, no questions asked.

“I’ve never thought about it before,” I answered honestly. “But if I should pinpoint the exact time I started drinking this much, I’d say it was right around the time of my parents’ death.”

“How did they die?”

“Helicopter crash,” I replied. “They were both gone instantly. I had no time to prepare myself for it.”

He nodded his understanding. “Were you close?”

“To be honest, we weren’t as close as I would have liked. Nothing like you and the kids. My parents were just not those type of people. They had me which was more like fulfilling society’s expectations for their marriage, but they were both career-minded people. I was raised more by nannies than my parents, but they would take me on vacation with them. They had their shortcomings, but they were all I had, Bailey.”

“You miss them.”

Although it was more a statement than a question, I expounded on it. “Yeah, I do. They parented the way they knew how. I never had siblings and not many friends growing up either. I grew up a loner. In fact, there were times I felt like the outsider in the family. I don’t know if they were in love, but they had something strong. An understanding that formed a bond between them. I’ve been searching for that bond.” I stared deeply into his eyes, seeing the way they widened in amazement. “I think I may have found it.”

He groaned. “Arthur, don’t you think this is moving way too fast?”

“I didn’t notice.” I shifted in the tub, wading in the water until I was before him. “I’m almost forty years old, Bailey. Life’s too short to question the way I feel about you. I’ve tried to get you out of my head so many times, and it doesn’t work. I’m not an innocent. Truth is that I’ve had my share of men in my life. I’ve been divorced twice. I’ve taken part in orgies, sex parties, swinging. I’ve done the whole works, but there’s something different about our relationship.”

Bailey reached out to place his hands on my shoulders and pulled me even closer. He wrapped his legs around my waist, and I could feel the hardness of his cock against mine. I wanted to ease his shorts from his waist and take him right there in the tub, but I was enjoying our talk too much.

“I’m going to be honest with you, Arthur,” he stated, his voice low. “My life is complicated right now, and I’m afraid that you’ll make it even more so. When my brother died, my entire focus shifted to the kids. I quit university, moved away from a guy I thought I loved at the time, and I moved back home to fulfill a promise I made to David. I’m committed to those kids, and I’m not sure if I can give you a full hundred percent in a relationship right now. I’m still learning how to be a father.”

“Then I’ll take the ten percent you can give,” I said on a joke.

“But you deserve so much more,” he answered, his hand crushing my cheek. “There have been too many past lovers who let you down by not giving their hundred. I don’t want to be like those lovers.”

“Except with you it’s different,” I countered. “I understand the kids being your priority, Bailey. At first, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to handle it, but I think I can. In fact, there’s no reason for it to be a competition. I want to help you with the kids, not make your life more complicated.”

His legs still secured about my waist, Bailey wrapped his arms about my back and rested his face to my chest. He felt good against me like this so I held him. I could sense the bond forming between us then, and I had no desire to break that bond by asking him the question that burned in my mind. Who was this guy he thought he had been in love with?

That question would have to wait. I had no desire to ruin this perfect moment.

I kissed his hair. “I swear I’ll cut back on the drinking,” I heard myself say. “Maybe that can score me another ten percent?”

He chuckled and turned his head to place a kiss in the center of my chest. “Don’t worry. I think I can manage more than twenty percent.”

“I would kiss you now,” I whispered to him. “But I’m already so hard, and the kids are just in the other room, and I’m not sure I’d be able to stop if I started.”

Bailey cupped my face with both hands and pulled my head down to his. I forgot all plans not to kiss him as his mouth settled on mine.