Chapter Eight

Bailey

“Oh my God! This is so exciting! Somebody pinch me because I can't believe I'm on an actual cruise.”

I laughed, truly feeling my happiest in months. It wasn't just about getting away from all the madness happening at home but seeing the excitement in the kids' eyes. They hadn't been able to sit still since coming on board. They hadn't shut up either. They were fairly bouncing off the walls, wanting to do everything even though they just got on board.

“Can we go on the water slides, Uncle Bailey?” Reggie begged, his little face scrunched up earnestly.

“Yes, Uncle Bailey. Can we please?” his twin seconded.

Looking at all three faces, I was pleased I had made the right decision about the tickets. I had downgraded them to the basic cabins suitable for four. Asking Emily to come along had turned out to be a perfect Christmas gift. Plus, I would get help with the twins. The thought of monitoring the two of them on a ship this size was daunting.

I couldn't help wondering what the premium suite I had given up looked like. Our present cabin was barely big enough for four. There was no way I could keep the kids inside for long or they would grow miserable. There were two beds so Emily and I would have to share a bed with a kid each. A TV was mounted in the corner of one wall opposite the bed and that was about all the entertainment we would have in the four-walled space. Apart from cupboards and two closets, that was basically it for the decor. It was cozy though and smelled clean, but Emily already had her Lysol out wiping down everything.

“Hey guys, listen—,” I started to say to the kids, then paused when we all heard a loud blast.

Emily dropped the can of Lysol. “What the hell was that?”

I chuckled. “We're about to sail away,” I replied. Not wanting to be a fish out of water, I had looked up what to expect online. “That's exactly what I was going to mention. Let's go on deck and watch us sail away from the port. Then we can go eat, walk around a bit, and we can check out the kiddies’ pool.”

“We don't want to watch the sail away,” Reggie argued. “Can't we just go to the pool?”

“You'll like it. I promise. If you don't, then we leave. How about that?”

That perked him up, and he nodded.

“That fine with you, Gina?”

“Yup!”

A knock sounded on the door. “Must be our luggage,” I stated. “Okay, everyone use the bathroom before we go, please.”

Grasping the doorknob, I opened, a smile ready on my face for the cabin crew member bringing our luggage. I just had an awesome feeling about this trip. I felt even better I hadn't called to advise Mother what we were up to. Let's see how she will like stopping by the house unannounced. She didn't fool me one bit. She didn't call me before visiting because she thought she would catch me doing something that would get the state on her side where the kids were concerned. I didn't even understand why she bothered, considering she was already going to get at least temporary custody of them.

I pushed unpleasant thoughts of my mother from my mind as I faced the cabin boy. My mouth fell open in surprise. This was no cabin boy. Arthur lurked in the doorway, looking larger than life.

“Arthur!” My face grew hot. Seeing him reminded me of how we had parted the last time. Me running out on him with no explanation. Over the past two weeks, I had almost picked up the phone to call him several times, but lost courage when I thought of the conversation to follow. Maybe it didn't mean anything to him. I had every intention of avoiding him throughout the holidays and hoped that the new year would bring new memories to replace that which I had made with Arthur.

“Bailey,” he said my name in the voice that haunted my dreams.

“Arthur,” I said his name again before it registered how stupid I sounded. “I mean, what are you doing here?”

“Cruising for Christmas,” he answered with a shrug which would have been nonchalant hadn't his eyes reflected his desire as he looked me up and down. I felt naked before him and wished I hadn't allowed Emily to convince me to wear the Hawaii shorts and T-shirt.

“Oh, I didn't know you were going on this cruise too.”

“It was kind of a last minute thing.” Hearing the chattering coming from the cabin, I stepped outside the room and shut the door. “I was hoping we could talk a bit. About what happened.”

I scratched my chin because I didn't know what else to do. “Jeez. Right now?”

“Yeah, unless you're busy?”

I chewed on my bottom lip. I wanted to hear what he had to say at the same time I was nervous about it. Him being here had to be a good sign. He would hardly need to get on a seven-day cruise to tell me what we had done was a mistake. He could have picked up his phone and called me.

“Umm, now is not necessarily a good time.”

He frowned and stared at the door behind me. “You brought someone on this trip with you?”

“Well, yes, you gave me two tickets.”

“But I didn't expect that after everything you would…” He trailed off, his lips tight. “Never mind. I obviously thought wrong. Enjoy the cruise.”

My mouth fell open at the way he snarled at me then turned and stalked away. I stared at his broad back as it slowly filtered in that he thought I had taken a lover with me.

“Arthur!” I called after him, but he ignored me. Someone poked their head from the neighboring cabin to frown at me, but I couldn't let him walk away with the wrong impression. If he was upset at the thought of me with someone else then he had to care even a little.

The door opened behind me, and with a groan, I turned to find Emily and the kids ready to go.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, her smile fading.

“Umm.” I glanced at Arthur who was almost at the end of the hall. He hadn’t even once turned to acknowledge me. I turned back to the kids to tell them to go ahead without me so I could chase Arthur, but I clamped my mouth shut when I saw the excitement in their eyes. This vacation was for them and not Arthur and me. There was no Arthur and me. I didn’t plan to pawn them off on Emily while I went about sleeping with random guys. It didn’t matter that I worked with Arthur. I didn’t know the man on a personal level yet I had slept with him.

“Who’s ready for our first adventure?” I asked the kids.

“Me!” they cried.

Arthur had already disappeared by the time we got to the stairs. We found the elevator empty so we took it to the pool deck instead where the sail away party was being held. People milled about with excitement, laughing and snapping photos. The stage set up in the center had a deejay ready to perform. As excited as the kids became, I noticed they moved closer to me. I kept a hold on Gina while starry-eyed Emily held on to Reggie. We found an area away from much of the crowd where the kids could have breathing space while watching the ship sail away from the port.

Minor wasn’t exactly the best sail away spot in the world. Still, it was a pretty spectacular view. I was more interested in the serenity of it all even amidst the noise of champagne bottles popping and people screaming in delight. The music started, and Emily could barely contain herself.

I nudged her with my elbow and lifted my chin in the direction of the stage where everyone was gathered about, dancing and singing to popular old school songs.

“I’ll watch the kids,” I told her. “Why don’t you go ahead and mingle?”

She gazed longingly at the crowd and then back at me with the kids. “I can’t leave you alone with them.”

“Sure you can,” I replied. “We’ll be fine. You’ve taken care of everybody for a long time. Go take care of you.”

She threw her hands around me and planted a kiss on my lips. I knew better than to interpret it any other way than a friendly kiss. She probably wouldn’t have done it if she thought I was straight, but I was safe. Not even her husband, Steve, had a problem with us spending so much time together or sharing a cabin. He trusted her, and since we met, he knew I wasn’t just pretending to be gay to get his wife into bed with me.

“Thanks a lot!” she cried. “This Christmas will be epic, and it’s all thanks to you.”

Gina pulled on my arm as Emily danced away, and I glanced down at her. “What’s up?”

“Can we go eat now?” she asked. “I’m kind of hungry.”

“Me too,” Reggie replied. “You promised to take us to the waterslides after we eat.”

“After we eat we’ll have to relax a little before using the pool,” I told them. “Let’s go see if they have pizza or fries.”

With my hands around their shoulders, I guided them through the throng of dancing people. Reggie tripped over someone, and I grabbed him in time before he went sprawling.

“Reg, you okay, son?” I queried, but he looked more embarrassed at his clumsiness than hurt.

“Son?”

At the familiar voice, I glanced up to find myself right next to Arthur who Reggie had tripped over. I groaned. The ship was huge. What was the likelihood of me running into Arthur so soon? He was looking from Reggie to me, his face drained of color. He thought I was Reggie’s dad. It was all obvious because he heard me call Reggie son, and the kid did look like me. Of a truth, he looked like his dad, but David and I also resembled so he ended up looking like me as well.

“It’s not what you think.” I raised my voice to be heard over the loud music. I wanted to tell him who the kids were, but not in front of them. After the past year, I didn’t think I could go back to being just an uncle. I loved them like they were my own kids. “I can’t talk about this now, Arthur, but I will explain. I promise.” I was tempted to invite him to have lunch with us, but I didn’t think it was right for me to deprive the kids of my attention to fawn over the man before me who looked like he wanted to strangle me.

“I thought we were going to get lunch,” Gina grumbled tugging on my arm.

“I need to go,” I told him, hoping he would give me a chance to explain. If not today, if not during this trip which was for the kids, then maybe after my mother had them, and I was once more alone and homeless.

A sick feeling entered my gut. Would he still want me when he found out I didn’t have anywhere to live? I could probably find a shelter a few nights, but it was rare to get sheltered every night. I didn’t want to blow what little money I had on a motel. A man like Arthur would be repulsed by my condition if he knew the truth. He would be repulsed by my past.

It was best to end things from now.

“Come on, kids, let’s go get lunch.” I shepherded the kids away from him, and even when they peered back to look at Arthur as though they sensed he was someone special, I didn’t dare to look at him.

“Uncle Bailey, why’s that man staring at us?” Reggie asked me. “I don’t think he likes us.”

“You don’t judge a book by its cover, Reggie.”

He wrinkled his nose. “You sound like Mommy.”

And the sadness returned. I had kids who needed my undivided attention. Watching the way Reggie clammed up after mentioning his mom was a dead giveaway they were still mourning the loss of their parents. I had no time to give to Arthur.