Logan was never exactly sure what happened after Pescado leveled the gun at him. He only really remembered what he felt at the time. Even then it was a blur.

He just remembered being gripped by an overwhelming desire to stay alive. Fear and adrenaline surged through him. He remembered screaming, or at least he remembered it as a roar. He was later told that people outside had heard a scream.

There hadn't been a lot of space between him and Pescado. The other man had still been out of breath from moving the television stand. He remembered charging forward, but after that it was all just a series of shouts and an angry, intensely violent struggle. He didn't remember getting the gun away from the detective. He barely remembered tripping and sprawling on the floor as Pescado stalked towards him.

What he did remember, what he would never forget, was pulling the trigger and stopping his attacker. No sooner had the gun gone off than he'd heard shouting outside. Someone had begun trying to break down the front door. He had been terrified, but also petrified by the fact that he had just killed a man.

Then the window was smashed open and Lacey Aguado had come charging in, alone and armed. Had she just been lurking outside? It seemed strange to him that she had been on the scene so quickly. He had cast the gun in his hands aside. She was yelling at him but he couldn't remember what she had said.

The next thing he knew he was in handcuffs. Lacey was calling for backup and dragging him outside through the broken window. Everything after that had just been a series of people asking him questions. They all wanted to know what happened, how it happened, why was he even here. All he could manage to say was that he was trying to stay alive. That was it.

Whether they believed him or not didn't seem to matter. Two thoughts were echoing in his head right now. The first was that he really, desperately needed to see Ramos. He couldn't remember a time when he had felt as sick to his stomach as he did then. The second was that if he was sent to prison for murder, he was as good as dead.

Surrounded by cops, held in place by an EMT, handcuffed, and numb, Logan had felt like his life had ended. Maybe not in the physical sense, but it had ended all the same. When Ramos finally walked into his field of vision, he felt as if a ray of sunshine had been directed onto him. The warmth it brought was reassuring, even if the world around him was still bleak.

"Ramos..." he managed at last as the detective finished delivering his statement to everyone present.

"Are you injured?" asked Ramos, stepping towards him and looking him in the eye.

"No, I don't think so." Logan shook his head. There was something wrong with Ramos. The look in his eyes wasn't the same as it had been this morning. Of course he had just lost his partner, Logan had been the one to end him, could that have broken whatever spell they had been under?

Logan's chest still felt as if it was about to burst with joy at the sight of Ramos. As far as he was concerned, no one else in the world mattered as much as the gruff looking alpha.

"I'll try to get you released. They'll have to take you down to the station and record your statement first though." Ramos straightened and turned away. For a moment, Logan thought he saw tears glistening in Ramos' eyes. But before he could say anything, Ramos had begun walking away with Aguado trailing along beside him.

Logan was too drained to feel very much. He was tired and he felt sick. He tried to express this to the EMT but he didn't feel like they were listening very well. As soon as he was cleared, Logan was loaded into one of the police vehicles and driven down to the police station. As they lead him inside, he felt as if his entire life had come full circle. Had it really only been three days since he'd been picked up in the raid against Julio?

He slumped down in one of the chairs beside some detective's desk. This detective, not his detective, bombarded him with questions and took notes. The man personally seemed to regard him with disgust. He could feel the eyes of everyone in the bullpen bearing down on him. He was a cop killer after all. That was more than enough to earn him their disdain.

The holding cells were full of thugs from Julio's gang. The benches too were still lined with more of the scum. Someone had enough sense not to put him close to either of those groups. Logan could tell from the look in their eyes that the order on his life had gone wide and spread far. A hidden shiv, a couple of well placed kicks, and they would earn whatever payday had been promised to them. Some of them looked like they might have agreed to do it without any incentive at all.

The police shackled Logan to one of the tables in a small, unused boardroom room near the back of the building. He could hear people coming and going outside and see their silhouettes through the frosted window in the door. There seemed to be a lot of arguing just outside his door and it didn't take him long to realize that they had posted a guard outside, probably to keep someone from sneaking in and prematurely ending his life.

The attitude towards cop killers on La Bonita was one of extreme prejudice. It wasn't often that a member of the police force died on the job. When they did it was usually the result of a natural disaster or a freak accident. Even Julio had avoided anything messy involving the police.

Logan imagined that his past record didn't help matters much. He was a criminal, he had come up on the streets. It likely wasn't much of a leap for them to picture him as a criminal. He had been a known associate of Julio's after all.

Several hours passed. Logan's only companion was the incessant ticking of the clock on the wall above the door. While people in long meetings might find it comforting to know exactly how long they'd been there and how much time was left, for him it only served as a constant reminder of how long it had been since they'd shoved him back here.

Eventually, the door opened. An unfamiliar officer entered the room followed by Ramos.

Logan's heart skipped a beat. He sat up a little straighter and tried to catch the alpha's eye, but Ramos seemed to be avoiding his gaze.

"What's going on?" he asked as the officer began unlocking his shackles.

"Lupita is waiting outside," said Ramos, folding his arms. He took a deep breath before continuing. "We're releasing you into her custody for the time being. Don't do anything stupid. You're off the hook for murder, but you're still a person of interest in an ongoing investigation."

Logan rubbed his wrists as he rose from the chair. He resisted the urge to dart across the room and embrace Ramos. From the look on the detective's face, that was the last thing he wanted. Taking a deep breath, and pushing past the needy lump of emotion welling in his throat, he followed the officer out of the room.

The stares following after him could have melted a hole through three feet of lead. Clearly, there were plenty of people in the building who still thought he was a cold-blooded cop killer and deserved to hang. Not that hanging was even done anymore, but Logan got the feeling they would erect a gallows just for him if they had the chance.

"Logan!" Lupita cried out as soon as he set foot outside. The broad shouldered woman immediately pulled him into a warm hug.

The warmth of her embrace didn't chase away the black feeling in his gut. It only served to highlight everything that had gone wrong today.

"Let's go home," she said softly as she slid an arm around his shoulders and began crossing the parking lot towards main street. "I ended up hiring a couple of the regulars as bouncers," she explained as they walked up the street. "It's long past time and they're glad of the work. You remember Harry and Manuel, right? Well, they're both used to manual labor, big strong guys. We're not going to have a repeat of what happened last night.

"Lucy went down to the printers and printed out a great big sign that's posted in the dining room now with all of our rules. They've always kind of been unspoken before, but I figured it was high time to get them set in stone and make sure everyone knows that this is a place where they can feel safe." Lupita continued to talk as they turned down the side streets towards the soup kitchen.

Logan wasn't really paying attention until they reached the foot of the front steps leading up to the building that he had called home for so long. That seemed like a lifetime ago now. He glanced up the street. Just a few buildings over was the clinic. The doctor was known to do some charity work for the clinic from time to time. The unsettling, sickly feeling in his gut had gone on long enough.

To his relief, Lupita didn't say anything. She merely supported and walked alongside him as he approached the clinic building.

The lobby was clean, white, and yet somehow still inviting. A cheery looking nurse sat behind an oversized desk at the far end of the room.

"How can I help you?" she asked with a bright eyed expression. Somehow, the warmth of her smile, combined with Lupita's reassuring presence, helped Logan to relax a little.

"I...I've been feeling sick. I can't really explain it." Logan knew he wasn't doing a good job explaining. It wasn't the kind of thing he could really put into words.

"Like a stomach bug?" asked the nurse as she began making some entries on a computer she had in front of her. Logan could tell that she recognized Lupita immediately and skipped over the usual questions about who the bill would be sent to.

"No," said Logan, shaking his head. "It's more of a feeling. I feel...it's hard to put into words. It's going to sound really stupid if I try." Logan sighed before continuing, "there's this guy I met. I haven't known him long. Whenever I'm away from him I feel incredibly ill. Worse than I've ever felt before. I know it just sounds like some stupid infatuation, but I swear it's not..." his voice trailed off as he glanced at the two women and realized that neither of them could possibly understand. "I'm sorry, it's nothing..."

"No, it's not." The three of them glanced towards the front door of the clinic where the doctor had made his entrance. He looked tired and had a backpack slung over one shoulder. He must have just returned from making his daily house calls. "I'm assuming you've been infatuated before, yes?" The doctor asked as he approached. Without waiting for an answer, he continued, "I'm sure you can tell the difference between a fleeting emotion and when something is actually physically out of the ordinary."

Logan felt slightly reassured by the doctor's words. "Then what's wrong with me?"

"Why don't we head back into one of the exam rooms where we can talk in private. I'm sure there are some things you'd rather keep to yourself." The doctor glanced at Lupita and the nurse before holding open the door to the back of the clinic.

Logan nodded gratefully.

A few moments later, he was sitting in an exam room while the doctor was taking notes.

"So you say you feel ill when you're away from this particular gentleman?" asked the doctor.

"It's not like actually being sick though. It's like my heart is being crushed and there'll never be sunshine again. I feel...I feel like I physically need to be around him at all times. Otherwise my entire world is going to end," explained Logan. It just sounded stupider every time he tried to say it out loud.

"And I assume you two have engaged in sexual activity?" The doctor didn't look up from the clipboard.

"Yes."

"Did you feel this way towards him before you slept with him?"

"I mean...I thought he was cute. I...but no, I didn't feel like this towards him. We only met a few days ago. Then we hooked up. I didn't start feeling really needy towards him until after that. Then today it became crippling. I nearly died today and the only thing I could think about was that would mean I wouldn't get to see him again," Logan chuckled mirthlessly.

"So you're aware that the way you feel towards him isn't normal?" continued the doctor.

"Yeah, I guess."

"And you're not confusing it for love or some other emotion."

"I'm pretty sure. I mean, how can I be in love with someone I barely even know?" Saying those words aloud made Logan's heart ache. He pressed a palm against his chest and winced.

The doctor took note of his reaction nodded to himself. "One last question. Did you use protection?"

"Excuse me?"

"When you had sex. Did you use a condom, or birth control? Did he at least pull out?"

"It's been a hectic couple of days. I was arrested, my birth control pills are probably still back at my ex's place. I didn't...I thought that stuff hung around in your system for a few days?" Logan looked up into the disapproving glare of the doctor.

"Let me try to explain what I believe is happening here."