Pleased that I finally have the new remote set up for the mechanical bull, I wonder why the hell I’m putting so much time and effort into fixing it in the first place. Ever since making me help him pull it out, Pedro and I have been tinkering with it way too much.
At first, I thought it was a dumb idea. But it started bringing back memories of when we were young and idealistic. The world was our oyster and all that shit.
Where did the last twenty years of our lives go? I think to myself, even though I know the answer. They went right into this farm.
Normally, it doesn’t bother me. I have a full life… a home. A successful business. A program helping to put successful young adults out in the world. Good friends. I love these things. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. So why am I starting to question if it’s all enough?
I think Nio being born, combined with this weird rift between Greer and I just brought to the surface the insecurities that I don’t normally notice. Insecurities that like to convince me I missed my chance. I missed my chance at being a father. Maybe I even missed my chance at finding the love of my life.
I don’t know why it wasn’t in the cards for me, but every day after my fortieth birthday I get further away from ever having the opportunity for either of those things.
Pushing away my thoughts I focus on the task at hand… trying out the new remote.
I climb up in the saddle, positioning myself as well as possible before securing the remote in its cradle. It’s a little awkward trying to get the reign around it, so I make a mental note to adjust the cradle’s location when I know it works.
Pressing the power button, the machinery hums to life. That’s a good sign. Turning the knob slowly with my left hand, we start moving. Rocking back and forth in a smooth motion. So far so good.
Turning a little more and pressing a button, we go a little faster, slow spins intermixing with the bucking.
I give it a few seconds to make sure it doesn’t glitch before turning the knob again, moving at a more respectable bronc riding speed.
Pleased with myself for fixing a thirty-year-old piece of machinery, I relax into the motion and enjoy ride, letting my inner twenty-year-old come out and play.
Spinning toward the door, I glance up to see Greer leaning against the jam, smirking at me.
“I know those hips can go faster than that,” she flirts and I know she’s referring to that night together.
Pressing the stop button, the machine slows down smoothly, until finally coming to rest with Greer and me facing each other.
“What are you doing here? With the way you seem to be avoiding me, I figured I was going to have to come track you down.”
I don’t mean to sound rude or angry, but when she grimaces I realize my words have come across snippier than I intended.
Dropping my head, I apologize quickly. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong.”
She pushes off the door way and walks my direction. “No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I wasn’t avoiding you…”
“You kind of were.”
“Okay fine. I kind of was. But not for the reason you think.” Teetering around while trying to navigate her way through the eighteen-inch-thick landing mats, she finally comes to a stop next to me. I throw my leg over the bull to stand in front of her and pull her into my arms, hugging her tight. She reciprocates immediately, wrapping her arms around my neck. Breathing in deep, I just enjoy the feel of her.
“I’ve missed you. I’m sorry I left you to implement a punishment I had no right to give. I wasn’t even thinking.”
Pulling back, she gazes into my eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I would have fought with Oli anyway. It’s kind of inevitable.”
“Then what happened? Why did you disappear?”
She begins plucking invisible link off my shirt while she speaks. “I think I wasn’t so much angry that you punished him as much as I was angry that he has to be punished at all. I’m tired of it, Ace. I’m tired of being embarrassed when people see him melt because I’m afraid of the judgment. I’m tired of having to give these punishments at all. And I think when you did it, and did it better than me, I questioned my own ability.”
“Babe—”
“No listen,” she interrupts so I comply, knowing she needs to get it all out. “I’ve spent a lot of years being isolated from everyone except teachers at Oli’s school and online friends. Moving here is the best thing we ever did, but I think it’s taking me some time to get used to the fact that there’s no judgment here. My brother isn’t silently condemning me. Neither is Joie. Isaac certainly didn’t flinch when Oli started yelling.
I snicker through my nose. “No, I’m pretty sure he was moving onto his second helpings by the time we got back into that room.”
“Someone needed to. The fridge is still full and I just dropped half the leftovers off with Brittany.”
“Are you who her company was?”
She nods. “Of course. I needed to get my hands on that baby before he stops smelling like a newborn and starts smelling like a stinky toddler.”
I want to laugh because I know full well how stinky that baby will be with Pedro as a dad, but I don’t. I’m too grateful for her being here, sharing her fears.
“Anyway,” she continues. “I’m working on shifting my way of thinking. I’m going to try to remember that we’re a team. Taking the dating out of the equation, you are one of his mentors through school and I’m his mom. We work together for his well-being no matter where we are.”
I’m not sure if it makes me happy to know she’s come to this conclusion. I don’t want to support her because of my position in the school. I want to help her because I love her. Not that she knows it yet. But I also don’t want to push now that she’s finally processing her own issues. “Does thinking about it that way help?”
“It does. It makes me feel less like I’m giving up control and that I’m a bad parent. More like I’m tag teaming with someone who truly understands.”
Now that’s a statement I feel good about. Cupping her cheek, I stare into her brown eyes. “I do understand. And I promise I will never, ever judge you as a parent. I love you, Greer.”
Her eyes widen in shock, but quickly soften as a smile takes over. “I love you, too, Grayson.”
She leans up on her tip toes and presses her lips to mine, making my world finally start spinning again. I didn’t realize how much it had stopped until now. “God, I missed you,” I mumble against her mouth.
“I missed you, too,” she whispers in response and pulls away, running her hands down my chest and licking her lips. “Now that we’ve got that cleared up, what are you doing out here anyway?”
Shifting my body so I can grab the remote, I show her my new device. “Pedro and I have been working on this a little bit and I was testing it out. Making sure it works right.”
“And does it?”
“So far so good.” Noticing a sultry look in her eye, I cock my head at her. “What? What are you thinking?”
She pushes away from me, walking around the bull, sliding her hand down the back of it and trying to sway her hips. It looks less like a sway and more like she’s off balance since she’s stepping on eighteen inches of padding. But if she feels like being playful, I’m not going to call her out.
“Can I try?”
My eyes pop wide. “Riding the mechanical bull?”
She flashes me a flirty grin. “I wanna see how hard I can ride it.”
How does this woman always make my brain short out? I blink once. Twice. Then scramble to my feet and help her up.
“Are you sure about this?” I ask, double checking that she really thinks this is a good idea. Somehow, I suspect she’s never been on one of these before. This is going to be interesting.
“Let me ride, cowboy.” She tries to be flirty, but I can see that suddenly she’s a bit unsure. Like it was a good idea when it was in her head, but now that she’s sitting on top, not so much.
But I admit, I’m a little turned on by this game, slowly I turn the knob, giving it just enough juice to rock back and forth. Her hips coordinate with the motion and I suddenly have flashbacks to the night she was riding me. Remembering how much she liked that, I give the knob a tiny little nudge.
They begin to move faster and Greer throws her arm above her head, trying her best to imitate a bronc rider and failing miserably. In fact, she may be more uncoordinated riding than she is dancing.
“Give me more!” she yells, really getting into it. Her lack of balance is coming out full force, but I can tell she’s having fun, so I comply, giving the knob one more nudge.
That nudge is all it takes for her to lose her grip completely and she goes flying off the bull, landing in a heap just a few feet away.
“Greer!” I yell and run to her, dropping to my knees and scan her body for injury. “Are you ok? Where are you hurt?”
She puts her hand on her head and grimaces. “In my pride. My pride is really, really hurting right now.”
I can’t help the laugh that bursts out of me. “Are you hurt anywhere else besides that?”
“No,” she grumbles as she sits up and straightens her clothes. “That was supposed to be an act to turn you on.”
“Oh trust me,” I say as I grab the back of her neck and kiss her lightly on the lips. “That was sexier than when Deborah Winger tried to impress John Travolta.”
She crinkles her nose in disgust. “Urban Cowboy? Seriously? That was a terrible movie.”
“I had my first wet dream to that scene.”
Her eyebrows raise and her demeanor completely changes with that information. “Really.”
“Really.” Leaning over her, I press into her body forcing her back onto the mat. She runs her hands down my shoulders and across my back, never breaking eye contact. “I’ve always fantasized about a sexy woman riding a mechanical bull and then taking her right there on the floor next to it once her hips were nice and warmed up.”
Grounding my own hips into hers, she gasps. That’s my cue to kiss her again. So I do. Hard and fast, plunging my tongue I her mouth like my life depends on it. She responds, thrust for thrust and before I even realize what’s happening, she starts laughing.
Pulling back, I look at her quizzically.
“Urban Cowboy, Ace? Really?”
Smiling wide, I lean down to nuzzle into her. “What’s wrong with a teenage cowboy dreaming about a hot chick practicing her bull riding? They were practically forcing me to picture her naked.”
She smiles again, making my heart swell. This is the woman I love. The best thing that has happened to me in a long time and if I could keep her right here like this with me forever, I would.
“Trying it out was fun and all, but I don’t think you’re ever going to get me up on the dusty thing without panties on.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Shifting above her, I rest my hips between her legs and grind for good measure. “Besides, I have other ideas on how we workout those sexy hips of yours.”
So we do. Several times.
And it’s amazing.