The lake has always been one of my favorite parts of this property. One of my favorite places to be.
When we were young, my friends and I would race out here to go swimming in the summer time because the water was always cool. We’d go fishing and canoeing. It was that ideal childhood everyone always talks about.
By the time we hit high school, we started having bon fires out here. A few times we even convinced some of the girls to skinny dip in the middle of the night. Nothing like some moonlight reflecting off a girl’s creamy skin to make the crazy teenaged boy hormones go nuts. It’s a wonder none of us drown.
So this place holds a lot of good memories for me. I was excited when Greer agreed to bring the kids out here so we could all go fishing. It’s one of my favorite ways to relax and it might be good for Oli to get his hands on a fishing pole. Although I wouldn’t know. About forty-five second after the worm went on the hook and it all went in the water, Oli got bored. I don’t know what he was expecting. Maybe some sort of giant salmon or a shark. I kept trying to explain to him that no, the guy from River Monsters has never been here. We’re just looking for a few good-sized trout. That apparently wasn’t good enough for him. And it was taking too long.
So he’s off hunting frogs, Greer hanging out on the pier, shoes off, legs stretched out, just enjoying the last of the warm sun on her face and being out of the office, Julie and I sitting on the edge feet dangling toward the water.
There’s not much cell reception out here either, which means there’s no way she can get sucked back into working. Don’t get me wrong, I understand what it’s like to be a business owner. You’re never really away from the office, even when you’re away from the office. But one thing I’ve learned over the last month or so is that Greer never has any downtime. She has to take advantage of the time Oli is away by working, and when Oli is home, the battles are pretty constant. This may be the first chance she’s really had to truly relax in, well, in years.
“How come you don’t have any kids?”
Julie’s question shouldn’t take me by surprise. She’s not the first one to ask me. I glance over my shoulder at Greer who just looks at me and shrugs. I guess she wants to know the answer, too.
“Just wasn’t in my life plan, I suppose.”
“You know that’s weird, right?”
That comment actually does take me by surprise. I never thought being single and childless at my age could see strange, but I guess from a fifteen-year-old’s perspective it is.
“What makes it weird?”
She gently pulls on the fishing pole like I taught her, trying to entice a fish to bite. “You’re just really old to not have any kids and not be married. Or at least divorced. Wait, are you divorced? That would make it less weird.”
I bark a laugh. “No, I’m not divorced. I guess the right woman just hasn’t come along yet. It’s kind of hard to date when you run a farm.”
She looks at me like that’s the dumbest thing she’s ever heard. “Why? You’re the boss. You can do what you want.”
I chuckle and gently tug on my own fishing pole. So far, we’re not having much luck. “There’s more to it than just that. My work day usually starts at about four-thirty and doesn’t end until about eight at night.”
Greer says “Ew” behind us and I know she’s thinking about those long hours.
“Why do you have to work so much?”
For being the quiet one, Julie sure is full of questions. I’m going to pretend that’s a good sign; that she wants to get to know me better.
“The cows aren’t going to milk themselves. And the animals can’t feed themselves either. It’s a big responsibility taking care of animals. I like it, but it doesn’t leave a lot of time for going out and meeting people and since we live in the middle of nowhere, not many people come out to visit.”
“Do you want them? Kids, I mean?”
How do I answer that? Do I? Maybe. I guess I gave up that dream a long time ago so it’s not something I really think about, but I have to admit, when I held baby Nio at the hospital the other day, I realized how much I missed by staying secluded on the farm. It was never my intention to be this old and still alone, but it still happened.
“I think,” I begin, trying to be careful with my words. “If I’m supposed to be a dad, it’ll happen. I’m not out looking for that, but if the stars align and it happens, that would be okay with me.”
She nods and reels her fishing line all the way in, then casts it out into the water again.
“You’re getting really good at that,” I remark, impressed with how quickly she’s picking it up. Looking over, I see Oli has ditched his shoes and waded ankle deep into the water staring intently at something underneath. I’m curious to know what it is, but not curious enough to scare off any fish that may start being interested in our hooks.
“Do you read?”
Greer sniggers behind us, like she knew this was coming. Honestly, I expected this one long before now.
“A bit.”
“So what house are you?”
I crinkle my brows and look at her. She’s staring intently at me like my answer is the most important one of this entire conversation. I’m about to fail because I have no idea what she’s talking about.
“What… house?”
I glance quickly at Greer for some sort of indication as to what the right answer is. She’s too busy snickering to help me out, the traitor.
Julie rolls her eyes. “What house? Harry Potter?”
“Oh. I’ve never read those.”
Another eye roll. “How can you call yourself a reader if you’ve never read Harry Potter?”
Reeling my hook all the way in, I attach another worm and cast the line again. “Well hold on now. I tried reading the book. Hel…heck… I tried watching the movies but they just didn’t catch my interest.”
Julie sighs like I’ve disappointed her. “Fine. What about the Percy Jackson books?”
“Nope.”
“Hunger Games?”
“I watched the movies,” I say excitedly thinking I got one answer right. She purses her lips and quirks an eyebrow at me, looking at me over the top of her glasses.
“Not the same,” she deadpans. Guess I failed that one, too. “Do you read anything interesting at all?”
“Last book I read was Saving Private Ryan. It was fascinating. Did you read that one?” I already know how she’s going to answer, but I can’t help holding my breath that maybe we’ll have found some common ground. Instead, she crinkles her nose like she smells something bad.
“I’m not into historical drama.”
“That’s not historical drama. It’s based on a true story.”
“Yeah, no.”
Before I can open my mouth to respond, Julie gasps and her eyes get wide. Her pole is bending and her line is moving.
“Ace…” she pleads, not sure what to do.
I secure my own pole on the pier and turn to help her. “Don’t panic, Julie. Hold on tight,” I instruct. “Now reel it in slowly. Good. Now stop. Let the fish fight for just a little before reeling it in more.”
I talk her through her very first catch for the next several minutes, Greer standing over our shoulders watching. Even Oli has noticed something happening and splashed his way over our direction.
It takes a several minutes, but sure enough, Julie reels in a good-sized catfish.
“I did it!” she squeals, holding it up by the line as Greer snaps a pic with her phone. “I caught a fish, Mom!”
“You did,” Greer says with a laugh.
Oli, still without shoes or socks and wet from playing in the water, grimaces. “I don’t want to eat that.”
If it’s possible, Julie’s eyes widen again. “We can eat that? You mean I just caught our dinner?”
“Of course you did,” I exclaim, knowing we need about six more of those to actually have a decent sized meal. I don’t say it though. I don’t want to ruin Julie’s excitement. “What do you think we came fishing for? That is some good eating right there.”
Julie dances around for a few seconds, still holding onto her line, until the fish makes one last flop scaring the shit out of Julie and making Greer and I laugh. Oli, still not happy about the idea of eating our catch and sad that it died, wanders away. I wonder if he realizes where all the meat from the grocery store comes from. He might never eat again if he found out what the live version of beef is.
“Greer, grab me the ice chest, will you?” She rolls it over to me and I spend the next several minutes talking Julie through safely getting the fish off the hook. She’s a natural so far and I realize she and I are more alike than I first suspected.
We spend the next several hours talking fish and books and the various critters Oli catches. I laugh way too hard when Greer screams when the lizard Oli shows her jumps on her lap, and Julie about busts my ear drum when she catches a second fish.
I’ve always liked my life. Felt like I landed exactly where I needed to be. But glancing at the people around me in my favorite place in the world, I realize Julie may be more astute than I gave her credit for. This is what I’m missing in my life—family. Complete with kids and a partner and lazy days when the fish aren’t biting a lot but we’re enjoying it anyway.
Like a ton of bricks has fallen all around me, jarring me from the monotony I’ve been stuck in for so long I realize this is what I want. It’s only been a couple months. It’s way too soon. But in this exact moment, I think I’ve fallen in love with Greer. Not just with her tenacity and her strength. I love how she puts people before herself. I love her humor. And I guess it shouldn’t surprise me, but I love her kids as well.
I’m so shell shocked by the revelation, I find myself staring out at the water, deep in thought. I want them. All of them. I want to provide for them. I want to make them smile and laugh. I want to help celebrate milestones, and help pick up broken pieces when they come. I want to find a place in all their lives and them to find a place in mine.
“Ace.” I look at Greer who has a strange look on her face. “You okay? You’ve been staring at that water for a while now.”
Smiling up at her, trying to disguise the shellshock I feel, I nod. “Yeah. Sorry. Must have zoned out. You guys ready to head back to the house? Learn how to fry up some fresh fish?”
“Yes!” Julie yells at the same time Oli groans a “Nooooooo.”
Greer shakes her head in amusement and then adds, “But we don’t have enough for dinner.”
“Don’t worry.” I push myself to my feet and begin packing up our supplies. “I always freeze some when the fish are biting a lot, just for times like these. It’s cheaper and fresher than going to the store.”
She gives me a mega-watt smile and spends a few minutes arguing with Oli about putting his shoes back on while helping put everything away.
My heart swells with excitement that this could be my future. I just have to take things slow and prove my intentions are genuine since they’ve all had a lot of hurt. But if I’m honest with myself… I can’t wait.