FOUR
Ana
“Care to fill us in on what you and lover boy did on Saturday night after we left?” Rae asks me. It’s Monday and Rae, Mia and I are having lunch at a café near our office. The three of us work at Raynier Publishing, publishers of fashion and lifestyle magazine, Zadie. Rae is the style director, Mia is the vice president of digital media, and I’m the advertising manager. I met Mia during my first week at Raynier five years ago, and we met Rae almost a year later on a trip to New York City. She was working at the New York office at that time.
“Wait. Did I miss something? What happened on Saturday?” Mia asks, looking at me with curiosity.
“You were busy with Gavin,” I point out, trying to avoid talking about Luke. “What happened to you?”
Rae slants me a look. She knows what I’m up to and she’s not going to let me get away with it.
“All I’m going to say is that the man is persistent. He took me home on Saturday and he succeeded in convincing me to give him my number.” Mia shakes her head like she can’t believe she actually gave Gavin her phone number.
“He told Cole and Luke that he likes you,” Rae tells her.
Mia lets out a breath. “He asked me out on Saturday but I turned him down. Yesterday, he sent me a bouquet of white Oriental Lilies. They bloom in the summer so I have no idea where he got them from. He called me this morning and asked me if I’d like to go for a hot air balloon ride this weekend. Apparently it’s for charity and his company is sponsoring it. I couldn’t say no especially after he told me that it’s for a children’s hospital. But I made it clear to him that it wasn’t a date.”
“And of course he agreed to that. He still gets to spend time with you,” Rae says, laughing lightly. “Why are you being so resistant? From what Cole tells me, he’s a really nice guy. And he’s clearly very easy on the eyes.”
“Yeah, Mia. It won’t hurt to give him a chance. I saw the way he was looking at you,” I say.
“You know when you see someone and you feel a zing, and it feels like your whole world shifts? I didn’t believe in things like that until it happened to me. I felt like Jake and I were the only people in the bar that night. I can’t describe how drawn I felt to him. It really doesn’t feel right with anyone else.”
“Mia, it’s been two years. It’s time to move on,” I say gently.
“I’m not ready. I wish I was but I’m not,” she says sadly. “I don’t expect to ever see him again but . . .”
“Well, I’m glad you’re going on the ride with Gavin. It’s a good first step,” Rae says. Then she turns to me with a mischievous grin. “Okay, Ana. Your turn to spill. What happened after we left?”
“I stayed over,” I say with deliberate casualness.
“You spent the night with Luke?” Mia asks in a voice barely above a whisper, her eyes wide with surprise.
“Yep.”
“Wow! Why am I even surprised? You’ve been drooling over him since the day you saw him.”
“So, what happened?” Rae asks, curiosity shining in her eyes.
“Nothing happened. He took me home the next morning.”
“So, that’s it?”
“Yeah.” Rae looks disappointed with my answer.
“What do you mean? You’re not seeing him again?” Mia asks.
“No, I’m not. Luke apparently doesn’t date.”
“Did he tell you that?”
“Yes, and he told me that he wasn’t going to call me the next day.”
“He did?” Rae doesn’t look too happy about that.
“And you’re okay with that?” Mia asks before I can respond to Rae.
“Yeah. I am.”
Mia eyes me, studying me intently. “No, you’re not.”
“Look –”
“Be honest, Ana. It’s just Rae and me here.”
Sighing, I run a hand through my hair. “Okay. Fine. I admit. I’m not cool with it. I wish I was but . . . I’m not.” I look at my two friends who are looking at me with concerned expressions. “I want to be okay with only one night with him, but somehow I feel like I gave him more than my body. Something happened, and it didn’t feel like just sex to me. I don’t know . . . I don’t know what I’m saying.” How do I explain to them that one night with him has me craving more? That I loved being in his arms? That it felt like that’s where I was meant to be? That I’m worried I’m going to be like Mia, comparing every man to him and finding them lacking? And that it scares me? How do I explain all that?
“The first time I was with Cole, I felt like he claimed my body and my heart. Of course, I stubbornly fought my feelings for him but he didn’t let me push him away. I finally gave in. So I think I understand some of what you might be feeling.”
“I haven’t been on a date in almost two years. If I had known you were going to spend a night with Luke, I’d have talked you out of it.”
“You couldn't have stopped me, Mia. No one could. And if I had the chance, I’d do it again.”
“He must have left quite an impression,” Rae says.
“Believe me, he did.” I decide to give them a summary of what happened when I woke up in his bed in the morning.
Rae is gaping at me, like I just told her that unicorns are flying around London. “You showered together, and he washed your hair? From what I’ve heard, he doesn’t let anyone sleep over.”
“And he made you eat breakfast before taking you home?” Mia turns to Rae. “That doesn’t sound like a typical one-night stand to me.”
“I was surprised too,” I say. “I wasn’t expecting him to do all that. But I know that there won’t be a second time. I guess it’s the way he sounded when he said goodbye.”
“But he asked you for your number, right?”
“He did,” I confirm.
“You’ll be hearing from him. I can almost guarantee it,” Rae says, smiling broadly.
As I look at my two friends’ smiling faces, I hate the spark of hope I feel.