ADAM

 

 

 

I opened the door expecting Rho, but it was Marcus with his usual bottle of whiskey and the spicy pine scent he wore, drowned my nostrils.

Marcus was a great looking man, tall and a little overbearing, an intimidating presence for anyone. But today, he looked like he made an extra effort to look his best. He was wearing a suit that looked like it was contoured to his body and his green eyes were especially light under the florescent lamp in the doorway. I have to admit, I felt a little taken aback by how handsome he was and instantly felt bad for thinking that way about a person who wasn’t Rho. Not that Rho wasn’t hot. But Rho’s features were grittier and his dark eyes always made my heart beat faster. Marcus was big and heavy but Rho was toned and muscular. And despite being in the same business and being close to each other, the two were nothing alike.

Rho had a down to earth, honest charm, and Marcus was the loud guy who constantly reminded you of his power. Rho was physically more active, but Marcus thrived on intimidation. They were both equally averse to the law, but Rho broke it out of necessity and Marcus broke it to prove that he could break it. There was a fundamental difference in their way of thinking. They both had women (and men) pining after them, and they were used to breaking hearts but Rho didn’t do it anymore. Marcus fucked everyone he wanted and he didn’t feel bad about cheating on his wife. To Marcus, everyone served a purpose. Everyone was a pawn on his chessboard and he used them when he thought he was losing. He forced people to live without owning any part of him but he owned them completely.

“Can I come in?” Marcus held up the bottle.

I let him in and he stepped into the foyer. I closed the door and followed him to the den. “Where’s Rho?”

“He must be on his way,” I told him. “You can wait for him if you want.”

“Actually,” Marcus brought me a drink. “I was hoping I could talk to you.”

I took the glass from him and sat down on the sofa. “Sure, what do you want to talk about?”

Marcus came to stand in front of me. He held out his hands outstretched. “How do I look?”

I grinned. “You look great. Why do you have a date?”

“You think he’ll like me?”

The words surprised me a little. We had never spoken more than two sentences before this and now he was opening up to me? “He? So, it’s a guy.”

“Why, is that a problem?”

“No, I just thought you were straight. You have a wife.”

“Adam, you’re too young to understand but sometimes it’s better to keep two parts of your life separate. There’s a place for a wife and there’s a place for a whore.”

The words pissed me off. “Right.”

“This guy wouldn’t be a whore, Adam. I was trying to make a point. I’m sorry if it seemed rude. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Actually, I don’t think either of those titles are particularly flattering. To be your wife would be to miss out on your passion, and to be your… whore… would be to miss out on your respect.”

He wouldn’t stop staring at me. It was incredibly awkward, being forced to sit there like it wasn’t bothering me. I don’t know what possessed me to speak that way to him, Marcus was known for killing people for less. I wished Rho would come back soon and it wouldn’t be one of those dreaded late nights. I would probably have to make up an excuse to get rid of him.

“It’s strange,” Marcus said, in a gentle voice. “Sometimes, you don’t see your own shortcomings like others do.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“Do you like me?” He questioned me out of nowhere. I guess he must be going through some form of existential crisis. But Marcus asking me if I liked him that had to be a trick question, right?

“Marcus, you’re good looking and generous, and you’re good to Rho. Of course, I like you.”

He took the drink from my hand and set the glass down on the coffee table. “Get up.”

I gingerly stood and before I could think of an excuse to get him to leave, he grabbed me with both hands and pulled me to him. When he tried to kiss me, I shoved at him but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “You’re too weak to overpower me,” he said. “If I wanted I could snap you like a twig.”

“I love Rho, please! I can’t do this, please don’t make me.”

“Rho doesn’t have a clue what he has in you,” Marcus said, and ran a hand over my hair, making me cringe. “He doesn’t know your worth.”

When he tried to kiss me again, I pushed him off me harder but he grabbed my hair and forced me to kiss him. I gave in because I wanted to make him susceptible to my next move, but before I could launch my knee in his groin, there was the sound of crashing glass in the room.

Marcus was finally giving up but when I looked at where the sound came from, I saw Rho standing next to a pile of broken glass. He must have come back from work. He must have been dying to see me. The decorative mirror on the den wall was broken. There was a bottle of wine that lay shattered next to it. He must have come home to celebrate something.

But now, Rho was furious.

And then I realized what he must have seen from where he was standing. From where he was it must have looked like I was a willing participant to the kiss Marcus forced me into. Marcus must have done it on purpose. He knew Rho’s schedule as well as I did. He knew what Rho would see.

I pushed Marcus off me. “Rho, it’s not what it looks like—”

“You can’t blame the boy for being smart,” Marcus said. “He wants to be with someone who has real power. The person who calls the shots, and not his lousy second in command.”

I rushed to Rho to explain things. “That’s not true, Rho! That man is a liar, I love you!”

But Rho stormed out of the room and to the terrace. He was furiously trying to light up a cigarette when I walked in. He finally succeeded and started smoking in front of me. “I thought you were going to quit,” I said in a voice that felt small and weak. I felt responsible even though I hadn’t done anything.

“I changed my mind.”

I knew that was as much a slap in the face as any other insult he might have hurled my way. “Rho, I didn’t do anything, Marcus...”

At this he blew up. His hand was at my throat, and he was about to hit me but for some reason he didn’t do it. I would have felt better if he did. It would have felt like punishment because I had clearly committed a crime to get Rho this mad at me. “No… no, I’m not going to sully myself by hitting a whore like you!” His voice was loud, his neck muscles strained as did the ones on his face.

I wondered if Rho heard the sound of my breaking heart.

Whore.

The word lingered in the air, making everything heavier. Please, take it back Rho. Don’t let it fester. Please. I’m begging you. But Rho had shut me out. There was a wall standing between us, and I knew no way of crossing it. 

And then, he shoved me away and I felt his grip leaving my neck. “If I hadn’t promised to give you a home, I wouldn’t be keeping you around, but I did give you my word. So, feel free to stay here, but I don’t want anything to do with you!”

I went up to him, and groveled. “Please, don’t push me away, Rho! I can’t live without you!”

But he wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t give me a chance to explain, or try to defend myself. He was too angry to let it go. Too angry to even try to make sense of it. And I knew that no matter how much I tried, if Rho’s brain got the impression of Marcus and me, if it got imprinted on his memory, it would probably never come out. “Do you want me to leave?” I wanted to see if the threat of my leaving would change anything but it didn’t.

“I told you, I’m not going to kick you out. I made a promise.”

At the time, it felt like the right move.

He wanted to be rid of me. I wanted him to have what he wanted. It was the least I could do. He had done enough for me. And now, it was time for him to be free.

I went to my room and started loading my stuff into a backpack. I took only what was needed. I left everything behind. In my head, I was thinking I should give him some time to process without me. When his anger lessens, he would come for me. He would realize that I didn’t have any feelings for Marcus, only for him. He was the man I loved, and I couldn’t be without him. He would take back that word. He would let me beg my way back.

I can’t explain what I was going through. I wasn’t sure I’d have the strength to leave, and plenty of times I almost gave up and went back to grovel some more. But I didn’t do it for one reason alone. Because I thought he wanted me to leave. And as much as I understood his anger, I wanted him to stop me. I walked into the den, and Marcus was still there, sipping on bourbon.

“You think he’s going to come to his senses,” he said when he saw me. “But I’ve known Rho since he was a boy. And he will forgive everything but betrayal.”

“I didn’t betray him!” I blurted out in frustration.

Marcus looked patiently at me. “No, but try telling him that.”

I was furious. “You knew this would happen,” I said. “You played us.”

He stood and set his glass down heavily. “I showed you who he really is. He thinks every man who loves him, is there for his rank and his money. He’s never had a family, and never had a relationship. How would he know how to be in one? How would he know not to be selfish?”

“He’s none of those things!”

“Really? Then how come I don’t see him trying to stop you?” he gazed at me, and it made me uncomfortable. “If you were mine, I would never let you leave.”

I didn’t know what game Marcus was playing and I was confused. But earlier, I felt my brain sending out alerts to warn me against this man. I never listened. I never gave it much thought. Never realized how dangerous he was or how convincing.

He was the devil.

Calm, unfettered and unaffected.

Leading me down a sordid path.

I took my backpack and started walking out the door, when Marcus intercepted me. “Where are you off to?”

“None of your business!”

“I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not!”

He grabbed my arm. “Adam, I feel so rotten. I had too much to drink, but regardless, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m supposed to be your elder. I feel like I’ve let you both down. I’m sorry. What I tried to do back there, it won’t happen again.”

“I appreciate your sentiment but I really should be leaving now.”

Marcus looked apologetic. “I didn’t realize what I was doing, until I saw the two of you. You really love him.”

I looked up at him. “Why? Did you think I would be a whore too? That just because you have money and power, I’d leave Rho? Don’t you get it, Marcus? You could put me in a prison cell and I would still find my way to him. I would still love him. He makes me happy. Why do you want to take that away from me?”

“Adam, I’ve apologized and listen, don’t worry about Rho! When his anger finally subsides I will have a serious talk. He will listen to his boss, I assure you.”

I was filled with some hope. “You think so?”

“I told you, Adam. I’ve known him for ages.”

“Do you honestly think he’ll try to reach me, again?”

“Maybe not today, but when the dust is settled. Yes, I know he can’t live without you.”

Marcus took my backpack. “And, I will be rooting for you,” he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Let’s go wait for Rho to come to his senses.”

He led me out of the apartment Rho and I had shared. “I don’t understand… ”

Marcus gestured to the backpack. “You’ll be more comfortable at my house. I’m not going to let you stay in some hotel, it’s not safe.”

“Rho wouldn’t like it…”

“Rho’s not going to find out,” he said. “You have my word.”

“Even so. I’d prefer being in a hotel for the time being.”

“Well, if you insist. At least let me drive you. It would make me feel less of a monster.”

I agreed to it, because I hated seeing him so desperate to correct his mistake. “Okay.”

He looked relieved. “Once again Adam,” he said. “I’m sorry about the misunderstanding. I was out of line, it’s not like me to make rash decisions. It won’t happen again. I give you my word that you will be safe with me.”

“I appreciate your saying sorry. I just hope Rho doesn’t take forever.”  

“Give him some time. You’ll be back together sooner than you know.”

He was smiling and I realized that he was waiting for my permission to leave. “Should we go now?”

“Yes.”

But my feet seemed stuck to the soil of Rho’s home.

I was waiting for an excuse not to leave.

But eventually Rho’s anger won.

Marcus won.

I’ll be back, Rho. I promise. When you’ve had some time to think.

I trust you.