Chapter 12

Couples that have been together a long time finish each other’s sentences. The most popular ending in “shut the fuck up.”

-E-card

Payton

I shuffled out to the kitchen, socks inside out, pants on crooked, and a way too small shirt hitched up over my belly. Don’t even start me on what my hair looked like. I looked like a poster girl for the ‘What Not to Wear, People of Walmart’ funnies you see floating around the internet every so often. I’d managed to get myself out of bed in the middle of the night, but only because I woke up chewing on my pillow mistaking it for the beef jerky I was eating in my dream.

 

I glared at Max as I exited the bed, making sure to throw my pillow over his snoring face as I left the room. The bastard had kept me up for three quarters of the night with his incessant snoring. I’d tried everything short of leaving the room. Hell, I’d even gotten some duct tape and taped it to either side of his nose; that didn’t work.

 

I opened the door and scanned for the other half of my hamburger that I’d had to sneak out of the restaurant with. Freakin’ Max bitched the entire time the waiter was gone to get our change.

 

He’d told me repeatedly that I didn’t need to take that home, that it was half a hamburger, and barely enough to be a light snack. I’d told him that a light snack was all I needed sometimes, and shoved it into the pocket of my hoodie while he was signing the bill.

 

Now, here I was eight hours later, yearning for that cheeseburger as I’d never done for anything before. Except that, it wasn’t there. The mother humper was gone. I couldn’t see it anywhere. I scanned the counter tops, praying that I didn’t forget to put it in the fridge, except I didn’t see it there either. I know for a fact that I’d brought it home, because the whole time we were driving home, I could smell it, and was quite concerned that Max would figure out that I’d brought it home, even though he told me not to bother.

 

I was getting into a real lather now. I wanted that burger so bad that I thought I’d die if I didn’t get it. Walking into the living room, heading for the keys on the coffee table, I stopped dead when I saw the empty to go bag I’d shoved it in, as well as three empty beer bottles, two snack cake wrappers, and an empty glass of chocolate milk.

 

I saw freaking red.

 

Who in their right mind would eat a pregnant lady’s half-freakin eaten hamburger that she had to hide to bring home? What kind of spineless, no-good, worthless rat would do that to his wife? Turning a circle in the living room, my eyes landed on the dowel rods that I was going to use for a Pinterest project. Then on the fabric beside it. My mouth stretched up in a wide smile. He was going to kill me.

 

Forty-five minutes later, I was done, and now determined to wake the sleeping beast. It was now three A.M. and I was going to make that little shit go get me a freaking hamburger if it killed me. He had to pay, and by the end of this day, he would never eat my hamburger again, or anything of mine for that matter.

 

Stomping with determined steps, I walked into our bedroom and snapped the light on with an audible snap. Max came awake instantly, and had his .45 in his hand before he even knew what the situation was. He slept with that bastard under the pillow. It was held in a firm grip as his eyes surveyed the area, and then came to rest on me.

 

His mouth curved into a large smile. I looked down, my pants were still crooked, one pant leg up and one down, my socks in a bunch at my ankles, and my shirt was sideways, half covering my belly and half not. I looked hideous, but there was no time to dwell on the state of my clothes.

 

Hitching my hands up on my hip, I glared my fiercest glare and said, “Where. Is. My. Hamburger?” I punctuated that statement by bursting into tears. My whole badass persona dissolved in the tidal flood.

 

He lost his grin, and his eyes widened when he saw how upset I was.

 

“I honestly didn’t think you would want it. Seriously, if I’d have known you actually wanted it that bad…”

 

I won’t subject anyone to what I said next. I might or might not have gone overboard. I’d only thrown a few things, but none of them connected, so it doesn’t even really count. Let’s just say that I tried not to go all Exorcist on him; but, by the time I was done, he was dressed and heading to his truck to get me a new hamburger.

 

The longer he was gone, the more guilt I felt. I might have over reacted a bit and I felt like a total heel. It wasn’t until the thirty-minute mark of him leaving that I started to worry. It took me ten minutes to get to Dairy Queen and back from Free. If you added the five-minute wait time it takes them to make the food, then he would have been back here fifteen minutes ago. Picking my cell phone up off the table, I called Max’s phone only to hear it vibrating from the other room. Hanging up with a huff, I paced from window to window.

 

Maybe he wasn’t leaving to get me Dairy Queen. Maybe he was more upset then he seemed to be. As I sat, I knew that worrying wouldn’t help anything, but I have the type of mind that always thought the worst.

 

My mind takes weird leaps. For instance, my mom not home to make dinner meant she was lying dead in the grocery store parking lot. My dad didn’t make his usual weekly call, which meant he was taken for ransom by some terrorist organization, being tortured for the government. My brother didn’t come home on time from football practice, then he must have knocked some girl up at a party and he was trying to find a way to tell my parents. Oh, wait. He already did that.

 

The loud rumble of Max’s truck pulled up in front of the house, and I dropped the blanket from around my shoulders and took off outside, launching myself into Max’s arms. He caught me awkwardly, partly due to the food he was juggling, and partly due to my stomach. I wasn’t being deterred though.

 

“I’m sorry!” I wailed as my emotions went haywire yet again.

 

“For what?” Max asked as he kicked the door shut behind him.

 

I didn’t let him go, only wrapped my legs tighter around him when he patted my ass lightly telling me to get down. I ignored him, and let my hand sneak down into the bag and grab a fry.

 

“I’m sorry I’m such a bitch. I don’t know what came over me.”

 

He grinned, and sat down onto the couch with me. I straddled his lap and ate my burgers and fries. Yes, I did say burgers. This was one of the only times in a woman’s life that she was able to eat what she wanted without ridicule, and I was going to live it up. Sucking down the vanilla milkshake, I was in hog heaven when I finished the last slurp of the shake.

 

I gave a lady like belch and then laid my head down on his chest, “Excuse me.”

 

His chest shook, bouncing my head up and down with his laughter. I gave a small smile, and promptly fell asleep.

***

Max

“What the fuck is that?” Jack asked from behind me.

 

My head swung in the direction he was looking, and I saw the ugliest cake I’d ever seen. Large, lopsided and rectangular, it had puke green icing, and Halloween sprinkles. The message on it simply read, ’I’m sorry I’m a bitch.’

 

“What does it look like, Jacky?” I asked jokingly.

 

“I don’t know, or I wouldn’t have asked.” He said seriously.

 

The man was a freaking robot lately. The only time I saw even a semblance of his old self was when the red-headed curvy waitress at The Back Porch waited on him. Just last week he saw her at Skinner’s grocery store and about tripped over his feet to follow her through the store. If I didn’t know the man better, I’d have called him a stalker.

 

“Payton was possessed by the devil last night, and I had to go get her a midnight snack.” I deadpanned.

 

He blinked twice, and then went over to the drawer closest to the fridge, pulled out a knife, and sliced himself a huge chunk. He did however make sure to leave the piece that said ‘bitch’ intact. He was nice like that.

 

“What did you need?” Sam asked as he came into the kitchen, followed closely by James and Elliott.

 

With the entrance of those three, the cake was withered down until nothing was left except for the ‘ch’ in bitch.

 

“I had a problem last night.”

 

“You mean, beside the fact that your wife had a breakdown over the fact that you ate her hamburger that she snuck home?” Gabe said as he walked in, grabbing the piece of cake that was left and popping it in his mouth. His eyebrows were raised in question.

 

I wanted to shove the last piece of cake into his face, but I didn’t. You shouldn’t hurt the love of your sister’s life. If you did, you might end up having her screeching like a banshee in your house, too.

 

“We’ve already gotten over that. Now we’re talking about the bitch that did her best to shoot me last night.” I answered.

 

The silence in the room was deafening. I went to the coffee pot and poured myself a refill before walking to the table, and shoving Payton’s unmentionables to the floor as I sat. Then I thought better of it when I remembered the reaction to the trash and hamburger from last night. Bending over, I picked them up and tossed them into the middle of the table with my boxer briefs before I thought better of it.

 

“Whose are those?” Jack questioned.

 

It was then I’d remembered that Payton’s underwear weren’t normal. Of the five that were not in the middle of the table for everyone to see, every last one of them were from the boys section. Although two of them were solids, you could still tell exactly what they were. There were even two tighty whities.

 

“Uhhh…” I said not knowing what in the hell to say.

 

“Hey, aren’t these the birds that Janie calls Bubbles?” James supplied helpfully.

 

My head went to the table and I started to beat it in slow rhythmical knocks. She was going to kill me. There was no way that they were going to keep this to themselves. After the eleventh time I lifted my head back up and leveled each one of their laughing faces with a serious stare.

 

“I swear to you, if you bring this up and she cries, you will die.” I said in a low voice.

 

“All right, boys. Let’s get back to this matter at hand. What happened last night?” James asked.

 

“I left at oh-three-hundred. I was in line at Dairy Queen for three minutes, and then was on my way back home when the first shot came from my flank. It hit my rear bumper; the other three followed shortly after, but the shooter was the driver, and didn’t have a clear shot. I went down to the Tally Bottoms trying to get them to turn around on themselves, but they didn’t follow. It was the long brown ponytail that clued me in on O’Hare again.” I recounted.

 

“Vehicle?” Elliott asked.

 

“Rental.”

 

“Fuck.” Elliott said.

 

“I didn’t have my piece on me. She had my head all fucked up last night, and I didn’t take it. I should have had her.” I said, disappointed in myself.

 

“My man, your pregnant wife went Hannibal Lector on you. You’re allowed some leeway here.” Gabe said lightly.

 

“There was this one time at band camp,” Elliott started and then snickered. “No really, there was this one time when Blaine was about seven months pregnant that we went out to eat. When we got home, I ate the last scoop of ice cream, and she went ballistic. All screaming and crying, so I went to the store, bought a new one and brought it back, and we started the process all over again because it was the wrong fucking brand. I refused to go back, and she didn’t speak to me for two days.”

 

“When Cheyenne was pregnant with Phoebe, I decided to be helpful and get rid of all the old Tupperware containers in the fridge, except I didn’t know that that was where she had a stash of pudding that she was hiding from me. I’d tossed the food, loaded the dishwasher, and even ran the damn thing. Three hours later when I’m in bed, she comes in there and literally rips me a new one, when I was only trying to help.” Sam related.

 

Gabe’s story was interrupted by the sound of my cell phone ringing from the other room. Getting up, I went to pick it up. Glancing at the screen, I saw a number I was unfamiliar with.

 

“Hello?” I answered.

 

“Hi, Max. This is Trish. I was wondering if you’d have some free time to meet with me.” A cheery voice said.

 

“Trish, as in my neighbor in Hainseville, Trish?” I asked.

 

“The one and only, honey.” Trish laughed.

 

Trish and my parents got very close since they both purchased their acreage around the same time. They both logged with the same logging company, and put cabins not very far apart. When my parents died, Trish watched over our land for me while I was unable to. Ember hadn’t even returned to the place since their death, until very recently.

 

Concern flashing through me, I asked, “When and where, sweet girl?”

 

“Can you come soon, like today, perhaps?” She asked, as fear crept into her voice.

 

“I can be there in an hour if you need me to be.” I explained.

 

“Come up to the house. Gate’s unlocked.” She said steadily.

 

I hung up well and truly concerned. That woman was as tough as they came. Her husband died in the war when she was nineteen and he was twenty-one. She never remarried, and worked their farm by herself until her body just wouldn’t allow her to do it anymore. She retired at the age of seventy and bought the land beside ours not long after that. There she raised quarter horses in her spare time, and watched out for those around her. She was what you would call a busy body. She knew everything that went on around her, and, most of the time, knew it before the cops.

 

Walking back into to the kitchen, I saw that my team helped themselves to a bag of chips and some Little Debbie’s.

 

“Y’all better have those replaced by the time Payton gets off shift.” I said before taking one for myself.

 

“What’s she doing working a day shift, anyway?” Elliott asked before shoving a whole Christmas tree shaped cake into his mouth.

 

“They both switched back to days.” Sam answered around a mouthful of chips.

 

Two of the day shift nurses retired, and freed up two positions for Payton and Cheyenne to move in to.

 

“I need to go out to the land. Anyone want to come?”

 

Sam and Jack had things to do involving the Freebirds, but the rest of the men were up to a little bit of a ride. Midway through December, the weather wasn’t the most pleasant thing to ride in, but the elements didn’t keep the urge of wanting the freedom that the bike allowed. Sometimes, a ride is just what a man needs to clear his mind and come up with some solutions.

 

I changed into some long underwear, and then slipped my jeans back over them. The leather jacket I wore would protect my chest fairly well, but it would still be a cold motherfucker no matter what we did. I slipped on a knit hat that was in the pocket of my jacket and headed out to my bike for the first time that day.

 

It was parked on the side of the building under a portico where the rest of their bikes were housed during the winter. Elliott, James, and Gabe were blocking my view; I couldn’t see what had them roaring in laughter, until I sidled up beside them.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I said, trying to contain my laughter.

 

The woman was nuts. She sewed fucking tassels onto my leather saddlebags. In bright neon pink and purple. The Handlebars now sported tassels as well. In fact, now that I looked more closely, they resembled the ones that used to be on her scooter. She’d put a child’s toy horn on the handlebars, and reupholstered my seat with a Disney princess themed fabric. The only good thing I could say about it was that she used sticky tack instead of glue. If that had been the case, I would’ve busted her ass. The icing on the cake was the flag at the back of the bike that was embroidered with ‘Fat Girl.’

 

“I’m so going to spank her ass.” I said, as I took my phone out and took a picture.

 

I wasn’t necessarily upset that she’d done it, more so that she was out here in the middle of the night doing it while it was so cold outside. I took the offending objects off as best as I could, and piled it on the side of the concrete. Putting on my helmet, I swung my leg over the bike and started the beast up with a throaty growl, cutting off the guffaws of laughter. It was either that or shoot them.

 

The beast was finicky during the wintertime. It took a few minutes to warm up, but once it did, watch out. I hadn’t tried to race her since I was in high school, but I knew damn well that it could hold its own with any newer bikes belonging to the men.

 

The ride over was an adrenaline-charged one. The road to my cabin was set on mostly back roads. Wildlife was prevalent in this section of East Texas. When a ten point buck darted in front of four motorcycles going sixty miles an hour, there’s nowhere else to go but full speed ahead. The call was so close, that I could have put my arm out and slapped the deer on the rump as he passed in front of us.

 

“Did you see that shit?” Gabe asked with wide eyes as we pulled up to Trish’s cabin.

 

There were exclamations of affirmative all around, and we all trumped up the four stairs to reach Trish’s front door. She opened the door quietly, peeking one eye out before opening the door and letting us in. Leaning the shotgun up against the side of the door, she held her arms open for me.

 

I wrapped her up in my arms and gave her a tight squeeze. “How you doing, Trish?”

 

She regarded my face for a few seconds before taking her thumb and rubbing the side of it against the new scar that split my forehead.

 

“Obviously, you forgot to tell me a few things.” She chided.

 

I smiled sheepishly. I was remiss. The woman was very good to me, and here I was, eight months since the last time I’d seen her, and she didn’t even know that I’d been hurt, let alone married and had a kid on the way.

 

I filled her in on my life, and she was genuinely happy for me.

 

“So when will you bring your little woman out here to live?” She asked.

 

“As of right now, we’ll be staying in Kilgore. That’s not saying that we won’t come out here from time to time on the weekends. We’ll still do the hog roast on New Year’s Eve, so you can meet her then.” I said lightly. “Now, tell me what’s got those dark circles under your eyes.”

 

“I’ve been hearing 4-wheelers on your property at all hours of the night. I’m so used to the silence, that hearing them run around for hours every night is keeping me from my sleep. At first I thought it was you, but then a young lady came by yesterday asking for information on you.” She said warily.

 

My breath stalled in my lungs. “What’d she look like?”

 

“Very fit young lady. Hair up in a ponytail. Brown hair, brown eyes.” She described.

 

I let out a few choice curses and ran my hand through my hair. Motherfucker. How does she keep figuring out this shit? I had my land wired, there was no possible way that she’d been on it without my knowledge, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t border my land to see all there was to see.

 

Two hours later, all four of us were tired, grumpy, and hungry. One single thing was found at the base of my gate. That was a picture of Payton walking Alpha in the courtyard of Free. We left with more questions than we came with. My ride home was spent with a tornado of emotions hurtling through my head.

 

My major concern, however, was how I was going to keep Payton safe. The woman was as pig-headed as one could be. She had to be independent, or she would feel like she was failing herself. She’s come so far since the attack, and I didn’t want to suppress her independence, but I also didn’t want her dead. Nothing on this planet would be able help O’Hare then. Payton was my life, and I didn’t know if I could survive without her; I knew I didn’t want to.

 

The bikes peeled off to their respective houses as we rounded the garage of Free. I pulled outside of ours and smiled when I saw Payton asleep on the porch swing with Alpha curled up beside her. She looked like a burrito wrapped up in her down comforter; nothing could be seen but her head.

 

The sound of our bikes roused her from her nap, and she smiled as I kicked the stand down and swung my leg over the bike.

 

“I’m freezing. Is there room for me?” I asked, only semi-seriously.

 

“Of course,” She said as she lifted the blanket up so I could slide underneath it. “Just don’t expect me to move.”

 

“Why are you home so early?” I asked.

 

“My boss sent me home. We were dead, and I was the only one there who already had overtime for the week. Cheyenne had to stay.” She snickered.

 

“What time do we have to be at your family reunion this weekend?” I asked curiously.

 

“Ummm, normally starts at eleven, but I get there early; help mom with lunch. Bingo starts around twelve, after everyone eats.” She said. “Which reminds me, we have to go get some ornaments. Two of them this year. We exchange Christmas ornaments every time we are able to have family reunion.”

 

I scowled at her. “Ornaments? Bingo?”

 

Honestly, Bingo wasn’t my type of thing. I’d played when I was younger, but it’s been well over fifteen years. Payton and her family had a family reunion, on her mom’s side, every year. I didn’t do so well with crowds, and wasn’t looking forward to it in the slightest. However, I’d do anything in the world for Payton, and if that meant I had to play fucking Bingo, then I would.

 

“How far is it to Clayton?” I asked.

 

“Only about an hour. Should be an easy drive. I normally ride with my parents or my grandparents. It’ll be interesting this year arriving separately.” She smiled.

 

She looked lost in thought, and I started to worry that something was going on, but she didn’t know how to tell me.

 

“What is it?” I finally broke down and asked.

 

She heaved out a sigh. “Benny Bear finds out soon about the DNA test. I’m as nervous as a whore in confession.”

 

I could understand how that would be bothering her, but that wasn’t the all of it. “What else?”

 

She hung her head, and my heartbeat picked up. “Payton.”

 

“I don’t feel safe anymore. All I ever do is watch over my shoulder when I’m driving home. When I get here, I freak out. That’s why I was outside. Just in case, so someone could hear me scream. I keep having nightmares about my attack. Then it morphs into the hospital and that bitch taking that baby. Except, she always holds up the bag and shoots the baby once the elevator door is about to close.” She whispered.

 

It was my turn to hang my head now. I was failing her. Here she was, scared to death, and I wasn’t doing a damn thing about it. Hell, I didn’t even notice it. She’d been outside when I got home every day for quite a few weeks now. I’d just thought she enjoyed the swing; yet, here she was telling me she was scared and didn’t want to be in the house by herself.

 

Sifting my fingers through her hair, I felt my control slip a fraction of a bit. I’d kept it in check over the last six months with sheer will. Every instinct I had was telling me to hunt her down like the bitch she was and kill her. Eliminate the threat. That was how I’d been taught in the Army. You have a threat; you neutralize it before it kills you. Those instincts that were long ago honed to a lethal edge were making themselves known. Begging to be released on the woman that was threatening our lives.

 

“Okay, I’ll fix this. I can put an alarm system in, and we can do the locks on the door, too. What else do you need to feel safe? We can get another dog. The team has had to call in a few favors for information, but O’Hare is a goddamned ghost. We’ve turned up absolutely nothing in the past five months.” I rambled.

 

Payton’s hands on my face stopped my tirade. “I know you’re doing everything you can, Max. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

 

I hauled her into my lap, and took her face into my hands. “Yes, you should have. Don’t keep stuff from me.”

 

“Tonight is dinner with my parents. Are you ready to go?” She asked.

 

“Yep. You?” I asked in return.

 

“I think so. I look like shit though. Nothing fits. All the maternity shirts swim on me, and all of my old shirts are too tight. At least my pants fit. My scrub tops won’t last much longer either. Not sure where to go from here.” She said as she stood.

 

She pushed her arms up above her head, stretching like a contented cat who just rose from a nice long sleep. Her shirt rode up to just above her belly button. I stifled my laughter, since I just heard her ranting about her clothes. Her sweat pants came to just under her belly, the bottoms pulled up to just above her calf exposing her socks. The socks were festive red and white stripes with white fur at the top. They came to just above her calf, right under the hem of her sweat pants.

 

“You look like a pregnant elf.” I said before I thought better of it.

 

She glared at me, and I held my hands up in surrender. She stomped off towards the front door; by the time I made it there, she was turning the corner to the hallway. Sighing at my stupidity, I waited by the front door. She came back moments later wearing one of my Army sweatshirts and a pair of ugly brown boots. They were the type of boots that you see all those young girls wear in the winter with short miniskirts. At least Payton was wearing clothes with hers.

 

“Ready?” I asked and we headed out the door.

 

“Slug bug red!” Payton squealed, and then followed it up with a punch to my right bicep.

 

“Jesus. Do you really want to start this game?” I asked teasingly, while rubbing my shoulder.

 

Payton frowned; I played up the sting she’d delivered, acting like my arm was about to fall off.

 

“You probably left a bruise.” I whined.

 

“Oh, please. That was a love tap.” She chided.

 

By the time we arrived at her parent’s house, I’d been punched in the arm over five times. I let her win though. I’d seen every one of the Volkswagens. I’d just chosen not to steal away her fun. Plus, if I’d punched her the way she’d punched me, she’d have a very sore arm in the morning.

 

“Jesus Christ.” Payton huffed after she worked the sweatshirt off her body and tossed it in the nearest chair. “Why’s it so damn hot in here?”

 

“Payton, it’s not hot in here. It’s probably because you’re resembling a whale these days. That blubber you’re carrying in your ass probably keeps you insulated pretty well.” Bennett drawled from his sprawl on the couch.

 

My hand covered my face, and I wondered what she’d do. When I didn’t hear any swearing or scuffling, I uncovered my face and looked around. Bennett was laying on the couch still, and Payton was giving him the evil eye. He ignored her, but started paying attention when she started walking towards him.

 

“Move over, asshole.” She snarled once she got close enough to sit.

 

“There is a recliner right over there. Don’t you have any clothes that fit?” He goaded.

 

The boy had a death wish. There was no other reason for his attitude. He had to have known that he was going to rile her with these comments. Yet, she didn’t react. She stayed perfectly calm for another whole minute, until she realized he wasn’t going to move. Then she turned around and promptly let her weight drop until it hit his face.

 

Muffled shouts from Bennett escaped from underneath Payton’s ass; then she did something that forever would be ingrained in my mind. She let out the loudest, most disgustingly nasty fart I have ever heard, before getting up and running into the kitchen. Bennett was gasping and gagging. I was so dumfounded that I could do nothing but stare in flabbergasted silence.

 

Never once had I heard a woman, beside my sister, fart in front of me. The whole time Payton and I’d been living together, she’d never once let one slip. Hell, most women tried to act as if they didn’t even have the necessary parts to perform that bodily function. Yet, here Payton was, farting on her brother’s face, and then running away like it was nothing. The woman was pure genius.

 

My stunned silence was replaced by deep belly laughs. The type that have tears running down your face, your lungs running out of air, and your sides hurting because you’re laughing so hard and long that your abs have no time to recover from the workout. Dismissing Bennett, I walked into the kitchen to see Payton snacking on Broccoli and cheese. Payton’s grandfather was at the table with her sharing the same

bowl.

 

Payton’s face was a deep reddish hue, and I was still gasping for air, trying to obtain composure, but it was a losing battle.

 

“T-that w-was a-awesome!” I gasped and laughed.

 

“What’d she do?” Tony asked, while talking to Payton’s grandmother.

 

“She farted in my mouth!” Bennett moaned from the other room. “I need CPR!”

 

“Payton!” Jessie said sharply.

 

“What?” She asked innocently.

 

“What have I told you about doing that? That’s disgusting and rude.” She chided.

 

“I can still taste it!” Bennett shrieked.

 

Tears returned, rolling down my cheeks as I laughed. I’d almost had it back under control until he’d said that last part.

 

“She’s always been a gassy one,” Tony exclaimed, as he set a pan of lasagna onto the kitchen table. “Bennett, quit your bitching and get in here. Dinner’s ready.”

 

Payton buried her face in her hands, and I threw my arm around her shoulders as I sat down next to her. Giving her a kiss on the forehead, we all dug in. Death threats withstanding, it was a nice dinner. It was also bittersweet. I wished like hell that my parents were here today. To meet their children’s loved ones, grandchildren, and the new family that was now joined to mine.

 

During the ride home, I kept a vigilant eye on the road, but my thoughts kept straying back to my parents. Payton’s family reminded me of what I didn’t have. What I would never have again. My children would never meet my parents. They’d never get to see them. My father didn’t get to walk his daughter down the aisle. He didn’t get to see Ember graduate from high school or college. They didn’t make it to my Ranger school graduation, and weren’t there when I was injured in Iraq. They weren’t there for the birth of their first grandchild.

 

I went through the nightly routine of making sure all the doors and windows were locked. I fed Alpha, set out my clothes for tomorrow, plugged my phone in, checked to make sure my gun was loaded and under my pillow, and I cleaned up. What I didn’t do was speak since we’d left her parents’ house, which must have seriously freaked her out because she burst after I’d been lying in bed.

 

“I’ll never do it again!” She cried and covered her face with the pillow.

 

I looked at her quizzically.

 

“Do what?” I asked her pillow.

 

“Be nasty. I wasn’t even thinking.” She mumbled into her pillow.

 

“Can we name the baby Thurston if it’s a boy?” I asked.

 

The pillow lowered from her face and she turned to look at me. “Thurston?”

 

“That was my father’s name.” I said quietly.

 

Her eyes dilated, and she scooted closer to me. “Will you tell me about them?”

 

My heart seized in my chest. I’ve avoided it for the past year now. She’d asked, and I changed the subject. She didn’t push because that wasn’t the type of person she was. She was patient and persistent when she needed to be. She waited for me to be ready; but, hell, I might never be.

 

Taking a deep breath, I told her about them.

 

“My mother’s name was Adeline. They were great parents. The type who let you do whatever you wanted, within reason. They didn’t care if James or I had a beer at the house. They took all of my friends in as if they were one of their own. When they died, it was my fault.”

 

She snorted in disbelief, and I closed my eyes.

 

“They were on the way home after seeing me graduate from boot camp. They’d spent two of their four-day vacation with my grandparents, and then came to see me. I was staying so I could start Ranger school; we knew it would be another sixty-one days before they would see me again, so they flew to where I was, and left the next day. I wasn’t slated to start the school for another week, but I’d asked them to go home so I could have some fun. It was the worst mistake of my life.”

 

“Oh, honey. That wasn’t your fault. You’d just gone through boot camp. You deserved to let loose; and, from what I understood, y’all were near Vegas. Who the heck wouldn’t have wanted to go play instead of hanging with their parents? Especially one that was about to start another school that would take every bit of your mental capacity to get through?” She said softly.

 

She didn’t touch me. She must have known I would never get it out if she touched me. Squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I replayed how the next few hours after their departure went.

 

“I was at a fucking strip club when one of the Army officers that helped train us came in. We started to give him shit for being there, but when the look on his face registered, we all fell silent. He walked right up to me, and tore my heart apart. While I was in a fucking strip club watching the girls dance on stage, my parents died in a plane crash.”

“Max, didn’t you just tell me they only had four days, and they’d already spent two with your grandparents and one with you? They would have had to leave eventually.” She said, trying to condone my actions.

 

“Yeah, but they weren’t going on that flight. I told them to leave. The boys were going to be leaving by eight, and I wanted to go with them. I practically shoved them out the door.”

 

I felt a drop hit my cheek and my eyes opened in a flash to see tears pouring down Payton’s face, running down her neck and disappearing behind the t-shirt she was wearing. She was leaning over me looking so mad that she could spit nails.

 

“This is not your fault!” She yelled.

 

“Well, whose is it if not mine?” I snapped.

 

“Obviously, it was no ones. It was a fluke of nature. Stop beating yourself up.” She demanded.

 

“You should have seen Ember when I told her. She was shattered. Utterly shattered. Then, I just left her. I went back to school and left Cheyenne and her mom to pick up the pieces.”

 

She couldn’t help herself any longer; she threw herself at me, and we both laid there silently. Payton gave up after an hour of me not speaking, and dropped off into a peaceful sleep. It was on the fourth hour of lying there that I felt the baby. Tiny little nudges tapped me in the stomach and euphoria surged through me.

 

We were lying face to face, her belly touching mine. Our legs wrapped together in a tangle. I continued to feel the tiny little taps. Leaning back, I let my hand slide down over her mounded belly. It fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. The tap, tap, tap continued, and I fell asleep feeling my wife’s steady breathing, and my child’s rhythmic kicking. It was a perfect pick me up to an awful day.