Chapter 1

The object of war is not to die for your country, but make the other bastard die for his.

-George S. Patton

 

Payton

6 months later

This was stupid. I was stupid. It was crazy. We loved to fight. Never once did he say something that I agreed with. The only thing we had was raw passion. We were both very attracted to each other. So much so that we burned with it. He would walk into the room, and I would instantly want him with a ferocity that was probably unhealthy.

 

We had that relationship where the little boy would push the little girl down on the playground, and then kick dirt on her. Then he’d tell the whole school that she smelled like poop. When we were around the others of our group, we’d fight like cats and dogs. In private was an entirely different matter. He was sweet and funny; we laughed, and he listened while I cried.

 

Ember sent me a text earlier tonight saying her brother was being recalled back into the military. She told me they were having a party for him as a going away sort of thing, but I declined. I didn’t think I could do it. That is, until about five until midnight when I gave up, and went anyway.

 

Which led me to now. I was at Max’s door. No one was at Ember’s besides those that belonged there. Max had gone home nearly an hour ago. I’d been standing here for over twenty minutes, trying to work the courage up to knock.

 

My phone jingled in my pocket, and I dug it out to look at it. It was from Max.

 

Max: Gonna be gone for a while. Give me a call if you need me. I’ll check my messages when I can.

 

Simple. Pure Max. He knew I’d worry if I couldn’t get a hold of him, and he didn’t want me to. Over the past six months, I’ve shared many nights on the phone with him. He talked me out of my night terrors numerous times.

 

There would be times I’d wake up and have him on the line without even realizing it. I’d wake up to him talking to me quietly, soothing my fears down. He’d stay on the phone with me for nearly an hour waiting for me to calm down enough to go back to sleep.

 

Before I had Max, I would lay awake for hours, until daylight kissed the sky, scared to get out of bed. I’d been on medication, but all it did was keep me in a dreaming state, reliving my personal nightmare over and over again, unable to wake up fully.

The past six months have been miraculous, and it was all because of Max. I was ready a month ago, but I was too scared to admit it. Now, he was leaving and he could very well not come back.

 

I was scared shitless.

 

Scrounging up the courage that was rapidly depleting, I knocked on the door. Heavy footsteps sounded behind the door, and I waited while the lock was turned, and the chain released. It felt like an eternity before the door opened.

 

Max was a beautiful specimen of a man. Tall and lean, muscles in all the right places. Not bulky, but definitely not scrawny either. He had dirty blonde hair cropped closely to his scalp. He had lean narrow hips that tapered up to a well-defined chest. His eyes were hazel, ones that changed with his moods, exactly like his sister’s. A scar ran along his chin down the left side of his jaw, and disappeared behind his ear.

 

His eyes lit when he saw me in the doorway, and a little piece of hope took root in my chest.

 

“Hey.” I said.

 

He regarded me for a few moments before stooping down and grabbing me up in a bear hug. His arms tightened around my back. My hands were trapped between us, and my face squeezed up into the crook of his chin. My feet dangled a good ten inches off the floor.

 

At four feet eleven and a half inches, it was standard procedure to encounter a person taller than me. Max, however, towered over me with his six foot one inches. His face buried in my neck, and I giggled at the ridiculousness of being held nearly a foot off the ground.

 

“What are you doing here? Did you have a nightmare? I’m so sorry; I didn’t realize my phone was dead until I got back in from the party.” Max rambled with his head still buried in my neck.

 

Was it just me, or did he sound nervous?

 

His voice sent shivers down my spine. He had such a low, deep voice. He could easily compete with that country singer, Josh Turner, who could kill a low note. Such a rich, deep voice was made for seducing women. All he had to do was say my name, and I was gone. During our many late night conversations, I would calm just by listening to the deep cadence of his voice, droning on and on about nothing consequential.

 

He seemed concerned that he might have missed my call.

 

My heart swelled.

 

“You didn’t miss my call. I’ve been outside for twenty minutes trying to work up the courage to come knock on the door. Ember told me you’re leaving. I didn’t want you to leave and not hear from me before you left.”

 

He set me down on my feet and searched my eyes, looking for something. “That’s all you wanted?”

 

Heat crept up my neck, and Max laughed when he saw the blush.

 

“Are you trying to tell me you finally want me, and I have to leave the damn country in the morning?” He asked gruffly.

 

My mouth opened and closed like a fish. My face felt like it was on fire, and I didn’t know what to say. I mean, yes, on one hand, I wanted him as I wanted my next breath. On the other hand, however, I was scared shitless that he was going to leave and never come back.

 

“Yes and no.” I finally got out.

 

He raised a brow in question, so I continued.

 

“I want you more than I want my next breath.” I squeezed out.

 

“Baby, you can have me. I only have one night, but you can bet the cookie stash in your nightstand drawer that when I get back, I’ll be in your bed. If we do this, your mine. Don’t mistake this as some one-night kind of thing. You will be mine.”

 

I was left speechless. I mean, sure, he did say he wanted me before he found out about my attack. When I’d told him some of the details, he’d backed off, and I took that to mean that he was no longer interested. He answered my calls in the night, and I leaned more towards thinking that he felt sorry for me, rather than wanting me.

 

Guess I was wrong.

 

“I’m a hot mess, Max.” I said to him.

 

He gave a throaty laugh. “Honey, we’re all hot messes. Some more than others. You and I are probably neck in neck in the screwed up race.”

 

“You’re not screwed up. Now, we’re wasting all of our time. Take me to bed, or lose me forever.” I giggled.

 

Max didn’t. “Show me the way home, honey.”

With that, he bent low at the waist, and I was up and over his shoulder. Each step bounced me up and down, and I had a nice view of his perfectly tight ass. My hands itched to grab and squeeze, but I wasn’t the type of person who would initiate anything.

 

My way of doing things was by playing everything off; I hid behind my sarcastic sense of humor. Just like earlier with my Top Gun reference, I made light of something, when, in reality, I wanted to jump his bones like there was no tomorrow.

 

Looking around, I admired his sense of style. The living room was homey and comfortable. Although they were a bland white, photos hung on the walls. Most likely thanks to his sister, who seemed to have a camera attached to her ass at all times. There was a large sectional that took up three quarters of the room, and it looked so very comfortable.

 

He took me down a long hallway, and I made note to come back and look at the family portrait tomorrow morning, before I left. Walking at a fast clip, we wound up in his bedroom, and I found myself flying through the air, slamming into a bed that felt like clouds.

 

“Oh, Lord have mercy. You have one comfortable bed. I could totally sleep in this thing forever. I bet crumbs wouldn’t ruin this experience.” I said, while moving my arms and legs in and out, making an imaginary snow angel.

 

“You can have the bed if you like it that much.” Max said, while ridding himself of his shirt.

 

“I’ll just sleep here since you won’t be here to use it anyway.” I said absently.

 

“That would be okay if you wanted to do that. I don’t mind in the least. It also might help your nightmares.” He said casually.

 

He did care, though; so much that he was trying to offer me his place where he knew it was safer, without offending my sense of independence. Everything in me screamed to take him up on the offer, but I knew if I did, that I would never want to leave. He’d get tired of me being here, eventually, and I didn’t want to set myself up for failure.

 

Hoping to divert his attention, I ran my eyes up and down his bared torso. “You’re gorgeous.”

 

He was, too. His chest was well defined. The majority of his chest was unblemished and beautiful. There was a small portion of his upper right chest and arm that had some scarring, but from this angle, I didn’t know if it continued to his back or not. From what I could tell, it wasn’t too bad. Just a few puckered scars that looked like maybe some shrapnel got ahold of him. He could have been much worse; my hours of volunteering at the local VA hospital showed me that.

 

I was incredibly shy, and put on a good front with my wit and humor; but all of that humor deserted me at the moment. I longed to run my hands over him, but I stayed still, hoping that he would see that I needed him to take charge. He did. The man never missed a damn thing. He knew things about me that even I wasn’t aware of until he brought them to my attention.

 

His arms went to the waistband of my pants, and unzipped them slowly. My breath stalled in my chest, and I started panicking. Max noticed everything, though, and stopped before he divested me of my jeans.

 

“You okay?” He asked.

 

How the heck do I tell him this? “Yes. It’s been a while, and, um, well, Rorysaidiwasacoldfish.”

 

Spreading my legs wide, he kneeled down between them regarding me warmly. “I got Rory. The rest you said too fast. Say it slower, Payton.”

 

Taking a deep breath, I said, “Rory said I was a bad lay. That I didn’t participate, and I needed to lighten up. I….I want it. I do. But I don’t know how to say it in the heat of things.”

 

“You listen to me,” he said leaning closer. “This Rory shit isn’t a man. A man wouldn’t leave his girl in the fucking street with two men attacking her. That hiis woman doesn’t enjoy sex with him says something about the man, not the woman. It’s the man’s job to figure out what the woman likes, what will bring out the wild in her. Let me let you in on a little secret; I can make you wild. Don’t doubt it.”

 

My mouth went dry, and I had nothing to say to that. Instead, I lifted my hips off the bed so he could take my pants off more easily. He took the invitation for what it was, and took off my jeans. My panties were exposed, and suddenly I felt immensely embarrassed. If I had known I was going to be doing this today, I wouldn’t have worn these.

 

Studying my panties with a smile he said, “Angry Birds, eh? Are these boy’s underwear?”

 

My face went up in flames. Taking the pillow on the bed next to my head, I buried my face into it. “Oh, my God. Ohmygodohmygod!”

 

“It’s cute. I didn’t realize grown women could wear boy’s underwear; but, strangely, you wear them well. I don’t think I’ll look at an Angry Bird the same way again.” Max chuckled.

 

Throwing the pillow off my face, I scowled at him with the fierceness of a rabid badger.

“You don’t know how freaking hard it is to find things in my size. I’m so freaking small that everything fits weird. Panties from the women’s department, even thongs, fit like granny panties. So I shop in the boys section for socks and underwear.”

 

He watched me with his sparkling eyes, and then burst out laughing. “You just made me a happy man. Can I have a picture of you in these before I leave?”

 

The mention of him leaving brought me out of my embarrassment. Now I just felt sadness. I wished I’d taken him up on that relationship offer months ago. Now he was leaving, and who knew when I would see him again. Reaching up, I ran my hand down over his scratchy haired jaw. He was such a beautiful man.

 

“Take me.” I whispered, while looking deep into his eyes.

 

“I’ve never wanted to do anything more in my life.” He said, and then kissed me senseless.

 

His tongue worked over mine, plunging and tangling, sucking my bottom lip, and then nipping it softly. He shifted, and then I was shirtless. I bit my lip. I wasn’t self-conscious about my body; or, I wasn’t until Max started running his eyes over my body.

 

My body reminded me of most fourteen year olds. Short, no boobs, and absolutely no curves. I worked out from time to time, so I was in fairly decent shape, but you can’t fix something you don’t have. I was a soccer player in high school, and still enjoyed the odd game here and there when I had time.

 

He growled in frustration. I was wearing a camisole underneath my shirt, just as I normally did.

 

I’m a very clumsy person, in the morning I start out with a clean shirt. By one, I’ve spilled something on my shirt at least once. Most likely it has to do with my lunch, but at least three out of seven days, it requires me to change my shirt at work, or risk everyone and their brother ogling my stain. Therefore, I got smart and always wore a camisole instead of a bra, because, honestly, I didn’t need one anyway.

“You’re beautiful. Stop worrying.” He said, before running his finger over my lip to stop me from biting it.

 

His eyes zeroed in on the tattoo that peaked out at the bottom of my camisole. I held my breath in anticipation. What would he think of it? I got it on a whim. It was my eighteenth birthday, and I felt the need to do something that would piss my parents off. Earlier that day they’d grounded me for sneaking out the night before. For that reason, I snuck out again and got a tattoo that I knew they would hate.

 

His large, rough palmed hand ran up my left side, slowly lifting my shirt as he skimmed it up my body. He froze when he saw it. Then bellowed with laughter. I scowled at him, and then cracked a smile myself. It was a weird tattoo, but I loved it.

On my hip, I sported a six-shooter. It spanned from just above my hipbone, down to the top of my bikini line on my thigh. It was actually quite beautiful with its elegant scrollwork on the shiny metal. It looked like an old west type of gun, and I was damn lucky I’d gone to a reputable tattoo artist, instead of one that would have made it look like shit.

 

His laughing stopped, and, finally, he said, “This is the best tattoo I’ve ever seen.”

 

I smiled. I was happy he liked it. “It sticks out the top of my jeans, too. So, when I’m wearing pants, it looks like I have a gun in the waistband. At eighteen, it was the best ‘fuck you’ I could give to my parents. Or at least all I could think of at the time.”

 

His other hand went up the other side of my shirt, and he ran his hands up until he encountered the shelf bra section of the camisole. Stopping for a moment, he closed his eyes, and then lifted the shirt up and over my breasts. They popped free of their enclosure, and bounced until settling. My nipples beaded at the feeling of cold air hitting them, and my mouth watered as I watched Max study them with a fierce concentration.

 

Lowering his head, he gave one nipple a slow light lick, flicking it lightly with the tip of his tongue. Then he switched to the other breast. My nipples were harder than ever, and I moaned, wanting him to suck them into his mouth. Not that I said that though. I arched a tiny bit, and then let my back fall back to the bed.

 

“More?” Max asked.

 

“Yes.” I hissed.

 

He gave a devilish smile, before lifting the shirt the rest of the way off my body. There I lay, naked, except for my Angry Bird underwear, and he was still mostly clothed. His pants, belt, socks, and shoes were still covering the lower half of his body. I eyed them, wishing he would take them off so I could see his body.

 

“You want me naked?” He asked aware of my silent need.

 

I nodded my head; his hands went behind his back. When his hand emerged again, he placed a big black behemoth of a pistol on the nightstand beside the bed, and then went to work on his belt and buttons. He leaned down once they were loosened, and unlaced his big black boots, toeing them off one by one.

 

He shucked his pants down, and my pupils dilated at the most beautiful man I have ever seen. Jesus. His abs weren’t the tightly ridged ones as you see on all the male models. His were most definitely defined; yet, they weren’t eye-poppingly obvious. On the other hand, the V that pointed to the groin area could make tears come to your eyes.

 

He had a tattoo that looked like the remains of a tattered flag that curled around his hip. Next to that tattoo, just a few short inches away, was the biggest penis I’d ever seen. I gulped dramatically when the size finally processed through my brain. It was large and thick, curved slightly to the right.

 

Max started laughing when he heard my audible gulp. “It’ll be okay, honey. It’s not that big.”

 

“If you say so, Max. Just don’t rip me a new one.” I squeaked.

 

He laughed. “You know, it’s probably only average size. I’ve never had any complaints before.”

 

“I don’t want to hear about your other conquests.” I growled.

 

“Yes, ma’am.” He said, right before he ripped the panties from my body, bent down, and circled my clit with his tongue.

 

“Eeek.” I squealed and then arched off the bed in shock.

 

Rory had never done this before; it was a surprise to realize that it actually tickled a little bit. His bristled jaw ran over the inside of my thighs, and I couldn’t help it. I giggled.

 

I stopped, though, when his finger entered me in one penetrating thrust. No teasing for Max. Just one slow, smooth glide. Crooking his finger, he dragged it along the upper side of my vagina, searching for my g-spot. Not that I knew where it was, because Rory damn sure didn’t try to find it before.

 

I’d only had wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am’s. Never anything that could even compare to this. With each flick of his tongue, he would pull his finger out, rubbing against a spot inside me that would send lightening striking through my veins.

 

A slow, smooth burn was making me move restlessly against Max’s face. Grabbing a hold of his ears, I yanked him closer to me. “Oh, God.”

 

He chuckled, and it set off a vibration through my clit. An explosive orgasm tore through me, and I moaned like a porn star, eyes squeezed tight, and ground myself into his face even harder.

 

It took me a while, but I came back to myself as Max was giving me a few long languid licks, and then crawled up my body, settling his hips between mine. His cock found a home in between the lips of my sex, and he moved slowly back and forth. Each pass of his cock ran his length along my clit, and set off tiny aftershocks throughout my lower half.

 

“Are you ready?” He asked while looking into my eyes.

 

I nodded in answer, and gritted my teeth, just in case it hurt a little more than he thought it would. But it didn’t. He withdrew a tiny bit. Just enough that he could grab his cock at the base, and guide it to the entrance of my vagina. Pausing, he watched my eyes, and then proceeded to fill me.

 

“Jesus Christ, you’re tight.” He gritted out through clenched teeth.

 

I was panting at the fullness. It felt magnificent. Experimentally, I rocked my hips forward and back, and then gave him a few squeezes with my inner muscles. His eyes shut tight, and he stilled completely, waiting for some control.

 

Suddenly, his eyes snapped open, snaring my gaze with his. Then he pulled back hard, and slammed back into me. He must have lost the fight for control. He didn’t hurt me though; he was forceful, yet gentle. Over and over again, he would pull out nearly completely, and then slam back inside of me. Each thrust bounced me on the bed, getting me closer and closer to the headboard.

 

Putting my hand up, I stiffened my arm to prevent my head from slamming into the headboard and getting a concussion. Each thrust of his hips rocked me down to my soul, and I couldn’t help but lift my hips in tandem with his.

 

“I need you to come. I’m about to lose it here.” He growled.

 

His eyes stayed connected with mine.

 

I looked away from his eyes, overwhelmed with the amount of emotion in his. Instead of looking at him, I looked down at the connection of our bodies. I watched as his cock pulled out of me, glistening in my juices, and then disappeared again inside of me. That was really did it for me, because an orgasm overwhelmed me in the next second; I held my breath and locked my teeth to keep the scream of pleasure inside.

 

“Fuck.” I heard Max rumble.

 

Oh so slowly, my eyelids parted, and what I saw shocked me to the core. Max’s green eyes blazed. I saw hunger, need, and something I wasn’t ready to acknowledge yet.

 

“You fit.” I said lamely.

 

“Sho’ did.” He chuckled.

 

I loved his sense of humor. I could do nearly anything in front of him, and he wouldn’t be grossed out or disgusted. Sure, if we were in front of the others, he would rib me hard, but, in private, he’d join in on the fun, making even dirtier comments than I’d made originally. I was truly in love with this man. It was rare to find someone that enjoyed your craziness. That didn’t mind if you went to bed wearing boys Angry Bird underwear. Or if you turned your socks inside out because the outside was softer than the inside.

 

“What are you thinking about? You’re eyes are going crazy.” Max murmured, still poised above me.

 

“Are you saying I have crazy eyes?” I asked slowly.

 

“Is that what I said? No, I said your eyes are going crazy. Crazy eyes implies that you’re fucking nuts. What I meant was that your pupils dilated, and they were darting around the room like you were looking for a means of escape. Don’t put words in my mouth.” He calmly said.

 

I pushed at his chest. He didn’t budge an inch. “Get off, you big bastard.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere. We have three hours before I have to leave. You bet your sweet ass that I’m going to ride you hard before I have to go.” He said, before solidifying that fact by withdrawing and then thrusting forward again.

 

The next two and a half hours were spent doing exactly that.

 

***

Max

“I gotta get dressed.” I whispered against her hair.

 

My lips trailed down the side of her face, then down along the line of her jaw before settling softly onto her lips. I bent forward to run my nose along her cheek and it came back wet. My heart hurt.

 

Leaning back on the balls of my feet, I dragged her up to a sitting position and framed her face in my hands. “It’s going to be alright. I’m going to be fine. Don’t worry.”

 

“You better come back here in one damn piece, or I’ll kick your ass.” She said, all bark and no bite.

 

I chuckled. The girl had the temperament of a pit bull. All snarling and bark. She’d rip you a new one, and then comfort you afterwards. That’s what I loved most about her. Not that I would tell her … yet. I’d just gotten her to come to me. I’d be damned if I would scare her off before I got her firmly in place.

 

“I’d love to see you try.”

 

Giving her one more kiss on the lips, I got out of bed and started dressing. It’d been a long while since I’d worn these shabby BDUs. They felt like coming home. I’d lived in them for ten years, then stopped wearing them when I was injured a few years ago. Putting them on now felt like finding the security blanket you’d used when you were a child.

 

Payton watched, silently, from the bed. She was wearing one of my old workout shirts. It had the Pepsi logo on it, and was about as worn as a ratty t-shirt could be. It was by far my favorite to wear, and I’d been doing just that when I answered the door tonight. The shirt hung off one shoulder, and bared smooth unblemished skin. Her hair fell in disarray all around her. Shocks of pink and lime green dispersed throughout her brown hair that I hadn’t noticed earlier during my inspection.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay here?” I asked.

 

She nodded, but stayed silent.

 

Stubborn little shit. “I’ll give you a key, and the code to the gate. I’ll call you as soon as I get there so you know that I got there all right. I’ll try to let you know what’s going on, and how long we’re looking at me being gone. Don’t freak if you don’t hear from me for a long time. That’s normal.”

 

It was especially normal for me, since I wasn’t going to be doing the normal stuff that a soldier does over there. I was going to do what I do best: interrogate.

 

When Layne, my old CO, called the previous night, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. They only used me when it was dire. The government didn’t like using my services if they didn’t have to. Unfortunately, I started using them a lot towards the end of my career; now I was back, doing what I was good at, with little thought to my own peace of mind. I hated every fucking minute of it. I didn’t like myself when I had to be that person.

 

She nodded, and then stood, stooping down to grab her jeans. She made her way into the bathroom, and shut the door. I watched the door, silently wondering if I should go in there and make sure she’s all right. I didn’t though, deciding she needed a few minutes.

 

I gathered the rest of my junk, grabbed my duffle, and set it by the front door. Walking to the back door, I made sure it was locked before turning the A/C off. I’d taken care of the food in my fridge before the party tonight by stuffing it all into the communal fridge in the shop. I got a good laugh out of the fact that my beer would most likely still be there when I got back.

 

The others didn’t like Old Milwaukee. I loved it though, mostly because I’d grown up drinking the shit as if it was water. James and I had many great times that were all because of Old Milwaukee. James had graduated to bigger and better, while I stuck with what I knew. Which is why I was ribbed for drinking it. They called it a “pussy” beer, and said only women drink it. Fuck, I didn’t care, as long as it was wet and cold. I didn’t need the expensive stuff to be happy.

 

“Max?” Payton asked from behind me.

 

I blinked, and saw her standing in the light of the hallway. “Yeah?”

 

“Are you ready?” She asked.

 

I gave a stiff nod, and walked up to her, wrapping my arms around her. “Will you give me a ride? I was going to wake Ember, but since you’re already awake this works out better.”

 

“Sure thing. Let’s go.” She said.

 

We walked, hand and hand, out into the cool night air. The sound of leaves tumbling on the ground could be heard over the chirp of crickets in the pre-dawn stillness. It was just shy of four in the morning, and nothing was awake to break the tranquility of the night. I came to a sudden halt when I found myself being blocked in by five bodies. My team.

 

Curious glances were being made in Payton’s direction, but I didn’t acknowledge their silent questions. Every time they’d seen us together, Payton’s attitude came out to play. She was hell on wheels in public, but sweet and docile while we were alone. Kind of like a baby kitten, spitting mad one second, and purring in your lap the next.

 

“Thought you could sneak off, didn’t you?” James asked.

 

I smiled, and gave each of them a shake and clap on the back. Yeah, right. I knew they would be here, no matter what. They didn’t like that I was being called back, and they were none too happy that I would have no one to watch out for me. We’re all a team.

 

“You’ll call us as soon as you know something.” Sam informed.

 

That was our Captain. He looked out for us, even when he wasn’t in charge anymore.

 

“Sure thing, Cap. Y’all will watch over Bubbles here, won’t you?” I asked, while hooking Payton around the neck with the crook of my arm, pulling her into my side.

 

“Bubbles?” Elliott asked with a cheeky grin.

 

“Well, I discovered tonight that she wears these Angry- oof.” I groaned as a pointy little elbow jammed its way into my sternum.

 

“Isn’t Bubbles what Janie calls that blue Angry Bird?” James asked questioningly.

 

“Sure is.” I grinned.

 

Payton gave me her best shut-up-before-I-rip-your-balls-off look, and I snapped my mouth shut without saying anything that would put my future kids in any danger.

 

“I’ve got to get to the airport. Watch over my sister. Keep an eye on Bubbles.” I said, giving each man a handshake, before leading Payton to her car. A thought suddenly entered my mind, and I felt like a complete dumbass that I was about to leave without the most important piece of my life.

 

Turning, I ran back into the house. Inside my closet was my trusty M-4. I’d cleaned it and kept it honed over this last year, even though I didn’t use it the same as I used to; although that was about to change. Thinking ahead, I grabbed four magazines, and headed back out the front door. Payton was standing in front of the boys; all of them watching her curiously, listening to her talk about her brother’s latest football game.

 

“He scored twice! He’s got recruiters from A&M and UT coming to watch his game on Friday. He hasn’t told them he’s going into the Navy, though.” She chattered excitedly.

 

“Navy?” Elliott spat outraged.

 

The boys echoed his oath, and hooahed. I joined in from my position behind them. The boys remained passive, while Payton jumped a foot, and ducked her body into a ball at the ground before realizing what she’d done. My heart sank. Six months we’d been at this, trying to overcome the fear, and it didn’t look like she’d made any progress at all.

 

Knowing that the way to handle this was to play it down, I said, “Let’s go, Bubbles. Unless you want me to miss my plane and be court martialed. Then tell everyone about your Angry Bird underwear in retaliation.”

 

Chuckles filled the night, and I held out my hands to her, raising from her crouch in a flurry. I’d pissed her off, which was good since I didn’t want her thinking about anything that had to do with her attack.

 

Payton dropped the keys into my hand before walking to the passenger side. Payton drove a sweet little Mazda R-6; it looked cute and spunky, which fit her personality perfectly. I dropped my bag into the trunk, and slammed it down. Payton was already in the passenger seat, and I pressed the button on the side of the seat, moving the seat back as far as it could go before I got inside the car.

 

I’d learned my lesson already. Short people sit about two inches from the steering wheel. I’d tried to drop in once, as I would do in a normal car, and only once. I promptly knocked my chin on the steering wheel and banged my knees on the dash.

 

“It’s only at the Gregg County Airport. I’m catching a flight with a troop who is shipping out on a C-130. You can be back in bed by six if you hustle.” I said as I pulled out into the deserted street.

 

“I’ll stay with you until your flight leaves.” Payton whispered.

 

I hated that she was so upset. It might not have been the best idea to sleep with her before I went off to places unknown. If I had a caring bone in my body, I would’ve never even started this, but I’m a selfish bastard. I wanted her. I had her. I was keeping her. Simple as that.

 

The ride to the airport was a silent one. If I was honest with myself, I didn’t want to say anything that would make her cry any harder than what she was already silently doing. She was trying to keep it concealed, but I grew up with a little sister who cried all the damn time. I knew what crying looked like, let alone sounded like.

 

I reached over and held her hand for the entire trip. A few sniffles escaped here and there, but other than that, she was strong and didn’t try to make me feel bad about leaving her like some of the men I’d known had had done to them. When you leave, having a hysterical woman on your hands doesn’t make it any easier. Going away to war doesn’t sit well with any man; we need our women to be strong, to be the one person we can lean on when we need someone to support us.

 

The mammoth C-130 dominated the runway as we walked up to the gates. There were women saying their final goodbyes to their men, children weeping as they waved their mom’s or dad’s goodbye, as well as parents giving their babies one last hug before they sent them off to war. If you’ve never been to a deployment send-off, it’s a chilling sight to witness.

 

Realistically, you know that at least one of these boys won’t make it home again. Will it be the one kissing his very pregnant wife? Or will it be the one being hugged by his dad? It could be the one that left his girlfriend in tears. One just prayed. All you could do was have hope.

 

The send-offs are sad, almost like a pall hangs over the room. I’ve been through two deployments in my lifetime. This will be the first time I’ll be leaving a woman I loved waiting for me to come home. This time I’m leaving so much more. My sister. My brothers, the men who watched my back, and kept me safe and breathing. My niece and nephew. Payton.

 

That’s what was so hard. I had so much to love, and leaving them behind, knowing I wouldn’t see them for an undetermined amount of time, made something deep in my chest ache.

 

A shout disrupted the quiet, and the soldiers responded instantly. Some disentangled themselves from their crying children. Others walked sedately to the plane; no one there to see him or her off. Some gave one final kiss to their wives and girlfriends. We watched as the men lined up in perfect unison just outside the ramp that led to the back of the plane. The families watched on with pride, sadness, and love in their eyes.

 

One by one, the soldiers made their way to the plane. The massive C-130’s engines roared to life, and there was nothing left to hear but the beautiful sound of that monster running. It would be responsible for taking these men and women into a battle zone. It would also bring them home, dead or alive, and that was what had everyone worried.

 

I heard Payton’s breath hitch beside me, and I turned and watched her struggle to hold it together. She looked scared to death, and I hoped everything worked out; that I would come back to her. It broke my heart seeing her fight this battle. She’s gone through so much this past year, and she was about to lose the only lifeline that was able to help her battle the nightmares.

 

I gathered her up in my arms and gave her one last thorough kiss. Her body melted against me, and I longed to take her back home and use her for hours, until both of us had no strength left to move. Regrettably, duty called.

 

“If you need me, all you have to do is call. Same number. If I can’t answer, I’ll call you back as soon as I can. Make sure you call me; I’ll know if you need me. If I don’t answer, call James, and even Sam, Gabe, Jack, or Elliott. They’ll be there for you just as I would.” I told her before kissing her one last time.

 

She nodded, but kept silent as she watched me toss the duffle over my shoulder. The rifle still in my right hand, I looked into her eyes to gauge her control. Her chin was set at a stubborn angle; her hair was in a crazy disarray around her head. She was still wearing my Pepsi shirt, but had on her jeans and the ugly ass yellow Crocs she always wore. There were no tears, which I was grateful for since crying women gave me hives.

 

A sudden commotion at the gate of the airport made me lift my eyes from Payton’s ugly shoes. What I saw made me want to groan and curse. Ember’s ugly piece of shit car was barreling down the side road that ran up to the parking lot of the airport. Tires screeched as she came to a halt in the fire lane, and practically fell out of the car, running to me. She looked like she just ran out of the house in what she was wearing, which was a threadbare tank top and tight shorts that showed off way too much skin.

 

“Jesus Christ, Ember. Don’t you wear any fucking clothes?” I ground out once she reached me.

 

“Don’t you curse at me, asshole. Why would you just leave like that! I was supposed to take you. I wanted to see you before you went!” She screeched, but immediately started tearing up, but refused to let the tears spill over.

 

My heart dropped when I finally figured out why she was so upset. The last time I’d had an accident, and she’d gotten a call in the middle of the night saying that I was in Germany. Nothing was released other than that, and it scared the crap out of her. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, myself, but she was a girl. Girls did weird shit all the time and I never understood why.

 

“I’m sorry, Emmie. Come give me a hug before I go. Be quick about it, they’ve already loaded everything and everyone. Now, they’re just waiting on me.” I said, then braced myself when I saw her take a running jump at me.

 

The hand with my duffle in it went around her back, and the one with my M-4 went to my side so I didn’t hurt her. “I love you, Emmie.”

 

“I love you, too. You big shit head.” Ember said from the crook of my neck.

 

“Take care of Payton for me. She’s going to be your sister-in-law as soon as I get back.” I whispered.

 

“Does she know that?” Ember wheezed.

 

“Not yet. Keep her out of trouble. Go hide that death scooter for me. I love you, booger.” I said, before kissing her on the cheek and stepping away from her.

 

Payton and Ember watched as I walked purposefully towards the plane. I could feel their stares on the back of my body, but I didn’t turn around.

 

“Stay out of trouble, Bubbles!” I yelled, right before stepping onto the ramp that led into the belly of the plane.