Chapter 13: Jenny

I’m sitting at my desk and I’m trying to finalize all the articles for the next publication. I feel really satisfied with what we’ve put together and Stacy has done sterling work with her promotions and advertising. Not only have we added another four hundred paid subscribers, but Stacy has also hooked some really big names in the form of large companies that are now advertising in my magazine.

It finally gets to the point where I’m reasonably happy with the layout of the new magazine, so I walk over to Stacy’s office and ask her if she doesn’t feel like taking a tea break.

“Now you’re talking,” Stacy says excitedly, “I’ve been working my ass off all morning and I forgotten what tea tastes like.”

We walk over to the kitchen area and make a large pot of steaming tea. I take some honey out of the cupboard to put in mine. I definitely need a little bit of a sugar rush to replenish my energy and put three teaspoons full of honey in my cup. Then we walk over to the board room and sit down to have a satisfying break.

“I’m really thrilled with the way things are going and if we keep up the pace we will soon be making enough money to get larger offices,” I say and Stacy nods her head excitedly.

“I totally agree! I’m already speaking to another large company and they are interested in coming on board to start a series of ads in our next issue.”

“That sounds terrific, have you heard of that large restaurant chain yet? I think you mentioned that they are also interested in advertising in the next issue?” I ask.

“Not yet, I think I will give their regional director a call later and hear what’s going on with their promotion,” Stacy says and I love the way it feels as if we’re running a really tight ship. The magazine is going from strength to strength and this is even better than I’d ever imagined it in my wildest dreams. We spend another thirty minutes sitting there, discussing future issues of our magazine and then it’s time to get back to work. I go back to my office and Stacy returns to her own. I open up my laptop and carry on reviewing all of the articles. By the end of the day I have to give the final approval for everything to go online and I still have some things to finalize before I get to that point.

I hear someone knocking on my office door and I don’t even look up.

“If you brought me any photographs or new articles just please put it on a flash drive and leave it on my desk,” I say without lifting my head.

“Is that any way to speak to a guy who took part in a gang bang with you?” Someone asks in a rough, deep voice and when I look up there someone standing there who looks vaguely familiar. He’s got a big moustache and massive forearms which look like tree stumps. He’s wearing a bandana around his head and it takes me a while before I recognize him. Yes, he’s definitely one of the guys who took part in the gang bang with Brad and his friends at the virgin auction!

“Who the hell told you that you could just walk into my office like that?” I say and feel the anger welling up inside me.

“Well, I was expecting something slightly friendlier from you… After all, I’ve seen Brad visiting you here during office hours and you always treat him with more respect,” the guy says with an evil grin around his mouth corners. Now I feel really upset.

“Have you been stalking me? I think I’ll give Brad a call right away and tell him that one of his so-called friends is harassing me at my office!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that. Brad is the one who told me to come over here if I wanted to have some fun,” the revolting man says and I suddenly feel as if someone has knocked me against my forehead with a sledgehammer. Have I been misjudging this entire situation? What if Brad really has only been using me for sex and bragging to his friends about it? Perhaps his loving demeanor is all just an act and I could be the laughing stock of him and his entire motorcycle club while I’m thinking that this is a real love relationship!

“I really suggest that you leave now before I call the cops!” I say and stand there shaking all over.

“Look honey, I just came here to tell you one thing and I suggest you listen very closely. You are nothing more than a whore and a sex object to Brad and I suggest you stop spending so much time with him. Me and his other brothers at the motorcycle club do not appreciate the fact that you are keeping him away from us and our road trips!”

I try to think of something to say but I’m too shocked and insulted to come up with any reply.

“That’s all for now… think carefully about what I said and if I were you I would just forget about this whole thing with Brad!” he says and turns around and leaves before I can say anything else.

I stand there shaking and suddenly feel the tears running over my cheeks. I don’t think I’ve ever been so insulted in my life and, on top of that, I also feel incredibly afraid all of a sudden. What the hell have I got myself into? Perhaps Brad and the rest of his friends are actually dangerous and who knows if some other members of his motorcycle club may also have been stalking me all of this time? I sit down at my desk and burst out in tears.

“What’s wrong?!” Stacy exclaims and when I look up she’s standing there in the door.

“Someone just came in here and told me that Brad is putting on an incredible act… That he doesn’t really care about me and that he’s just using me for sex!” I exclaim and Stacy rushes over to my side. She kneels down and puts her arms around me.

“I saw some guy leaving as I was walking over to your office and I must say he looked vulgar and revolting!” Stacy says.

“You can say that again,” I say through my tears, “he said the most horrible things to me and I suddenly feel like I need to just get away from here!”

Stacy stays there with me and when I finally calm down she tries to tell me that it’s probably just some crazy guy and that I should forget about the whole thing.

“I suggest you give Brad a call and tell him about the whole thing… I’m sure he will come over here right away and straighten things out,” Stacy suggests.

“No, I don’t feel like talking to him right now… I really think I need to take some time off and just get away from this whole situation so I can think clearly. I’ve been on this emotional roller coaster ride with Brad for too long and perhaps it’s time I got off for a while so I can regain full control of my life!”

“Okay, I understand what you’re saying. Why don’t you take a road trip or something and just spend some time doing a couple of articles for next month’s issue? I will make sure that everything is finalized for this month’s edition and you can rest assured that the office will run smoothly while you’re away,” Stacy suggests and I get the feeling that it’s a good idea to do as she says.

“Okay, I really appreciate your help… I don’t know what I would’ve done without the wonderful friend like you in this situation,” I say, “if anyone comes looking for me just tell them I’m away on a road trip and that I’ll be back in a week or so… or perhaps in two weeks’ time.” I know that Stacy understands that this is the message she should also give to Brad, so I don’t elaborate.

I say goodbye to my best friend and pack some stuff into my laptop bag before walking outside and getting in my car. I drive back to my apartment and get into the elevator with shaky legs. When I finally shut the door of my apartment behind me I lean back against it and just close my eyes to try and regain my composure.

A million thoughts flash through my brain at the same time and I wonder if I’ve lost my mind… How the hell could I think that a loving relationship was possible with the person who’d taken part in a gang bang with me and ten more of his biker friends? I open my eyes and look at my apartment… In my mind’s eye I see all of the places where Brad and I have had sex. The kitchen table; the couch; the corridor leading to the bathroom. Every corner of my apartment reminds me of him and the times we’ve spent together here.

I suddenly feel like I just need to get out, so I rush over to my bedroom and hurriedly pack a bag with some clothes and personal belongings. I take one last furtive look around and then rush back downstairs. I put the bag in the trunk of my car and get in behind the steering wheel. I turn the key in the ignition and drive away without having any clear idea of where I’m going. All I need to do is get away… as far away as possible from Los Angeles for a while.

I suddenly realize that I’ve left my cell phone on the table next to my bed and, just for a moment, I feel like turning around to go and fetch it. But then I realize that it’s probably a blessing in disguise that I don’t have my phone with me. I certainly don’t want to speak to Brad for a while and if I need to discuss something with Stacy I can call her from a payphone or something. I decide not to turn back for my cell phone and just look straight ahead at the road in front of me. I’m already out of Los Angeles and, even though my heart is breaking inside, I feel like I’m doing the right thing, so I just keep driving.

I finally get to a small town near Pasadena, a couple of hours’ drive out of Los Angeles and decide to stop there. I don’t know anyone in this town, so I walk around for a while, looking for a place to stay. I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do yet, but I figure out that I should be finding a motel or something where I can at least sleep for one night. I finally find a really nice place and the receptionist tells me that they have a spacious room available. I pay the deposit, take the key and make my way up to the room. It’s actually quite nice and after locking the door behind me, I sit down on the bed and take a deep breath. It feels good just to have escaped from Los Angeles for a while and, even though I know I’ll have to go back at some point, I enjoy the idea of just having an opportunity to gather my thoughts.

I decide to take a shower and enjoy the feeling of the hot water as it caresses my traumatized body. I suddenly think back to that biker who’d burst into my office unannounced and can’t believe that I actually had sex with him at the mansion on the night of the Virgin auction. Even though I still sometimes think of that entire experience with fond memories, I now start wondering if there might be more of a price to pay for it than I’d imagine at first. Perhaps I was naïve to think that I could just fuck eleven bikers, make seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars out of the deal and live happily ever after without facing the consequences… And perhaps the most naïve part of it all was the fact that I thought I could have a love relationship with one of those bikers afterwards.

I get out of the shower and towel off before lying down on my bed. This is the time when I sometimes fantasize about Brad and reach for my favorite plastic sex toy, but I feel so tired and drained of energy that I simply pull the covers over myself and fall asleep.

I have a dream about Brad and myself walking into a beautiful mansion. I immediately recognize it as the mansion where the Virgin auction took place and look around to see if there’s anyone else present. But I don’t see anyone and Brad kisses me intimately as we stand at the bottom of the stairs. He tells me that the entire place belongs to just the two of us and, in my dream, I feel an incredible sense of excitement as I find myself thinking that this is the place where Brad and I can live together forever, happily. We start walking up the stairs and I cannot wait to be all alone with Brad in the large bedroom. We walk up to the door of the bedroom and I slowly turn the handle… The door opens in front of me and then I see the terrible biker who visited me at work!

I turn around to ask Brad to chase the man away, but Brad has suddenly vanished and I discover that I’m all alone up there with just the aggressive biker and no one else… he walks up to me with greedy hands and a wicked grin on his hideous face and I suddenly start panicking. I want to get away from him as fast as possible, but my feet won’t move and I just stand there frozen, waiting for him to put his large tree stump arms around me. I feel as if I’m going to have a heart attack and just then I wake up in a cold sweat.

I sit up straight in the motel bed and breathe in deeply a couple of times just to calm down.

“Just a dream… It was just a dream,” I whisper to myself but my heart won’t stop beating like a train on a track.

I get up and make myself a cup of coffee from the cheap instant coffee which they’ve got in the room. It tastes terrible, but at least it makes me feel slightly better. I glance at my watch and notice that it’s 3 o’clock in the morning. I try to go back to sleep, but the terrible dream keeps running through my thoughts and I roll around in the bed for the rest of the night without falling asleep again. At around 6 o’clock I decide to get up and slowly pull on my jeans with hands that feel like those of a zombie. I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do for the rest of the day, but I get the feeling that I’m going to feel tired all day long… very tired.

I shut the motel room behind me and drag my bag over to my car. I take the key back to the receptionist and pay the outstanding amount I owe for the night I’ve spent at the motel.

“I hope you had a wonderful stay and that you will consider staying here with us again,” the receptionist says in a bright tone and I just nod my head tiredly. Then I walk back outside to my car and drive away slowly, not really knowing where I’m going or what I’m going to be doing for the rest of this road trip.