“I have a theory,” Brandon announced, much in the same tone that he would use to say, “I have the measles,” or “there’s a cockroach in the bathroom.”

“Great, do me a favor and keep it to yourself,” Sophie replied, focusing intently on her crossword puzzle.

Brandon looked over at James. “I think that Ned is the reason you didn’t get the role of Tyler.”

James had been perfectly content to focus on his morning yoga, which Sophie, the little shit, had gotten him into after she’d pointed out that lifting weights was all well and good but flexibility was going to go a long way in keeping his muscles from cramping up and dying on him. Now that Brandon was stirring things up, though, he came out of his sun salutation routine and turned to sit cross-legged and stare up at his roommate. “And what makes you think that?”

“There were three people in that room, and no video camera,” Brandon said. “Therefore, those three people are the ones making the decision about whether to cast you or not. You said that Mary Kowalski was excited to have you audition and seemed eager to get you into the room with Jack, so I’m guessing that she wanted you to play Tyler or at least thought that you were a possibility. I’ve heard that Ned influences Jack’s decisions, not the other way around—that Ned is someone who can get Jack to change his mind about things.”

“They didn’t cast me because I don’t have the right look,” James said, immediately defensive of Ned. Ned wouldn’t do something like that because that wasn’t his job. Ned wasn’t shallow, and he wouldn’t argue for a more well-known actor just to get butts in seats. James knew it. “I know that you’re trying to poke holes in my romance, Bran, but seriously, this is unfair. You haven’t even met Ned.”

“I don’t need to, I just need to ask around,” Brandon replied. “Did you know that he used to be a regular at my club? Came in and picked guys up all the time. People who work with him say he’s like a robot, scary and efficient but no emotion.”

“So he went through a phase where he had a lot of one night stands,” James said, anger rising in his chest like boiling water. “So did I.” The Ned he knew was nothing like a robot. The Ned he knew was soft, sweet, funny, and daring.

“I’m just sharing my suspicions,” Brandon replied, hands up in a gesture of placation.

“Well you can take your suspicions and shove them up your ass,” James replied, going back to his yoga.

It didn’t help that they were on the last day of filming. James’ part in the film would be over, which was good because he needed to focus on finals, but Ned would still be busy with Jack on post-production, editing and mixing sound, and doing all of the things that would take the raw footage and turn it into a polished work of art. They’d both be busy, like before, but this time they wouldn’t be busy together on set, and it would mean even less time they got to see each other. James had every faith that they could work it out, but it wouldn’t be easy.

Ned seemed to have sensed it too, because he kept shooting James odd, almost scared looks when he thought that James wasn’t aware—and when was Ned going to realize that James was always aware of him, could sense him like a magnet, pulling him in and drowning him in the scent and feel and look of him?

James could hardly concentrate as they finished, but luckily everyone seemed a little distracted with it being the last day and all, and he didn’t think his acting suffered, or Jack would have noticed and said something.

Still, when Jack announced, “Cut, and that’s a wrap, folks!” James felt his heart sinking.

James helped with clean up as best he could, putting equipment away and helping load the costumes and tarps into a truck. “Thanks for being such a good sport about all of this,” Jack said, picking up the other end of a trunk of lighting equipment while James got the other end.

“It’s no problem,” James replied. “I had a lot of fun, and I enjoyed playing Jerry more than I thought I would.”

“You did well with a difficult role,” Jack said. “I gotta say, sometimes I’m sad that we decided not to cast you as Tyler, but you were perfect for Jerry.”

James nearly lost his grip on the trunk but managed to keep moving. “I figured I just wasn’t the physical type you were looking for, since I look like a linebacker and all.”

“I was all set to cast you,” Jack admitted, “but Ned pointed out that we needed a more experienced actor for such a difficult role. Of course, now we know how hard working and talented you are, but that’s just how it is sometimes. And as I said, you were perfect for Jerry. You managed to make him a three-dimensional character and for that I’m grateful.”

James felt his body go cold all over and for some reason the stupid, inexplicable thought came to him that Brandon was never going to let him live this one down. “Ned said that you shouldn’t cast me as Tyler?”

Jack gave him an odd look, like he’d pointed out a zebra to James and James had said it was a pretty bird. “Yeah. Ned always helps me with casting decisions. Didn’t he—he said that he would tell you. I thought you knew, he was real cut up about it later, kept guilting himself over it.”

“No, he didn’t mention it,” James said, struggling to keep his voice even. He thought he succeeded in seeming calm about it because Jack changed the subject and discussed special effects.

James helped Jack load up the trunk and the rest of the equipment, but he could hardly focus. Blood was roaring in his ears and he still felt oddly cold, then hot, then cold again, like his body literally didn’t know what to do with this knowledge.

Ned, after all that James had told him…Ned had been the one who’d kept him from getting the lead role, the role that would help him establish his career. He’d known it, all the while James was sharing his disappointment, and he hadn’t said anything. Why hadn’t he said anything?

James hurried away from everyone else, desperate to get off the set so he could think. He hadn’t been betrayed, exactly, since he and Ned hadn’t known each other at the time, but he’d lost an opportunity, and Ned hadn’t taken the chance to admit it to him. Ned had lied to him, withheld information, and how could he possibly have said all of those things about the faith he had in James when he hadn’t had the faith to let Jack take a chance on him as Tyler?

He didn’t hear anyone following him, so wrapped up in his own thoughts, until he heard, “James?” and felt someone take his arm.

It was Ned, breathing heavily like he’d had to run to catch up with him. “What’s going on?” Ned asked. “Are you okay? You seem upset.”

James shook his head. “Jack told me about the casting decision.”

Ned’s face turned white, rather than his usual blush, and that told James everything he needed to know. “I—I didn’t know you at the time, James. It was a smart—”

“A smart business decision?” James replied, knowing he sounded cutting and not caring. “You told me that people would want to take a chance on me, but you wouldn’t take a chance on me yourself. Was it all a lie, then? Your faith in my acting?”

“What? No!” Ned reached out for him but James stepped back, out of his reach. “I was just trying to do what was best for Jack and the film, or what I thought was best.”

“I’m sure you were,” James replied coldly. “You know, my roommate said that he’d heard about you. That you were cold, like a robot. I didn’t believe him. But if you wouldn’t consider for one moment that the newer actor deserved the chance more than one who’d been in this business for years. If you thought it was better to go for the actor that would bring you more money rather than the actor that would bring you real talent, then you are cold.”

“That’s not why—”

James shouldered past Ned, using his bulkier frame to his advantage. He didn’t want to hear it. He’d wanted the role of Tyler so badly, and while he’d thought that he’d made his peace with not getting it, apparently he hadn’t, because all of his frustration came back to choke him, make him feel like he was struggling to keep his head above water.

“James, please, just listen to me,” he heard Ned say, but he kept walking. He didn’t want logical explanations. He didn’t want anything. Ned knew his decision was the wrong one or he would have brought it up the other night when they were in bed together.

In bed together. He’d let Ned take him to bed, he’d let himself be vulnerable and fall, and oh how Brandon was going to laugh when James joined him and Sophie in the broken hearts club.

He kept walking, his back to Ned, knowing if he turned around he’d lose it and yell and make a scene, and he didn’t want that. He’d fallen enough in love with Ned to share everything with him, but apparently Ned hadn’t felt the same—apparently, Ned was the cold-hearted person that Brandon had tried to warn him he was.

James kept walking, and walking, and walking, until he was back to his car and couldn’t hear Ned, or the sound of everyone else breaking down the film set, or anything except for his own sluggishly beating heart.