Ethan
As much as I loved my sister, I wanted to be alone with Anna. Our last night together should be about us. We needed to talk, finally, about our future. Did she think we had one? Why was she putting off this conversation until the very last minute?
When she looked at me, I knew she wanted to leave too. I loved the way I could see what was going on behind those beautiful eyes, most of the time.
I stood up to help Jessica clear the table.
“Thanks, Bond. James thinks I’m his personal slave.”
James rolled his eyes. “If you weren’t obsessed with clearing the dishes as soon as the last person has swallowed their final mouthful then I might get a chance to help before you started nagging.”
God, were they still in love? I couldn’t remember if they’d always been like this. Snipping at each other, throwing biting comments back and forth. It was exhausting to watch. I’d much rather be fucking Anna than fighting with her.
The four of us cleared the table and I made our excuses. Jessica, for once, didn’t argue with me. I believed her when she said she wanted to see it work with Anna. Maybe that’s why she didn’t give me a hard time about leaving straight after eating.
“Make sure you two talk it out. I want to see you happy together,” Jessica called as we made our way down their path to the street.
Anna looked at me and rolled her eyes. “Your sister is relentless.”
I smiled. “She is. But she’s right. The time is now. We need to talk.”
Anna nodded but didn’t say anything as I flagged down a taxi. We sat close in the cab and I held her hand in both of mine, rubbing my thumb across her knuckles. The tension thickened between us. We sat in silence as the London streets zipped by. I’d miss this city. New York was part of my soul but so was Anna—and for me London was all about Anna, which made it the best place on earth.
I was trying to decide how I was going to say what I wanted to say. I’d had weeks, no months, to think about it and now the moment was almost here and I couldn’t quite decide how to put what I was feeling into words. I loved her. I wanted us to be together. But I needed her to want all the same things and I wasn’t sure if I was about to get my heart ripped out of my chest.
As the cab pulled up, Anna took a deep breath. I tried to catch her eye but she avoided looking at me. I felt a dull thud in my chest. Fuck. I didn’t know if I’d survive this.
We made our way into the apartment in silence. Anna was first to speak, thanking me as I took her jacket.
“Whiskey?” she asked.
I nodded. I followed her to the kitchen and she set about the now familiar routine of setting out the glasses, dividing the ice and then pouring the amber liquid.
We took our drinks and Anna forced a smile at me. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
We settled on the sofa and I pulled her legs onto my lap. I loved being able to touch her any time I pleased. I loved that whenever we sat on this sofa, her legs were mine.
“So,” she said.
“So,” I replied.
“So, you want to have the talk now?”
Of course I wanted to have the talk now. Didn’t she? A lump formed in my throat. I couldn’t speak, so I nodded.
“Okay,” she said.
I nodded again. At work I used silence as a negotiation tactic. It was amazing how much someone would give away if you didn’t respond to their initial offer. They’d often negotiate against themselves. But my silence in that moment was helping me not get on my knees and beg her to come back to New York with me. I needed to know what she wanted. Did she see a future for us?
“So where do we start?” she asked.
“You start,” I choked out and took a gulp of whiskey, hoping that it would numb any pain and allow me to get my words out when the time came.
“What do you want me to say?” she asked.
That fucking irritated me. What did she think I wanted her to say? At least the agitation seemed to neutralize my nerves slightly.
“I want to you to tell me what you want. No bullshit, no ambiguity.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Don’t I get to hear the same from you?” she asked.
“You do.”
“So, go ahead.”
Such a fucking lawyer. I chuckled. “No way, beautiful. I’m getting the last word here. You’re going to start and you’re going to tell me the truth. I want every single thought that’s spinning in that beautiful head of yours coming out of that beautiful, very talented, mouth of yours. Now, go ahead.”
She looked at me, trying to decide what to say. Surely, she’d thought about this? Surely she knew what she wanted?
“I like you,” she said, finally.
“You like me?” I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Well, you know. I really like you.” She started to laugh and she rolled her eyes at me. “You know I love you, Ethan.”
I leaned forward and kissed her on the corner of her mouth. I couldn’t help it. I never got tired of hearing those words coming from her. “It feels like there’s a but coming.”
“Well, the but is we live on different continents. You have a life and a career in New York and I have a life and career in London. I’d say that’s a pretty big but.”
I nodded. To me, it wasn’t that big a issue. There were ways of making this work. Did she see them?
“So, if I wanted to be a lawyer about it,” she continued, “we have various options.”
I nodded again, willing her on.
“We could agree to part ways here and now. No complications, no ambiguity, no bullshit. . .” She looked at me, and I wasn’t sure if I should respond. She was using my words, was she thinking that was my preferred option?
“For the record, that’s my least favorite of all the options.” The words tumbled out before I had a chance to stop them.
A smile spread slowly across her face. “How do you know that the other options aren’t worse?”
“I can’t think of anything worse than my life without you.”
“Ethan.” My name came out in a half whisper. “It will be complicated.”
“I’ve been trying to hold back, to allow you to tell me what you want, but I can’t wait another second. I want you, Anna. Whatever it takes.”
“Whatever it takes?”
I nodded. “So, you seem to have thought about this. Do you have a plan?” The words came out through her grin.
“First I want to hear what you want. How much convincing do I need to do?”
“You think you need to convince me?”
I shrugged.
She scrambled across my lap, her knees either side of my lap. “You don’t need to convince me of anything. I’m good at complicated.”
I felt the air leave my chest and my body relax as I grabbed her face in my hands and pushed my lips against hers. Pulling away I said, “I fly tomorrow.” Why hadn’t we talked about this sooner, we could have been making plans?
“Then let’s make every moment count. Don’t expect any sleep tonight, Mr. Scott.”