Chapter Fourteen
After about ten minutes, Nick insisted that he was well enough to drive. The rearview mirror was still empty. Kitty pulled over and left him to it. She had her license, but she’d only driven a car a few times—her parents usually drove—so she figured Nick had more practice at it.
They switched seats and were quickly moving again.
They drove on, following signs for Interstate 80, leading Nick to believe they might be in Wyoming. After another hour of traveling at top speeds, Nick veered off when he saw a Walmart sign. He parked.
“I think you should stay here,” he offered, his hands on the steering wheel, his eyes straight ahead.
She might have argued at another time, but she was exhausted. Holding Jeremy that long had taken a toll. Besides, Nick’s thoughts jumped around. He could use a minute alone, she suspected.
So she nodded. He left the car running and went inside.
Five minutes later, he returned in different clothes—jeans and a navy jacket. Reaching under his shirt, he yanked out a pair of leggings, a sweatshirt, and a pair of slip-on shoes. “I got you something.”
He could have presented her with flowers or diamonds, and she wouldn’t have been any happier. She realized the clothes had probably been stolen. They didn’t have any money. But if she’d learned anything, it was that sometimes people did what they had to in order to survive. They’d be less visible in these clothes than in their jumpsuits.
She scurried into the backseat and hurried into the clothes as Nick sped off again.
The shoes were too big, but she’d never been so happy to put on something that didn’t have snaps.
As Nick didn’t seem to be in a talkative mood, she remained quiet as she climbed back into the passenger seat. The silence stretched on as he thought through what they should do, watched for people following them, and worried about her.
Fifteen minutes later, they pulled off the highway at a Travelodge. Nick drove the Hummer around the back, out of sight of the street.
“I need to call Martins.” He turned off the car. “We can do that here, get some sleep, maybe. Figure out what to do.”
“I know.” She’d listened to his plan after all. “You’ve stolen some wallets.”
His mouth thinned, and he pulled them out of the pocket of his new jacket. “Yeah. One from a mom who was turned, yelling at her kids. Another lady, debating between yogurts.” He dropped them on the seat beside her. “Amazing how many women shop with the top of their bags open.”
He grimaced, hating what he’d done. She squeezed his arm, shrugged. “What else could we do?”
“Yeah.” He opened each of them, yanking out the cash. “Looks like about ninety bucks, total. Let’s hope that gets us a room for the night.” He didn’t touch the cards. Cards left trails.
“You think it’s safe? To stop?”
“I don’t know, but I think the sooner we contact Martins, the better.” He slipped outside. “You coming?”
“I’ll wait here while you get the room.” She didn’t have a good poker face. She was afraid she’d look guilty, give them away.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“Leave the car on.” He closed the door gently, talking through the broken window. “Move into the driver’s seat. That way, if you need to get going fast, you can.”
She might have laughed at him if she didn’t know how ragged his nerves already were. She did as he asked. But she did sigh and roll her eyes.
“If you have to,” he said, “just leave me…”
She cut him off at that. “Nick. I’m fine. You’ll only be inside for a few minutes. Go.” She could manage by herself that long, for goodness sakes.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” He floundered between wanting to keep her close and worrying that she would be out in the open.
“I’m no good at lying. I should stay.” She smiled. “Seriously. You’ll be right back. I’m fine.”
“Right.” He nodded, still uncertain. He didn’t like how quiet and secluded the hotel was. Finally, he rapped his knuckles twice on the roof and jogged to the door. She watched him and admired the play of his rear end as he ran.
It was funny… Three weeks ago, she would have thought his behavior was bossiness and overbearing jerkiness. Now, she knew him. He fussed, he worried. He needed to watch over the people he cared about, and he feared that something he would do would result in her being harmed.
She found it pretty adorable.
Glancing around, she took in the motel. It wasn’t big and appeared to be in need of some TLC. The sign lit fully, so that was something. Smaller indications of shabbiness surrounded her. Weeds grew out of cracks in the asphalt. Some of the rooms showed signs of long-term tenants, with plastic chairs by the doors and different colored curtains. The parking spaces looked like a used car lot…from a decade ago.
To her, it felt like paradise.
They’d made it. They’d escaped.
Nick returned, and she couldn’t contain her joy. “We did it. We made it out.”
“Yes. That we did.” Nick’s jaw tightened. Their departure played through his mind. Her, holding Jeremy captive in his own head. Him, taking down a whole bunch of cars and a helicopter. He focused on the dangerous parts, not the end result. “Come on. Let’s go in.”
She followed him up the side stairs, silent, not sure what to say to soothe him.
The motel must’ve been really old because he pulled a key—not a key card—out of his pocket and let them into room 208.
The door swung open revealing a room with the basics: a queen bed, a dresser with an older television on it, a standing lamp. Nick flipped on the lamp and the raggedness of it was cast in stark light. None of these things had been purchased in this decade.
“Home sweet home.”
Kitty stepped in, looking closer. “It’s definitely nothing fancy.” She swiped her finger along the dresser and threw back the bedspread to find crisp sheets. Leaning over, she inhaled. Only freshness greeted her. “But it’s clean.”
“That’s something.”
Nick closed the door behind him and immediately picked up the phone. His movements were jerky.
He was off, but she couldn’t figure out why.
She listened as he maneuvered through the maze of connections to speak with someone at the Army. She retreated to the restroom to splash water on her face, and to give him some privacy.
In the bathroom, she turned the hot water on. As her fingers played in the stream, she sighed. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt warm water on her skin.
In the other room, she listened to Nick’s conversation with Martins in his head. “Wyoming somewhere, I expect. Can you get us tonight?”
I need to clear you…Martins hedged. Nick’s frustration exploded.
“Bullshit, sir. You need to get us out of here. The longer we’re here, the more vulnerable we are.”
I realize that, son. Are you somewhere safe?
“I think so. But we don’t have a lot of time. Fields. The doctor? Goldstone cut him loose.”
We are aware.
Nothing else? Only we are aware? What kind of answer was that?
Nick was equally incensed. “Sir, he plans to sell the drug, what appears to be a significant quantity. He planned to sell Kitty.” The red-tinted anger filled his mind. She closed her eyes, hurting for him.
I see.
That also didn’t sound promising. Nick’s problem was he didn’t know exactly what Martins knew and what he didn’t. Nick was fishing, and he didn’t know what to use as bait.
He paused. Need to offer incentive. Won’t get us unless incentive. “Kitty can control people’s minds.”
Control them? Martins didn’t conceal his surprise that time. Kitty stared at herself in the mirror. What did that matter?
“Yes. There’s no one else that can do that, at least that I know of. Fields is going to sell Kitty along with the drug to a Middle Eastern businessman with terrorist connections.”
Martins remained silent.
“You need to get her. She’s important.”
There was a long pause.
“We have your location. There is a field behind the motel. The extraction will occur there in two hours.”
“Thank you, sir.” Nick barely concealed amusement. He marveled at the “what have you done for me lately?” mentality of the military as he dropped the phone in its cradle.
Kitty unwrapped the hotel soap bar and splashed water on her face—goodness that felt good—and lathered her hands. She considered the conversation.
Why had Nick mentioned her to make Martins to agree to come quickly? More important, why had it worked? There were so many things Nick could have said. He could have mentioned that he was changed. He could have told him that there were at least ten changed soldiers, with plans to change more. Instead, he’d mentioned her.
She rinsed over and over, not able to get enough of the warm water. In the next room, Nick’s mind roiled.
We could have been better prepared, that could have gone more smoothly. We came so close to being recaptured. So close to almost not making it.
Her stomach soured, and her joy at getting out floated away like the water down the drain.
He hadn’t thought she could do it.
She turned the water off, drying her face. When she was done, she took a calming breath, straightened her Walmart sweatshirt, and joined Nick, who stared out the window, lost in his thoughts.
We passed so many people. The door… Jeremy broke free… So close to not making it.
No reason to put this off. She dove right in. “You didn’t think I could do it.”
It was a statement, not a question.
His head jerked toward her, his gorgeous face full of surprise. “That isn’t it at all. What made you think that?”
“I heard you, in the bathroom. Thinking about how we should have prepared better. How you were afraid we were almost recaptured.” She tapped the side of her head. “I can hear you, remember?”
“Of course I’m sitting here thinking how we could have prepared better. There was so much room for error in what we did.” He ran his hands over his face, rubbed his jaw. “You have to see that.”
“That’s what I mean. You’re blaming me.”
“I’m blaming me!” he exclaimed. He dug his hands into his hair and spun back to the window. His eyes drifted to the ceiling, as if searching for answers or forgiveness in the cruddy drop tiles. “If I’d planned better…We almost didn’t get out.”I could have lost her. They would have separated us. I almost let that happen.
“You think it was your fault?” she whispered. What was this? That didn’t even make sense. He’d played his part perfectly. It hadn’t been him who’d almost let Jeremy give them away.
He dropped his arms, facing her again, his face so full of anguish it hurt to see it. “Of course it was. I should have prepared us better. I should have seen how you could use your power to help us. Why didn’t I do that?” He continued to rail against himself, blaming himself over and over for what could have happened.
Unable to remain still, she stepped closer. He was so upset that his entire body was tight with it. She’d seen her father tense with anger before. Both she and her mother would steer clear of him or risk sending him into a rage.
Nick? She couldn’t help reaching out to him. He practically screamed for comfort.
She laid her hand on his arm.
“You aren’t the only one here, Nick,” she offered. “I didn’t think to prepare, either. Honestly, I didn’t count my gift at all.”
“Why not?” His voice vibrated with disbelief.
“I can’t control it. This stupid power is barely useful.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.” He shook his head. “You don’t see yourself clearly at all.”
She snorted. “Please. I’ve known myself much longer than you’ve known me. I think I get it.”
“No, you don’t.” His jaw tightened. “Why do you think that Ahmed guy insisted on proof of your power? He said it himself. He’d seen movers and he’d seen people with strength. But it was you that most intrigued him. Why do you think that is?”
She had no idea what he was getting at. “I don’t know.”
“Because your power trumps the other talents.” He laughed without humor. “And you don’t even see that.”
She could only stare at him. He thought her power was the strongest?
“Think about it, Kit. I froze five men. One of them could still paralyze us. He tried to choke us. I had no idea which one it was, and I couldn’t stop him.” He ran his hand over his head. “But you? You knew which one was misbehaving, and you made him let us go. I might be able to make people move, but you can change people’s minds.”
She shook her head. “Only for a while. Jeremy fought back. I couldn’t hold him.”
“Because we didn’t practice. That’s what I’m saying. While we’d been focusing on me, we should have been focusing on you. You were the more important piece, and I didn’t see it.”
He thought she’d been more important than him? “You took out a bunch of cars. Ruined a helicopter.”
“Yes, but you walked us past dozens of people. And nobody noticed.”
She laughed. She couldn’t help it. The way he remembered it wasn’t how she’d seen it at all.
“I was terrified,” she admitted. She’d heard him wonder if she could do it, in the hall outside the conference room. But in truth, she’d wondered if she could do it, too. She’d been so afraid, walking through that compound. To hear him tell it, though, she’d been a hero. It was too much.
His face sobered. “Of course you were afraid. Being afraid is human.”
“I thought you didn’t believe I could do it.”
“Not you, baby. Never you.” He shook his head. “I think you could do anything, take anything and still survive. It’s not you that I doubt.”
He turned from her to face the window again. His head dropped low, and his uncertainties washed over her, filled her.
He didn’t doubt her. He doubted himself.
I almost lost her. Again.
Her throat tightened. How had she ever been so foolish? She’d known when she met Nick that he wanted to protect her, whether she wanted his protection or not. He held himself to a standard that he would never expect from anyone else.
But while he expected perfection from himself, he accepted imperfection from others. She’d thought that if Nick knew her, if he really knew her, he’d run screaming for the hills. He had a family full of love. He mastered anything he decided to do. More, he cared about people openly, without fear. How could a guy like that understand a girl like her?
She’d never fit in. She was awkward, introverted. She’d had a strange upbringing and a strange new power… Just an all-around strange girl.
She’d misjudged him. Maybe it was because of how he’d been raised, with that support around him, that Nick didn’t care what anyone else thought. He’d taken one look at her, and he’d decided he liked her. It mattered to him what happened to her and that had been the end of it.
She’d tried to shut him down, that first time in San Antonio, but he’d still come for her. He’d warned her against Jeremy, but she hadn’t listened. If she knew him, he’d probably blamed himself for her not listening to him. He’d come because he couldn’t leave her there, alone.
The others who’d come… She’d heard Kenny’s thoughts. He’d been committed to the mission, to taking down Fields. To stopping the distribution of Solvimine. They wanted to extract her, but it hadn’t been their primary objective.
Not, Nick… For Nick, it had always been about her.
This girl…I’d be lost without her.
Unable to take any more, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him close. Laying her ear on his back, she listened to his heartbeat and smiled against his shirt.
So, this is what it felt like. Those times he’d stood, touching her without saying anything, to comfort her? It felt as good to ease him.
He remained rigid in her embrace, as if he didn’t know if he should accept her support.
As if he believed he didn’t deserve it.
Luckily, his desire to hold her won out, and he turned, pulling her into his arms. She softened against him. He rubbed his cheek against her hair, exhaling an unsteady breath.
“You were wonderful,” she whispered against his chest. “You are wonderful.”
“No…” She could feel him shaking his head, shaking off her words.
Scowling, she pulled his face down, touching their foreheads. “You don’t get the only say.” Their eyes met and his fingers flexed into her shirt, holding on as if he never wanted to let go. “And I say you were wonderful. We made it out. Together.”
“We made it.”We made it. She’s here. We’re out. He shuddered, and his litany was full of gratitude and relief.
She nodded. “Yes. And you won’t lose me. We’re in this together.”
As the words left her mouth, she knew they were true. Truer than anything she’d ever said. Nick Degrassi had filled her, made her feel again when she’d believed she was broken.
She would keep that—his faith in her—always.
He tugged her to him, crushing her against his chest, as if he couldn’t get her close enough.
She ran her hands along the muscles of his back, much more accessible in the plain gray T-shirt he’d worn under his jacket. She only aimed to reassure him, but when he dropped his head to her neck and placed his lips in the crook, her hands stilled. She sucked in a shaky breath, the feel of his warm breath against the sensitive skin sending a shiver along her neck, down her back, and into her belly.
I need to feel her. Desperation laced his desire, and she understood it perfectly.
She needed to touch him, too, to know that he was, in fact, in front of her, and they were free.
She stood on tiptoe, stretching to him, pulling at his shirt. In response, he dragged his mouth up her neck to capture her lips.
From that first touch of his mouth, she was lost. He nipped at her bottom lip, and she followed his lead, trapping his upper lip between her teeth, running her tongue along it. He growled, taking her mouth more fully. Each touch pushed her higher, made her more fevered for him.
So good. So damn good. His hands moved to the bottom of her sweatshirt. Too many clothes.
She couldn’t agree more. She leaned back long enough for him to slide it over her head, and then she immediately pulled at the hem of his T-shirt, yanking at it, unable to remove the barriers between them fast enough.
Her fingers dropped to his waist, tugging at the button there. She’d never tried to undo a jeans button from the front, so she fumbled. The shaking of her fingers wasn’t helping, either.
Gently, he pushed her hands aside and undid the fastening with a flick. A quick wiggle and his pants dropped to the ground. A jerk at her waistband and her leggings joined his jeans in the pool of clothing at their feet.
When their mouths met again, the warmth of his skin, touching her from head to toe, made her knees weaken and her stomach feel like fireworks were exploding inside. She swayed, gripping his shoulders with her fingers to hold herself up.
Whoa, baby. I’ve got you. He swept her into his arms as if she weighed nothing, and he carried her to the bed. He nudged the comforter down with his knee and followed her onto the sheets, never breaking contact with her mouth.
His hand cupped her breast, and she came off the bed with a cry, her fingers digging into the sheets beside her.
Slow down. Slow down. He recited the words like a vow. He took a deep breath, shifting back, forcing his fingers to soften on her skin. Too fast. She’s new to this, a virgin. Gentle. Slow.
“No, Nick. Please.” She reached for him, pulling at him, needing to feel more of him against her. After the fear and anxiety of getting out of the compound, she didn’t want to play it safe anymore. She wanted to feel alive, whole. She leaned up, trying to get closer. She didn’t know what she wanted, but she knew that whatever it was, Nick would give it to her.
“Hush, love.” He brushed his knuckle along her cheek then ran his thumb along her bottom lip, purposely slowing their pace. Her eyes drifted closed, savoring the intensity of the feelings. But as he dropped his head to skim kisses along her collarbone, she forced herself to open them again. She didn’t want to miss what he was doing. He continued his path, down her sternum to kiss her ribs, before he covered first her left breast, then her right, with the softest kisses imaginable.
In the wake of his kisses, her skin felt alive, tingling, and an ache had begun in her chest, another in her stomach.
No matter how she urged, he refused to hurry. She might have been frustrated if she thought he was teasing her. But she didn’t feel as if that was his intention. Instead, he was focused, determined not to miss an inch of her.
Nick was a perfectionist, after all.
When he kissed her hip, she sucked in another breath. She wasn’t even certain how she was still conscious. It didn’t feel as if she had enough air in her body. But there could be less pleasant ways to go, if this was going to be the end of her.
His hands trailed up her inner thighs, and as he settled between them, she felt his warm breath on her.
My God. She’s perfect in every way. His finger trailed along her hip. She whimpered. But when he dropped his head farther, his mouth falling on the most sensitive part of her, her hips lifted off the bed, and she cried out.
I’ve never seen anything as beautiful in my whole life.
His thought humbled her, brought tears to her eyes, as his mouth sent waves of fire slicing through her body. What he was doing with his tongue, his lips…it was luscious and dark and joyful at the same time.
He lifted his head long enough to slip a finger inside her, and she cried out his name.
My name sounds amazing on her lips.
The soft and steady movements of his fingers caught her breath. He dropped his head, returning his tongue to where everything about her converged. As he continued, her hips caught his rhythm, as if they knew exactly where this was going.
Her mind skipped, from the things his fingers were doing, to what his tongue was doing…to her breathing, or lack of it, and to the coiling in her stomach, the end she knew would be coming.
Perfect. Nothing has ever been as sexy as Kitty with my fingers inside her.
His thought, so primal and possessive, was the sexiest thing she’d ever heard. Then, he curved his fingers up the slightest bit and her body sang. She came apart in his arms.
He kept his rhythm as she drifted back to him, then he gathered her against him.
In the aftermath, she groggily realized he was still breathing fast, his body tense.
“You…” She sighed. “Your turn.” She made the offer with more bravado than she felt. She’d never even kissed someone before Nick, so returning favors wasn’t in her repertoire. But it was Nick. She’d do the best she could.
“Sleep, baby. Sleep.” Slow. A virgin. There will be other times.
“Nick…” She planned to argue. Yes, she was a virgin, but she wanted him. When she opened her mouth, though, he kissed her.
“We have time.” Sleep. I’ll watch over you.
Of course he would. It was Nick.
Besides, her eyelids were heavy. A short nap, that’s what she needed. Tucked in the crook of his arm, his hard body behind her, she allowed herself to relax, truly relax, for maybe the first time in months.
As her eyes closed and she drifted, floating, his thought laced its way through her mind. It was a whisper. Half asleep, she wasn’t sure if it was real or if she wanted it to be real.
I am yours…