Capture

KENNA, ON THE EDGE OF A VOLCANO

I shifted my feet nervously, and I accidentally touched a screw on the platform. I jumped away from the burning hot metal with a yelp.

"Are you okay?" Dar said, concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I just touched a bit of hot metal, that's all."

I could feel my foot beginning to ache, but I didn't complain. We had bigger problems than my foot.

We were on a wooden platform that had been built to hold Susohn's worst criminals. Mount Shassin was an active volcano — and yes, actually, that is as scary as it sounds. It was hot, there was smoke, and I felt like I was going to melt.

I made the mistake of looking down into the crater, and I felt my head spin. We were nearly four hundred feet above the lava, according to Dar. Below us, the volcano looked like deadly glowing coals. I wondered if anyone had ever given up hope and jumped. I shuddered at the thought of my fragile flesh being destroyed by the molten rock.

The heat was intense, like sitting beside an open oven set at maximum times about a million. I felt like I was baking. The sweat was already dripping down my neck.

It was awful, but I felt that I could handle the heat and the fear.

The infernal noise was making me lose my mind. As we had approached the volcano, the sounds got louder and louder. Sitting here on top of everything, I heard a dull roar that didn't stop. I felt like I couldn't even think. When Dar spoke, he had to raise his voice for me to hear him over the volcano.

"Kenna, I'm sorry. I should have just lied. Then we would not be here now," Dar shouted, his face full of regret. "I was not thinking clearly."

"No. Don't be silly. You had to tell the truth. Then you would be alive but you wouldn't be able to live with yourself." It was crazy, but I knew it to be true. His integrity was important to him. It would kill him to lie, especially in a situation like this. "Besides we're not dead yet, are we?" I grinned to show him I couldn't be beaten.

"No. Not yet," he said, looking away across the crater to where we could see the capital city in the distance. The palace gleamed in the fading light of one of Susohn's suns as it set. It was mocking us.

I wondered what Dar's mother thought of this turn of events. I hoped she hadn't expected this outcome. Maybe she would save Dar somehow. Right? I was pretty sure she thought he would discard me, and everything would go back to the way it was. She had not counted on her son's feelings for me being powerful.

I glanced over at him and saw a bruise on his right cheekbone appearing. One of the younger guards had punched him when Dar had been protecting me from their rough handling. He looked quite fierce at the time, and I felt one side of my mouth pull up in a half-smile at the thought.

"You never told me your name was Darvish," I said.

"It never came up," he said, still watching the sunset. He grinned.

"Darvish Shu'in," I said, trying it out.

"Officially, it's Darvish Micah Nindan Therossell Shu'in. But who's counting?" He shrugged.

"Wow. That's some name."

"Mm, hm." He seemed lost in thought. "But the real me is just Dar. That's why I used it with you."

He turned his head to look at me.

"Even then, you saw me, Kenna. The real me. The one who was not wearing a crown."

I bit my lip.

"I guess somebody's got to keep you on your toes," I said.

"You have certainly done that."

We were silent for a long time, watching the second sun descend in the sky. The oranges and reds set the desert on fire. I got thirsty, and I wondered how long we would last up here. I put the thought out of my head. It wouldn't do to complain — not even to myself. It would only make things worse.

"Doesn't it strike you as hypocritical to have your society be all about The Three but still execute people?"

"It is not execution..."

"Dar, let's be real here. It's murder by a different name. No one has blood on their hands, but we're as good as dead." I raised both eyebrows at him.

He sighed.

"You're right. There are many changes to make if we are to live by the principles of The Three in our hearts as well as in our minds. I see that now, thanks to you."

I suppose my subconscious had been thinking about our predicament this entire time, and without thinking about, I blurted out, "Tell me, your highness, what are the rules for this game?"

"Game?" He frowned in confusion.

"Nobody's going to kill us. They're just leaving us for dead."

"Right."

"Are we allowed to escape?"

"If we can."

"Is someone allowed to help us escape?"

"If they can. It is not easy."

"Of course not, but it's allowed?"

"As I said before, we are content to let the criminals die if circumstances so dictate. If circumstances arrange themselves so the criminal escapes, then we accept that is how things were supposed to be."

"And you just let them go and do whatever they want?"

"Yes. If The Three wanted them to die, they would have. Everyone put up here dies, of course."

"As far as you know."

He looked over at me.

"Yes, as far as I know."

"Who comes to check?"

"No one."

"And if we escape then your mother can't put us back up here?"

"Nope. Unless we break another law."

"So all we have to do is escape," I said happily.

"Yes, Kenna," Dar said heavily, staring down into the lava. "That's all."

DAR

We had been on the platform for one day and one night.

The inside of my mouth felt stuck together, and my lips were as rough as sandpaper.

"I wonder what it would be like to die of thirst," I said conversationally to Kenna.

"It's probably about as comfortable as dying of embarrassment when you have to pee off a platform in front of the guy you're sleeping with," she said. She closed her eyes.

"I turned my back!" I said, protesting. At least we could still joke and talk. Pretty soon we wouldn't have enough saliva even for that.

"I'm sure you could hear me," she said. Then she returned to the original topic. "Maybe it's like freezing to death. They say that's the most pleasant way to go."

"What would you know about it?" I said, curious.

"Where I lived, it got down to minus forty Celsius and you could freeze to death if you got lost or ended up with no shelter."

I was horrified.

"Whatever you do, don't go to sleep," she told me seriously. "If you're stuck outside in the cold."

"Why not?" I said.

"Because you'll never wake up. That's what they say it's like when you freeze to death. You go to sleep, and you don't ever open your eyes again."

"That seems horrible."

"But peaceful!" she pointed out brightly. "Better than this."

The hot wind was blowing, and both suns were shining down. The fetid breath of the volcano was belching heat and stench up towards us. I felt as dry as an eighty-year-old carcass in the desert reduced to nothing but desiccated bones. Every cell in my body was crying out for water, but I knew we wouldn't get any. Maybe if it was the rainy season...but that was long past. We were doomed.

"I wish you could see my old home," Kenna said, a dreamy look on her face. "In the middle of winter."

"Tell me about it," I said. I was eager to think of anything other than our approaching death.

"In the fall, it starts to get colder and colder, and the leaves turn orange and red and yellow until they fall off the trees. Then the temperature goes below zero. The ice on the lake freezes and snow starts to fall."

"What's snow like?" I had a hunger to learn every last little detail about her and her life before we separated forever.

"It's like ice in a way," she said, struggling to explain it to me. "It's like when you have ice, and you scrape it. Have you ever seen the ice like that?"

"Yes, sometimes when it's scorching, the chef at the palace will scrape the ice and pile the scrapings around a cold dessert that we are having. The ice is not clear, but white instead."

"Exactly. That's a perfect description of snow. Frothy, sort of. And when you look at one individual snowflake..." her eyes got a far away look as if she was remembering. "...it's the most amazing thing you have ever seen."

"The frothy ice is amazing?" It hadn't seemed unusual to me but then I hadn't been looking at it through her eyes.

"Snowflakes come in the most intricate geometric patterns you can imagine. They used to say that not one snowflake was alike before science went and ruined it. I still like to think that I'll never see two snowflakes that are alike. I wish you could see snow for yourself! My pathetic descriptions are nothing like the real thing."

"No, your stories are beautiful," I said. "I've never had any desire to go to Earth before. But to see snow, now that might be worth it."

"There's no snow at all here?"

I shook my head, and we lapsed into silence again. Both of us were thinking I would never get the chance to go to Earth because we would be dead in the next two days.

"I can't believe my mother would do this to me. I know she loves me. Surely she wouldn't sacrifice me to prove a point and win an argument?" I said, my heart filled with pain at the thought. I had believed that my mother loved me in spite of her general lack of mothering skills. Her actions did not seem like love.

"I don't think her ploy turned out at all like she imagined, Dar. She thought that threatening to arrest you would be enough to have you swearing me off forever. She believes I'm like Salya and only interested in becoming the queen."

I glanced at her sharply.

"You are nothing like Salya," I said, managing to find a bit of energy to speak with an edge to my tone.

"But she doesn't know that. She thinks I'm just the flavor of the month. When you refused to swear that..." She trailed off. "Well, when you refused to swear the oath, she had to go through with it or look like a fool or worse, inconsistent."

"Of course, and my mother hates nothing more than looking foolish." Now her behavior made more sense.

"Exactly. It's not that she doesn't love you. I'm sure she's frantically trying to find an out, right now. I wouldn't be surprised if we had a visitor, come to offer one of us another deal."

I frowned. That seemed extremely unrealistic, but Kenna was still talking.

"And Dar, if someone comes, we should take whatever deal they offer us. No matter what." I frowned. "We can't be together if we're dead, Dar."

I sighed deeply.

"I know."

"Whatever it takes to get us off this platform, we'll do it, deal?"

She held out her hand to shake, and I stared at it.

"But…"

"Whatever happens, we'll figure out a way around it."

I looked up into her eyes and what I saw there gave me hope.

"Kenna."

"You said that nothing in the universe would keep us apart, Dar. Did you mean it, or not?"

"Kenna…"

"Did you mean it? Or were you just talking out your ass?"

"I meant it. I meant it."

"Then we'll figure something out. Whatever we have to agree to, to save our lives, we'll do it, right? Now do we have a deal, or not?"

She held out her hand again. Slowly, I reached out and shook. She had a firm grip and a determined look on her face.

"Of course, that's if someone comes." I said.

KENNA

Dar and I had stopped talking after the second day. Our mouths were too dry. I wondered how much time we had left. When our brains became too dehydrated, we'd begin to hallucinate. By then, it would be over.

After the sun had gone down, I lay down on the hard boards and fell asleep. It was the only respite we had from the desperate thirst. As I slept, I had a dream.

A hovercraft appeared above the platform, and angels all in white came and took me in. They spirited me away to where it was cool and gave me water to drink. Nothing had ever tasted so good as that dream water — ice-cold and thirst quenching. After I had drunk as much as I wanted, they laid me down on a bed, and I fell asleep.

When I awoke, the queen was sitting in a chair beside me.

Great. It wasn't bad enough that I had to see this woman in real life, but now she was invading my dreams too?

"Has she had enough water to understand what I'm saying?" she said to a man nearby. He nodded.

"You're sure," she said. "She needs to be able to make a proper decision."

"Yes, your majesty. The IV has been running for a couple of hours. The dehydration is under control, and her brain is functioning again. She is fine."

I begged to differ. I was not fine. But I was too weak to argue. It didn't seem fair that I had to be thirsty in my dreams as well as during my waking nightmare.

"Miss DeAndrea," the queen said. "I have no desire to harm my son or make him unhappy."

The unspoken message seemed to be: On the other hand, I don't care what happens to you.

"I would like this silliness to stop. There's no reason that you two should be left out there until you die."

I waited. Even in a dream, I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to be interrupted.

She examined me carefully. The older woman was wearing royal yellow but not a dress this time. She had on a pair of pants and a longer shirt with gold embroidery on the chest.

She didn't look her age, but Dar said that people on Susohn routinely live to be up to one hundred and twenty years old.

I felt ugly and filthy compared to her. My hair stuck out all over the place from its formerly neat braid. My face was sweaty and smoky.

"If I get you off that platform, you will make my son happy by marrying him and bearing him seven children as is our custom. Queens must have as many heirs as possible."

If I thought I had been dreaming before, this confirmed it.

"But you only had one child," I said, grasping at anything other than the idea of actually marrying Dar. I just wasn't ready to think about that, even in a dream.

The queen looked sad. Her appearance reminded me that she was just a woman and had feelings like everyone else.

"Not for lack of trying. We buried three daughters only days after they were born. Two never saw the light of day — they were stillborn. Dar was the only one born alive and healthy. My son. My only son."

"And now you're trying to kill him? What kind of a mother are you? You're crazier than I thought, old lady," I said, saddened and appalled by this admission.

Did I think that or say it out loud? At least I didn't have to be polite in my dreams. I could say whatever I wanted to the old bitch.

"I'm not trying to kill him," she said vehemently. "I was attempting to save him. I love him."

"You've got a funny way of showing it," I said, shaking my head. What a sad thing she was — trying to help her son and nearly getting him killed in the process. Wait, were those tears in her eyes?

"I've seen the error of my ways," she said, taking a deep breath. "I want him to be happy. I want him to marry you."

"Now you're being all supportive?" I said, sure that my skepticism was showing on my face. "You're giving us your blessing, and you want me to give you grandbabies? When two days ago you had us arrested and left for dead? Forgive me if I don't believe you."

She took a deep breath and looked like she was trying to keep her temper.

"I have had a change of heart. I did not expect that Dar would refuse to give you up. You have deeply ensnared..." Her voice trailed off. She glanced at me. "Forgive me. He is more deeply in love with you than I thought."

"Uh-huh."

"Of course I don't want him to die. I would be devastated. I want him to be alive and happy and for our planet to continue to prosper. After due consideration, I want you to agree to marry him. And I'll come and get you off that platform."

What an absurd dream.

"All I have to do is agree to marry him, and you'll save us?" I said, still incredulous.

"Yes. Well, not exactly." I knew there was a catch. "You can't marry him as you are."

I looked down at my filthy self.

"Well, no. I'd have to change my clothes."

"Not your clothes." She rolled her eyes at me. "You must have Susohnnan citizenship to marry him legally. He can have the statute about consorting with inferior species repealed because it goes against our constitution."

"And how do I get citizenship?"

"It's a small matter, barely worth mentioning. I'll let Darvish explain it to you."

"And if I don't agree to marry him?"

She looked at me sadly.

"Then you will both perish."

"You would let your son die?"

She swallowed, and I knew that those were tears in her eyes this time.

"I have no choice. The law allows only one intervention." She held up her pointer finger. "This is his last chance — and yours, too. If you refuse to bargain, and I save you, then I will be as guilty as you and will be put in jail. Criminals have one chance at redemption. You have three hours to decide before the deal expires."

I couldn't let Dar die. Not if I had the power to save him.

"Sedate her," the queen said. "And return her to the platform."

As the lights went out, I thought it was a strange thing for her to say.

DAR

The bright sun on my face woke me up, but I found it hard to sit up. Eventually, I dragged myself into a sitting position and was surprised to see that Kenna was lying with her head facing south. When we were still talking, she told me it was best to sleep with your head towards the east or the north on her planet. She had been sleeping the other way the previous night.

Maybe she was disoriented when she went to lie down in the evening.

If I had the energy, I would have shaken my head. As it was, I sat there, hoping to conserve the water left in my body.

Kenna stirred. My heart skipped a beat when she opened those beautiful brown eyes and looked right at me. Then she smiled, and I held my breath. If only I could watch her wake up every day, I would ask for nothing more. By The Three, she was lovely.

"Dar," she said. "I had the weirdest dream."

She was speaking, and it wasn't difficult for her. Wasn't her mouth parched and dry with thirst?

I blinked.

"Hey, I'm talking. And I don't feel thirsty."

I tilted my head a little. What was going on?

"Shit." Her eyes got wide. "Maybe it wasn't a dream. I thought I was dreaming. Oh no. If it wasn't a dream, I believe I insulted your mother. Is it a capital offense to call the queen a bitch?"

She put her hand to her mouth, and she giggled. It was good to see her feeling well again. It had killed me to watch her getting weak.

The she stopped laughing and sighed.

"If it wasn't a dream, then I better tell you what she said. The queen has offered us a solution."

I just looked at her, not having the energy to do more. Sitting up had taken everything out of me.

She looked worried at my condition.

"She said I had three hours to decide. I hope it's been almost three hours. You look like hell, Dar. You need some water. I feel guilty being so hydrated."

I shook my head a little bit.

"I want to get some water for you, too."

I just looked at her.

"Right, the dream. This conversation will be boring if I do all the talking. I dreamed that angels in white picked me up and got me out of here. The angels were probably doctors."

I gave a tiny nod.

"I woke up, and your mother was there. She was sitting in a chair wearing yellow again. I felt all dirty and ugly next to her."

Yes, my mother tended to have that effect on people. I tried to convey this with a blank stare.

"She said that she had a change of heart. She wants us to get married."

I managed a grunt. I was surprised.

"Exactly! That's what I thought!" Kenna said. "She said she hadn't expected you to refuse to give me up. She said she didn't want to hurt you. She loves you and was trying to protect you."

I closed my eyes. So my mother didn't hate me enough to kill me. Thank The Three. That had been eating at me since we had been arrested.

"So, to get off this fucking platform...we just have to get married."

I opened my eyes again. And what did she think about that?

I lifted one eyebrow a little.

"I still...I don't know, Dar. I'm not going to say it until I'm sure. But I would do anything to see you well again."

Her eyes filled with tears. She must be hydrated to have enough water in her to make tears.

Would she do anything? Even marry me, when she wasn't sure if she loved me? That didn't seem like a good reason to get married.

"Oh, except there's just one thing. I have to have citizenship."

My mother had deceived Kenna, of course.

I didn't realize that it was possible, but I became more still than before. Did she need citizenship to marry me? But that would mean she had to go through the ritual and become Susohnnan. My mother looked like she was magnanimous, saying that she wanted us to get married. Probably thinking that Kenna would never agree to the ritual or that I would never let her agree. That way she gets off looking like a kind person while still getting her way.

"What? I can handle the scarring, Dar. I'm stronger than I look."

I was sure she was strong. But could she endure the ritual? Would she want to? That was another question altogether.

KENNA

Dar finally regained consciousness after hours of IVs and being forced to consume more fluids. When he opened his eyes and gave me one of his sweet half-smiles, I experienced an incredible feeling of relief.

The queen's hovercraft had come for my decision. When I agreed to her terms, she took Dar directly to the palace. His private doctors attended to him, but it had been a close call. I had been rehydrated several hours before him. And those extra few hours he had to endure without water had come close to doing him in.

I had been afraid, watching him for the past couple hours and wondering if he would ever wake up again. It would be ridiculous to have died in his country after everything he had survived from the terrorists.

The first thing that came out of his mouth was Kenna.

I couldn't stop smiling.

All I could say was "Dar." Feeling shaky, I got up on his enormous bed with him. I needed to feel him and know that he was here with me, alive and well. I had come close to losing him.

I wrapped my arms around his body and fought back tears. He seemed weak. I supposed he would need more recovery time until he was back to normal.

"You almost died," I said, unable to think of anything else. I lifted my head and looked into his eyes, trying not to cry.

"But I didn't. Thanks to you." He kissed me on the cheek. I did cry then. I couldn't help it, I had been anxious. After a moment, I regained my composure. We weren't out of the woods yet.

"So, your mother wants us to get married as soon as possible."

"Kenna," he said. "I don't think you understand what you're being asked to do. Has no one explained the ritual to you?"

"No." I felt nervous now. What was with this ritual? Was it that horrific? I hoped it didn't involve genital mutilation. Oh boy, let me not have got myself in over my head. Please let me be strong enough to do whatever it is I have to do to save us.

"It is a test of The Three."

"Who are these three that you're always swearing to?" I said.

"The Three aren't a who. They are a what. They are the pillars upon which we built our civilization. Knowledge. Strength. Respect. The ritual tests all in an individual. Kenna, it is one thing to be born into this culture and be thinking about the ritual for your entire life. It is quite another to ask an off-worlder to do the same. I will understand if you change your mind. My mother deliberately didn't tell you."

"Are you saying that no off-worlders have ever got Susohnnan citizenship?" I said. I bit my lip, not sure if I was that much of a pioneer.

"There has been a handful."

"If they could do it, so can I," I said, trying to feel as brave as my words. His eyes softened.

"The ritual is usually endured at around the age of twenty-four when our brain has completely matured. That is the age of majority on Susohn: twenty-four. You are not considered an adult until you complete the ritual. But some people put it off for up to five years."

"What if they don't complete it?"

"You mean die during the completion? Yes, some do. And some just don't come back."

That hadn't been what I meant. Some people died?

"Not many, Kenna," he said. He looked a little worried now.

"I meant, what if they choose not to complete the ritual. Like they don't do it at all."

Dar had a puzzled expression on his face. "Then they are exiled. You cannot be Susohnnan without the ritual. If you refuse to complete it, then you are not Susohnnan, no matter where you were born," he said, with a shrug. "The two are inseparable."

"Harsh," I said, feeling very nervous now about what I had agreed to. "For such a peaceful race, you sure are hard on people."

"Strength is one of the pillars of our civilization, Kenna. We cannot have weak members. That said, we have only exiled six or seven in the past thousand years. It's not like we're sending them off in droves."

"I've agreed to marry you. What happens if I refuse to complete the ritual?"

"You'll be sent off-world."

"And you?"

"I'll be put back on the platform. The crown offered an agreement, and we reneged on it."

"Your mother said if I refused you couldn't be saved a second time. That means that you would die."

"Maybe. Maybe not. You never know."

I knew. He was trying to offer me an out. At the cost of his life. No. I could do it if they could, right? I wasn't less than a Susohnnan.

"Just tell me about this fucking ritual, Dar. Not knowing is killing me."

"It sounds simple, but the execution is not."

"Just tell me," I said, feeling impatient.

"It is the most challenging experience you will ever have in your life."

I drew in a deep breath. I could do this.

"There is a place on Susohn, an hour's ride away. It is a place of legend and myth. Here is where our reality and other realities converge. A spot where this universe and all the others overlap, as predicted by quantum theory."

"Like a rip in the space-time continuum?" I said.

"Something like that."

"And it's dangerous?"

"Of course. You must face your greatest fear. You must give up what you most want to keep. And you must release everything you think you know about yourself. If you can do this, it makes you stronger. It is what decides whether our people are Susohnnan or not. Those who cannot either die, go insane, or are exiled."

I stared at him, frowning.

"You must cross this place." He swallowed, and I saw his Adam's apple bob up and down. "And if you make it..."

If I made it?

"Then you will be scarred with the triangle of The Three. We officially record you as a citizen of Susohn, and you will gain all the rights and responsibilities that go along with that privilege."

I snorted quietly at that. I didn't consider being a Susohnnan a privilege but more of a cross to bear. Still, I wouldn't tell him that because I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. I would do anything to protect him — even this.

"When the ritual is complete, you will be given citizenship. And we can be married. But look, Kenna. I don't want to marry you like this."

I felt an unexpected stab of pain go through me.

"You don't want to marry me? What do you mean? But you said..." I felt inexplicably hurt by his admission.

"No, I didn't mean that. I mean, I do want to marry you." He closed his eyes. "More than you could ever know. But not like this. Not when you're not sure if you want to marry me. Not when you're doing it for reasons out of your control. I want you to be willing."

He dropped his eyes.

"I don't want a bride forced onto me. I have more pride than that."

I put a finger under his chin and made him look up. Then I kissed him with everything I was feeling in my heart. I kissed him until the monitors started beeping. When the doctor poked his head in, Dar shooed him away.

"Does that seem like I'm just doing it for reasons out of my control?" I said, still a little breathless.

"Kenna, you know what I mean..."

I interrupted him, looking him in the eye so he would know that I meant what I said.

"If I'm marrying you, Dar, it's because I am willing. It's because I want to. Not for any other reason."

That's when she walked into the room. And Dar didn't shoo her away.

DAR

"Mana!" I said, grabbing her in a big hug and holding her tightly. I had been afraid that she had perished with the others on Dobu after the terrorist attack.

She hugged me back for a moment, then pushed me away. We were on the clock, and she was all business. If we had been by ourselves and not working, I knew she would have hugged me longer. When I glanced at Kenna, she was looking at me oddly.

"Kenna, I would like you to meet Mana. She is my oldest friend and my Senior Advisor."

Kenna looked back and forth between us.

She wouldn't be feeling jealous, would she? She didn't even know if she loved me.

"Nice to meet you, Mana," Kenna said, remembering to make the sign of The Three.

"It's nice to meet you, too," Mana said. She was watching the two of us as carefully as Kenna had been watching Mana and I. Jared had entered the room with Mana. He hung back, but Kenna pulled him forward. We both hugged him. We were glad to see him again.

A few minutes later, we were seated in a hovercraft and heading to where the ritual was to begin.

"We thought you would die, Dar. If the queen came to power again, the terrorists might never be vanquished," Mana said as we rode along smoothly a few feet above the sand. "We felt we needed to act quickly on your plan."

The four of us sat in the hovercraft — Mana, Jared, Kenna, and I.

I sat next to Kenna on one couch. We were holding hands, enjoying the feeling of touching each other. On the other side, Mana and Jared sat, one on each end of their bench.

"You did it?" I asked, amazed that they could remove this thorn from my side easily and quickly.

"Yep," Jared said. He wore typical Susohnnan clothing — the loose baggy pants that we favored and a button up shirt, both made from a plant that produces very soft fabric. He seemed comfortable.

"You assassinated Mackeye?"

He shifted in his seat, looking less comfortable when I said that but he glanced at Mana and then nodded.

"We did."

"We destroyed them from the inside out," Mana said. "Many were killed accidentally from the explosion and Jared sorted the ones that were left, making them much easier to dispose of."

"Sorted?" Kenna asked, confused.

"The ones that had been forced to serve, guys like me. They were set free and sent wherever they wanted to go."

"The rest were placed in individual pods. We sent them to the most hostile planets and space stations we could. They will be penniless and without identification. They will be so busy surviving that they will not be able to think about reassembling," Mana said.

"You also put that band on them, Mana," Jared reminded her. "That was brilliant."

She smiled a little and blushed, not looking at Jared. I froze. I looked at Jared and then at Mana. Was there something going on between them? Nah. Mana hadn't dated anyone in all the time I had known her.

"What bands?" Kenna said.

"There are bands, much like citizenship and passport bands, that all planets in the galaxy have. These tags can be set to indicate almost anything — but I would imagine that you set them to dangerous criminal and possibly something to do with hurting children?"

I looked to Mana for confirmation. She nodded.

"People wearing those bands don't usually last too long before some righteous person takes them out."

"For such a peaceful race, you guys are kind of sneaky and a little mean," Kenna said.

"The terrorist threat is dealt with," I said, ignoring Kenna's insult. I could hardly believe that it was possible, but Mana would never lie to me. "Thank you so much, Jared, Mana. You will receive the order of The Three, the highest medal on Susohn for acts of courage."

Jared smiled a little.

"Thank you, sir."

"Dar, just call me Dar. I appreciate what you have done more than you can imagine, you two."

But Mana was not happy. She was frowning.

"Your majesty, I was doing my job. I do not deserve a medal."

Jared snorted.

"I beg to differ, Mana."

"Be quiet, Jared," she said, her eyes shooting daggers at him.

"No way. Not after what you did for me and those men."

"Jared," she said in a warning tone.

"She went above and beyond what was required for her job, Dar," Jared said. "Did you notice she was limping a little?"

I looked at Mana's leg that was covered by her long skirt. I hadn't noticed anything. And I chastised myself for being so caught up with Kenna and everything that was happening in my crazy life that I hadn't noticed that my best friend was hurt.

"Mackeye got mad when we showed up on his space station with a bunch of people conscripted into serving with the terrorists. Some of the ones we freed were so angry they wanted to help us take down the whole organization."

I nodded.

"Mackeye pulled a gun and was going to blast all of us. We had been disarmed, of course. But Mana knew I had one gun hidden away."

"They disarmed you and missed one?" Kenna said skeptically.

"This one was in an odd place that they don't usually check."

"Ew," Kenna said.

"Not there, sweetie," he said. "In my ear."

"Oh," she said, with evident relief. I grinned at her, amused.

"Mana kept him talking, gradually moving closer and closer to him until she within range."

"How?" Kenna said, looking incredulous.

Jared got an admiring look on his face, and he looked Mana over in a way that made me feel protective.

"Mana can be quite charming when she wants to be."

I glanced back at Mana, wondering what was going on. She was just staring at her hands that she was clasping and unclasping in her lap. Her cheeks had two red burning red spots on them.

"We're all — including Mackeye — mesmerized by her and then she surprises us all by suddenly jumping him and sweeping the gun down. He fired and the shot ricocheted, hitting her in the leg. During this distraction, I got my gun out and shot him dead. The rest was easy."

"Mana," I said.

"I just did what I had to do, Dar. You would have done the same," she said, looking up at me.

I didn't say anything. There was no use talking to her when she wore her work hat. I wouldn't get anything out of her.

"Well, I thank you again, for your loyal service to the crown."

She just nodded once.

Our hovercraft touched down. Kenna looked nervous as she said goodbye to Jared and Mana and then turned to me.

"You understand what you have to do?" I said, squeezing her hand.

"I just have to walk across the space-time tear without losing my mind or disappearing or dying. When I make it across, I get scarred. Then I'm in the Susohnnan club. Yippee." She rolled her eyes. "I've got it, Dar."

I pulled her to me, kissing her like it was for the last time because really, it might be. Not everyone made it out of the ritual with themselves, their sanity, or even their body. When we finally pulled apart, we were both drawing in ragged breaths. Jared was smiling, and Mana was looking uncomfortable.

"So it's like that, is it?" Jared said to me.

"Yeah, it's like that," I said, then turned back to Kenna. "I will see you when you finish. I have faith in you. You're stronger than you look, remember?"

"Right. Right." She nodded resolutely and walked out.

As the hovercraft pulled away, I looked out the window, waving. My sheeranla waved back, a smile hiding her worry. I watched as she got smaller and smaller and finally disappeared. I tried to ignore the fear in my gut.

I would see her again. I had to.

I didn't know if I could live without her anymore.

KENNA

I looked across the desert to the oasis on the other side.

I just had to walk across.

It couldn't be that bad, could it? Surely they were exaggerating just a little bit?

The second of their suns had gone down, and the shadows were lengthening. I shivered as the unbearable heat of the day started to shift to the chill of desert night.

I was wearing the loose pants that the Susohnnan favored — white — but they were different than most. There was a large piece of fabric missing from the outside of both legs. From my waist to my knees on both sides my hips were bare.

It felt weird.

On top, I was wearing a blouse that buttoned up tightly across my front. There was a large panel cut out of the back and a diamond cut out of the front baring me from breast to navel. I wondered what the deal was with exposed skin on this planet.

The sand before me was empty and no different from any other bit of land around here. I didn't see any tear in the space-time continuum unless it was a rock.

So why was my heart beating so fast?

I thought about Dar. I imagined him back on the platform above the volcano, growing weaker and weaker until he went into a coma. I imagined his pale appearance while I had waited for him to come around. I wondered if life left his body.

The idea upset me so much that I felt courage rising inside of me.

I would do anything for him.

Whatever was ahead of me was nothing compared to losing Dar. I would not lose him.

I squared my shoulders, took a deep breath, and took my first step towards the oasis. Nothing. I felt nothing at all. Maybe this place wouldn't be the same for me because I was human and not Susohnnan.

This would be easier for me than they thought.

I continued to walk as the darkness descended, and the stars came out. Lights came on in the oasis, and I knew that Dar, Mana, and Jared were waiting there for me. They were my only friends and family out here.

As soon as I thought of family, I realized something changed.

A fog rose up from the desert floor. Uh oh. I could barely see the light from the oasis. I walked towards it.

Then I froze as a couple appeared before me. I stared at them. I knew them only from pictures.

My parents.

A little girl toddled up to them. She was smiling and so happy. The man picked her up and the mother put her arms around both of them. Love surrounded the little girl. I felt my eyes fill with tears.

The little girl was me. I had seen the pictures of the three of us before they had died. Gran had one on the mantle in the house where I had grown up.

Tears poured down my cheeks. I began to walk towards them. I needed to be a part of that family. I needed someone to love me unconditionally again. As I grew nearer, they began to fade.

"No," I cried out. My heart broke, and it felt like I was losing them all over again.

"No!" I screamed again. They disappeared altogether. My hands curled into fists as I sank to the sand. I felt broken. I was a little girl who had just lost her whole world. I cried and cried. My grief would never end.

I looked up when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder.

"Gran," I said, amazed to see her again. "Gran, I missed you so much."

"I know, sweet bug," she said. "You miss them too, right?"

"Mom and Dad?" I said, feeling the gaping hole in my heart.

She nodded.

"Yes. They were just here, Gran. And now they're gone again," I felt my voice break. "And I don't know how I can live without them, Granny. I don't think I can."

Gran pulled me into her arms and held me. Her scent comforted me, and I was finally able to stop crying.

"Why are you here, darling?" she said when I calmed down. "You haven't died, have you, sweet bug? You're too young. I didn't expect to see you for a long time yet."

"No, Gran. I'm not dead...it's a little complicated."

Gran looked at me expectantly.

"It's a Susohnnan ritual," I said, biting my lip, not sure how she would react. I didn't know what her opinion of the Susohnnan was.

"Oh, I've heard of that. The one where they get the scar?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"I wasn't always just a backwoods old lady with a garden, Kenna."

"I never said you were," I protested.

She smiled at me.

"Why are you doing their ritual?" she said, getting to the heart of the matter.

I licked my dry lips.

"To save someone."

"To save someone." she repeated. "Is it a special someone?"

"His name is Dar."

Her eyebrows nearly touched her hairline.

"What do you have to do?" she said.

"I have to get across this little patch of desert. But it's like the Twilight Zone here, which is how I can talk to you, I guess."

"Doesn't sound like much of a ritual," Gran said.

"Well, he said that I would have to face what I'm most afraid of, give up what I most want to keep, and let go of everything I think I know about myself."

"Oh," Gran said, and she seemed to shimmer.

"What, Gran?"

"Well, the first one's easy."

"What? What is it that I'm most afraid of, Gran?"

"Losing him, the way you lost us. You're scared that if you love him, he'll die too."

"No. That's not why..."

"Have you told him how you feel?"

"No, but that's not the reason."

"Are you sure?"

I gazed into Gran's eyes, and I saw nothing but love. It was the same expression that I had seen on Dar's face. Was I afraid of losing him? Is that why I didn't want to let myself love him?

I stared down at the sand.

"It almost killed me to lose you, Gran. I do care about him. And I couldn't go through that again."

"You're going to give up all the joy that loving him could bring you to protect yourself from something that might never happen?" she said, looking more transparent every moment.

"Gran, don't leave me."

"I will never leave you, sweet bug. I am always with you. Make your decisions based on love and not fear."

"Gran," I said. "Please don't go."

"I'm not gone."

"Don't leave me alone again, Granny. Please," I was crying again. I couldn't help it. I was supposed to be strong, but I was reliving the worst things that had ever happened to me.

"Kenna, love. You aren't alone anymore."

She smiled at me and then disappeared. I felt the grief of losing her again, and it was suffocating. I don't know how long I sat there in the sand with my hands over my face, sobbing.

I forced myself to get up and keep walking. The fog was thick and it was dark. I couldn't see the light from the oasis anymore, but I hoped I was going in the right direction.

Suddenly I was in my kitchen in my old apartment on Earth, wearing my favorite sweats and a tank top. I looked around me. The date on the calendar was one day before this all started. Tomorrow I would see the show on the news that had explained about the project that would bring me to Dobu, where I had met Dar.

I wandered around my apartment picking things up, then putting them down. I knew what was happening. I was been given a chance to go back.

I could just stay here and not have to go through all the hardships and troubles I endured since I left this place. I had a feeling that if I went to bed and woke up tomorrow, I wouldn't remember anything.

I would never have to escape from a building that was being bombed. I would never have to run away from a wildfire. I would never have my life threatened. I would never be made to feel like the dirt on a Susohnnan queen's boot.

I could just stay here and avoid it all. I would be safe here. I sat down on the couch and pulled my favorite blanket around me. I could be comfortable here. I snuggled into the corner where I always liked to sit. This life could be enough.

There was no adventure here; that was true. But I didn't need it. There were no new things to see and do here, but I didn't need new things now. I needed things that made me feel safe. Things that didn't challenge me. I needed situations that would never demand anything of me.

And there was no love here, but I didn't need love.

At that thought, I shook my head, looking around at my apartment.

No. That wasn't true anymore. I did need love. I needed Dar.

His voice came back to me.

"You must give up what you most want to keep."

Is this what I most wanted to keep? The safety and comfort of my isolation? Is that what I wanted?

And when I thought that, I suddenly knew that I didn't want that anymore. There might have been a time when this life had been enough, but I was past that now.

"I don't want this," I said.

Nothing happened.

I raised my voice. "I don't want this."

The room started to fade.

"I don't want this!" I yelled, and my voice echoed through the apartment, right before the illusion shattered into a thousand pieces.

And I was back on the sand.

I could see the light of the oasis faintly again.

I stood there, staring at that pale pinpoint of light. I was breathing heavily, and I swallowed. That had been close. That had been way too close.

The thought that I might have stayed there and gone to sleep and woken up back in my old life, never having known Dar, made me sick to my stomach.

No matter what happened, I never wanted to forget him. Even if we separated from each other. Even if we never ended up together.

I would never want to forget him. Ever.

Suddenly I longed for him, and I called out his name across the sands.

"Dar!"

And just like that, reality shifted.

"Kenna?"

It was Dar.

I was in his room. His appearance was different. His hair color was fading, and he looked a little thicker around the middle.

I smiled and went to him.

He didn't open his arms to me as I had expected.

I stopped, not understanding.

"Kenna? Is that you?"

"Of course it's me. What do you mean?"

"It's been so long."

"So long? You just dropped me off on the desert. Remember?"

He blinked, a shocked look on his face. Then his features contorted with such grief that my heart nearly stopped.

"Why do you look like that?"

"I haven't seen you in ten years, Kenna."

"What?" I stared at him.

"Do you remember that some people never come back from the ritual?"

"Yeah."

"You never came back."

"But I did. I didn't stay in my old apartment. I didn't. It all shattered. I want to be here. With you."

"The Three save me..." he muttered. He was interrupted by a little girl about seven years old running into the room. She grabbed him around the legs, looking at me shyly.

"Who's that?" I said, trying to understand what was happening.

He leaned down and picked her up. She tucked her head into his shoulder.

"This is my daughter. Her name is Kenna." His voice cracked, and I could see that he was close to breaking down.

"When you didn't come back, it nearly destroyed me. The only person who stood by me was Salya. She got me through it, Kenna. I would have died without her. She's a good woman. She's still jealous, but she has a good heart. She's not the queen that you would have made. She does her best."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "No. I did it. I passed the test. This shouldn't be happening."

I couldn't figure it out. Where had I gone wrong?

Dar shook his head, looking at me sadly.

"If you're here, Kenna. Then you didn't pass. Remember what I told you?"

"Yes, yes. I faced what I was most afraid of — letting myself love you and then losing you. I gave up what I most wanted to keep. That was my safe, comfortable life back home. My isolation. The life that was keeping me secure but was also keeping me from my highest potential. I see that now. I see all of it. I did it, Dar. I swear."

"But the last one, Kenna."

"The last one..." I stared at the girl with my name, trying to remember. What had the last one been?

"The last trial is that you must release everything you think you know about yourself," he said, gently.

"What does that mean? How do I do that?"

"I don't know, but if you're here..."

"Then this must have something to do with it. Right. Will you help me, Dar? Maybe it's not too late. Maybe I can still get back to you. I can change this."

Dar shook his head, not meeting my eyes.

"I'm afraid not, Kenna. I can't help you. The ritual is something that you must walk alone."

Just then a woman came through the door. She was tall, with long legs. Her beautiful face registered surprise at seeing me there and then shock.

"Is that Kenna?" she said, staring at me.

"Yes. She failed the ritual. It caught her," Dar said. "You mustn't be jealous, love. That's all in the past."

Salya looked at him in fury.

"In the past? In the past? When every time I call my daughter's name I am reminded of another woman?"

"Perhaps that wasn't the best idea." Dar looked pained.

"Leave us in peace!" she said to me. "You stole him from me before. But he's mine now. You will never have him. Never. And you will never be queen. I rule over Susohn. A human slut could never do what I have done. You are a tramp and a home-wrecker. I will not have you here. Get out!" she shrieked and ran at me.

I didn't try to run away, but I held up my hands to protect myself from her blows. She got a good punch in and knocked me to the floor. I place a hand over my eye. God, that ached. But my heart ached more, knowing that I would have made him a good wife. Our life wouldn't have been perfect, but it would have been honest.

I would have made a good queen, no matter where I was born. I knew that now.

I would have loved him.

I did love him.

I knew that now, too, now that it was ten years too late.

Dar pulled her off of me and dragged her from the room. He was back in a moment.

"Kenna? Are you all right?"

He took my hand to help me to my feet, but it passed right through mine.

"What?" he said, confused.

A wind began to blow.

"I love you, Dar. I know that now. And I will make a good queen. I know that, too. I'm not just some lowly human without worth. I am a powerful woman. And I know what I want. And what I need."

He stared at me, eyes wide.

"And what's that?"

"You."

"Me?"

"I have to go."

The wind in the room was whipping my hair around my face so that I could hardly see.

"Kenna, wait."

"No, Dar. I can't wait any longer. I need to get back to you. I need to tell you. Before this comes to pass."

"But it has already come to pass, Kenna. It's too late."

He tried to take my hand again, and he passed through me.

The wind was spinning, and then the room was spinning. Dar looked around him, in confusion.

"No, it's not too late. You're the one who doesn't exist anymore, Dar, because I'm making a different choice."

"Kenna," he said, desperately. "Don't leave me again. I can't stand it."

"I'm not leaving you. I'm going to find you. We are going to have those ten years together. Have faith."

The room spun out of existence, and I was back on the desert. A sandstorm was forming, but somehow the light of the oasis was much closer than before. I felt like I was almost there.

I had faced my greatest fear. I had given up that which I most wanted to keep. And I had let go of everything I thought I knew about myself. What more could there be to do? I had done everything he had said.

The wind blew harder and whipped my braid around my head, lashing me. The sand began to sting as it hit my exposed hips and arms.

Within seconds, the pain from the sandstorm became intense. I couldn't see anything. I had my eyes shut tight so as not to get sand in them. I kept my mouth closed too, to prevent dust from entering. I held my hand over my nose, allowing just enough space to breathe.

After going through all that, I was going to die in a fucking sandstorm. I felt emotionally numb. I couldn't take any more. And the physical pain was so excruciating that I honestly thought I was going to die.

When I felt a sudden burst of pain from my left hip, I keeled over. It was too much.

I fell on the ground and let death take me. I had nothing left.

Everything went black.

DAR

Where was Kenna? It had been a whole day, and she hadn't shown up anywhere. I could look over the desert to her drop-off spot, but there was no sign of her.

Sometimes the people going through the ritual never came back. I stared out across the sand, feeling as desolate as the lonely winds that blew across these dunes.

Kenna would come back.

Of course she would.

She had to.

It would kill me if she didn't.

I spun around to go back to the oasis, where Mana and Jared and I were waiting for her, and almost ran straight into Salya.

"Dar," she said in a sultry voice. "It's good to see you."

"Don't expect me to be joyful to see you, Salya. I know it was you who turned us in."

I went to go around her but she blocked me and fell into step beside me.

"I did it for your sake, Dar. You deserve better than some..." I turned towards her and the look in my eye must have worried her a bit because she stopped speaking.

I kept walking back towards the oasis, eager to get away from her.

"I can be a good wife, Dar. I would make you happy. I would make a good queen. We could have seven babies together."

"No we couldn't."

She stopped walking, while I continued on.

"What if she never returns?" she called out to my back.

I froze. Then I walked quickly back to her until we were face to face.

"Kenna will come back. Get out of here. I can't stand to look at you."

She didn't follow me as I made it to the trees and was swallowed up by the foliage. But I heard her voice drifting after me.

"You will when she doesn't come back. Someday you will look at me again. And you will see your future."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

No. She was wrong. Kenna would come back. She would have completed the ritual.

She would still be sane.

Two days later, I began to lose hope. I tried not to show it to Mana and Jared, but they talked with each other.

"Mana, why is it taking so long? Does it usually take this long?" I heard Jared's voice coming through the vegetation. I had climbed a tree to watch for her. It was more comfortable than standing on the hot sands. When I twisted around, I could see them sitting on a bench in the center of the oasis.

"I told you, Jay."

Jay? She was calling him Jay?

"Usually they're back the same day. Being gone so long is unheard of."

"Except," he said, leaning back and putting his arm along the back of the bench. She sat forward so that he wasn't touching her.

"What do you mean?" she said.

"I hear something at the end of that sentence. Something you're not saying, Mana. Being gone so long is unheard of, except..."

She huffed out her breath, and I grinned at the look on her face. I was surprised he could read her so well already. I wasn't the only one with a flicker of hope.

"It's unheard of except for royalty. Dar took five days. His mother and father were each three."

"But Kenna's not royalty."

"Exactly. That's why she's probably not coming back." Mana glanced at him and then away. "Some of them don't come back, Jared. It's just how the ritual works. Some people refuse — and we exile them. Some people go insane. Some people die. And some just don't come back at all."

"So, why did you let her do it if you knew she might not come back?" Jared got up and started to pace.

"She had to, Jay."

"No," I could hear the pain in his voice as he tallied up another friend lost. "She didn't. She did it for him. And now she's gone. It's not fair."

"It is fair. She had to do it. And you're not to blame Dar, I know you can hear us." Mana said. She was defending me, as always. She beat up a lot of kids at school standing up for me. She was a powerful woman.

Jared sat down on the bench again with his face in his hands.

"I don't blame, Dar," came his muffled voice. "I blame myself."

There was no doubt he was crying behind his hands. I looked on in amazement as Mana put her arms around him, and he cried on her shoulder. I hope they'll be good for each other...

Then my smile dropped as I completed the thought.

...like Kenna and I were.

There was still no sign of Kenna.

"We have to go back to the city," Mana said, putting her hand on my shoulder. It was the sixth day, and everyone else had lost hope of Kenna ever returning.

"I know," I said. "I know. Just a couple more hours, Mana."

"Dar, man, you've got to give it up. It isn't healthy. We should go back to the palace. You can get cleaned up and have a decent meal." Jared said, trying to turn me away from where I was staring at the sand. I was willing her to appear.

"Yeah, okay," I said, not looking at them. "You guys take the first hovercraft, and I'll be right after you."

"You swear?" Mana said. "Dar, look at me."

I turned my head and tried to focus on her face.

"Do you swear you'll come back in a couple hours, no matter what?"

I nodded.

"I swear."

They looked at each other and then looked back at me.

"Okay. We'll see you there."

"Right," I said, looking back out at the sand.

I wasn't going to see them there.

If she didn't appear, I was going to kill myself because it was better than living without her.

Once the sound of their hovercraft had disappeared, I sank to the sand and took out my knife. I knew where to stab an artery that would empty all my blood on the sand in minutes.

The knife and I stared at each other as the sun glinted off the metal. As I looked at the blade longer, it seemed out of place. It asked me if I should contemplate taking my life. I knew I wouldn't be able to lose Kenna. Death was the way out of my pain, waiting to help me the moment I admitted that she was gone.

A low rumble came from the desert.

I blinked in surprise. Something was happening. Without warning, a sandstorm was coming up. I jumped to my feet, snapping the knife shut and shoving it back in my pocket.

Instinctively, I ran for the oasis. It was what I had been taught to do ever since I had learned to walk. The trees would protect me from the sand.

Then I realized that I didn't want to be protected, and I stopped. I walked back out into the sand, embracing nature's rage.

Sandstorms on my planet arise suddenly and without any warning. Many people caught outside an oasis during a sandstorm succumb within minutes.

That was what I wanted. I wouldn't need the knife. The sandstorm would do the deed for me.

I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I could barely breathe. I filled with sand, and I felt nothing but happiness. I knew I would die out here in the desert with her. Soon we would be together again, and I wouldn't have to go through my whole life missing her.

I tried to draw another breath but inhaled sand. I tried again and lost consciousness.

KENNA

I must be dead.

That was my first conscious thought - I couldn't possibly have survived that sandstorm.

I had hoped that being dead would be pain-free. Apparently not.

Wait. If I'm in this much pain, maybe I'm not dead.

After what seemed like forever, I managed to get my eyes open. They were gritty, but they still worked. The two suns were just rising over the desert. With difficulty, I sat up and tried to remember what had happened.

I remembered Dar dropping me off to complete the ritual...

I had failed.

I remembered seeing Dar in his life with Salya.

The thought made me sick to my stomach, and the anger gave me the strength to stand.

No. I could not fail. It was up to me to save Dar. No one else could do it.

I began to walk but the pain in my leg made it difficult. I dragged my left leg and struggled on. I could see the oasis. It couldn't be that far, I just had to get there. I would not give up.

As I limped, keeping my eyes on the greenery ahead of me, I saw something stirring on the sand. As I approached, I realized it was a person.

I wondered why someone would be sleeping out here on the sand, instead of in a proper bed.

That's when I recognized it was Dar, and I started to run, hobbling as best I could.

DAR

I wasn't dead. As I tried to sit up, I heard my name being called. I pried open my eyes and saw a woman, her skirt in rags, hobbling towards me as fast as she could.

Then my eyes came into focus and I saw that it was Kenna.

She had made it.

My heart pounded. I got to my feet, fell and scrambled up again. I felt unsteady, but I moved towards her as quickly as I could.

I needed to feel her in my arms and know that she had come back to me.

"Dar," she said, falling towards me.

I tried to catch her but I was too weak, and we fell to the ground together, clinging to each other in a sandy embrace.

"Kenna," I said, covering her face with kisses.

I held her to me so tightly that she squirmed a bit, and I let up a little.

"I never thought I'd see you again," I said. "I had given up hope."

"Dar, I have to tell you something."

I searched her eyes, smoothing her messy hair out of her face. Sand covered her, and she had a black eye, but I felt that I had never seen a more beautiful woman in my life.

"You can tell me anything," I said.

"I love you so much." She put her head on my shoulder and started to cry. "I'm sorry I never told you before. I love you. I love you."

She kissed me.

"I love you."

She gazed at me in desperation.

"Do you hear me?" she said. "Please say I'm not too late."

"Too late?" I stared at her, not quite believing that she was finally saying it. "I would wait a lifetime to hear you say that if I had to," I said.

We kissed again, and it was different this time.

"Kenna, we have to get you to a doctor."

"No," she said. "The scarring. You have to scar me, Dar, or it will all have been for nothing."

"Kenna, I can't."

"You have to. Where's your pocket knife?" She reached into the pocket in my pants.

"It's not even sterilized," I protested.

"Just do it, Dar," she said. "We can clean it when we get back."

I pulled the knife reluctantly out of my pocket and unsheathed it.

She bared her hip, and we both stared.

A bright red wound in the shape of a triangle was on her pale white skin.

We stared at each other for a long moment.

"What the hell happened to you out there, Kenna?" I said, slowly putting my knife away.

"A lot," she said. "A ton. But we have a lifetime for me to tell you the whole story, Dar."

"You're right, my love. Because we're going to be together now." We stood up on wobbly legs and gazed at each other before we made our way towards the oasis.

Kenna smiled and nodded.

"Yes, Dar. We are going to be together now. Nothing and no one in the whole universe are going to keep us apart."

KENNA

I walked into the ballroom on Dar's arm and glanced nervously at my gown. It was a dark forest green and hugged my curves. There were oval panels cut out on the back, the front, and my left hip, displaying my newly healed triangular scar. I hoped the bruise on my cheek had faded enough that people wouldn't notice it.

"Relax, you look beautiful," Dar said, surveying the crowd and not looking at me. "Especially your scar."

I looked down but couldn't see it without twisting my head around. I was so proud of that damned scar. I had almost died to get it, but when I looked at Dar, standing beside me so strong and healthy, I knew it had been worth it.

And he was so fucking handsome in his Susohnnan formal wear that I wanted to drag him back to our room and keep him in bed for the next day and a half.

We had spent a long time resting and healing, but we were both fully recovered now. The ball was to celebrate Mana and Jared getting the order of The Three for their courage in defeating the terrorist threat — or that's what the invitation had read, anyhow.

When Dar's mother heard that I had survived the ritual and was now Susohnnan, she left for their southern estate and hadn't been back since. But she couldn't ignore this. The terrorist problem had been a top priority of the Susohnnan government for years.

Dar sent a message saying that we had no hard feelings and were willing to forgive. He told her we wanted to see her, and it was partially correct.

To be honest, I wasn't sure if I had forgiven her for what she had done to me. Even more, I wasn't sure if I could forgive her for what she had done to Dar. The way she broke his heart might be irreparable. He had discovered a terrible truth about his mother.

But I WANTED to forgive her. I hoped that I would be able to soon.

I knew that holding a grudge only hurts the one who holds it. It only eats away at the one who has the anger and bitterness inside. I knew this intellectually but emotionally, I still couldn't let go of my resentment.

"Do you see her?" I said. We were about to descend from the lofty heights of a set of stairs into a sea of finely dressed bodies.

"No," he said, and I couldn't tell if he was sorry or relieved.

"What about Mana and Jared?"

"Funny how you say their names like they're a couple," Dar said, looking down and meeting my eyes.

"Not yet, maybe," I said. "But you wait. They're always together."

"She's my Senior Advisor, and I've just made him Head of Security. They are designing a new plan to keep Susohn safe. They have to work closely together."

"Yes," I said, grinning. "But the question is, how closely are they working together?"

"Hm," Dar said. "There they are."

"Together?" I said, gloating a little because I could see on his face that they were.

"Perhaps."

I lifted my eyebrows at him. His face broke into a smile, and he laughed aloud, drawing the attention of some dignitaries who smiled and made the sign of The Three.

"Come on," he said.

"Why aren't we making the sign of The Three back at them?" I whispered, still feeling out of my depth in Susohnnan protocol.

"The way they're using it now, is more like a hello and a head nod, but with respect."

"Oh," I said, wondering if I would ever figure it all out.

"You'll get it," Dar said, patting my hand as we came up to Mana and Jared.

Mana was smiling. She was smiling at something Jared had just said. I think I could count on one hand the number of times that I had seen her smile. She was wearing a black, shoulderless dress with panels cut out on the sides to reveal her smooth skin and narrow waist.

When she saw us, she automatically put on her business face. Jared saw it, and he frowned.

"Mana," Dar said and made the sign of The Three. He shook Jared's hand.

I hugged Jared and congratulated Mana. She wasn't the hugging sort, and she hadn't quite warmed up to me yet. Maybe she never would. Dar said she had always been straight-laced. She seemed to be letting her guard down with Jared, though.

Before we could get into a conversation, one of the servants came up to Dar and whispered in his ear. I saw an expression of shock before he smoothed it out into a kingly stoic expression.

"What is it?" I said. Mana and Jared were watching him too.

"My mother's here."

"The mother that had you arrested and tried to kill you?" Jared said.

"That's the one," Dar said.

Mana looked sympathetically at Dar. Then she elbowed Jared in the ribs unobtrusively, so that no one in our vicinity noticed, but hard enough to make him bend over a bit. She gave him a frown, but all he did was grin and rub his side.

"Come on," Dar said to me. "We'll see you two later."

And with that, we headed towards a private room that adjoined the ballroom, where the former queen was waiting for us.

Now that the moment was upon me, my stomach was twisted into knots. I knew I had to get over my fear of her and my anger, but I just didn't know how.

We entered the room and everything was deathly quiet.

Dar swallowed.

"Hello, Mother."

She looked at us, and I saw different emotions play across her face. Displeasure — at seeing us still together. Sorrow? Resolve? Then she brought her features under control. We moved towards her.

"Darvish," she said. "You're looking well."

"No thanks to you," I said. I was surprised to hear the words coming out of my mouth, but I couldn't restrain myself. "It took him two weeks to recover from dehydration caused by your little scheme. He almost suffocated in that sandstorm."

"Kenna," Dar said.

"What, Dar?" I said, turning to look at him. "We didn't come here for small talk. Please get to the point, your majesty."

I looked back at Dar's mother, and she had a surprised look in her eyes.

"What?" I said, taken aback by her expression. It was not hostile, as I had expected but...admiring?

"You've changed, young one."

"Yes, I have." I said, shortly. "I've heard the ritual does that to people."

She was looking at me in confusion and amazement.

"You remind me of myself when I was younger," she said.

That had been unexpected.

"Mother?" Dar said, unsure whether she was joking or not. But she didn't look like she was joking.

"And you completed the ritual?" she was speaking only to me now.

I pointed to the scar on my hip.

"And how did you find it? Was it difficult?"

"Beyond belief," I said. "I visited Dar ten years from now and he married Salya. They had a daughter named Kenna."

The old lady cackled.

"My son has never been the best at relationships. Was he happy?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"No. He told me he had never stopped loving me."

The queen stared at me.

"It must have been a hallucination."

"Your plan would have made me miserable, mother."

She looked back and forth between us.

"I wanted what was best for you, Darvish," she said. "I never thought that a human..."

"Mother," he said, in a warning tone. "She is my sheeranla. You will be respectful."

She was shocked.

"Your soul mate? Your chosen one? You're calling this female your sheeranla?"

So that's what it meant. I smiled a little.

"I am surprised," his mother said. "But you will do me the courtesy of letting me finish."

He nodded again.

"I never thought that a human would be what was best for you. But I think that I may have been incorrect."

Dar froze. His mother was apologizing and admitting that she was wrong?

"I didn't see how what you said could be true. That humans were as noble as Susohnnan. But what this female did for you, seeing you like that, must have been hell." She glanced at me, and I nodded. "And whatever else she had to go through to get her scar was just as difficult."

"A person doesn't go through something like that for someone unless they care. Unless they love them more than they love their life."

She turned to me and I held my breath.

"I know it's not official yet, Kenna, but...welcome to the family."

My mouth dropped open. She meant it.

"You're one of the finest Susohnnan I know. I trust that you'll take good care of my son's heart."

"I will madam. I will."

I bent then and kissed her cheek.

"Mother," Dar said, with a tremor in his voice. He knelt at his mother's knees and wrapped his arms around her. She hugged him back, and there were tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry for what I did, Dar. Can you ever forgive me?" she said.

"Mama…" he said. "I already have."

We were finally alone.

"I have been waiting to peel this off of you all night," Dar said as he knelt down and wiggled the tight dress down my legs. We had been making out on the couch for nearly an hour, but he was getting frustrated now, so the dress was coming off.

Underneath, I was wearing nothing but some green lacy undergarments. They were a far cry from the white cotton bra and undies that he had first taken off me when we had met on Dobu. And I was nothing like the woman he had seduced that night. It seemed so long ago because of everything that had happened, and I could hardly believe that had been me.

I shivered.

"Dar," I said, filled with desire. "Please."

He was kneeling, and he had a serious look in his eyes. He didn't answer me.

"Dar?" I looked down at him, confused.

"This is the first time we've made love since the ritual," he told me.

"Yeah, I know. I'm dying for it. Please. Why are you stopping?"

"Because there's something I need to do before we begin," he said.

I bit my lip.

Oh. Right.

I turned to the right and heard him sigh at the sight of my scar.

He traced it lightly with his finger.

"I will never forget what you did to save me, Kenna," he said softly. "To save us."

I held my breath as his lips moved over the sensitive skin. He looked up at me, and I saw such love there that I felt a lump in my throat.

"I love you, Kenna," he said. He pressed his lips to my scar.

The kiss shot a jolt of lightning through my body and straight to my core. My hips bucked. I had never felt anything like this before. I felt my nipples tighten, and I moaned.

"Holy shit," I said a little breathless. "If I had known having my scar kissed was going to feel like that, I would have done this a long time ago."

After taking off the rest of my clothes and his own, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. Our entire bodies were touching from head to toe.

"Kenna, do you want me?" he asked.

"Dear fucking God, yes, Dar, just take me. I need you inside me, right now."

He let out a shuddering breath.

"How?" he said.

"I want you on top of me. I love it like that. I want to look into your eyes," I whispered.

In an instant, I was on my back on the bed and without any warning, he thrust deep inside me.

"Oh, yes," I said. That was what I needed. God, I had missed having him this close to me.

"Kenna," he groaned. "I can't be slow."

"Don't be," I said as I met his thrusts and matched them. His strokes increased, and I writhed beneath him, feeling my release starting to build.

He held me close, and we gazed into each other's eyes.

"Dar," I said, as heat bloomed all over my body.

I arched my back as the orgasm hit, and my body was rocked over and over again by the waves of pleasure. I cried out and spasmed around him, lost in the ecstasy of the longest, hottest climax I had ever experienced.

He thundered against me, pounding into me until he stiffened, giving a harsh groan as he pressed his hips into mine, hard, filling me with his seed.

I lay there with him on top of me. Unable to move, I was in a haze of post-orgasmic bliss. He was crushing me, but I didn't mind. His head was on my shoulder, and I felt something wet.

"Dar?" I said, making him lift his head.

He was crying.

"What's wrong?" I said, worried I had done something to upset him.

"Nothing." He swiped at his eyes, trying to get rid of the tears. "I just never thought I was ever going to get to do that again. To make love to you and bring you pleasure. Be so close to you that I don't know where I end and you begin."

"Oh, Dar. I love you. We're together now."

"Right. And nothing in the universe can ever tear us apart. Right?"

"Right," I said.

Hours later, after showering, we were cuddling his big bed when there was a knock at the door.

Dar frowned, then got up and threw on his pants.

"Who's there?" he said.

"Dar, open up. It's me, Mana. And Jared."

I heard Jared's voice as he added, "Make sure you're decent in there."

I jumped up and pulled my dress back on, not bothering to zip it up in the back. I checked to make sure all the important bits were covered and then nodded at Dar.

He opened the door.

"I am so sorry to interrupt your sleep, your majesty." She glanced around at the clothes strewn everywhere and the rumpled bed. Then she looked at us. We were not wearing our pajamas and half-dressed in our finery from the ball. She got a distinctly uncomfortable look on her face. Jared just smirked.

"What is it, Mana? I know you don't come to my room in the middle of the night for nothing."

"No, sir, of course not, sir," she said, looking distraught. Maybe she was upset about something else.

"Remember how you asked me to arrange for a treaty with the human government? And that we would share the running of the Wormhole 87?"

"Yes."

"Jared and I were checking up on it."

"In the middle of the night?" I said, confused.

Mana gave me a look that was not pleased.

"We set up an alarm system," she said in a deadly tone.

"Mana." Jared's voice warned her not to say something she would regret. She visibly became conciliatory.

Man, she was good. I wondered where she had her diplomacy training.

"Sorry, Kenna. I didn't mean that the way that it sounded."

"No, of course not," I murmured, giving Dar a look. But he wasn't paying any attention to me.

"What did the alarm tell you?"

"We were on watch, and something came through the wormhole, sir. We don't know what it was because we no longer have communications with the patrol. The space station seems to be gone."

"Gone? You mean it's out of position? Like the supply ships were when we couldn't locate them on Dobu."

"No sir," Mana said, her eyes full of fear. "I mean gone."

"It was there three hours ago, but now it has completely disappeared." Jared helpfully clarified.

Dar began to pace.

"Something came through the wormhole and destroyed our space station?"

"No, sir. There is no debris. Whatever came through the wormhole has made it vanish."

"How can that be?" I said, trying to understand. "I thought that we were the only life forms in this galaxy. Do any descendants of the Great Race have the ability to do this?"

The other three shook their heads.

"That means something else with a technology we can't even dream of killed ten thousand people?"

"That is, unfortunately, correct," Mana said. "What do we do, your majesty?"

"Get the President of Earth. We can't deal with this threat alone. They are the closest planet that can come to our aid."

"Yes, sir," she said, turning to go immediately. Jared followed her.

"Oh, and Jared."

"Yes, Dar?" He looked back, wondering what Dar had to say.

"Ready a shuttle craft. The four of us are going to be going on a little trip."