Dilemma

KENNA

I couldn't believe it.

There was not a space squid heading right for our ship. Was there? First terrorists. Then alien slave ships full of droids. Now a space squid?

This was getting ridiculous. I felt myself waver a little bit and Dar looked at me and frowned.

"Are you okay?" he said, concerned evident in his face.

"Space squid?" I said, weakly. "Is that like a land shark? Are you kidding me?"

He helped me to sit down before I fell.

"So, I guess you're not ok," he said, accusingly.

"Maybe I hit my head a little harder than I thought."

We grinned at each other when I said that, thinking how fortunate it had been that he had hit his head.

"I missed you," I said.

"I missed me, too," he said and we grinned again.

"You remember everything, including what happened when you didn't have your memories back?"

He nodded.

"Everything okay, Dar?" Jakk said. Interrupting our little reunion.

"Yeah, Kenna's a little woozy, that's all."

"The wormhole didn't destroy all the ships. There is one ship left that was suspiciously out of range, almost as if someone knew where it had to be to avoid being pulled into the wormhole. Our best guess is that the creature is from the remaining vessel."

He glanced at Kenna apologetically.

"I'm sorry, but the doctor is not available right now, Kenna. We need all hands at their stations, since we lost seventy crew members during the destabilization. But as soon as we deal with this space squid, we'll get everyone checked out by the ship's doctor, okay?" Jakk said. Kenna nodded.

"No worries, Jakk."

We watched it approaching.

"This animal is massive. Do you have any ideas, Dar?"

"You were always the idea guy, Jakk. I just followed you along."

Without taking his eyes off the view screen, Jakk snorted.

"I suppose it was my idea to sneak into the girls' camp to wake up Millaree and Vovavnu?" he said, looking innocent.

"Midnight canoe ride in the oasis," he said, filling me in. "Nothing happened. The counselors caught us when our canoe bottomed out. It was the dry season. Not my best idea ever," he told me, shrugging. "As for what to do about the squid? Don't you have weapons?"

Jakk looked at him with astonishment in his face. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"What if it comes in peace?" Elara said out of nowhere. She had been listening to the conversation but had not spoken until now.

"Are you serious, Aritza?" Jakk said, looking at her in disbelief.

"I thought you were a peaceful race," she said referring to the Susohnnan culture's aversion to violence.

"And so we are," he stared at her for a moment longer, until she blushed. Then he turned to the ensign in charge of communications. "Ensign, please hail the squid in as many languages as the computer knows, including squidish."

Kenna and I smiled at each other.

"Tell it we come in peace and mean it no harm."

The ensign nodded and went to work. A moment later a gob of slime hit the camera of the view screen. As we watched, acid in the slime began eating away at the device, melting it.

"Holy shit," Jakk said under his breath. "Get that camera washed off, Mellora, now. It's close to a main wall. We don't want that acid eating into the hull."

Mellora was out the door in an instant and we saw her a couple minutes later outside the ship, in her space suit, cleaning the camera. It fell to pieces in her hands and she gave up, simply replacing it instead. We once again had a perfect view of the hostile squid.

"Are you convinced he's not peaceful now, Aritza?" Jakk said, turning disapproving eyes on her. She shrugged, clearly trying to look nonchalant.

"Who knew he had acid spit and an incredible range?" she said.

"Lock on to the hostile alien," Jakk said, giving Elara a look.

"Locked on," the ensign said.

"And fire," he said. We all watched as the photon torpedoes shot out of our ship, moving at a terrific speed.

The squid barely moved, but it was just enough to evade the torpedoes. We looked at each other in astonishment.

"Oh, you did not just do that," Jakk said, looking stunned and then furious. "Double the payload and fire when ready."

We all held our breath as we watched the torpedoes go out and once again miss their target. The squid was almost to the ship by now.

What was it going to do when it got here?

It got closer and closer and then suddenly and completely without warning, it seemed to disappear.

"Show all cameras on the outside of the ship on the view screen," Jakk ordered. "We need to know what that damn thing is doing."

"Where is it?" Elara said.

"More importantly, what is it?" Jakk said, looking troubled. "This doesn't make any sense. A biological life-form that can withstand the vacuum of space? How can it fly at speeds similar to a space craft? It spits acid at long-range that melts some of the hardest materials known to science, and can disappear without a trace."

"Don't forget, it can shape shift, as well," a voice said from behind us.

We whirled around.

I saw something I never wanted to see again. The last time I had seen him in real life was on an alien ship, but he had shown up every night in my nightmares.

I glanced at Dar, willing him not to do anything stupid with my eyes. He looked back at me. Did he understand my eye movements? I hoped he was saying that he certainly wouldn't and that he knew better now.

It warmed my heart that we could have an entire conversation with one glance.

"Who the hell are you?" Jakk said. "And what are you doing on board my ship without permission?"

"You little folk, always going on about your funny rules. You should know by now. I don't need anyone's permission to do anything."

"He's the alien that was aboard the first ship that showed up out of the wormhole," I told Jakk and Elara.

"You are still trespassing and I still ask you to leave," Dar said.

"I should have mind-wiped you when I had the chance," the alien said. "But your mind looked so nice and clean at that point, that we thought — why go through all that bother? When I get you back on my ship, I won't make that mistake again."

Jakk and Elara looked at Dar.

"I had amnesia," he explained. "We hid it. It wasn't a good idea for the king of Susohn to suddenly be unavailable for duty. At first we thought I actually was mind-wiped but I kept having flashbacks. And just now I hit my head again and regained my memories."

They stared at him, opened mouthed.

"I know, it sounds like something out of a movie or a book," he said, looking sheepish.

"No," Elara said. "It sounds like traumatic amnesia which is caused by a brain injury. The memories disappear suddenly and usually reappear suddenly."

"Two years of a psych degree before she switched to astrophysics," I told Dar. "Because physics just seemed simpler than psychiatry."

"You bastard," Jakk said, finally finding his voice. "You never even told me. I thought something seemed off."

"Sorry," Dar said. "I know I should have told you. I wish I could have. But it was almost like a state secret."

"Your conversation bores me," the alien said, drawing our attention back to him. "It's time to get down to business."

He sounded testy. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Elara was backing up very slowly towards the door.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"So I can take you all prisoner, of course," he told us with a wicked smile.

DAR

Not this again. Kenna was right. Enough was enough. This alien squid-man-thing was a caricature of a villain. I had a feeling that he had studied up on bad guys and was doing his best impression of one. We needed to deal with this asshole permanently.

I drew in a deep breath and felt the full knowledge of who I was and what I was capable of flowing through me.

"No more of this crap," I said. "You're not taking us prisoner without a ship."

"That's what you think," he said, reaching into his pocket.

The security officer didn't waste any time waiting to see what he pulled out. She just whipped out her gun and shot him in the head.

We could add bulletproof to the list of characteristics that made this alien really hard to kill. He seemed to absorb the bullet into himself and stood there looking chipper.

"You little shit," he said, flinging his arm out towards the security officer, who went flying into the wall. All of a sudden, I understood why it had seemed like he had barely touched me when he'd thrown me. He was using an explosive pulse wave that pushed the people he threw without him touching them at all.

I winced as the security officer hit. I hoped she woke up with her memories intact.

While the alien was busy with the security officer, Elara had slipped out the door and he hadn't noticed. I hoped she had a plan. Well, I could keep him busy.

"What do you want from us?" I asked. Might as well cut right to the chase. "You've gone out of your way more than once to capture us."

"You're right. You, in particular, are very important. I want you to use your influence to help me round up more slaves. No one else has to get hurt."

I blinked in surprise, completely taken aback. I hadn't expected that answer. Kenna stepped up beside me and he looked at her. The moment he looked at her, I wished that he hadn't because he was leering in a way that made me want to tear him limb from limb.

"Apparently this body still remembers how to procreate," the alien said, taking a step towards Kenna. Her eyes widened in fear. My stomach turned and I moved so that I was in front of her. He glanced at me. "Oh, yes, I forgot. You creatures come in pairs. Well, this body doesn't want you. It only wants her."

"You're not going to have her," I said.

The alien stalked over and with a sick feeling in my stomach, I noticed his bulging pants. Gross.

He began to lift his hand to send me flying out of the way. But just as he got ready to send out the pulse wave again, he disappeared. What the fuck?

We all looked around in confusion.

"Mo, get a lock on the alien. Where is he?" Jakk shouted into his comm unit.

"He's in the pedestrian air lock," Mo said.

"What's he doing there?" Jakk said, confused.

"Elara asked me to transport him there," Mo said.

"On screen," Jakk ordered, his voice short.

We watched as the alien struggled to transform back into a squid shape, but couldn't because the airlock was only big enough for one human-sized body to enter. There was no way an enormous squid could fit into the tiny airlock.

At that moment, we saw the light come on that signaled the lock was being depressurized. The air began to be sucked out of the room, leaving only a vacuum. We saw his eyes bug out as he realized that soon he would be subject to zero atmosphere in a frail human body that was ill equipped to deal with the rigors of space.

"That's it. Try to get out of this one, you bastard," Jakk muttered.

As we watched the screen we saw him trying to change his shape. After several false starts, he finally managed to do something. He shifted part of his body. His squid mouth was in the place of his human face. Gross.

In horror, I realized what he was going to do.

He shot a large gob of spit at the door of the air lock. It immediately began to melt and as it disappeared, he shifted more and more of his body into its squid counterpart. As soon as the hole in the door was big enough, he began shifting his squid form out into space until he was completely free.

He turned back towards the camera. A squid's face cannot show much emotion, but he seemed to mock us.

Fuck. He was getting away. And there was nothing we could do about it.

I supposed we should just be glad he was running instead of trying to take us all prisoner — me especially, since he wanted me to aid him in enslaving all our peoples. That was not a desirable promotion.

As I watched the disgusting creature fly away from the ship, I wondered how long it would be until he came back again for me.

We would destroy the last remaining alien space craft. We had to. There was no need to worry. He would be blown up along with his ship and the threat to our galaxy would be at an end.

"Mellora, grab a team and get out there with lasers. Cut off any piece of the ship that's been touched by the acid. We don't want that stuff eating its way into the main supports of the hull."

"Yes, sir," she said.

Jakk could take a crew and run down that last ship. I trusted him to mop up this mess. If there was anyone who could take care of the last remnants of this problem, it was him.

"Permission to run that bastard down and blown him and his ship into tiny pieces," Jakk said to me. He was asking permission from me, the king.

"Permission granted, my friend. As soon as you repair your ship, restock your supplies, and pick up more crew members, of course."

Jakk laughed.

"You got it, Dar."

KENNA

I was reading in the ship's library, tucked away in a cozy little bubble that were sunk into the walls. I needed some head space after all that crazy squid nonsense. Dar was busy being a king.

When I heard someone come in, I didn't think anything of it. It was a public space. I just kept reading. But when I heard someone else come in and their whispered conversation turned to talking and then to raised voices, I had no choice but to pay attention.

"I really, really don't want you second guessing my decisions like that in front of the crew, Elara," Jakk said.

Oh, so it was Jakk and Elara. I peeked out, watching Elara draw in a deep breath.

"Am I not entitled to an opinion as one of your senior officers, sir?" she said, bravely.

"You are certainly entitled to it, but you are not required to give it in front of everyone, and undermine my authority."

She took a step closer to him and I saw her hands tremble — she was nervous at confronting him. She closed them into fists and spoke.

"If a little nerdy scientist like me can undermine your authority, perhaps you might want to work on your leadership skills," she said, getting bolder by the second.

He frowned. Their gazes held. And that's when I realized I was eavesdropping. But there was no way I could leave now without letting them know that I had heard everything they said. They would be embarrassed and so would I. I opted to stay where I was.

"Are you questioning my command, Ms. Aritza?" he said, inching a little closer.

She didn't step back as he moved into her personal space.

"Not at all, sir. Just establishing my right to help you make good decisions."

"And you think you do that," he said, never backing off.

"Just look at the destabilization of the wormhole, sir," she said.

"That did work out amazingly well," he said, as if conceding a point.

And all of a sudden I knew that there was a subtext to the conversation that I hadn't been picking up on.

"It did. And you should listen to me more," she said, lifting her chin. "Because sometimes I'm right."

"You weren't right about the alien being peaceful."

"No, but you didn't know that before you hailed him, so you gained useful information."

"Are you looking to move up in the ranks, Ms. Aritza?"

"Isn't everyone?" she said, evading his question.

"Well, it isn't easy to be promoted on my ship. You have to work hard, and show me you've got what it takes."

"Not a problem, sir," she said. "But there's one thing you should know about me."

"What's that?"

"I like a challenge," she said, repeating the words he'd said when they were destabilizing the wormhole. She smiled at him and leaned closer until they were almost close enough to kiss.

The tension was thick and tangible. I shouldn't be here. They stared at each other and I held my breath. This was better than a movie! He leaned in an imperceptible amount so that their lips were hovering over each other. All it would take would be the tiniest movement forward from either of them and they would be kissing.

Then Elara twisted away without touching him in the least, leaving quickly and forgetting her book on the table.

Jakk let out a long breath. He seemed surprised. Then he flashed a cocky smile and walked out of the library whistling.

DAR

While Kenna was off reading in the library, I asked Jakk to come have a beer in my quarters. The Three knew we needed it.

Kenna said she needed to decompress from all the anxiety of our encounter with the squid. The best way for her was to burying her nose in a book.

It was a new fact that I hadn't known about her. But I supposed that we hadn't had a lot of time to learn all the nuances about each other. We knew the major things but not the tiny details. I looked forward to learning everything there was to know about her, now that I could actually remember her again.

I waited for Jakk to show up. He had said he needed to talk to one of the crew members before he came over. When he arrived, his face was flushed and he looked out of sorts.

"Everything okay, Jakk?" I said, stepping back to let him enter the room. He looked at me in surprise.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Why do you ask?"

"You look a little disappointed, that's all."

"I'm fine," he said quickly.

"Come on in," I said, going to the refrigerator and getting him a cold beer.

"I'm really happy for you, Dar," Jakk said without preamble. And he almost managed to look happy. We were drinking Viran beer. The Viran might be violent assholes but they could make a delicious drink. "Kenna's great."

"I know it can't be easy for you to hear about me meeting my sheeranla, Jakk," I said, sitting down beside him and taking a pull of my beer.

"Nah, it's okay," he said. "I think it's amazing that you found her. I guess I should have waited for mine before I got married."

He sighed deeply.

"I'm so sorry about your marriage, Jakk," I said. No point in dancing around the issue. He took a long drink and then played with the label on the bottle that was wet with condensation, peeling it off a little bit.

"I thought I loved her. I never thought she was my sheeranla but I don't believe in stuff like that anyway, so I wasn't worried. But I never thought she would end it like this."

"It was unexpected?"

"No, we both saw it coming for a long time. I didn't think she would really divorce me. Our love's been gone for years now but we stayed together because we were comfortable. Then she got brave."

"Maybe you'll find your sheeranla now," I said. "For now, let's just get drunk and listen to old-time, depressing Susohnnan music from the era of the plague. That ought to cheer you up!" I said, clapping him on the back.

"What if an enormous squid shows up while we're fucked up?" Jakk said.

"That's why I have a woman and you have your crew. They'll handle it. The world did without the real me for quite some time, and I'm the king. They can do without you for the time it takes to get drunk and then sober up again."

"You do make a good case." He lifted his bottle and we clinked the necks together.

"My mother was a lawyer. You bet I can make a good case."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me that you had lost your memory."

"It sucked, Jakk. It's not something I wanted to talk about. Plus, mother made me pretend that nothing had happened to me. That jerk, Vordeeran, always believed that I didn't have what it takes to be king. He's been trying for years to get his son on the throne."

Jack shook his head, a disgusted look on his face. Every Susohnnan knew about Vordeeran's lust for power.

"If I had shown a weakness Vordeeran would have eaten me alive. I could have been deposed and his son on the throne before The Three could blink."

"I guess you're right, but I wish you could have told me. I could have helped."

"I feel really badly now, Jakk. But I didn't remember you before. I didn't know what good friends we were or what we had been through together." He glanced at me, remembering the battle at Dorl, no doubt. I had saved his life.

"That's another reason why I would have liked to help. I owe you."

"You don't owe me anything, Jakk. You would have done the same for me," I said.

"Well, I could at least have given you a good knock on the head. That would have maybe got things moving in there."

I laughed.

"Yeah, you could have done that. Silly me for not asking you for help getting my memories back. Want another one?" I said, getting up to get myself another beer. "You and Elara did an amazing job with the wormhole. I'll be writing a full report to your superiors about it."

Jakk turned red.

"I was just doing my job, Dar."

"I know. And I want Gerlon to know it. If there's anyone who deserves to have everything they want, it's you, Jakk."

He nodded.

"It was mostly Elara, though," he said.

I gave him a look.

"And if that wasn't the most amazing piece of piloting work I've ever seen, The Three can take me to their big balcony in the sky," I said, spreading my arms and turning my face to the ceiling.

"It wasn't that great," he said. But he was smiling a little.

"Maintaining your position while nearly being pulled into a black hole? That's pretty great. But okay. We'll say it was mostly Elara. She's pretty smart for a human," I said, then looked around to make sure Kenna or any of the other humans weren't around to hear me. He laughed. The Susohnnan like to joke amongst themselves about their mental superiority. I hadn't quite kicked the habit, yet.

"She's pretty smart for a Susohnnan, Dar," Jakk said, seriously. "She's so smart, in fact, that she scares me a little. You should see some of the other stuff she's figured out. The wormhole and the squid are just the icing on the cake."

I eyed him. I hadn't known his wife very well, but I knew that she had been prettier than she was anything else.

"You seem quite impressed with her," I said.

"She's one of the most valuable crew members I've got."

"And she's pretty."

Jakk's head whipped around.

"So? She can be pretty and smart."

"Just saying."

"I hadn't really noticed," Jakk said staring out the view screen at the stars. "She's quiet, just working on her equations most of the time."

"Kenna thinks she's lonesome, being the only human on a starship full of Susohnnan."

He looked surprised.

"Lonely? Nah, she's a tough one. She holds herself apart from us. Like she's better than us. She doesn't want company."

I looked at Jakk like he was nuts.

"Jakk, I thought you were smarter than that. What descendant of The Great Race doesn't want company? There's no one who truly wants to be alone. Come on. How would you feel if you were the only Susohnnan on a ship full of humans, with their weird references to God and strange food."

He frowned.

"You never thought of it from that perspective before, did you? Maybe you should try to include her in whatever social things are happening on the ship. She might feel like an outsider and that's why she seems aloof. She's got her pride, she's not going to invite herself to a party, right?"

"No, she seems very independent."

"There you go. Mark my words. There's more to Elara Aritza than you can imagine."

Jakk looked at me pensively, considering my words. "You think we've been excluding her?"

"Have you been including her?"

"No."

"There you go," I said, clapping him on the shoulder. "But now that you know, you can correct your mistake."

He nodded, still thinking about Elara.

"I've got to go find Kenna, Jakk. It's good to see you again," I said forgetting about our plan to get drunk in my haste to get back to my female.

He smiled wryly.

"Yeah, go give your sheeranla a kiss for me."

"I'll give her one for me," I said, pausing in the doorway. "Go find your own sheeranla."

He shook his head.

"I'm happy for you, Dar, but I'm not sure there's any such thing for me. Once bitten, twice shy."

"Just because you don't believe in gravity, does that mean that you can walk off a building without dying?" I said. "You have a sheeranla, Jakk. You just have to find her."

I turned and walked out of the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Where was my sheeranla? I had unfinished business with Kenna and I wasn't going to wait any longer. I popped into the library, but she wasn't there anymore. The cafeteria was empty by this time of night.

She must have gone back to her quarters.

When I got to her door, I realized that my retina was not keyed to her lock anymore. My shoulders slumped. By now, she was probably sleeping anyway. I would have to wait until morning.

Never mind that I missed her already. Never mind that we had lost time to make up for. Never mind that my body was humming, just wanting to hold her close and never let her go.

I felt a pang of loneliness and sadness that she would lock me out, but I chided myself for being a fool.

I crossed the hall and scanned my retina in. As the door slid open, I walked through. It slid shut and I locked it out of habit. I went straight into my bedroom and pulled off my shirt. I looked at my chest in the mirror. Still well-defined. My six-pack was looking good. Any more slacking off, though, and I would start to go to fat.

I changed into a pair of loose fitting pajama pants. With the head on Susohn, our custom is to sleep naked all year around. But Kenna had given me a pair of pajamas, and I put them on to comfort myself. They made me feel like she was with me. I left my shirt off because the ship was quite stuffy.

Feeling dejected, I shuffled over to my bed and threw myself down face first. I gave a big sigh and resigned myself to a restless night. But it had been such an eventful day that in spite of my heavy heart, I fell instantly asleep, dreaming of holding Kenna in my arms.

KENNA

Once Elara and Jakk left the library, I took my book and headed back to my room. I was exhausted. Reading calmed me but also left me feeling very sleepy. I sat on the couch and tried to stay awake. Dar had said he would come by after he talked with Jakk and I wanted to be ready.

I wanted to hold on to him and never let him go. I was afraid to go to sleep because I was worried that when I woke up, he would be gone again.

I changed into my pajamas and sat on the couch. My mind was filled with a million thoughts about everything that had happened. I still felt wound up but my eyes started drooping. My head jarred and I sat up with a start. Had I been sleeping? I let my head rest on the arm of the couch. Dar would wake me when he knocked.

It felt like only a few minutes had passed, but I opened my eyes and saw that the lights in my quarters had dimmed. Shit. What time was it? I glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly three in the morning. Why hadn't Dar knocked? Maybe he had and I hadn't answered. Damn.

My heart longed to touch him. I needed to be near him. I crept out of my room and down the hall. When I got to his door and found it locked, I thanked The Three, God, and Dar's mother — whoever had been responsible for making sure his lock was keyed to my retina. Dar's mother said that I might need access to his room if anything happened because of his memory loss, bless her heart.

I scanned my retina and tiptoed into his quarters, closing and locking the door behind me. I looked around. The room was dim. He was in the bedroom, sleeping, I hoped. The door was open and I crept in.

I stopped and watched him for a moment. He was lying on his stomach wearing his pajama bottoms. Only half his legs were covered by the blankets. I smiled. The pajama bottoms were a concession to me, I knew. He didn't like wearing them.

They didn't wear anything at night on Susohn. Everyone slept naked because of the heat. It had seemed scandalous when Dar had first explained the custom to me...even more than when I first saw their clothes with most of the pieces missing from them.

I wondered if he had hoped to sleep with me tonight and that was why he was wearing the pajamas. My heart fluttered. I loved this guy so much. I couldn't wait any longer. I pulled off my shirt, leaving my top bare, but kept my bottoms on like him. I wanted to be skin to skin. I wasn't thinking about sex. Not much, anyway.

I slipped in next to him and drew the covers up over both of us. Then I snuggled in and inhaled deeply. He smelled delicious, somehow always managing to emit the scent of the desert and the fresh smell of the oasis at the same time.

Then I pressed my body into his. He was hot. And all those muscles were hard. I sighed and relaxed into him. This was what had been missing all the time his memory was gone. I needed to be next to him and touch him. Without that, I didn't feel grounded.

He turned on his side in his sleep and draped his arm over my torso, pulling me tight against him. I drew in a deep breath and let it out, closing my eyes. Now that I was here with him, I could finally rest.

DAR

I was dreaming about Kenna.

She was in my bed next to me and pressing her soft body up to mine. Her arms were around me and she was rubbing her hips against me.

She pulled me close and kissed me deeply. Wait, this felt real. I opened my eyes to the blackness of my room. I couldn't see anything, but I could feel a hot, soft, moaning body next to mine. I would know that body anywhere. Even when I was without my mind, I still felt like myself when I was in her arms. I pulled back.

"Kenna? What are you doing here? How did you get in?" I said, feeling both happy and surprised. I hadn't expected to see her until morning.

She was panting a little.

"I would think it would be obvious what I'm doing here," she said, cupping the bulge that was quickly growing in my pants. "Your mother thought I should have my retina keyed to your lock, the sweet lady."

I didn't laugh.

"By The Three, woman, where were you tonight?" I felt my heart break a little and I was ashamed to tell her but I couldn't seem to hold back. "I thought you didn't want me."

I dropped my head, feeling foolish and sorry for myself.

"Oh, babe," she said, pulling me closer and holding me. "I fell asleep. I thought you'd wake me up. I wanted you. You don't know what it's been like, Dar."

Her voice broke and it was my turn to hold her close.

"I missed you so much." She went on. "But it was so weird because you were here physically, but it wasn't you."

I sighed.

"My sweet sheeranla," I said, smoothing her hair. "It's been a terrible time. Let's forget about it for awhile. I'm dying to remind myself what it's like to make love to you."

Like that, my heart was thumping in my chest and my blood was racing.

"I want to be as close to you as I can get," I whispered in her ear and she shivered. "Until we are so lost in each other that we can't tell where the one of us leaves off and the other begins."

Her hips bucked against me.

"Yes," she breathed and I knew that if I touched her she would be wet and slippery. But I had her entire body to explore before I got to that. A true Susohnnan male always made sure his sheeranla came first — at least once, sometimes more — before he got anywhere near her secret parts with his manhood.

And I was nothing if not a true Susohnnan male now.

I ran my hand gently along her face.

"You know what I wondered when I kissed you back on Earth?"

"What?" she said on a sigh, as I continued to trace down her neck — realizing when I got to her shoulder that she wasn't wearing any shirt. I drew my breath in sharply. She came prepared, my Kenna. Distracted by the smooth skin of her arm as I ran my fingertips lightly down to the palm of her hand and traced a circle there, I forgot what I was talking about.

"Well, what did you think?" she said and I heard laughter in her voice. She knew that I was losing blood from my brain because it was flowing elsewhere.

"I wondered what it had been like to make love to you. I thought we must have burned up the sheets."

"Really?" she said.

"Mm, hm," I said, my hand flowing back up her arm and down her torso, barely brushing the round curve of her full breast. Oh lord, I had missed this.

I needed her desperately, but I focused on her pleasure. She was all that mattered right now. When I got to her hips and wanted to run my palm over her scar, I was frustrated to find her pajama pants still covering her.

"Too many clothes," I said, scooting down, pulling her pants and panties off and tossing them across the room.

She rolled onto her back. Now those plump, juicy mounds were too much temptation. I brushed my hand lightly against one nipple just to hear her gasp. Then I licked the other one and blew on it. Her breathing was coming in fits and starts as her arousal increased.

Finally, I couldn't hold back anymore. I needed to taste her sweet flesh and I sucked a nipple into my mouth. She moaned and arched her back. She was perfection. She tasted like a female should and I moved over to the other side. She pushed her chest up towards me, urging me to take her deep. And I did, suckling her and nipping her hard bud until she wriggled beneath me needing more.

"Kenna," I said in my language. "You're perfect. You're so perfect. I love your breasts, your ass, your hot wet sheath. I can't wait to bury myself deep inside you and make you come so hard you scream."

"Oh, that's sexy. What are you saying?" she said breathlessly. "You're reciting the alphabet, aren't you?"

I chuckled but I didn't answer, unable to translate at the moment with my lips around her nipple.

I slid my hand down the skin of one of her creamy thighs, lightly brushing the triangle of curls between her legs.

So perfect. A triangle. As if The Three had designed females in their likeness to honor these bearers of life. And I wondered briefly if Kenna would bear a child someday in the future. I knew that triangle had pointed the way to bliss more times than I could count, but none more than Kenna's did, right at this moment.

"Dar," she said my name like a prayer. "Dar, please."

I loved when she begged like that, almost incoherent with need. She was not sure what she needed, but sure that I could give it to her.

I never felt more like a male than when she begged me to make love to her. I plunged my finger into her. She was more wet than I had ever felt her before — and slippery. She was like silk and I couldn't get enough of rubbing up and down her soft petals. I needed to put something else in there. Something she would enjoy even more than my fingers.

"Dar!" She sounded wild but I had at least one orgasm in store for her before I joined our bodies as one.

KENNA

He was driving me mad. After all the weeks of being pent up with wanting him, I needed him to take me hard, fast, and soon. But no, he was going slow. He was being thorough.

And he was going to drive me insane.

"Dar," I said again more urgently.

He didn't answer me, only slid down my body until he lay between my legs.

"Relax, Kenna."

I swallowed hard and let my legs fall outward. He reached his hands underneath me and cupped one of my round buttocks in each hand.

"Perfect," he said again.

Then his head dipped down and I felt his tongue barely touch my clit. It was enough to send shock waves through my entire body and make my hips arch up towards him. He chuckled, knowing his power.

He licked up my entire slit, making me shiver and moan. He knew how to pleasure me. Soon I felt waves of heat rolling over me and a sheen of sweat appeared all over my body.

"Hot," I murmured. "So hot."

He popped his head up for a moment to look at me, as I lay with my legs spread exposed and open to him — my body an instrument that he was an expert at playing.

"You'll be hotter soon, sheeranla."

I loved it when he called me that.

His tongue slid right into my tight depths and he thrust it in and out while his hand flicked my clit. A moment later, I couldn't hold back anymore and I came — fisting my hands in his hair and moaning his name.

"Again," he said, as he moved up and kissed my scar.

"Do you want me, Kenna?"

"Yes. Yes. Yes." And I still did, even though my first orgasm was still shaking my body. He positioned himself so that his cock was pressing at my entrance. My body was still spasming and convulsing, the waves of bliss hitting me over and over.

He didn't wait for me to finish and pressed his way inside me. We both groaned at the sensations. It had been so very long. He filled me up completely and I lay there as my body shook, enjoying the feeling of having him so close.

Soon he was thrusting into me and I felt the heat start to build again. Abruptly he pulled out and flipped me on to my stomach. He pulled my hips up so I was kneeling and I felt him line up to my tender flesh and sink deep inside again.

"Yes," I groaned.

His hand came around and played with my hard little nub that was still sensitive from the first orgasm. But in a minute, the passion grew and the feeling of him pounding into me from behind along with his hand stimulating my clit was too much and I came again.

As soon as he felt me go, he pulled out and rolled me on to my back again, thrusting back in and barely skipping a beat. The walls of my sex squeezed and contracted around him as my climax ripped through me.

He bent his head and sucked on one of my breasts. I moaned, unable to believe that my body was still able to respond after two orgasms. What had he told me once?

My body was capable of far more than I knew, if I would just let go.

He was pounding into me, looking for his own release but the angle he was hitting as he drove into me again and again was stimulating all the right places. Every slam of his pelvis into mine electrified my clit over and over.

I let go of all rational thought. I let go of what was possible for my body. I let go of everything and just trusted Dar. Because I loved him. I loved him so much my heart ached. I loved him so much.

As we gazed into each other's eyes, my third orgasm exploded inside me, the most powerful of them all, by The Three.

I screamed and it seemed like I couldn't stop coming. My body shuddered and the ecstasy rolled over me. Dar stiffened and pressed his hips hard against me as I writhed in pleasure under him. Then he completely collapsed.

My breath was coming short, he was so heavy, but I loved the feeling of his weight on me.

A moment later, he rolled us both over so that I was on top and he was still inside me.

I laid my head on his chest, glad he hadn't pulled out right away. I loved feeling him inside of me and knowing that he was here with me — all of him.

"I love you, Kenna." he said, running his hand down my back and relaxing completely beneath me. I felt limp. There was no way I could move, even if I wanted to. After three mind-shattering orgasms, I probably wouldn't be walking for a week.

"I love you, too, Dar. I need you so much. I had such a hard time doing without you when you were gone." I felt a tear leak out of my eye. It had been so hard.

He lifted his head so he could kiss my forehead.

"Never again, Kenna. I'll never leave you again. I promise."

"How can you say that, Dar? How can you know?"

"Because we're going to be together forever," he said, totally serious. Then he added, "My mother said so."

I laughed then and rolled off of him, making a little sound of sadness when we came uncoupled. I pressed my naked body all along the length of his and laid my head on his arm.

"Speaking of which..." he said, his eyes suddenly becoming more alert. I held my breath.

He rolled over onto his stomach, leaning on his elbows so he could look me in the eyes. Our left hips were side by side. I scooted up on the pillows, feeling wide awake and a tiny bit nervous.

"Kenna..." He started. Then he trailed off, looking puzzled. Maybe I was wrong about what I thought that he was going to do. "Do you have a middle name?"

Where had that come from?

"Yes."

"It's important. I need to know it."

"You do?" He nodded vigorously. I shrugged. "My full name is Kenna Alessandra DeAndrea."

He looked a little skittish.

"It's beautiful."

"Dar? Are you all right?" He placed a finger on my lips, silencing me.

"There are traditions that must be upheld," he whispered. Then he spoke in his usual voice with a tone that was quiet but strong.

"Kenna Alessandra DeAndrea. You have been with me in my most painful moments. You have loved me with your body, your mind, and your spirit. You have given more than a woman should have to give in order to be with me." He paused then and touched my scar.

"I love your intelligence, your beauty and your talent for bringing life, whether it's with plants, people, or me. I love how you make me mad with desire, and how you have been there for me whenever I've needed you. I want to do the same for you for the rest of our lives."

I held my breath and searched his eyes. He meant it. Every word. I knew the truth when I heard it. He kissed my forehead, then my right cheek, and then my left — a triangle, of course.

"Kenna Alessandra DeAndrea, would you do the very great honor of marrying me?"

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. My breath was coming too fast and I was feeling too much. I couldn't answer. The words wouldn't move past my lips.

"Kenna?" he said and then he looked worried. Shit. When was he not going to doubt my love? When you stop hesitating at important moments, you idiot, I chided myself.

"I'm overwhelmed, Dar," I said, truthfully, still unable to say the words that I wanted to.

"Overwhelmed because you don't want to marry me and you don't know how to tell me?" he said, looking sick to his stomach. "I think I might have grossly overestimated your feelings for me if that's the case."

I closed my eyes. This was all falling to pieces because I was a chicken shit.

"Darvish Shu'in," I said, opening my eyes again. "Sorry, I can't remember all the other ones."

He didn't say anything just waited for me to go on.

"I have loved you almost since we first met. You have made me more me since the moment I met you. I love how you make love to me. I love how you drag me around the galaxy on your crazy adventures."

He grimaced but I didn't stop.

"Okay, maybe you don't drag me with you, but I tag along." I smiled, going on. "I love waking up next to you and feeling happy because you're there. And I swore when you lost your memories, that if I ever got you back, I would never ever take you for granted again."

His eyes got a soft look in them and he took my hand.

"Will you give me a chance to show you how much you mean to me, every day for the rest of our lives? Will you let me wake up next to you so that I can appreciate you every single morning and thank The Three and God and whatever other deities were involved in bringing my curvy ass all the way across the galaxy to find you?"

He smiled and squeezed my butt.

"Will you marry me, Dar? Even though I don't say the right thing at the right time and you keep wondering if I care about you. Will you let me prove it once and for all by marrying you, so that you never have to wonder again? Will you?" I said and then waited, my heart in my throat, for his answer.

"This is very unconventional," he said, instead.

I slapped him on the arm.

"If you wanted a traditional female, you shouldn't have fallen in love with a human," I said. "Now answer, damn it."

"You first," he said, smiling now. "You feisty thing. I asked first, so you have to answer first."

"Is this what being married to you is going to be like?" I said.

"I hope so," he said and then laughed. I loved to hear it.

"Okay, okay. I'll marry you. What about you? Will you marry me? I answered, now it's your turn."

"I will marry you, Kenna," he said, leaning in for a brief kiss. "With all my heart."

Then he moved over and pressed our scars together. I gasped and saw stars. The shot of energy blasting through my body was incredible.

"Dar," I panted. "What was that?"

"That was the feeling of a love vow being sealed with our scars, Kenna."

"I'll get engaged all over again if we can do that one more time," I said, still unable to process how good that had felt. "It's almost as good as sex with you. And that's saying a lot."

"If you want to get engaged again, we can do it again, Kenna," he grinned. "Whatever you want, sheeranla. Whatever you want."

The next morning after some hot, wet shower sex, Dar had brought us breakfast in his room. I thought he was hoping to get lucky again but he was just being romantic.

"I guess we can let your mother announce our engagement at your cousin's wedding," I said.

Dar turned a thousand watt smile on me.

"I guess we can," he said. "Hey, you know what?"

"What?" I said, tucking into my toast and scrambled eggs. He said it was weird to eat bird ovum, but he got it for me anyway.

"I wrote myself a note one night when I had my memory back for a few hours."

"Yeah?" I said, not really paying attention. I was so starving these days. It seems I could hardly get enough to eat. "Are you going to eat that?"

I could not believe I was offering to eat his weird animal meat. I had been eating on Susohn for some time and I still could not get used to the fact that their meat is blue.

He frowned. "No, I'm done."

"Can I have it?" I said.

"Sure." He handed me his plate and I tucked in. "I wrote myself a note that said: Propose. Propose now. Don't let her get away or you'll regret it the rest of your life."

I stopped eating to stare at him.

"You wrote that to yourself?"

"Yep. But I didn't want to act on it, especially since you were adamant that you weren't going to get engaged to me when I didn't know what I was getting myself into."

He grinned at me.

"Well, see? Full disclosure," I said, taking another bite of the weird meat and trying not to look at it before I put it in my mouth. "I wanted to make sure you were going in with your eyes wide open."

He laughed.

"Indeed."

"I have something to tell you," I said, finishing the last bite and pushing my plate away.

"What's that?" he said, looking interested.

"Well, I've figured out what I want to do with my life, other than marry you and give your mother grandchildren. Wait a second. They will be our children, won't they?" I said, suddenly nervous about what strange Susohnnan child-rearing customs I might not be familiar with.

"Yes, Kenna. Of course they will be our children," he said, rolling his eyes. "Now, what were you saying? About what you want to do with your life?"

"Well, you're a king and as much as I've loved zipping around the galaxy with you, it's really not much to build a life on. Once we're settled somewhere I can grow things. Herbs and medicinal plants, you know?"

He nodded, his face lighting up.

"I would prepare them the way my Gran taught me. I would be a medicine woman, I guess," I finished, looking at him nervously. Would he say I was ridiculous? Would he laugh? I hoped not.

He looked absolutely joyful.

"That sounds wonderful, Kenna. And you would help people heal the way you helped me on Dobu and the way you healed Elara's eczema?"

"Exactly," I said. "I would feel useful, like I was doing something good with my life. Do you think I could do that?"

"Of course. I think it's amazing. I know some people on Susohn that can teach you about the plants that grow there and of course you can have a greenhouse. You already know about growing Earth plants in other environments, so you would just have to figure out Susohn. We'll get you whatever you need."

"You sound more excited than me," I said, laughing. I felt better about the future than I had in a long time.

"We've made nearly all the repairs necessary and we just need to restock and take on more crew on Susohn. Then we'll be ready to hunt down that..." Jakk stopped himself from swearing but it was a near thing. "That space squid and the last alien ship that's hiding out there. We'll be arriving on Susohn in an hour or so."

"That's perfect, we'll be getting off there, then," Dar said. "Kenna and I have a wedding to plan and a garden to grow."

Dar put his arm around me and I caught a wistful expression on Elara's features. Her glance darted to Jakk and then away again. She was hanging around at the back of the crowd on the bridge and she faded as we continued to talk.

I made a mental note to go talk to her before we got left the ship. I wondered if I would ever get to see her again. It would be a dangerous mission, hunting down those aliens.

"You're engaged?" Jakk said, a smile spreading across his face. "Congratulations, Dar."

He made the sign of The Three and then slapped Dar on the back and kissed the triangle of The Three on me — one kiss on the forehead and one on both cheeks.

"You're invited, for sure," Dar said.

"Great. Hopefully, I'll be back in time."

Or at all. It was unspoken and we were thinking it, but we all ignored it. The congratulations kept coming in, but finally I was able to slip away to find Elara.

I poked my head into the library. Elara was sitting in one of the reading bubbles but she wasn't reading. Her eyes were red and she was rubbing her nose.

She'd been crying.

"Hey," I said, softly. "Are you okay?"

She smiled sadly.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Congratulations."

"I'm sorry, Elara."

"You're sorry you got engaged? Well, maybe you ought to break it off then," she said, trying to make a joke. "It's just that I wish..."

She didn't finish, just laughed self-consciously and dropped her eyes to the floor.

"We all do, you know. I was once in your shoes. I thought I'd never find someone like Dar, who would love me. It still feels like a crazy miracle that I can't quite believe, Elara."

"Really?" she said. And she looked so young when she gazed up at me like that. It was an illusion, surely, because with that much schooling behind her, there was no way that she was as young as she seemed. Still, she had an innocence about her that was charming. I was afraid someone would hurt her and make her cynical and jaded.

"Really. You'll find your sheeranlo. He's out there."

"Sheeranlo? What's that?"

"It means your soul mate in Susohnnan. He's out there waiting for you."

Jakk stuck his head in.

"Or maybe he's closer than you think," I murmured to myself.

"Dar's looking for you, Kenna. We're docking in twenty," he said.

"Thanks, Jakk."

"No problem. I was looking for Elara as well. Can you run through the supply list one more time with me and make sure we haven't forgotten anything?" he said.

She sat up straight, sniffing and trying to pull herself together.

"Yes, sir."

"Good, I'll see you on the bridge." Then he was gone.

She looked at me for a long time before she finally spoke. I don't know what the words cost her but she could hardly get them out.

"He's married."

I pressed my lips together, shaking my head.

"Not anymore, Elara. The divorce went through."

"Are you serious?"

"You bet. Dar just told me. He's a free man. He's also hurting and lonely because his relationship with his wife has been dead for some time, so tread carefully. Men's hearts are awfully tender, remember."

She gave me a shy smile.

"I remember."

I pulled her in for a hug.

"We'll meet again, Elara. I know it. You're invited to my wedding, so don't do anything stupid when you're off squid hunting, okay?"

She smiled.

"Okay."

"Now, I guess there's a supply list that needs to be gone over, again. Maybe he just wants to spend time with you."

Her face lit up in surprise and then she gave me one last smile.

"Thank you, Kenna," she said as she headed for the door.

"May you may find as much happiness as I have," I whispered to her back as she disappeared through the doorway.

DAR

I looked around me and smiled. We were in the oasis at the back of the palace.

To one side we could see through the trees out onto the burning hot sands. The harsh wind was blowing across the desert but here the air was cool and moist. The huge trees sheltered us from both Susohn's suns as they traveled across the sky together.

The servants had set up banquet tables and we had invited people to come celebrate our engagement. My heart ached when I thought about Mana and Jared and how they would have been here if they hadn't been captured.

There was a ship on its way through the wormhole right now but I didn't have much hope. They might even be dead already. I shook my head to clear it and tried to pay attention to what my mother and my fiancee were talking about.

"I've talked to the Conveyor and he is willing to give you a special dispensation to get married this year, since you have known each other for some time and have proven your love for each other in many ways — not the least of which is you completing the ritual, Kenna. That really impressed him."

Kenna smiled a little and ducked her head. She was wearing Susohnnan pants that had a panel cut out to show the skin of the left hip. Mother had probably picked them out for her. She loved showing off her future daughter-in-law's scar and telling people what Kenna had done to get it.

"Really, mother? When can we get married?" I said, eagerly.

"Now, now, calm down child. You're as good as married now. There's no need to rush."

I took a deep breath, trying not to be annoyed with my mother for calling me a child and telling me to slow down, as if I had been running in the halls of the palace. I felt Kenna's hand on my thigh under the table. I could tell she was trying not to smile.

"Mother, we are not rushing."

Just then a servant approached me.

"This just came in for you, sir. I thought I ought to give it to you immediately." He handed me a piece of paper.

I opened the note and read it while the servant waited to be dismissed. I stared it, reading it over and over.

"Where did you get this, Mervoll?" I demanded.

"It just came in to the communications center, your highness. Is there a problem?"

"How did it come in?" I said, knowing my voice sounded urgent, but unable to control myself.

He smiled then, shaking his head.

"You won't believe it. Morse code. My brother and I always loved old Earth war movies and one year we spent a couple months learning Morse code. I recognized it right away. Good thing I was on duty, or someone else might have missed it as just space noise."

Kenna and mother were watching our conversation curiously.

I drew in a shaky breath.

"Thank you, Mervoll, excellent work." He made the sign of The Three and left. I made a mental note to give him a huge bonus.

"What was that about?" Kenna said and they leaned towards me.

I swallowed hard.

"It's a message."

Kenna gave me an exasperated look.

"Yeah, we got that. What does it say?"

"It says...We're alive. MJ."

"That's it? That's the message? Who's MJ?"

"Mana and Jared?" I said. My mother made a surprised sound. "They managed to get us a message somehow, using Morse code. Jared must have taken the prototype of Mirallaley's communication technology with him. They left before we got the full shipment. They're alive, Kenna. They're alive."

I felt like crying I was so relieved, but that wouldn't do. I grinned instead.

"Thank The Three," my mother said, putting her hand on her heart.

"This makes this evening even more perfect," Kenna said, smiling at me happily. "I've been so worried about them. There's probably more to worry about but if they were able to get us this message, then there's hope."

I nodded. That was my thinking exactly.

I leaned back and let a servant set the next course in front of me. There was a white cube, drizzled in some kind of red sauce.

"What is this?" Kenna said under her breath to me. She was clearly disgusted.

"It's space whale. Speaking of the Mirallaleyans. Remember the diplomatic visit I went on to Mirallaley to thank them for the intergalactic technology they provided us with? They took me whaling." I grimaced at the memory. "And I got one."

She blanched.

"A space whale? I didn't even know there were such things. And this is it?"

She poked at the small white cube.

"Well, this is some of its blubber. The Mirallaleyans have a very cold planet and so they used to go out into space and hunt the whales and then bring them back and live off them for months as the winter raged. They often eat the blubber straight up. They consider this a delicacy."

She gave me a look.

"They made me take some with me. I was going to give it away or throw it out but somehow it must have got into Chef's hands."

"Oh, stop complaining kids, and eat it." I watched as my mother cut off a piece and put it into her mouth.

Kenna cut off a small piece. She pulled it gingerly off her fork with her teeth and chewed slowly but didn't gag.

"It's tough," she said.

"Wouldn't you be if you had to survive in space?"

"I guess so," Kenna said and she continued to eat.

"You don't have to eat it if you don't want to," I said, unsure whether I wanted to eat mine.

"I come from an Italian family. If it's on your plate, you eat it," she said.

"Italian?" My mother found it difficult to pronounce the foreign word.

"It's an ethnic group on Earth that my family comes from. We're big eaters."

My mother and my human fiancee were getting along and discussing space whale blubber and Earth's ethnic groups together. I must be dreaming.

I thought back to when I had met Kenna and was so glad I could remember my life again. We had been through so much. And now that we were engaged and would get married soon, we would be going through the rest of our lives together.

I couldn't wait.

KENNA

The hovercraft had dropped us off at the entrance to the oasis and Dar and I strolled through, chatting.

"So, when do you think your mother will let us get married now that the Conveyor has approved us?" I said, as Dar picked a small purple flower and tucked it behind my ear, kissing my neck.

"Probably a month or two. Why do you ask?" he said, looking at me curiously. He knew I had something up my sleeve. He pressed the triangle in the rock and I followed him into the cave with swirling rainbow lights on the ceiling. I stared up in awe.

"This place never ceases to amaze me," I said.

"You never cease to amaze me," Dar whispered.

I smiled, still trying to keep it light.

"You've never seen a human eat space whale before? It wasn't that impressive."

He picked me up and spun me around so that my legs swung out and I got dizzy. Then he set me down and very thoroughly kissed me until my knees got weak.

When he let me go, I swooned.

"Now, tell me what you're up to woman, or I won't be held responsible for my actions."

His eyes looked predatory in the weak light. Good.

"Are you saying that because you love me? Or just because you're on your mating cycle?" I said, as innocently as I could.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Both," he said.

That's what I thought. I just needed confirmation.

I swallowed. "If you're planning on ravishing me tonight..."

He took a step towards me and I saw his chest rising and falling quickly.

I took a step back.

"...we might have to use some protection."

"Protection? What is this protection?" he said. "I remember now, you mentioned it the first time we made love."

"You remember that?" I said.

He nodded.

"On Earth, humans use it so that women don't get pregnant."

He blinked.

"Don't get pregnant?"

"If you make love to me tonight, I could get pregnant because I'm on the fertile part of my cycle, too."

He stared at me.

"What? Shouldn't I have told you?" I said, feeling really nervous now.

"Of course," he said. "I'm just stunned. It often takes years before a male and female's cycles come into alignment. It's just one more sign that you are my sheeranla."

"So do you have anything?"

"There's no such thing on Susohn. If the cycles line up, the couple is happy. And if they don't want to get pregnant, they simply abstain."

"So we're going home now?" I hoped my voice didn't reveal the disappointment I felt.

"Not on your life," he said, pulling me into the circle of his arms. "We're starting a family tonight."

I smiled and looked up at the glowing lights dancing on the rocks of the cave. I remembered how I had been so sad that I couldn't see the stars before I left home to come on this crazy adventure.

"I love you, Dar," I said, kissing his face with The Three — forehead, cheek, cheek.

"And I love you, my sheeranla. Now come on. I've got some ravishing to do."

Like the night when I had first decided to leave Earth, my life suddenly seemed full of possibility.