Chapter5
“How about we just wait for a little? Let me know if anything weird happens with your period, okay?” Carolyn said, resting a hand on Rita’s back, letting her palm rub small circles on it. “It’ll be okay…I promise,” she whispered as she gave her best friend a tight hug. “I wish I could stay longer, but I really have to run. That exam is going to murder me if I don’t study.” Carolyn offered an apologetic look in Rita’s direction before she got up and scurried her way out of the room.
Rita laid back in her bed, letting out a loud sigh. How could this be happening to her? Why had she been so careless? She bit the corner of her lip and thought about all the internships she had applied to. What would happen if she was pregnant? Would it impede her future? What would her father say? All of these things swarmed her mind, making her feel sick.
Her hands rested on her stomach as she tried to calm her nerves. Finally, she got up and opened her desk drawer, pulling out some pain killers. She popped two in her mouth and did her best to steady herself before making her way back into her bed. Maybe she could just sleep all of this off and deal with it in the morning. With this thought in mind, she crawled under the covers once more, trying to clear her mind of all the insecurities that were troubling her.
***
Two weeks later, Rita found her world upside-down. She stared at her phone in horror. Her period app had told her that she was now two days late. Hesitantly, she had made her way to the local mini mart, where she bought an over-the-counter pregnancy test. She had been skeptical at first, thinking it was ridiculous, but eventually, she went through with it.
She read the directions meticulously, not wanting to give herself a false alarm. After going through with the procedure, she waited, sitting on the toilet, as she anticipated the result. She didn’t even want to think about what would happen if she was indeed pregnant. She felt like her whole world would end. Biting her lip, she finally looked down at the small stick in her hand. To her horror, a small plus sign had appeared in the result window. She felt her heart sink in her chest. She was pregnant.
She got up quickly and made her way to the bed, finding her phone hiding under the covers. She needed to tell Carolyn. She needed to tell somebody. Her whole body was shaking as she struggled to dial Carolyn’s new number. Finally, she got it right and placed the phone against her ear as she paced around the room, her mind working a mile a minute.
As she listened to the phone ringing several times, she felt her heartbeat quicken in her panic. Finally, her call went to voice mail and she cursed under her breath. Looking down, she hung up and tried again.
“Come on…I need you right now…” Rita muttered under her breath as she tried to keep herself calm, despite the situation she was in. A cold sweat broke out over her whole body.
Finally, after the third ring, Carolyn answered.
“Rita? What is it? I’m in class. Can it wait?” Carolyn's voice came out as a hushed whisper.
“No! I’m pregnant!” Rita blurted out, her voice a high-pitched squeal of emotions.
“Wait…hold on…you’re actually pregnant?” There was a pause before Rita heard the sound of Carolyn, viciously chewing her bubble gum through the line.
“Yes!” Rita answered back, her voice reaching a new octave as she sat down, trying to keep her bearings despite the dire situation.
“Okay, just calm down. Everything will be okay. I promise.” Carolyn tried to reassure her friend.
“How can you say that? I’m pregnant! And I don’t even have the father’s number! Tell me, how I am going to be okay?” Rita blurted out, anxiety getting the best of her as she held the phone in a tight grip.
“Calm down, Rita…take a deep breath for me.” Carolyn’s voice was soft as she took it upon herself to try and support Rita to the best of her abilities.
Rita simply rolled her eyes, but took a deep breath nonetheless, taking her friend’s advice.
“Now what?” she asked as she looked around the room as if someone was watching her. Goosebumps suddenly crawled down her body as she was filled with a deep chill. She shuddered and got up, closing the door to her bedroom.
“I would suggest that you go get another pregnancy test or come down to the medical center. Pregnancy tests aren’t one hundred percent accurate and it’s actually quite common for people to get a false positive. So there is still a chance that you aren’t actually pregnant.” Carolyn’s voice took on a serious tone as if she were speaking to one of her patients.
Rita nodded even though Carolyn couldn’t see what she was doing. “Yeah, I’ll try that.”
“Fingers crossed,” Carolyn said. “Give me a call once you get the results of your next test or text me. I have another exam this afternoon so I may not be able to answer right away, okay?” Carolyn’s voice was sincere before she finally hung up.
Rita was left in her room feeling very alone. Her hands moved to her stomach for a moment as she wondered if there was a life growing inside of her. Her heart swelled at the idea for a moment, as if she wanted to be a mother, but the idea seemed insane. She was still too young and had her whole life ahead of her. This was no time for her to be having a baby.
Sighing, she got up and grabbed her jacket as she made her way to her car. She drove the short distance to the mini mart in town and blushed as she stepped inside, meeting the cashier’s gaze. It was the same guy from earlier. Did he remember her? Rita had this sinking feeling that he did. She could almost sense it in the way that he now looked at her, a knowing smile on his face.
Her cheeks turned dark as she disappeared into the hygiene aisle and looked through the small selection of pregnancy tests. She grabbed two different brands and made her way back to the cashier, who grabbed the tests off the counter with a smug grin on his face.
“Expecting?” he asked, tilting his head in an innocent gesture, but Rita couldn’t help but feel like he was mocking her.
“No,” she said bitterly as she folded her arms over her chest in a standoffish kind of way. The cashier looked at her a moment before ringing up the two tests without a further word. He told her the price and then patiently waited for her transaction to go through on the pin pad.
“Have a nice day,” he said politely as he handed her a small grocery bag. She snatched it from his hands and made her way back home. Her heart was thudding in her chest as she thought about going through the whole process all over again.
She unlocked the front door, and as soon as she stepped over the threshold, she was met by her father, standing in the middle of the entry way. His large arms were folded over his chest and he had a stern look on his face. He seemed to be holding something in his hands but was currently hiding it from his daughter. Rita gulped almost instantly, realizing what was going on.
“Rita. We need to talk.”
The hard lines on her father’s face hardened even more as his eyes darkened to an impossible level. Rita looked up at his tall, muscular figure and felt her body come to a shudder as she felt his chastisement close at hand.
“About…?” She dragged out the word, trying to feign innocence.
He just shot her a glare as he straightened out his navy-blue suit and turned on his heels, making his way to the living room. Rita could do nothing but follow. She didn’t know what to do with the bag she was still carrying, so she simply kept it with her. She shuddered to think what would happen if her father dared to look inside and find the pregnancy tests.
“So what did you want to talk about?” Rita asked in a rushed voice as she did everything in her power to keep herself calm under the circumstances. Her facial expression, however, was wrought with worry, giving away her guilt as her father looked up at her.
He ran a hand over his short, salt and pepper hair before he sighed and held out a hand toward the sofa.
“Please. Sit,” he said as he sat down as well, pulling up his dress pants just a bit so they wouldn’t get caught on anything as he did.
Rita could feel her worry thicken as she sat down, holding the bag between her knees as if that would hide it. Her father eyed it for a moment before he finally looked up at her, making eye contact.
“I heard you pacing in your room, so I went upstairs to find out if you were okay, but when I entered you weren’t there. I looked around and found this.” At this point, her father held up her already-used pregnancy test, something of a grimace painted on his face. “Do you want to tell me what this is, young lady?” He posed the rhetorical question as his expression turned firm and stoic.
“It’s…uh…” Rita stumbled over an explanation as she tried to figure out what she should say. Should she tell the truth or should she try and conjure up some sort of a lie.
“I want the truth.” His voice was harsh and firm as he barked the words. He held up the pregnancy test even closer to her, in an attempt to force her to look at it.
Rita wrung her fingers in her lap, picking at the fabric of her dress. She could feel her body shiver with fear as her heart thudded a mile a minute in her chest.
“It’s a pregnancy test…” she muttered under her breath as her eyes were downcast, looking at her feet.
“What was that?” her father asked, pretending to have not heard her. “And look at me when I speak to you, young lady.” Again, his voice was harsh as he made the demand.
Fear-stricken, Rita looked up and gulped once more. This was not good. “A pregnancy test,” she responded, her voice a little louder this time.
“And what have I told you about getting pregnant under my household?” Her father posed a rhetorical question yet again.
“That it won’t be tolerated…” she muttered under her breath as she once more looked down.
“That’s right. I’m very unhappy with you right now. Very disappointed in fact. I never thought you, of all people, would be careless enough to have an unplanned pregnancy.” Her father took a deep breath before he got up and smoothed out the wrinkles in his suit. “As a result of your reckless behavior, I want you to pack up your stuff and get out of the house by this afternoon.” Her father’s voice was emotionless as his face bore no expression other than disdain.
Rita looked up at her father in utter disbelief. She couldn’t comprehend how he could be so cold. She couldn’t understand how he was taking all of this so calmly. His silence proved to be more of a sting to her heart than his yelling ever could.
“Dad! You can’t do this!” she cried out in desperation. She couldn’t picture herself homeless. “Please,” she begged as she moved closer, allowing her hands to rest on her father’s chest.
Harshly, his fingers wrapped around her slender wrists as he tossed her aside and walked to the entrance of the room.
“I will not tolerate disobedience, and you blatantly disobeyed me! Get your stuff and leave.”
With these final words, he left the room, leaving Rita completely and utterly shocked. She didn’t think her father was capable of such cruelty and yet here he was, kicking her out of the house.
She felt bile form in her mouth as she sat there in a state of shock. What was she supposed to do? Numbly, she got up and made her way back up to her room. There was nothing she could do but follow his command or face the wrath of his furthered anger and disappointment. With tears in her eyes, she pulled out a suitcase from under the bed and started to pack everything that was essential to her. Her laptop. Some clothes. Some old sentimental things. She packed light, thinking that soon enough, she would be able to convince her father to forgive her. He just needed a few days to clear his head. That was all.
With this thought in mind, she closed the suitcase and sighed. “Were you worth it?” she asked herself as she thought of Axel. She couldn’t deny the amazing time she had with him, but now as her world was being thrown into shambles, she cursed herself for being so careless. With growing fear and a knot in her stomach, she grabbed her suitcase and made her way out of her room. She didn’t know when she would return, but she prayed it would be soon.
Finally, she made her way out of the house, slamming the door behind her. She jumped slightly at the sound, but attempted to hold her head up high as she approached her car. Gingerly, she placed her suitcase in the backseat as she backed out of the driveway and drove to Carolyn’s apartment.
She could feel her panic grow with every passing second as she made her way onto the road, but at the same time knew she had to keep herself in check, at least while driving. The last thing she wanted right now was to have an accident. Tightening her fingers around the steering wheel, she did everything in her power to keep her mind blank despite the millions of emotions and memories that wanted to haunt her in that moment.
Somehow, she managed to safely reach Carolyn’s apartment. To her dismay, Carolyn’s car was not in the driveway. She cursed under her breath and got out of the car anyway, slowly making her way to the front door, where she rang the doorbell. As expected no one answered.
“Dammit, Carolyn where are you?” she muttered as she ran her fingers through her dark hair.
A harsh wind blew through the area, making her shiver. Rita quickly made her way back to the car, where she turned up the heat, trying to keep herself warm, but the chill that wrapped around her body wasn’t simply because of the cold. It was a deep chill that went down to her very bones. She was afraid. So very afraid.
She searched through her handbag, looking for her phone. She didn’t have much battery left, but it was enough to call her friend. With shaky hands, she dialed the number and put it on speakerphone, waiting for Carolyn to pick up. Again the phone rang several times and Carolyn never answered.
“Dammit…” Rita looked at the time. It was 6 PM. Why wasn’t Carolyn home? Why wasn’t she picking up her phone?
Rita’s hands came down in a fury against the steering wheel before she leaned forward, resting her head on her arms.
“Where are you?” she whispered to herself as she closed her eyes, trying to figure out where her friend was and why she wasn’t answering.
She felt her frustration grow before she picked up her phone and tried one more time. However, it simply went to voice mail again. Rita waited for the telltale beep before leaving a message.
“Carolyn. I don’t know where you are, but please call me back as soon as possible. I really need you right now. My dad found out I was pregnant and he just kicked me out. I need a place to stay for the night and could really use a friend right now.”
By the end of her message, Rita found herself in tears. She quickly hung up the phone and tossed it away in her agitation.
She leaned back in her car seat and closed her eyes, where her mind bombarded her with a thousand different scenarios. Her hands clutched into fists by her sides and as the minutes dragged on, turning to hours, she eventually fell into a fitful slumber.
***
In Rita’s dream, she once again found herself in the same kitchen as before. This time, she was cooking. Her hand was skillfully moving a skillet back and forth as she sautéed a variety of vegetables on the stove. She smiled to herself as she saw them brown to a delicious perfection.
Naturally, she lowered the flame and added a red sauce to the mixture, allowing it to simmer. She started to hum a soft tune as her attention perked, hearing the sound of something in a nearby room. It sounded like a set of small wheels against a hardwood floor like someone was dragging a toy car against the floor. She tilted her head before her attention was caught by her dish. She quickly attended to it and set the table for four. There was the sound of a door opening and closing and then the familiar husky voice of a man.
“Mmm… Dinner’s ready I see!”