“You need to talk to her...” His words trail off like a goddamn echo that I don’t want to hear. Every chance we’re alone, and he’s bringing up the dynamics of our relationship. Before he wanted to keep her from me. Now he’s worried that I’ll be the one to lose her for the both of us.

I need to talk to Jude, I get that, but I don’t want to. Once I share that part of myself with her, I can never take it back. She flipped the fuck out when I told her I was a killer. I can only imagine how she’d act if she knew everything else. She’s green to this life, and while it’s sexy as fuck, it doesn’t mean she’ll be okay with the way things are done. Or the way I do things anyhow.

Sinner believes once I open up to her that everything will be rainbows and sunshine. Maybe the brother’s a little further gone then I originally thought. I wish he’d understand, but he can’t. She looks at him as if he’s the best thing since Cherry Coke. She’s never seen him when he’s truly pissed off and is fucking with someone.

I may cut fuckers up, but Sin...he filets their minds. I let them bleed dry, while he makes you question why you’re even alive in the first place. I wonder if Jude saw us both in action, which of us would be eviler in her eyes?

“Not now,” I argue while wiping down my handlebars with my shammy towel. It seems that no matter how many times I clean the chrome on my bike, there’s always a damn water spot or fingerprint. Or blood. It never fails, I always leave some behind and not on purpose.

A rumble from pipes garners our attention as the sound of a bike grows near. We both watch as Ruger pulls into the clubhouse parking lot. I figured it may have been someone from the other club stopping by, but this is even better. With Mercenary around, it’s good to have another familiar face in the club; I’m still not sure what to think of the new member.

Using my shirt, I wipe the sweat from my brow and chest. “The fuck you been?” I holler when his bike quiets, and he climbs off looking a bit weary. It must’ve been a long ride to have him showing up like this.

“Prez had me watching the piece of shit Fists,” he replies with a wave and heads for the club.

“Damn, the brother looks exhausted. And I wasn’t aware we had one spot pinned down for those asshats.”

“I haven’t seen him in a while,” Sinner mumbles, running his hand through his dark onyx hair. He’s got it combed back out of his way, but it doesn’t stop the motion he’s used to making when he’s frustrated. “As for the Iron Fists, they haven’t been at the front of my mind.”

“Why’s this so important to you all of a sudden that I tell her about my shit?”

“Because, Saint, I can’t get her to stay here without you opening up to her.”

I let out a grunt of disagreement. She’ll more than likely head for the hills if I open up to her.

“I mean it, she has to know everything. No half-truthing it.”

With a snort, I roll my eyes. “Really, that’s rich. How fuckin’ convenient that she knows fuck all about you, yet the bitch needs to know all of my shit?”

“You don’t love her...”

“Jesus.” Tossing the towel into the detail bucket, I meet his gaze. “It’s been easy, just fucking and chilling. Why do you have to complicate it? You know how I feel about you without me even saying it, so why is it so important that I’m different with her?”

“Because, I want more, and I was under the impression that you do too. I’m not getting any younger, and I’m ready to have a bitch on the back of my bike. As for why you need to speak up with her? Because, she’s a woman; she’s different. You of all people should understand that with the articles and shit you read on chicks.”

“Fine, Sin, then go put her back there; don’t let me stand in your way.”

All the questions have me wound up. It’s been too long since I’ve made a sacrifice and talking about it, only reminds me. I haven’t been keeping my promise to my father, to my family, and now I’m trying to ask the world to give me more. Maybe she does need to see this, and in doing so, I can ask for my ancestors’ blessing with Jude.

The questions and emotions have me taking my anger out on him and then storming off. Thankfully, he doesn’t follow; I might’ve ended up saying something I’d regret. Although, he’s used to me getting antsy like this. With Jude in the mix, it just adds more pressure. I’m allowed to get overwhelmed at some point, though. This is a change for all of us, not just him.

“Prez,” I call as soon as I find him. He’s working on a bike in one of the garages next to the clubhouse.

“Brother?”

“I-I need to go.”

“Excuse me?” he grumbles, standing to his full height. He’s got grease smeared on his chin and three empty beer bottles around him. He obviously has his own shit he’s been thinking about. At least he doesn’t have to worry about scaring off his woman; she’s already married to his ass.

“It’s been too long since I’ve had business to handle.” I get straight to the point. He knows me well enough to understand exactly what I mean.

“Ah, I see. Let me check somethin’ real quick.”

I nod, and he pulls his phone out, dialing someone. I eavesdrop as expected and figure out he’s talking to Ares. I guess someone owes his club money and a lot of it. Not only that, but Viking gets super pissed when he finds out the rat bastard hurt a child. Well, it sounds like it’s going to be my day after all.

Prez ends the call, sighing as he meets my eager stare. “Looks like I got something for you to handle, brother.”

A grin overtakes my mouth for the first time today...shit’s about to get real. Sinner wants Jude to know who I am? I’ll show her first hand, and send her screaming in the process, I’m sure.

“Are you going to tell me what we’re doing yet?” Jude glances from me to Nightmare’s solemn face as we climb off the bikes later that afternoon. He’s not a talker, so she’s assed out asking him anything. I’m usually the one with a big mouth when it comes to the brothers.

“Sure baby, we’re here to shake someone down real quick.” Gripping her waist, I help her hop off the bike as well, careful to keep her gorgeous legs away from the pipes. “We gotta get you some more clothes, boxers are not good riding wear. You did good, though, gettin’ used to being on the bike.”

She glances down at her clothes and then back at me, nodding. “A shakedown because it’s the first of the month?”

Her question is so innocent it even has Night’s lip turning up in amusement. We don’t go around collecting money on the first of the month from fuckers like this normally. We aren’t drug dealers or some shit. This is much more serious than a petty loan.

Chuckling, I grab her hand, tugging her along. “Nah, where’d you come up with that?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, just figured maybe someone owed you guys money or something and when payday rolls around...” She trails off, clearly having watched too many movies.

“More like a life,” Night lets slip, and I nod in agreement. For the shit he’s done, he owes blood in the least.

“A life?” she echoes with a gasp.

“You just stay out of the way, and you’ll be fine, baby. Sinner wants you to learn about the other side of things with me. You may not care for it, but then you’ll know just the sort of bad man you’re getting into bed with.”

“But I already know enough.” Her eyes begin to fill with tears. “I accept you both for who you are.”

Her proclamation has me leaning over to press a chaste peck on her forehead. To hear her say it and so genuinely has her making my empty soul not feel so hollow with her around. “You’re a good girl, but this is our life. You need to see firsthand how ugly we really are.”

The tears break free, falling like mini rain drops.

“Shh, you’ll be all right, little darlin’,” Nightmare murmurs, not comfortable with her upset. He’s a complete hardass except when it comes to women I’ve discovered. He’ll toss someone into a dumpster and light it on fire without a second thought, but if his ol’ lady so much as pouts, he’s out buying her flowers.

“Wha-what’s going to happen?”

We ignore her question, not wanting to put it into words. She’d be hightailing it for the cop shop if I attempted to explain it.

“Murphy?” I holler, trampling over garbage and who knows what as we head behind the burnt down trailer. “You around?” We get no response, so we continue our trek, searching out the lowlife druggie. Prez said he’d be out here somewhere.

Trailing over the various piles of debris, we eventually find him hiding on the side of an old stripped down, weathered car. He’s raggedy as all hell, clothes and face filthy, visibly shaking. He obviously was able to scrounge up some cash to get whatever drugs he’s on but was too stupid to not pay up to the Oath Keepers. Bad decision on his part, that’s for sure.

“Jesus,” Nightmare mutters staring down at the shell of a man before us. The brother could probably break him in two if he just stepped on him with his giant leather boot. I’m not going to let him have all the fun though.

“Judgment day, fucker,” I warn, a bit giddy with anticipation and his head shakes back and forth so much, it damn near looks as if he’ll knock himself out if he’s not careful. This guy’s a freaking wacko.

“Nope, nope, nope.” He continues to swing his head back and forth.

“You’re nice and doped up, huh? That’ll make what I have to do less painful for you. Too bad. You deserve to feel every ounce of it.” I wish there was a way to sober his ass up some so he could experience just a smidge of the pain he deserves to be compensated with.

“What did he do?” Jude whispers, her hand gripping the back of my cut as she hides behind me. I’m glad she’s back there, I’d never let the man die if he were to hurt her, accidently or on purpose. I’d torture the fucker for the rest of his life.

“An entire laundry list of shit, baby.”

Peeking over my arm, she mumbles into the back of my bicep. “So why are you here?”

“To give the little girl he hurt some real-life justice.”

“Oh God,” she gasps.

Nodding, I give her just a slight bit of backstory. “He fucked her up pretty bad. Her momma came to the Oath Keepers for help since the law didn’t come through for her. Anyhow, we’re doing a favor for the other club. You keep that to yourself; I’m not supposed to share club business. I’m making an exception right now, so you understand why I’m doing what I am.”

“What are you doing?” she quietly asks, repeating her earlier question and meets my stern gaze. She already knows, but clearly, she wants to hear me say it aloud.

“I’m going to kill him, Jude, and you’re going to watch. Not only will I take his life, but I’ll let him bleed dry. The blood will soak into the soil and be offered as a tribute to my ancestors for their sacrifices they’ve given to offer my family life.”

More tears tumble down her face, coming quicker now, but her weeping remains silent. She’s scared, and she has every right to be. In doing this, she’ll also discover that I can protect her if need be, that I’m not just a soulless monster to be feared.

“Night.” I signal toward Jude, and he steps forward. His hands land on her biceps securing her against his chest firmly, so she can’t turn away.

Is it wrong to make her watch this? Probably, but she has too. Nightmare’s the type that he’ll do it because I’ve asked him to, even if he’s not too crazy about having her here. He’d never do this to the woman he loves, but she already knew the type of person he was when they met.

I’ve never felt guilty about my decisions and my heritage, but right now my stomach churns for her. I’m stripping her innocence away one step at a time. Sinner was already broken, but this sweet creature isn’t. For that, I’m truly sorry to be the one to do this to her.

Sinner’s right though; if she ever randomly witnesses me doing a sacrifice, she’ll freak out. It’s better to snuff that option out now. She’ll have a chance to swish the idea around in her mind and hopefully come to terms and eventually accept me once again.

“Times up, Murph.” With my solemn threat, I unclip the machete that’s secured to my hip.

“No!” Protesting, he scrambles to my left. He’s too out of it to argue much or put up a fight. It’s amazing my words register with him at all. Who knows if they really do or if it’s something from the heroin or meth trip he’s on right now? Regardless, half the people I kill are doped up on something, so this isn’t out of the ordinary.

“Get him!” Nightmare growls, his feet planted in one spot as Jude attempts to pull away.

Murphy hops back to the right, and I slam the machete blade down across the back of his neck. “Ahh!” His pathetic wail’s laced with pain and shock.

His back springs up, and I time his reaction to turn perfectly. A second quick slash across his neck has blood spraying free, and Jude letting lose a shaken scream. As much as I want to comfort her, I can’t at the moment. I have to finish this.

Her voice is abruptly silenced as I imagine Nightmare slamming his hand over her mouth. I can’t chance a look at her just yet. If I do, I know I won’t like what I see in her eyes, and I may stop when I need to keep going.

Murphy face-plants, his blood hydrating the earth with each drop. Placing my knee in the middle, right along his spine, I yank his head back. Using my machete, I make a deeper slice across his flesh. It’s an awkward position, but I make it work. The blood pours out, just as I want.

Cupping my hand under the wound, I let the blood fill my palm and begin to chant to myself. Sacrifice to bring this man peace. Sacrifice to keep my sins quiet. Sacrifice for my ancestors no longer here. I offer this token of evil to you.

I lay my blade beside us, and with my palm full of the crimson syrup, I transfer some to my other hand. Lifting up both, I present it to the sun, the god of light and warmth, the god of life.

For you, this I offer. Sacrifice for life.

Bringing one hand to my lips, I drink. The blood trails from my chin, dotting over the man’s shirt. With my other hand, I transfer the liquid, evenly between the two and rub it into my skin, coating my arms with the wine of the gods.

“Please stop!” Jude eventually breaks free enough to cry out.

My gaze trains on hers. “This is my heritage, baby girl. My ancestors took the evil, black souls and used them as a tribute. It’s a sacrifice in our names. This blood is spilt to gain safety for you.”

She sobs. “It’s crazy...how can you be called Saint?”

“I killed the man I discovered torturing Sinner. He named me, I didn’t choose it,” I mutter solemnly, remembering that day as if it were yesterday. Nightmare’s never heard this story before, none of the brothers have, but he knows now as well. No one is aware of just how long Sinner’s been in my life; they know it’s been years, but it’s been nearly my entire life.

There isn’t anything I can do about this, it’s just who I am. Grabbing my knife, I slice long straight cuts on each of his limbs and one across his stomach. Sitting patiently, I wait, hoping the offering will replenish the land after he’s stolen so much from it.

Sheathing my knife, I approach her, still covered in the sticky, ruby liquid. “Tell me, do you love me, baby?”

Her lip trembles. She’s clearly unsure of what to say or do. I only want the truth from her and letting a bit of rage out on a piece of filth has me relaxed and bold. It’s time we talk as Sinner asked me to do.

“There’s no right or wrong answer, my sweet. Either you accept me for who I am as I have done you, or you don’t.” She said she did earlier, but that was before all this.

Tears fall, creating wet trails in their wake and she nods just enough for me to see it, her mouth opens, a whisper breaking free. “I do...I do love you, Saint. I don’t know how, because it’s so soon and things are crazy, but my life is fuller with you in it.”

My mouth turns up into a smirk. “Time means nothing to me. I could’ve met you an hour ago; that wouldn’t be the point. It’s how you feel and how I feel that counts,” I reply with my heart at peace from her answer and reach forward. My fingers trail over her face as I quietly chant, “My sacrifice for her, to keep her safe, to give her life.” Then lean in and kiss her, blood coating my mouth as the copper taste remains on my tongue.

Her lips tremble underneath mine, but she doesn’t turn away. She offers me everything at that moment—her heart and her freedom—because she’ll never be the same afterward. She’ll be mine too.