Can you remember who you were,
before the world told you who you should be?
Saint has a grin nearly the entire time he’s driving like a maniac. He’ll randomly glance over, wearing a smirk full of trouble. I don’t know where we’re headed or what’s going on. He stole the car apparently, and now we have to get it back right away, or someone from the mafia will be angry.
This is the most excitement I’ve had in my entire life, and I’m loving every minute of it. It’s the adventure I wished for yesterday in the middle of my boring work shift; never in a million years did I think it would come true. These things don’t happen to people like me; we go about living our lives like robots. Now I’m involved with not only one biker, but two. And who knows what’s going to happen next.
Saint showed up out of the blue in the middle of the night looking for Sinner. When he saw him sleeping, he explained that he’s Sinner’s best friend and asked if we could talk. I wasn’t going to turn him away. Sinner’s done so much for me, that the least I could do is be friendly to his best friend.
I quickly learned that Saint is nothing like the man I’ve come to look forward to spending time with. Where Sinner’s features are dark, Saint’s are light. The contrast is striking and confusing because they’re each beautiful.
He’s funny and a bit wild and wasn’t scared in the least bit to touch me. He treated me so sweetly at first, talking to me and complimenting me like I’m the prettiest thing he’s ever seen before. Guys I meet are either creepy about it or fall flat, but he had just the right mix of charisma. I don’t understand why Sinner didn’t bring him around sooner.
Saint’s name matches his face too. He reminds me of someone you’d read about but never actually see in person. I liked him nearly instantly and even more so when he leaned over and kissed me on my bed. After that, I didn’t want him to stop. I got his shirt off and let him touch me everywhere. I couldn’t help myself; I pictured his hands were Sinner’s sometimes too.
He caressed me in ways I’d been dreaming of Sinner doing, all the while telling me how special I am. He said I have to be different, for Sinner to take care of me like he has been. That has to mean something, right? I wish I knew how he felt; it would make everything so much easier.
“We’re home, baby,” he mutters randomly, gesturing toward the foliage out in front of us.
Peering at the scenery around us, I take in the quickly passing land. There are lots of trees and a dirt road that he drives over so fast, we could be flying. We drive through a giant open gate then hit a large paved parking area where an imposing building finally comes into sight.
Saint yanks up on the brake handle resting between us, causing the car to jerk and spin wildly. A scream breaks free as I grasp for something to hold on to and not get slung around. He must love it though because he hoots and howls, laughing as we spin, gunning the gas over and over.
A group of angry looking men come pouring outside, their hands shading their eyes to watch us as Saint slings random rocks around and smokes up the parking lot from burning tires.
I have to close my eyes after that because if I don’t, I’m sure that I’ll puke. “Pleeease stop, Saint.”
“I told you, baby, you call me daddy, just like you do my boy, Sinner. He may not appreciate it, but I think it’s sexy as fuck.”
“Okay-okay, just, please. I’m going to puke.” The nickname was a joke toward Sinner, meant to get under his skin, but Saint seems to enjoy the word falling from my mouth. He keeps reminding me that it turns him on. “For me, daddy, so I don’t get sick.”
He cackles at my begging, and the car comes to a stop, rocking as it finally halts in one spot.
It’s as if I’m still moving, even though the engine’s quieted to a near silent purr once again. Is this what a boat’s like? “Oh God, I don’t feel so well.”
I open my eyes again just as a monster sized man looking like a Nordic god storms toward the vehicle and nearly rips the door from the hinges. Impossible you’d think since they open upward, but this man’s so ripped, I’m sure he could tear it off if he wanted to. Yelping in surprise, the shock makes me freeze up, gawking as the scene unfolds right beside me.
“The fuck!” He roars and reaches in, grabbing Saint around the neck. He yanks him from the vehicle and slams his body across the hood like a rag doll. I’m about to scream again—this time for help—until I hear Saint laughing about it all.
“Damn, man! You need to drive this whip ASAP, Vike! Fucking a-mazing!”
My own door opens much less dramatically, and a grouchy guy wearing a frown nearly the same size as the one called “Vike” glowers down at me. He’s got a crazy scar on his face, the silver slashing through one of his mocha colored irises and dark, wavy, shoulder-length hair.
“Hi?” The question escapes in a high pitch, nearly a squeak.
His hand comes toward me, and my eyes widen as my heart rate again quickens. He watches, breaking out in a surprised chuckle after a moment, then flips it over, giving me his palm. It takes everything in me to swallow my fear down and place my much smaller hand in his.
The man helps me climb out, steadying me as I stand, which is a good thing, considering I’m quite wobbly. “Oh, thank you,” I acknowledge and hiccup, as I silently pray I don’t upchuck in front of all these guys.
“You all right, darlin’?” he mumbles as a shorter guy comes to stand next to him.
“Night, don’t be calling her that. Your ol’ lady hears that word leave your mouth, and you’ll be peelin’ her off this chick.”
Night, or whatever his name is, shrugs. “Brother, my woman knows she’s mine. This pint-sized woman looked like she was gonna be sick, and I don’t want her puking or sitting in the Russian’s car when he shows up. Unless you feel like cleaning up puke, Spidey?”
The other man shakes his head and offers me a kind smile.
Night grunts. “I’m Nightmare, this is Spider.” He gestures to the less buff, amused guy to his right.
“Um...hi,” I manage, with a brief wave that makes Spider snicker.
Can’t say I’m too surprised hearing the big dude’s name is Nightmare. And Spider for the other; that’s kind of creepy. He doesn’t strike me as strange right off the bat, though, so maybe he got it for another reason.
“Stop staring, Spidey,” he gripes. “Saint or Sinner catches you. I’m guessing Saint will be carving you up. They don’t go to the trouble for bitches, so this one must mean something or know something we don’t.”
Gee thanks. I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended. “I’m not a bitch; I’m Jude.”
Nightmare’s eyebrow hikes. “Hey, Jude. Do you have shoes in there?” He nods toward the vehicle, disregarding my proclamation.
My gaze falls to my feet...my bare feet. “Oh, shit. No, Saint pulled me out of the house so fast, I didn’t have a chance to stop and get any. I didn’t bring anything, actually,” I admit, wishing I’d at least have paused long enough to collect my purse and flip-flops.
Spider shoots a look I can’t decipher at Nightmare and then glances toward Saint, still pinned on the hood. “This is going downhill fast. We need to get her inside while we handle club shit. We don’t want certain people showing up with her out here.”
“Prez, what should we do with her?” he calls across the car, and ‘Vike’ scowls over at me.
“Fuck,” he grits, then nods toward the largest building. “Get the bitch inside.”
Okay, enough with the name calling. No wonder Sinner’s so freaking grouchy when he comes over, dealing with these guys. “My name is Jude! Use it!” I demand and nearly all their mouths drop open.
I may be young and polite and quiet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to stand my ground. Did any of them not just hear me screaming in that car? Clearly, I have a voice, and I’m able to be just as loud as they are. Instead, they act like a group of barbarians, speaking as if I’m not right here beside them.
A deep rumble grows near, and if I’d have to guess, I’d say its Sinner’s motorcycle. It’s been long enough for him to catch up to us—I think so, anyhow. He was not pleased in the least when Saint loaded me into the sports car with him, but I wasn’t about to pass up an adventure. Maybe I should’ve thought it through first.
“Viking?” Nightmare interrupts the sound of the bike, “You want her at the bar?”
Big guy waves me off. “Don’t fucking care where you stick her, just get her the fuck out of here.”
Jesus, is he a dick to everyone? That word seems to fit him; he’s not nice at all. I’m being shoved through the building door, just as I see Sinner come speeding into the parking lot on his motorcycle. He looks amazing straddling that motorcycle and also completely furious with a scowl the size of Texas on his face.
Pushing against Spider’s hold, I’m able to watch Sinner hop off his bike and practically run toward Saint, and then I’m inside with the freaking door blocked.
Sinner’s borderline manic as he strides toward me, fury written all over his striking features. The brothers leap between us, large bodies attempting to block us, with hands out to hold him back. He’s on a mission to cause some pain, no doubt. Everyone knows as well as I do that he’ll regret it after we’ve had a chance to cool down. You don’t stick together like we have and not have a few fights thrown in over the years.
“All this...for her?” It escapes me in a roar, my jealousy pointed in his direction.
I can be just as cross at him over the shit he’s pulled. I have every right. He’s lied to me for a female and for who knows how long. We’re supposed to be brothers. And he’s supposed to love me, just like I love him. Yet he’s been sneaking off for some pussy and then has the nerve to turn around and lie to my fucking face about it.
“Yes, for her, Saint. You don’t know shit about what’s goin’ on.” He peers around, eyeing the clubhouse. “Where is she?”
“I know you haven’t fucked her, ‘cause I had my fingers all up in that pussy last night, and it’s tight.” I spew the first hurtful thing that comes to mind. He’s merely arrived and already searching her out like some lost puppy. “Can’t wait to stick my cock in her. I bet the brothers will enjoy it too.”
He snarls, “Motherfucker!” lunging in my direction.
Exterminator and Nightmare move to hold him off, but I’m not sure it’ll work. Sinner’s the calm one of the two of us and to see him this angry, has me questioning everything. Does she mean more to him than me? It’s childish to think that way, but I do. He’s mine.
“You keep wasting time, Sin. She likes me already. I’ll take her, Sinner. I won’t let you have her. You’ll lose me and her both.”
The Prez scowls down at me. “Back the fuck off, Saint.” His forearm presses into my chest, holding me in place. “Sinner’s going to put a goddamn bullet in you and he’ll never forgive himself for that shit. Stop running your fucking mouth, brother. She’s just pussy.”
It takes all the self-restraint I have, and that’s not a lot I’m afraid, but I do it. My mouth clamps shut on the hate it wants to emit, and I attempt to climb my way back from the chaos I so greatly crave. I may be pissed off at Sinner, but I don’t want him to kill me. I don’t want him to bear that burden.
“Fine, just cage me up like you always do.”
“Can I let you go?” Viking probes, no longer applying as much pressure. He was holding me down with so much force, it felt as if he may crush my pecs under his massive arm. A few of us have caught his temper before, and the man doesn’t fuck around.
My foggy gaze meets his. “Let him kill me.”
“He’s not going to fucking kill you, brother. Christ, relax.”
“The hell I’m not!” Sinner interrupts, and the brothers break out in a varied chorus of ‘shut ups.’
“You never should’ve taken her, Saint. She’s not like me and you; she’s a good girl, damn it.”
“She wants to be really bad,” I supply with a shrug and get back to my feet as Viking gives me some space. He remains a barrier between us but stops touching me.
“It’s not your place to get her to be bad. Leave Jude alone,” Sin warns, spurring me on to reply.
Spitting, blood mixed with my saliva lands next to my feet. I must’ve bitten my cheek when Prez slammed me on the damn hood. “Go to Hell, Sinner.”
“We need to reel it the fuck in, right now, goddamn it,” the Prez orders. “Spider, take that Green-Goblin-looking fucking thing back to Masters. He’s at the fancy hotel down the road. I’ve already spoken to him over the phone, so he won’t put a bullet in ya. Nightmare, follow in Scot’s old truck and y’all get back here, quick.”
Spider’s face lights up, eager, as he rounds the car and hops in. He’s no doubt satisfied that he’s the one being tasked to take the chartreuse whip for a spin. Nightmare agrees and heads for the truck.
Prez’s scrutiny falls back to us. “Now, you two fuckers hash this shit storm out, inside preferably, without knives or guns involved.”
“No need for weapons, I can strangle him with my bare fucking hands,” Sinner mutters with a huff.
His comment makes me hoot with laughter, and in response, he beams a glare full of menace in my direction. He doesn’t realize that look does nothing but turn me on. Maybe we could go and fuck the anger out on Jude together. That is if he isn’t too busy coddling her like a fucking newborn.
We get inside, and I head to the bar, needing something strong to help wash down my frustration. If I can’t fuck or fight, then may as well drown the feelings a bit with some good ol’ fashioned liquor.
“Where is she?” He levels his gaze on me before flicking it around the room. She’s nowhere in sight though, and despite my irritation, it makes me want to laugh in his face again to be a dickhead.
Blaze places a tumbler with some Johnny Walker Black Label on the rocks in front of me and mixes a gin and juice for Sinner. “Spider brought a chick in a few minutes ago,” he comments, taking a drink of his soda that’d been resting on the beer cooler.
“That’s her,” Sin affirms.
“I had her go to the kitchen and make a sandwich.” The brother with tattooed flames up his arms gestures to the other room. “She said she hasn’t eaten today and I didn’t know if she was tweaking or whatever.” He shrugs, his cerulean irises filled with curiosity. “Figured it helps sober her up if anything.”
“She’s not on drugs.” Sinner’s grimace turns to me. “Unless you fucking gave her something? Is that what happened?”
Scoffing, I roll my eyes again. “I didn’t give the bitch shit, besides make her feel good. Something you obviously didn’t offer up.” His glass goes flying toward my head, and I duck. It makes me chuckle again.
“Fuck,” Blaze comments, grabbing a towel and broom. “This is bullshit. You wanna throw shit, don’t use my rocks glasses.” He strides from behind the bar to collect the shattered crystal. He doesn’t usually clean up our messes—we do that ourselves—but he obviously realizes Sinner’s one breath away from throwing blows.
Taking a sip of my liquor, I attempt to reason. “Tell me, Sin, how the fuck does she have you tied up in knots like this? It’s rare that I’m the calm one when shit pops off and you have me actually living up to my name right now.”
He mocks, his voice carrying just an ounce of too much bite. “You’re far from a saint.”
“Exactly. It’s good you fucking remember it too.” I hate fighting with him, but I have a right to be pissed off too. He fucking lied to me. After everything we’ve been through, he lies to me over a woman. I think that’s the part that has me the maddest.
Jude appears in the doorway, and Sinner hops up from his barstool, striding over to her. His hands cover her forearms, and the motion has me swallowing tightly.
Taking a large gulp to ease my thoughts, I stand as well, calling over to her. “Baby girl, tell our boy Sinner here, that I didn’t hurt you.”
Grinning widely, I approach them both wearing the look of innocence. It’s the same smile I offer up to bitches to make them believe I’m their dream man. Then they learn what I am when I fuck them until they scream and beg or offer them up to the gods. I’m not that way with everyone, but Lord knows I’m far from virtuous in any way.
She shakes her head, lips in a perfect pout. “No, Sinner, he didn’t hurt me. I promise.”
That’s it, baby, tell him what he needs to hear. I didn’t hurt her, but that’s not saying I wasn’t thinking about it in the beginning.
He runs a frustrated hand through his midnight locks, blowing out a heavy breath. “Let me take you home, sweetheart.”
Her brow wrinkles. “But I don’t want to go—not yet, anyway.”
Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I press a bit further. “See daddy, she wants to stay and have some fun.” Smirking, I tug her into my chest and away from him. “Wanna share how you got that pet name?” With an amused chuckle, I plant a chaste kiss on her left temple.
If he pisses me off, I’ll break her fucking neck right here in front of him. If he wants to play nice, then maybe I’ll just fuck her and let him take her home without drawing any blood. The outcome of her fate’s up to him. The best part of all, the brothers here won’t even blink at my decision. In fact, they’ll help me bury the body if needed.
Nibbling her lobe, I rasp, “I’m your daddy now; huh, baby?” She wants someone to spank her ass rosy and tell her what to do, that’s no problem for me. That’s one thing I’ve always been good at, and Jude’s just my type when it comes to women. She’s hotter than sin—young, dumb, and gullible—my favorite type to play with.
She gasps, and with wide eyes, she watches for Sinner’s reaction. His own gaze shutters as he hits me with an obscure look, “Fine,” he relents. “But if you’re not going home right now, then you’ll sleep in my bed tonight. No arguments, either.”
Her cheeks turn a delightful shade of rouge, giving away her intimate thoughts. She bites down on her plump lip for a moment, thinking it over. It’s no need though; we already know what she wants from the color gracing her flushed skin. “Deal,” she nods, agreeing a little too eagerly.
Yeah, fucking right, I don’t think so.
Sinner’s in my bed on the regular with whomever we choose to join us, together. He’s off his rocker if he thinks this bitch is going to be in his bed without me there to share it. I’m the one who brought her here after all.
We have an unspoken agreement; it’s been there for years. We’re together always. I watch his back, and he’s got mine. Same goes for fuckin’. We do it together, and it’s better that way. That’s one account as to why I was completely caught off guard when I found out he was hiding Jude from me. Of course, it made me instantly interested and a touch covetous.
Who’s this woman he’d lie for? And that he’d visit when he believed no one was paying him attention? Sinner’s mistake was overlooking that I always have him in mind. When I came to terms he wasn’t going to let me in on whatever he was up to, I had to go off and find out for myself. I can’t stand secrets, and this one didn’t bode well with me not knowing what it was.
I’d thought through everything trying to figure it out too. Was he running drugs by himself? Was he two-timing the MC and hitting up another club? Was he on drugs himself? None of it was adding up.
Never once did it remotely cross my mind that he’d be sneaking off for this woman. He doesn’t even like young chicks; his preferences are the older women. So, imagine my surprise when I figured out he wasn’t visiting the lady at the address his bike was parked at. She’s pretty much a ghost, and the only other one living there was a young woman registered in college.
Then when Jude answered the door last night, I was left speechless. Clearly, she’d been asleep. I don’t know how Sinner didn’t hear me, but she did. When she’d told me he’d drank a six-pack and passed out, I knew it was the perfect chance to find out just who the hell she is. For not being my brother’s usual type, she damn sure was right up my alley.
Her sleep tasseled hair and tired smile was a welcome sight to my groin. She greeted me with wide open arms practically. Her mistake. Getting close to her took no time at all. I could’ve snuffed her life out within minutes if I’d truly wished.
Her naiveté was so fucking adorable, and it was a turn on knowing she had two killers in her house, and she was clueless. I couldn’t keep my hands to myself—didn’t want to, and she welcomed me in no time at all. A few hours of innocent questions and flirting and it was like taking candy from a baby. She fell into the palm of my hand so easily it was almost boring—almost. There was still the fact it was all happening while Sinner was in the other room, keeping the bit of deception of my own exciting.
He thinks he can keep her all to himself, but he’s mistaken. She already wants me. I made sure of it. He’ll share, or I’ll kill her, it’s as easy as that. Sinner belongs to me; he always has. What’s his is mine...