They return to the compound, both covered in blood, and I know it went well. As well as it could’ve, that is. He takes her straight for the room. Downing my rum and pineapple juice, I jump off the barstool, about to trail behind.

I’m torn on what to do, though. Should I give them time alone? Part of me wants to check on her: touch her, look in her eyes, that sort of shit. The other piece of me wonders if it’d be better to let him have her to himself to comfort after what she just witnessed. That’s how it was after I first witnessed him doing a ritual. I needed his comfort. I’ve never cared so much before, and it’s driving me a little crazy inside.

“Brother.” Nightmare interrupts my conflicted pursuit before I have a chance to take a step in the direction of our rooms.

“Hey. How’d it go?” Fuck, I sound like an idiot. I shouldn’t be concerned so much; they’re grown-ass adults, and Saint’s, not in jail. That has to mean something.

He lets out a sigh, his gaze hitting the roof before coming back to mine. “Truth?”

I nod. Of course, I want him to tell me how it is. No sugarcoating shit around here with me. Ever.

He gestures to the bar, and I take my spot again as Blaze sets a longneck in front of my brother. “She cried the entire time,” he admits with a sigh. It had to be difficult to be a part of it as well, caring so much for his woman.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, but what did you expect? Saint doesn’t do shit halfway; you’re more aware of that than me.”

My gaze scans over him sitting next to me, noticing he’s free of any blood splatter. He must’ve held Jude far enough away that the blood she wears came from Saint’s hands only. It offers a tiny bit of peace, if anything. I’m sure the outcome would’ve been worse had it been sprayed on her directly. I can only imagine—she’d probably lose her lunch and pass out at that sight.

“I was worried she’d flip her shit and head for the cop shop.” My shoulders drop with the admission.

“Nah, she freaked, don’t get me wrong. But once she kissed Saint with blood all over him, I knew she was straight. She’s down with an entirely different level of crazy, brother. You don’t find women that’ll watch you kill somebody and not break. She stood strong, if not a bit scared. One thing’s for certain, she’s damn sure loyal to him.”

A relieved breath breaks free. “He kissed her like that?” I saw the dried blood on her face but hoped that was the extent of it.

“He did his usual shit with the blood and then painted her with it as well. She’s a sweet one. I was surprised she didn’t fall the fuck out at that. Especially after witnessing him slice into the shitbag...She sucked it up though and admitted she loves him. Hell, it wouldn’t faze me if she helped right beside him if he were to ask her at this point.”

My brows drop, my worry warping into something else entirely. That sounds a lot like blind devotion to me. It took years before I was able to stand with Saint and not let the blood taint me. I was convinced I was committing a sin, even if the men he killed were bad.

Now, I don’t get the feeling quite as strongly. There’s still the piece that nags in the back of my head though. That’s one of the main reasons why I attempt to be the voice of reason or put whoever he’s bleeding dry, out of their misery quickly. We’ve come across a couple really bad seeds that Saint’s sliced open and just let them drip out while they remain alive for days.

“What is it, brother?” His concerned gaze rakes over me, witnessing my expression change.

“Nothing,” I huff and shake my head.

Drinking from the fresh drink Blaze made me, I eventually stammer the truth out. “It’s just...she hasn’t even said that shit to me yet. And I’ve known her far longer now. I guess I believed she cared for me more.” Can’t believe I’m admitting it out loud; it sounds pathetic to my own ears.

“You’re overthinking it, Sin; he put her on the spot and asked her straight up.”

“Should I ask her like that, too, then?”

He shrugs. “Fuck if I know; chicks are confusing. I’ve never really understood them. One thing I have learned though, you get a chick that far gone for you, you hold on to her.”

“That’s the truth, and I’m trying to. That was the point of today anyhow. I’m ready for her to be on the back of my bike for good.”

“Look, do you love her?”

Unable to answer him aloud, I nod.

I don’t know when it happened—maybe a month ago, maybe two days ago. Who knows? But it happened. When I think of who has my heart, Saint’s not the only one filling that spot anymore. Jude has quite a big chunk of it, and I don’t want to lose her. It’s part of why she needed to find out about Saint.

“Maybe you ought to tell her how you feel. B was a stubborn bitch; I had to pretty much spell it out to get her locked down. You remember me packing her belongings up and moving her in the house. I didn’t give her a choice, even when she fought me on it. Our situation was a little different with my son involved, but you get the point I’m making.”

I remember him falling for Bethany; she had his nuts in a vice every time she was around. It’s surprising that one of them didn’t end up shooting the other with how much they were at each other’s throats at first. Now you’d look at them and not be able to imagine how they were ever apart, to begin with. Unless his ol’ lady’s pissed, then you hope to God she doesn’t scratch up your bike on accident attempting to get to Nightmare’s.

Same with Viking and Princess. Their relationship was out of the ordinary in the beginning, and yet they’re fully devoted to each other. I don’t think devoted is a strong enough word when it comes to them—more like obsessed. Viking wanted her from the moment he laid his eyes on her, and now they’re married.

Jude was a little different for me because I fought myself over her. And there’s also the complication of me being married to her mother. Which also reminds me; I need to call the club lawyer and find out what’s going on with the recent paperwork he’s filed with the court. We’re claiming she up and left right after we were married and hope that the judge grants an annulment.

“Did he say it back when she admitted how she felt?” I can’t let it go. I want every detail he has. Now I understand why Viking was such a dick when he was trying to lock it down with Princess.

“No, he went on chanting some stuff then kissed her. It was trippy,” he admits reluctantly, taking a long pull from his beer.

“I’m going to sit here awhile and let him take some time alone with her I think. Maybe he has some stuff he needs to say to her now.”

“This doesn’t fuck with you? Him wanting her and all?”

Shaking my head, I swallow another gulp and let the alcohol calm me. “If it were anyone else, it would, but not him.” I can’t let it, I don’t want there to be anything tearing us apart from each other or away from Jude.

“You love him too,” he states, and I agree. He tips his bottle my way, and I tap my glass to his. “Whatever makes you happy, brother,” he replies genuinely.

The acceptance from the brothers has been alarming, to say the least. Most I’ve known in the past would turn their noses up at our decision to have each other along with a woman. I don’t know why I ever worried about judgment being cast by my brothers on mine and Saint’s relationship. I should’ve known, they’d always have my back in whatever’s going down. Same as I’d have theirs.

When it comes down to it, Oath Keepers are more than just a brotherhood. They’re a family.

Saint tugs me along, and eventually, we end up in his room, alone. We passed Sinner by. I wanted to say something but never spoke up. I think my mind’s in shock at the moment over what just happened. Like it shouldn’t be real, but I know it is.

I just watched a man I care about kill someone and then drink their blood. That changes things in so many ways. He forewarned me, but I was dumb and brushed it aside. I should’ve listened. Next time, I will.

This means that Sinner is a killer too. No longer can I hide behind my naiveté about the things they’ve said. This whole time they were honest with me, and I disregarded it as over exaggeration. I was a fool not to see what was right in front of me.

These men are bad...yet I’ve fallen for them—both of them. Saint asked me if I love him, and despite the gruesome scene, I spoke the truth. I do. I love them both.

The part that has my mind so confused is where do we go from here? Does he kill me now because I know his secret? He said Sinner wanted me to see the other side of him. Does this mean I’m more to him than just another woman to warm his bed? It has to.

“Saint?” His name falls from my lips sounding a bit rough. My throat’s sore from trying to scream through Nightmare’s hand. What a mess.

“Shhh, baby. I’ll take care of you.”

He heads for the bathroom and turns the shower on full blast then steps back in front of me. Carefully he peels my now ruined shirt free, following with my shorts and underwear, throwing them toward his over-filled hamper. “Beautiful.” His compliment’s like a tender kiss after a long day.

Linking our fingers together he leads me to the shower. The room’s already filling with steam, embracing me in its warm cocoon. “Let’s clean you up.” He holds me steady; helping me as I climb over the threshold then tosses his own clothes away. Naked Saint is one of my favorite things to see; he’s breathtaking—even completely dirty.

“Why are you doing this?” The words scratch as I utter them, attempting to understand what everything means and where we go from here.

“’Cause I’m gonna take care of you, same as our boy, Sinner. I won’t let anything bad happen to either of you.”

“Is that why you showed me?”

The hot jets of water tumble over my hair as he climbs in behind me. He pulls me into his body, securing me to him with his strength. His embrace is full of comfort; I want to bask in it forever. He’s not massively built like some of the other members, but he’s definitely solid with his own striking set of muscles.

“Part of it. The sacrifice is an important part of my Indian heritage. Killing that scum was to show you that I can protect you when needed. I always fight for what I think is right. Sometimes the cost is blood. I also wanted to see how far your acceptance ran.”

“You killed for Sinner.” It’s not a question; I already know the answer deep down.

“I did, and I would again without a second thought. I will kill for you if it comes to it,” he states, moving my body to face him. My breasts press into his chest as he hugs me tightly, helping mend the pieces I feel are so scattered.

Meeting his gaze as the water beats down on my back, I lean up on my tiptoes. He easily reads my intentions, dipping his head so I can reach his lips. “I meant it, Saint,” I promise and push my lips to his.

The kiss is different from those in the past. It’s loving and full of compassion. His lips move unhurriedly, allowing his tongue to love my mouth. It’s everything that means so much, wrapped up into the mating of mouths.

He’s feeling guilty for putting me through that ordeal; it’s pouring off him. One hand holds me to him tightly as if he’s scared to let me go, while his other cradles my face in his palm. We stand there kissing for what must be minutes even though it feels like longer. All I know is he sweetly coaxes my tongue with his until the waters washed away any remnant of the dried blood from them.

It could be an eternity, and yet, suddenly that doesn’t feel like enough. I’m going to need this man in my life long after any word such as forever can encompass. He’s shared his darker side with me, yes...but he’s also opened his soul and made a place for me.

Pulling away enough so I can speak, I rest my forehead against his scruffy cheek. “I want you.”

“You have me.” He promises and grabs a bar of soap. Lathering it up, he spreads bubbles all over the two of us until the water begins to turn cold. With goosebumps covering our skin, we quickly rinse the soap and turn the water off.

He leads me to his bed, pushing me down. Our wet bodies get the covers wet. My hair fans out around me, and he gazes at me with such lust and heat, unlike he’s ever looked at me before. Sure, I knew he wanted me, but nothing like this. It’s as if he’s seeing me for the first time.

His hands trail up over my knees. The callused palms follow over my thighs and spread my legs as he nears the juncture encasing my core. Planting his knees between them, he stares down at me, taking every inch of me in. His disheveled appearance—wet hair going in every direction and his unshaved face—makes him even more enticing.

“Saint?” Sighing his name, I bite down on my bottom lip unsure what he wants me to do. I’m his to use up as much as he desires.

“You’re getting what you want,” he mutters scooting down until his face is so freaking close to the spot where I’ve been craving his touch. His palms graze my flesh, stopping on each side to push my legs apart even more. Saint’s presented with an up close and personal view of my pink center.

It takes everything not to squirm away. I want him there, but at the same time, I’m bashful about it. “Baby, if I’m going to lick it, I damn sure plan to look my fill.” The tip of his nose softly runs over the delicate skin, as he inhales my scent. Shallow breaths escape my lips in anticipation.

He dives in with a pleased grumble along the way. “Fuckin’ perfection.” His blissful assault begins with long strokes, making his tongue flat. The movements of his skilled mouth cause me to gasp in response, silently wishing for him to never stop.

“Oh God.” The moan leaves me breathlessly, my eyes rolling heavenward.

“Nope, just me,” he groans, planting his lips on my clit where he begins to suck. The sensations have my hips jumping, and in return he plants his hand in the middle of my stomach, gripping me to the mattress.

“Yes!” The words escape on a hiss as my arms fly up, my own hands tangling in my wet hair. I don’t know what to do with them, so I tug on the locks, the zing of pain adding to my pleasure.

He uses his free hand to take turns filling me with his tongue and fingers, my climax storming ahead full steam. My minds’ in a blissful haze, distracted so much that I don’t hear when Sinner comes into the room with us. One minute Saint’s tongue’s inside me, and the next, he’s sitting back with lust coating his gaze, my wetness on his chin.

“You joining us?” he rasps and Sinner nods, eyes pinned on me as he strips clothes off. “How do you want it?”

“I’ll lay down, Saint; let me have a turn at tasting Jude,” he replies, never breaking his stare. “You hear me, Jude? I want your pussy on my lips, sweetheart.”

Clearing my throat, I scramble on to my knees and scoot over for him, my core still throbbing with need. He tosses his clothes and lies down as Saint grabs a bottle of lube from the dresser. He tugs me over, having me straddle his mouth and face Saint. These men aren’t intimidated whatsoever to be up close and personal with every inch of me; if anything, the closer, the better.

Sinner lets lose a gruff sounding growl, vibrating my sensitive parts as Saint coats him in lube, wetting his cock and his ass. My eyes are wide as I watch, enraptured as Saint pushes the lube inside Sinner, eventually positioning his cock to enter him. At the same time Saint carefully drives forward, he pumps Sinner’s dick with his free hand, abs constricting in response.

This is new to me too; they haven’t been so open together like this. I’d wondered if they’d been together at all more than kissing and touching. Clearly, they have, and it’s beyond sexy.

Saint gets a rhythm going as Sinner eats my pussy like a man possessed and eventually leans in, his kiss erotic against my lips. Pleased moans leave me between gasps for breath and teasing tangles with his tongue. I never could’ve imagined anything so freaky in my life. This is the type of thing that happens in dreams, and here I am in real life, living it.

Saint’s drives turn hasty as he chases his orgasm, becoming lost in the feelings of his blissful reward, and Sinner’s groans get buried in my pussy as he continues his assault, not stopping until I climax. “Saint!” I sing their names with a satisfied moan. “Sinner, yes!” He holds me down, not letting up as my high spikes and plummets, my body on its own private roller coaster.

With a deep groan, Sinner’s come coats his muscular stomach, jets shooting in every direction. It pushes Saint over the edge as he palms my breast in one hand and watches Sinner finish. “Fuck!” Saint shouts, his eyes slamming closed as he fills Sinner with his own pleasure.

As my body hits the mattress, the thoughts pour through my mind of what today has shown me. I love these two men, and I can only hope they eventually grow to love me back. I can’t imagine going back to my old life and not having them around to constantly keep my body on edge. Or to not feel the warmth surrounding my heart each time one of them kisses me.

I’m way past wanting them...I need them. They’re mine.