Chace’s party was fast approaching, and the closer it got, the more nervous I became. I shouldn’t have been going. He hated me. Hated. And the feeling was mutual. But both Indie and Ryder were convinced I needed to be there. Closure or something. I was pretty sure I got that closure the night he texted me and told me that I was the worst girlfriend ever. But at the same time, I understood Ryder’s point of view, too. Imagine the look on Chace’s face when I showed up to his party with Ryder and didn’t even give him a second—or first—glance. Yeah, that would be sweet. And besides, I had to be there for the moment Indie finally got to meet Jayden.
She had been bugging Ryder every day now for almost a whole week about his soccer teammate. She wanted to know all there was to know about him, and she was driving poor Ryder absolutely crazy. I couldn’t help but laugh. Her questions reminded me so much of Ryder’s stupid twenty-questions back in the bookstore over the summer holidays. I was pretty sure Ryder was about ready to explode if Indie asked him one more time what Jayden’s favourite colour was.
“How the hell should I know?” was all he replied before pressing a swift kiss to the corner of my mouth and taking off to Friday night’s soccer practice.
Indie insisted we go shopping for clothes to wear to Chace’s party the following week, “before all the skanks get the good stuff,” as she so eloquently put it. I didn’t feel like shopping. I hated shopping, and it wasn’t the way I wanted to spend my eighteenth birthday. But I didn’t tell Indie that, because then she’d know it was my birthday. I’d never been one to make big deals out of birthdays and didn’t want to start now, so I kept my mouth shut.
“You want to show him what he’s missing, don’t you?” she asked when she pulled into the parking lot.
“No, not really. I don’t care what he thinks. I’m with Ryder,” I told her. And it was true. I didn’t care what Chace thought anymore. Ever since I came to the realisation I was over him, I’d been watching him and Christina and wondering what I ever saw in him as a boyfriend or her as a friend.
Christina wasn’t a nice person. She was self-centred and conceited and thought everyone owed her something. She was a bitch and treated people like crap. And Chace, well, as Ryder once put it, he was a douche. I must have been blind or stupid when I fell for him. Honestly, he and Christina were perfect for each other. They were conniving, backstabbing, and threatening toward anyone who stood in their way. Christina was the best, though. I’d copped quite a few threats from her since that run-in at the bookstore. Apparently, she was still hung up on the fact that Chace got mad at me for being with Ryder at the drive-in and acting like a hussy. A hussy? Me? I wasn’t the one who stole my best friend’s boyfriend. I wasn’t the one who was caught in the janitor’s closet with my boyfriend’s hand up my skirt—Ryder may have tipped off the headmaster about that—but, you know, I was a hussy according to Christina that day she backed me into a locker and threatened to end me in a typical mean girl cliché “I made you. I can end you” kind of way. I told her I’d learned from the best before shoving her out my way and going to kiss Ryder.
Kissing Ryder always brightened my day.
“Okay, fine. But I want to look hot when you introduce me to Jayden.” Indie laughed, linking her arm through mine and leading me towards the shops. She had been talking about meeting Jayden non-stop all freaking week, and I swore if I never heard his name again…I was almost tempted to drag her to watch Ryder play soccer on Wednesday night so that she could see Jayden. I almost missed her pining after Lincoln. Almost.
After four hours of walking into store after store and indulging in some pampering, we finally headed to the food court to get some dinner. Our arms were laden with shopping bags containing our newly purchased outfits. Our hair was freshly coloured, our nails manicured and out toes painted. We were ready to party.
While we were sitting there eating our burgers and fries, my phone buzzed with a text from Ryder.
Ryder: I’m bored. Entertain me ;)
Entertain him? What does he expect me to do?
Me: Don’t you have friends you can hang out with? I’m having dinner with Indie.
Ryder: Ditch her.
Me: I can’t do that.
Ryder: I’m your boyfriend. You can ditch her for me.
Me: You’re my friend. You’re my fake boyfriend in public. I can’t ditch her.
Ryder: Please.
Me: No
Ryder: Please.
Me: No
“You texting Ryder?” Indie questioned, startling me. Why did he want to see me so badly?
“Ah yeah, how did you know?” I could have been texting anyone. Okay, maybe not anyone since Indie was my only friend, but it could have been my mother. Wow! That was pathetic.
“That funny look you get on your face whenever you speak about him, talk to him, see him, or even just think about him.” I had no idea what she was talking about. What funny look? She was crazy.
“I do not get a stupid look.”
“Oh, you do. Trust me. You’ve got it bad.” Got it bad? No, I couldn’t have it bad. It was fake. She must have just been seeing what she wanted to see.
“No, I don’t. This is all so new still. I’m still getting over Chace and—”
“Oh, bulldust. It’s been what? Almost three months since you broke up?”
Had it been that long? I did a quick calculation in my head and realised it had. Ryder and I had officially been fake dating for just over a month. Yikes!
“You don’t care what Chace thinks. You said so yourself. Besides, you never once looked at Chace the whole time you were together the way you look at Ryder now.” I rolled my eyes at her. I didn’t look at Ryder like anything.
“And do tell, Indiana. How do I look at Ryder?” This should be good.
“Like you want to eat him.” She winked and burst out laughing at the look on my face before continuing. “And it’s been what? A month officially? Longer if you count the time you spent hanging out beforehand. Don’t tell me you don’t get a funny look or that you don’t have it bad, because you do. It’s so obvious to everyone. Not just me.” She shoved a ketchup-covered fry in her mouth and grinned at me.
“Obvious?” I was unsure how anything could be obvious when nothing was going on.
“Yeah, obvious to everyone but you, clearly.” She reached over a grabbed my hand when I gave her a confused look. “Okay, look, it’s clear to everyone how much you and Ryder like each other. The way you look at each other and behave around each other, it’s like there’s this huge-ass magnet that draws you to each other no matter where you are or what you are doing. It’s intense to watch. You and Ryder, it’s real. Maybe you guys just haven’t figured it out yet. Forget Chace. Forget Christina. How does Ryder make you feel?”
I had no idea how to answer that. She said it was real, and we hadn’t figured it out yet. Was she right? Did that mean she believed Ryder liked me? No, of course not. He wasn’t interested. It was his idea to do this. He wanted payback more than I did. I was just in a vulnerable enough place to agree to it at the time. I thought about how I felt around Ryder. I felt like me. I felt comfortable. Like I could finally fit it somewhere and the awkwardness of the past two years was gone.
“Well?” She raised her eyebrow at me expectantly.
“He makes me feel real. Like I’m not pretending to be something or someone I’m not.” I had to stifle a laugh when I said that because that was exactly what I was doing—pretending to be his girlfriend. “I’m at ease when I’m around him. Comfortable. When we’re together, we can talk for hours. Or we can sit in silence and it’s not awkward. Nothing feels forced. I have a confidence I’ve never had before because of him. I don’t care what people think of me, and I don’t care about Chace or Christina anymore. I’ve moved on and become a happier, more content person because of him. He makes me smile. He makes me laugh. He makes my stomach flutter like I’ve never felt before.” I paused to look at Indie. She had this big grin on her face.
“And?” she asked.
“He makes me happy,” I admitted, nodding. Ryder made me happy. I would have been a complete mess if it weren’t for him. Indie sat back and squealed in delight, clapping her hands together like a child.
“You looooooooove him.”
Loved him? No, absolutely not. I was attracted to him, yeah. Who wouldn’t find him hot as hell? That thick curly hair that looked good tied up, those gorgeous green eyes, the cute dimples when he smiled and the deep husky voice that had the ability to make girls swoon, me included.
I didn’t want to consider it before, but it made sense now. I was scared to tell him I was over Chace because I didn’t want to fake break up and lose him from my life. I hated seeing him hurt—even just the thought of him getting hurt gutted me. Our personal contact had increased to the point where we were acting like a couple when no one could even see us. I would play with his hair, hold his hand, and grab his ass. He would keep an arm wrapped around me or trace his fingertips over my hips and stomach. He would press soft kisses to my shoulders, forehead, and the corner of my mouth. Our kisses were getting more frequent and intense, and we tended to get a little bit carried away sometimes. Like a few days ago in the kitchen at the roadhouse when Ryder finally cooked for me. It was easy to lose control around him when he made me feel so good. When he made me need him.
Holy crap! I liked Ryder. I did. I had feelings for Ryder Jones. Real, crazy feelings that I had never felt before. Was it love? No, I didn’t think so. But it was more than just physical attraction. I needed him in so many ways. What the hell was I supposed to do now?
“I need him.” I groaned. “It’s not love.” I shook my head slowly and looked at her. She looked like she was about to burst with excitement.
“Well, what are you doing sitting here with me? Go!” She began waving me away with both hands.
“What?” I wasn’t leaving her here to see Ryder. No way. What would I say to him? Did I even tell him the truth? No, that would be stupid. He’d just laugh in my face and either fake break up with me or make my life a living hell while we were still pretending to be in a relationship.
“You’ve just realised how much you like your super-hot boyfriend. You shouldn’t be here with me. You should make him understand how much he wants you too.”
“You’re crazy. We’re having a girls’ day. I can see Ryder tomorrow. So what are we doing now?”
“I am making you visit your gorgeous boyfriend.” She smiled and stood up, grabbing all of her bags and mine too.
“No, honestly. I will hang out with you. Ryder can wait.” I tried to argue with her, but it was useless.
“Bailey, your phone hasn’t stopped buzzing for the last ten minutes. He wants to see you, so go. Please. I’m all right. I’m kinda tired anyway, so an early night will be good for me.” I agreed reluctantly after I looked at my phone and saw ten new messages from Ryder all saying the same thing.
Ryder: Please.
He was begging me to visit him, and I had to admit that I wanted to see him too, but I was nervous about it.
I texted Ryder and asked for his address. Even though we’d been hanging out a lot, I’d never been to his house. After I dropped Indie home, I nervously made my way to Ryder’s house. By the time I got there, my heart was pounding out of my chest, and butterflies were erupting in my stomach. My hands shook as I knocked on the door and waited.
“Hello.” For some reason, I was surprised when a woman answered the door. She had long, wavy, brown hair and bright green eyes like Ryder. Ryder’s mother. I didn’t know why I expected him to be home alone. It just never occurred to me that he wouldn’t be.
“Ah, hi.” I smiled nervously at her, feeling uncomfortable showing up on a Friday night to see her son, but she didn’t seem to mind. Giving me a warm smile, she pulled the door open wider for me, gesturing for me to enter. Maybe Ryder brought girls home a lot and his mother was used to meeting them. That thought made my stomach churn.
“You must be Bailey, Ryder’s girlfriend. I’m Joan.” Girlfriend? Huh? Had he told his mother I was his girlfriend, or did she know it’s all fake?
“Yes, it’s nice to meet you. Sorry for coming by so late.” I apologised even though it was only 9:30 p.m., which wasn’t that late on a Friday.
“Oh, nonsense. Don’t apologise. I’m just happy to meet you finally. I was beginning to think Ryder had made you up or something.” She laughed, flashing dimples just like Ryder’s.
“Oh no. I’m real.” I shifted uncomfortably, unsure how to take that comment. Ryder had told her about me. She believed I was his girlfriend. That was weird.
“Yes, you are. Anyway, Ryder is upstairs. You can go on up. Third door on the left.” She smiled and walked off, leaving me standing there dumbstruck for a moment. I made my way up the stairs, my heart pounding harder with each step I took closer to Ryder’s room. Finally reaching the door, I wondered whether I should knock or just walk in. Knocking was probably better in case he was busy or something. Raising my fist to knock on the door, I hesitated again.
This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have come. I was a nervous wreck. I liked Ryder more than I realised, and there I was standing outside the door to his room where he was alone and waiting for me. I couldn’t do this. Why did Indie have to make me realise my feelings? I was happy being ignorant and only thinking we were friends. This was too much pressure. I was about to turn around and walk away when the door suddenly opened and I was face-to-face with Ryder’s naked chest.
I gulped.
“Bailey, what are you doing?” he asked, tugging on my wrist and pulling me into his room, closing the door behind us.
“I uh. uhm…I was…” I stuttered, unable to stop staring at his toned chest and stomach. My eyes drifted to the v defining his hips, and my mouth went dry. Oh wow!
“I was about to knock.” I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. I couldn’t let him know how I felt. But apparently, my ogling was too obvious.
“Like what you see, love?” He smirked at me. Damn him for being so attractive and knowing it. Sighing in defeat, I nodded, admitting it, which only made him smile widely, showing off those dimples.
“What were you doing out there so long?” he asked. “I didn’t think you were ever going to knock.” As he threw himself down on the maroon-coloured comforter, I contemplated running away. I stood there and stared at him awkwardly before shifting my gaze around the room. There was a large desk in the corner piled high with books, a hamper under the window overflowing with clothes, and a tall dresser by the door. Aside from the random posters of girls and cars on his walls, his room was relatively neat and clean. Surprising for a guy.
I glanced at the bed and back to him again, twirling a strand of my hair nervously. He patted the bed beside him, indicating it was okay for me to sit there, but I didn’t. I stayed standing in the middle of the room. Not trusting myself, or him. We tended to get a bit carried away. A bit caught up in the moment. And if a bed was involved, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to keep control of the situation.
“Bailey, what’s wrong?” Ryder asked, sitting up and crossing his long legs in front of him.
“Nothing.” I shook my head and twisted my hands together, trying to avoid eye contact with him. I liked him and didn’t know how to behave around him now.
“You’re very quiet.” He eyed me carefully.
“I met your mother. She thinks I’m your girlfriend,” I blurted out.
“Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot to tell you that.” He shrugged like it was nothing and offered no further explanation. Was he okay with her thinking this was real?
“Come here.” He reached his hand out toward me, and I looked at it suspiciously. Snap out of it, Bailey. I took slow steps toward him and allowed him to grasp my hands, letting out a yelp when he pulled on my hands, making me fall forward and stumble onto the bed. He laughed as I shifted into a sitting position.
“You’re acting weird, Bailey. Just relax. What the hell is wrong with you?” His tone was harsh and annoyed, and I knew I was confusing him, but I just felt out of my depth. I had no idea how to act around him or how to hide my feelings. I felt him move on the bed behind me. His large hands clasped my shoulders as his long fingers began massaging and kneading the tight muscles in my shoulders and neck. I let out a soft moan at the scorching feeling of his hands on my skin.
“I don’t know what’s got into you, but you need to snap out of it,” he growled in my ear. His rough tone and soft actions contradicted each other. It was a strange but soothing combination. I liked the dominance in his voice but at the same time loved the gentle, caring way he touched me.
“We have a date tomorrow night. You need to be on your game, not acting nervous and crap like you are now,” he whispered harshly in my ear before pressing his teeth into the crook of my neck and sucking gently, making me completely forget about the mention of a date. A date that I didn’t remember agreeing to.
I gasped and rolled my head back to rest on his shoulder. That was going to leave a mark. I could feel Ryder’s bare chest pressing into my back; his arms encircling my waist as he pulled me back so I was sitting on his lap. My nails dug into his wrists as he continued kissing and sucking the sensitive skin along my neck while tickling circles on my stomach.
“Bailey.” He groaned my name. “If you don’t stop wriggling, we are going to have a problem.” His breath was warm on my neck, and I didn’t even realise I had been moving.
“Sorry.” I turned my head to look at him and saw his green eyes alight, blazing into mine. My eyes dropped to his lips and watched as they parted instinctively when he dragged his tongue across the bottom one before pulling the stud into his mouth. He cleared his throat.
“Ah, we should probably stop now.” His voice was gravelly and husky. I dropped my eyes to my lap before pushing off him and moving to the other side of his bed, putting distance between us.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. Even though I knew he was right—we had to stop before things went too far—I couldn’t help but feel hurt and rejected. Bloody Indie making me realise my feelings just made everything worse.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said. I kept my eyes down. I didn’t want him to see the hurt that I was sure was evident in them.
“Bailey, look at me.” He crawled over the bed to me and tilted my face up so I had to look at him.
“I’m sorry. When I’m with you, I lose all sense of right or wrong. You make me lose control, and I don’t want to do anything that will hurt you.” I wasn’t sure what he was trying to say or whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, so I just nodded my head slowly, wishing that he would change the subject.
“Believe me when I say I didn’t want to stop then. I want to lose control with you, but I know that it’s not right. You’re not one of those girls, and I don’t want you to become one.” He pressed his lips to mine briefly. I stared at him for a moment, frozen. I tried to take in everything he had just said, but I was just more confused than before.
“I got you something,” he said, thankfully changing the subject.
“You did? Why?” I raised my eyebrow at him, wondering what he’d gotten me and why. He grinned and lay down on his stomach to reach under the bed. He pulled out a small package neatly wrapped in purple paper.
“Open it,” he said, handing it to me with wide eyes.
“Ryder, you shouldn’t have got me anything. I can’t accept this.” I tried to hand it back.
“Open the damn gift, Bailey,” he snapped before softly adding a please and gently kissing my cheek.
I peeled off the paper quickly and carefully trying not to make him any angrier. I saw a small velvet box. I looked at him with wide eyes. He nodded his head in encouragement, so I lifted the lid and gasped at what I saw.
“Ryder, this is too much. Why?” I asked, eyeing the beautiful charm bracelet lying delicately on purple silk inside the box.
“Do you like it?” he asked, ignoring my previous question.
“Yes, it’s beautiful but—”
“But nothing. It’s yours. Be grateful and wear it.” He took it from the box before gently clasping it around my wrist.
“The charms, they’re—” I started to ask about the charms he’d chosen.
“They’re all things we’ve done together. Rides to school together,” he said, pointing out the car. “Eating at the diner.” He indicated to the hamburger before moving to a ladder. “Climbing the water tower.”
“Hanging out at the bookstore,” I said when his fingers brushed the small book charm.
“Yes, and making out at the drive-in.” He grinned, turning the bracelet slightly so I could see the little movie reel.
“And finally, celebrating your eighteenth birthday,” he said, lifting the silk in the box to reveal an eighteen charm. I gasped and stared at him in surprise.
“Happy Birthday, Bailey,” he whispered. He hooked the charm onto my bracelet. He knew it was my birthday. How? I was just about to ask him when he pressed his lips to mine, making me forget all about my birthday.