Ryder took me to an all-night diner just outside of town. It was part of the roadhouse on the highway that went straight past Blackhill.
“I didn’t even know this place was here,” I said to him as he pulled open the grubby glass door and gestured for me to enter. The smell of brewed coffee and fried meat hit me as soon as I stepped inside.
“Best burgers in the state,” he whispered in my ear as he leant down. I felt his hand on the bottom of my back as he gently pushed me toward a booth in the corner. I looked around the diner while we waited for the waitress to come and take our orders. The whole place was done in lime green and chrome, but it had a very fifties retro feel to it. I liked it.
“Best burgers? Really?” I asked him as he sat across from me, playing with the saltshaker.
“Yep, usually. But tonight, I think they’re gonna suck.” He laughed and looked over my shoulder.
“Why do you think that?” I was confused as to why the burgers would be no good if they were the best in the state and why he’d taken me there if the food wasn’t going to be good. He was acting very weird.
“Well, the cook who makes the best burgers isn’t on tonight. It’s his night off, so we’re stuck with—Oh, hey, Johnny!” Ryder smiled, and I looked up to see a man approach us with a spatula in his hand and a very greasy apron around his waist. “We’re stuck with Johnny’s awful cooking.”
“Ryder, you can’t say that.” I glared at him, hardly believing he could be so rude, especially when the cook was standing right next to our table. But Ryder just laughed, and so did Johnny. I frowned.
“Ah, don’t listen to anything this boy says, pretty lady.” Johnny winked at me. “He’s just jealous and wishes he could cook like me. Two orders, kid?” Johnny nudged Ryder in the shoulder. What did Johnny mean—cook like him?
“Thanks, man.” Ryder tilted his chin in acknowledgement.
“Sure, sure. You going to introduce me to your friend here, or should I introduce myself?”
“Johnny, this is Bailey, a…a…uhm…” Ryder looked at me with wide eyes. He didn’t know what to introduce me as. A friend? A girlfriend? A fake girlfriend?
“A friend from school.” I smiled and answered for him. It was the simplest explanation.
“Uh-huh…Bailey? I’ve heard—” Johnny started to say something, but Ryder cut him off.
“Bailey, this is Johnny. He’s the cook here most days. And my very busy boss who should be back there behind the grill and not out here annoying the customers.” Ryder stared at Johnny. I looked between them both and tried to work out what was going on. Johnny had a small smirk on his face as if he was hiding something. Ryder was glaring at him with a clenched jaw.
“Well, it was great to meet you, pretty Bailey, but you heard the kid. I got burgers to fry.” He smiled and walked off back toward the kitchen, whistling the tune from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work I go.
I turned to Ryder, and he winced slightly. “Sorry about him. He can be a real fu—”
“It’s okay. I liked him. So you work here, huh?” I didn’t even know he had a job.
“Yeah, I started here a few years ago as a way of paying for the damage I caused. But then drama happened and the cash came in handy, so I stayed. It’s a good place. Johnny is the greatest,” he said, somewhat cryptically.
“Damage?” I asked, but I was more interested in knowing about the drama.
“Yeah, here.” He moved the napkin holder and the small tray holding the sugar jar and salt and pepper out of the way. He lifted the ketchup and mustard bottles and pointed at the table. I leant in closer to see what he was showing me, and that was when I saw Ryder’s name carved into the green Formica tabletop.
It was rough and jagged, like he’d been using a blunt knife, but it was there. And so was the heart directly under his name. I didn’t know if the heart was from him or if someone had added to it later. It wasn’t carved as deep as his name.
“Ryder loves?” I smirked at him, waiting for him to respond.
“Ah, no one. It was a long time ago. I was a stupid kid with a stupid crush.” If I wasn’t mistaken, his cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. Oh my God. I made Ryder Jones blush.
“Okay. But I thought you had to fix the damage. It’s still there.”
“No, I said I had to pay for the damage, not fix it. Johnny decided to leave it there as a reminder to me of…of…” He trailed off, not wanting to discuss it further. It was obviously a touchy subject, so I decided not to push it.
“And you make the best burgers in the state, huh?”
“Hell yeah, I do. You’ll see one day. I’ll cook for you.” He smiled widely. I had no choice but to smile back. When he smiled that big and that brightly, it was like a force of nature. You couldn’t help but feel happy, too.
“I like to see you smile, Bailey. You should do it more.”
“I don’t have a lot to smile about these days, Ryder. Except you,” I told him honestly.
“Well then, I’m just going to have to work harder to get you to smile more then.” He stared at me for a moment while I tried to figure out what he was thinking—why he would care if I smiled or not. I was no one to him. We hadn’t spoken in years until that day in the parking lot last year.
“Ryder, sweetie, it’s good to see you.” A voice interrupted our staring match. I jerked back in surprise, not even noticing I had been staring straight back at him.
“Hi, Julie. This is—” Ryder sat back and smiled at the waitress, who was carrying two plates, each loaded with a burger and fries.
“Bailey. I know. I heard.” She smiled and set a plate down in front of me before doing the same for Ryder. I didn’t miss the sneaky wink she gave him as she turned to the table behind us. Ryder blushed. Ew! She was old enough to be his mother.
“So she’s…?” I started to ask him, but I didn’t know what I wanted to ask. I knew Ryder had a reputation with the girls at school, but did it go beyond that? Did it extend to older women as well? Surely not!
“She’s Johnny’s wife. They own this place,” he said, taking a bite out of his burger.
“Oh right. What was with the wink?” I decided just to throw it out there and ask, hoping that it meant nothing.
“You saw that, huh?”
I nodded and placed a fry in my mouth while I waited for him to explain.
“That was, uhm…nothing. Johnny’s got a big mouth. He would have run straight out the back to Julie and told her I was here with a cute girl, that’s all.” Ryder shrugged and continued eating his burger. Johnny’s eyes did light up when Ryder introduced me. Like he was shocked that Ryder had brought a girl or something.
Ryder thought I was cute?
“Try your burger, Bailey,” Ryder said as I picked up another fry. I dropped the fry and rolled my eyes at him before grabbing the burger and taking a huge bite. I almost moaned, it was so good. No, scratch that. I did moan.
“Oh my God.” My eyes rolled back into my head as I chewed slowly, savouring the taste of the juicy burger.
“Good?” Ryder asked with a cheeky smile on his face.
“So good,” I mumbled through another bite.
“Damn, I can’t wait for you to try mine then.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“Shut up.” I laughed and threw a fry at him, which he somehow managed to catch in his mouth.
After we’d finished eating and said goodbye to Johnny and Julie, Ryder grabbed my hand and dragged me outside.
“I want to show you something.” He started running, pulling me along behind him. We ran down the side of the Roadhouse and around the back to a field.
“Ryder, where are we going?” I asked, pulling him to a stop. It was dark out, and the smell of grass was tickling my nose. As I looked around the open area, there was nothing but a water tower.
“There.” Ryder pointed to the tower and pulled on my arm again. We ran through the grass into the quiet night. The only sounds I could hear was our heavy breathing and the crickets chirping in the distance. When we reached the tower, I turned to look at Ryder. He was smiling like a kid at Christmas.
“Come on.” He started climbing the ladder that led to the top of the water tower. Uh…no, I don’t think so. I wasn’t afraid of heights or anything. I was scared of falling to my death. “Bailey, come on. It’s safe. You’ll be okay,” he called down to me when he realised I wasn’t climbing after him. I stared up at him, and he stared down at me. I heard him sigh before starting to climb back down.
“I’m sorry, but it’s dark, and what if I fall?” I said as he jumped off the ladder to land in front of me.
“You won’t fall. What if you climb first and I follow? That way I can catch you or at least fall with you and break your fall,” he suggested heroically. Dammit, he had that smile on his face again. The one that made me smile. The one that would have made me agree to anything. Even falling to my death.
So I climbed the ladder with Ryder right behind me. “You know, I’m quite enjoying this view,” he called out to me. I looked down to see him staring up at me with a giant grin on his face.
Whoa, big mistake! I realised how high we were and entirely forgot that Ryder was checking me out as I climbed. All I could see was the forty thousand-foot drop to my death. I hugged myself to the ladder and couldn’t move. I froze as the world started spinning, threatening to throw me off the ladder. My breathing shallowed out again, and I gasped for air.
“Damn, Bailey.” I heard Ryder’s voice, but he sounded muffled, like he was far away. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that I was on the ground. On the stable, even ground. But I couldn’t. I could feel the wind whipping around me, making me shiver and tremble from fear and cold. My eyes were burning from the unshed tears that were trying to spill out. I was going to die just shy of my eighteenth birthday.
The wind suddenly stopped, and I felt warm. I felt protected. Sheltered. I felt safe. I slowly opened my eyes and gasped. I saw Ryder’s hands reach out and wrap themselves around mine on the ladder. The world stopped spinning when I realised his body was pressed against mine, shielding me from the wind. He was taller than me, so his feet were on the rung below mine, allowing him to wrap his body protectively around me and for us both to fit in the same small space.
“I’m sorry, Bailey. I shouldn’t have brought you up here,” he whispered in my ear.
“It’s okay…I just need to breathe.” I panted, trying to catch my breath. “And not look down.”
Making me gasp, Ryder released one of his hands from the rung we were holding. “Ryder, no! Are you crazy?” I all but shouted at him. I hugged myself to the ladder a little tighter.
“Shh…it’s okay,” he said, wrapping his arm around my waist. That was it. He just held me until I stopped panicking and until I could breathe again. As my heart slowed down and my breaths were a little more even, Ryder asked, “Do you think you can climb the rest of the way? We’re so close to the top.”
I licked my parched lips, looked up, and realised we were only about ten feet from the top. “I think so.”
“I’ll be right here with you. Climb with me.” He unwrapped his arm from my waist and placed it back over my hand. I was gripping onto the ladder so tightly my knuckles were white.
“Okay,” I said and let him make the first move. He grasped my right hand in his and lifted it to the rung above. I felt his knee nudge the back of my leg telling me to raise it. I carefully lifted my right leg to the next highest rung, and he did the same. He moved my left hand next and followed with his left leg, always keeping his feet on the level below mine. It was slow going, but we made it to the top in a few minutes.
I quickly shuffled back so I was pressed against the water tank as far from the edge as possible. Ryder moved to sit beside me. He didn’t say anything. He just grabbed my hand and held it in his. We sat there for the longest time not talking, and it wasn’t uncomfortable. I found that throughout our time together, I could sit with Ryder for hours and not talk. We didn’t need to speak all the time. We were comfortable doing whatever with each other. We would quite often just sit in the bookstore and read side by side. It was like that now.
“I’m sorry, Bailey. I just—” He started to apologise. He looked so tense and angry with himself.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have looked down, that’s all. I’m okay now. Thank you for helping me.” I smiled at him, and he seemed to relax instantly, closing his eyes and resting his head back against the tank. “How did you know?”
“How did I know what?” He pulled his eyebrows together in confusion and turned his face to look at me. He was so close our lips almost touched.
“How did you know how to calm me down by…by…” By what, Bailey? Was I going to saying by touching me?
“By touching you?” Nope, I didn’t need to. He did it for me. I cringed and nodded. It sounded so weird and inappropriate. “I don’t know. I just kinda remembered trying to comfort you today whenever things got too much for you. It seemed to work then, so I just hoped it worked this time. And it did, right?”
“Yes, it did.” I nodded, and he smiled. He began tracing patterns on the palm of my hand.
“So are you okay after the bookstore and seeing him?”
“Yeah, I think so. I just wish he would back off and leave me alone. I don’t know what he’s trying to accomplish.”
“He’s a tosser.”
“He is, isn’t he?” I laughed as I finally admitted out loud that Chace was, in fact, a wanker. I didn’t know what I saw in him, and I didn’t know why I still loved him. But I did. Now that I could see how much of an awful person he was, I’d hopefully be able to get over him quickly. Hopefully.
Ryder laughed as well. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. “Yes, he is. I’ve been saying it for years.”
“It’s pretty up here,” I whispered a few minutes later, looking up at the stars in the sky and at the moon casting a silvery glow over the field below.
“It’s my favourite place to go,” Ryder said into my hair. “It’s peaceful. I can come here to be alone and to get away from it all. I come and sit here for hours sometimes after work.”
And that’s what we did. We sat up on that water tower for hours staring at the stars and talking occasionally. Being up there wrapped in Ryder’s arms made it easy to forget I was high from the ground. It was easy to forget Chace and Christina. It was easy to forget the world.
“Ryder?”
“Mmm?” he mumbled quietly.
“Did you actually meet my mum today?” I asked, suddenly curious and a little worried about what I would say to her when I got home.
“Nope.”
“Then how did you know where to find me?”
“I was just driving down the street and saw his car at the bookshop. Knew it couldn’t have been good, so I stopped to check on you.” He tightened his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer.
“Thank you.”
“Stop thanking me, Bailey. I’m not doing anything special.”
“But you are. You’re helping me.” More than I thought he even knew. More than I understood. Being around Ryder was simple.
“Just being a friend.” He pressed a kiss to the side of my head. “Come on. Let’s go home.”