Chapter Four
It was late in the afternoon when I finally rose from my bed. I felt better in the afternoon, thanks to resting all morning, no doubt. I was lucky. I knew there were plenty of women in this camp as pregnant as I was who didn’t have the options I had. They only knew how to do the work the Gosebs gave them.
Detro had been missing for weeks, and in that time all of the plans he had implemented on the planet had been done away with. The large meals, the day of rest, the entertainment, the doctors and medicines were all gone. X29 had returned to its former brutality.
I wrapped my shawl over my head and, throwing my rucksack over my shoulder, I stepped out into the heat of the afternoon. The camp was empty. The men were down in the mines, the women were at their work and my shift in laundry started in mere minutes. I walked past rows of identical tents and finally emerged on the edge of the camp where the actual buildings stood.
The sensor in my neck opened the door to the laundry and I quickly moved down the steps. Everything here was underground, where it was cooler, and the laundry was no exception.
The laundry was one big open room. The hard, dirt floor was cool and most women worked barefoot. Dirty clothes and sheets were piled into large vats which quickly cleaned and dried them. Most of the women stood along a long table, folding and sorting the clothes.
“Good morning, Marge,” I said to the human woman in charge of the laundry. She was hunched over and withered, with long strands of gray hair hanging in her eyes. She looked mean, and she was, but she wasn’t stupid. I made a tidy profit for her and she appreciated that.
She nodded once at me and said, “There’s work waiting for you in the office.”
I moved past her, ignoring the women working at the long table. I was always worried about gossip. If word spread about my side business I would be executed immediately. I opened the door to the office and saw the room where the Goseb armor and masks were cleaned and corrected. There was a pile of black, featureless masks on one of the tables. They were marred by small dings and scratches and would need to be repaired. Fixing the masks was technically my job, but I moved past them without stopping.
Behind the table with the masks was a small storage space filled with chemicals and sewing supplies. Hidden amongst the needles and thread and cleansers were the containers where my alcohol sat and fermented. I got to work, mixing sugar and water and heating them up. It was all done by rote memory. We used to make it all the time back at the garrison for the cooks and the doctors. For a long time, I used to do nothing but make alcohol. I hated it then, but I appreciated the skill now.
There was nothing to do but watch it slowly boil and wait. I pressed a hand to my stomach, pressing down and feeling the small swell of my pregnancy. I wondered how far along I was. Detro had been sent away fifty-nine days ago, so I was at least three months along, if not more.
I wondered if it was a boy or a girl. I had never actually seen a human-Goseb hybrid before, although Detro had. He said they had pale skin tinged with green, the hair color was always the Detro black, but the eyes were human in color, brown or blue, depending on the human.
If he didn’t come back before the baby was born, what would I do? Would I have to birth it by myself and then keep it secret and hidden away? But how long could such a thing last? I lived in a tent with people all around me. They would hear the cry of the baby. They would rat me out for favors from the Gosebs and then they would take the baby from me and...
I couldn’t go down that path. There was no happy ending there. All I could do was wait and pray that the gods brought Detro to me.
Not knowing was the worst part. What if he was dead already? What if I was hoping and praying for nothing? There had been no word from him. There was no gossip in the camp. Everyone wondered what had happened to their previous benevolent Goseb Commander, but no one had any clue where he might actually be.
I spent the afternoon in the small, cramped closet, packaging up my goods. I slipped a bit of copper into Marge’s hand on my way out. Once outside, I turned to my left and headed towards the tent where the medical supplies were kept.
When Detro was in charge, the medical tent was always fully stocked. Most common medicines, pain killers and disinfectants could easily be made on the large orbiting ship and then delivered to the planet. It made sense, Detro used to say, for the Gosebs to keep their workers healthy.
Things had changed. There were no lines outside the tent and I walked right in. It looked barren and empty. There were tall shelves in the room, but they were almost totally empty. A lone human medic sat on a table, his legs hanging over the side. He was staring off into space when I entered, and I cleared my throat to get his attention.
“Mereen, I was waiting for you,” Timon said. He was tall and thin, with long, shaggy, brown hair and perpetual sunburn on his nose and cheeks.
“Am I late?” I asked.
He shrugged, “I don’t even bother keeping track of the time anymore. Ever since the regime change there’s not much reason for me to be here.”
“Well, I appreciate it,” I said.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Nauseous and tired, but nothing too out of the ordinary.”
“Good,” he responded. “Have you reported it yet?” he asked.
I shook my head. Timon didn’t know that the baby was half Goseb. No one could know that.
“Well, you can get away with hiding it until you’re clearly showing. Some women wait until the seventh month to report it.”
I nodded, feeling the small packets of alcohol and copper in my pocket. He stood up and walked over to the opening in the tent, making sure no one was around. “Looks like a storm is brewing,” he said, as he came back in. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small packet that contained a week’s worth of prenatal vitamins. We traded four alcohol packets and three ounces of copper for one week of pills. It was a high markup, but it wasn’t like I had anything else to spend my money on.
“You should head home now, to beat the storm,” Timon said.
“Has there been any word of Detro?” I asked quietly.
“None that I’ve heard,” Timon replied. As the medic, Timon had the best access to the Gosebs. Sometimes he overheard things.
“You’ll tell me if you hear anything, right?” I asked. He nodded and then held open the door to his tent and I stepped out into a threatening sky.
A dust storm was forming. The sky had turned a grayish green and the wind whipped my shawl from around my shoulders. I grabbed it before it escaped and wrapped it more securely around my head. Squinting against the wind, I struggled to find my tent. I had just managed to get inside and secure the flaps when the storm began to really rage.
The wind howled and above me I heard a sharp crack of thunder. The sides of my tent were whipped around as wind and sand and silt seeped inside. There was nothing to do in a storm but wait it out. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too bad. Hopefully, it wouldn’t wipe the entire camp from the face of the planet.
I shuddered from the cold and wrapped myself up in my blanket as I watched silt enter and settle in my tent. I didn’t know why I bothered to remove it. It always came back. But I hated having that layer of filth over what I had come to consider my home.
Think of better times. But the howling wind and the whipping tent flaps kept interrupting my memories.
“You shouldn’t think of past happiness, but dream of future bliss.” Detro had told me that. I closed my eyes and imagined the Sanctuary. I didn't believe in it, of course, but Detro did. A place where human and Gosebs lived in peace as equals. He had been so sure it existed. Back then his confidence had been infectious. We used to lie in bed together and dream of going there. But now that I was alone it seemed more of a fantasy than ever.