Lily
I shouldn’t be letting the stranger touch me.
That’s not what good girls do.
Good girls don’t let men they don’t know touch their panties. Good girls don’t let those men slip a finger underneath. I thought I was a good girl, but that was then. Now I’m sitting at a bar with my legs spread and there’s a man kissing me and touching me, and I’m loving it.
I don’t know if Thorn is this guy’s real name. If it is, it’s kind of weird. Maybe it’s a last name. I don’t know. I don’t really care, either, though. I’m just enjoying the way he’s making me feel because ever since that night in college, I haven’t felt this way.
It’s funny because I’d forgotten all about that moment. I’d forgotten how I let the music get to me, how I let the alcohol warm my body and excite my soul. I felt brave climbing on that table. I felt sexy stripping my shirt off, throwing it to the floor. I felt like a star when I took off my bra.
I felt wanted.
Desired.
Gorgeous.
Something happened after college, though. Something changed. I wasn’t wild after that. I settled into the routine of being a good adult and somehow, that meant focusing on responsibility and good behavior. In the grown-up world, there has never seemed like a good time or place to cut loose.
Until now.
And while part of my brain argues that I should be sweet, that I should be self-controlled, there’s another part of me says fuck it.
That part of me is winning tonight.
Master Thorn strokes my panties. His fingers run over the center and hovers over my clit. Every part of my body feels alive. My heart threatens to explode as he touches me, and I close my eyes and just breathe.
Everything around me disappears.
I’m not noticing the music.
I don’t hear the voices.
I’ve forgotten about my friends.
The only thing that matters right now is Master Thorn. His voice grounds me as he touches me. He’s going to make me fly. I can already tell. It’s just a matter of when he decides I’m ready.
And somehow, I understand that, suddenly. This entire thing isn’t just a game people play for fun. It’s about surrender. It’s about trust. It’s about vulnerability. Master Thorn can give me pleasure beyond anything I’ve ever imagined, but I don’t get to beg or rush him.
I have to wait.
I have to be patient
I have to submit.
“I’m not submissive,” I whisper, breaking the silence.
“No?” He keeps touching me. “You seem pretty submissive to me right now.”
“This isn’t how I normally am.”
“Maybe that’s because you don’t have a chance to let your true self out. Maybe you’re absolutely submissive, but you’ve never had the opportunity to explore this before.”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, suddenly struck by the strangeness of the situation.
“Trust me,” he whispers. His lips are by my ear. The way we’re sitting at the bar, no one can see what he’s doing to me. Then again, this is a sex club, so maybe everyone can see. Maybe everyone notices how close we are to one another, how my legs are spread wide. I’m facing the bar, so no one can see my panties.
No one can see my blush but Thorn.
And something tells me he loves it.
Something tells me he’s enjoying every bit of the way I’m flushing as he touches me, as he brings me closer and closer to orgasm.
“Tell me something, pretty girl.”
“Anything.”
“Have you ever come in a public place?”
“Never.”
“Would you like to?”
“Right now?”
“Right here.”
I should tell him no.
It’s not proper. It’s not right. What we’re doing is totally wrong, totally dirty, but I want it. I crave it. I need it. Suddenly, what I want most in the entire world right now is to come against his hand.
The word “yes” crosses my lips before I realize what’s happening, and Thorn slips his fingers under my panties and inside of me. He fills me, and I start to groan, but he silences me with a kiss and starts slipping his fingers in and out of me.
Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
And then I come.
He kisses me as I shudder, keeps pumping his fingers in and out of me until he’s pulled every ounce of pleasure from my body, and then he slowly takes his hand away, straightens my skirt, and places his hand demurely on my thigh.
“How was that, beautiful girl?”
“Wow.”
“Wow indeed,” a voice from behind the bar catches my attention and I turn to see June standing there with a smirk on her face.
Apparently, we had an audience.
“June,” Master Thorn says, running a hand through his hair. “I…”
She holds up a hand. “I didn’t see anything,” she says. “And it’s a good thing, too, because you know the owner takes a personal interest in making sure people follow the rules.”
“I’m well aware of the owner’s stance on following protocol,” Thorn says, and that seems to satisfy June because she winks and turns around to make another drink.
I grab my whiskey and sip it. The liquor burns, but it’s a good pain.
I sip a little more.
“This is the part where we usually talk.”
I look sideways at Thorn. He’s watching me intently. His eyes are dark and he has a nice jaw line. He’s the kind of guy girls go crazy for, the kind of guy women lose their mind over.
He’s tall, and he’s fit. Even with the suit he’s wearing, I can tell he fills it out. This is a guy who works out, a guy who is used to getting what he wants. This is a guy who knows how to get what he wants.
And now he wants to talk.
With me.
Despite the fact that he just had his fingers inside my vagina, words somehow escape me. Somehow, talking seems more personal than what we just did. When he was touching me, I could close my eyes and just feel. I could just enjoy what he was doing to me and I didn’t have to over-think it, but now he’s asking me to talk.
What kind of guy is this?
Most guys are just so fast to run away after you’ve been intimate. I’ve never been with someone who wanted to talk, who wanted to discuss what we did. Thorn is already so different from every person in my past.
“What do you want to talk about?”
June chuckles, and I realizing she’s listening as she cleans the counters.
“Don’t mind me, sweetie,” she says when I look at her. “Just take a deep breath and give the Dom what he wants. It’s easier that way. Trust me.”
“You want me to tell you what I’m feeling,” I say, looking at Thorn, and he nods.
“I want that very much.”
“Most people don’t ask to talk after they’ve fooled around.”
“Most people are idiots.”
I sip my whiskey again, trying to buy myself a few more seconds. What do I say to Thorn? I think up several ideas, but finally, I just decide to go with the truth.
“I feel very sexy,” I say. “And that’s not something I feel very often.”
“You are an incredibly erotic woman, Lily.”
“Thank you.”
“You can say that again,” June winks from behind the bar.
“Are you hitting on me?” I whisper, but June just laughs and moves away to make a drink for someone. She seems to glide behind the bar. She’s moving constantly, never standing still. At first, I thought she was on roller-skates, but I think she’s just a very graceful person.
“I like the way you trusted me,” Thorn says, whispering in my ear. He’s rubbing my thigh, but it doesn’t feel overpowering. I don’t feel smothered or like he’s pressuring me for anything. He’s just talking to me, and it’s kind of nice.
“I’m not used to this. I’m not used to doing stuff like this. I mean, I’m just a daycare worker, you know? I work with little kids all day. I’m not exactly an experienced sex goddess.”
“You could have fooled me. You seemed quite comfortable with being kissed and touched in public.”
“It’s strange. I feel like I should be embarrassed, but I’m not.”
“You should never be embarrassed, kitten.”
“Why are you calling me kitten?”
“Because when you came, you purred beautifully, like a sweet, sassy kitten.”
“You don’t think I should be embarrassed I’m here?”
“Not at all. I’m not embarrassed,” he reaches for his drink and finishes it. Then he motions for June to get us each another one, which she does with another wink and a bright smile.
“Thank you for the drinks,” I tell him, trying to remember my manners. I have no idea what drinks cost here, and it’s really nice of him to pick them up. Unlike most guys, I don’t get the feeling Master Thorn has any sexual expectations. Even though we fooled around, I don’t think he’s going to ask me to come home with him. I don’t think he’d be mad or angry if I said no.
“Of course. It’s my pleasure. Thank you for your company. Now tell me, why do you think you should be embarrassed?”
“Because letting a stranger finger-fuck you in public isn’t very appropriate.”
He lets out a laugh, and I have a feeling my vocabulary caught him off guard. Thorn just smiles, though. He doesn’t tell me to watch my language.
“A lot of things aren’t appropriate. That doesn’t mean they’re not worth doing. It just means you need to learn not to care what people think.”
I let his words sink in for a second and I think about my week. Do I care too much what people think? Somehow, everything in my life feels like a struggle right now. I’m always fighting my boss over the weekend hours. I’m always arguing for time off. I’m always trying to get my landlord to fix anything. I’m always feeling stressed, tired, exhausted.
Maybe it’s time for me to not care so much about the things I can’t control and to start focusing on what I can control.
Is it time for me to start focusing on myself?
It sounds selfish, but is it, really?
I wasn’t sure about coming out tonight, but I’m so glad I did. Spending time with Christina and Zack was nice. Spending time with Master Thorn was exquisite, though. Memorable. Perfect.
“How do you, you know, come to terms with it?”
“With kink?”
“Yeah, I mean, I didn’t grow up in a really religious household, but my family was – is – conservative. How did you wrap your head around the fact that kink was okay? That it was enjoyable?”
He chuckles again. Our drinks appear in front of us and I thank June, then wait for Master Thorn to respond to me.
“I suppose after college, things changed for me. My girlfriend and I broke up and I started seeing new people. Polly and I had been dating since high school, so we’d both only been with each other. The girls I dated after were older, more experienced. Some of them wanted things I didn’t know how to give.”
“They wanted to be spanked,” I say knowingly, like I’m the smartest woman in the world.
“Spanked, tied up, teased. One girl in particular was really into being dominated. I didn’t know how to give her that, so she introduced me to some people and took me to some parties. That’s where I started learning how to dominate.” He looks thoughtful for a second. “That’s where I learned I am a Dominant, and I like to be with submissive partners.”
“You weren’t scared to go to the parties?”
“A little nervous, at first, but then I started to feel like it was my element. I started to feel like it was where I belonged.”
“What happened next?”
“Those relationships all ended, but I still craved dominance. The people I work with don’t know about this side of me.”
“What kind of people do you work with?”
“The conservative kind. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with being conservative. There’s not. It takes all kinds, but I think it’s important to keep an open mind when it comes to how you live your life. You shouldn’t shun something you don’t understand just because it seems inappropriate or strange to you.”
“I guess I’m lucky to have some pretty understanding coworkers.” I think of Christina, and of her Dom, and of how incredible it really is that they invited me here.
“This is your first time experimenting with kink,” Master Thorn says. “It’s normal to be a little nervous about everything, to feel a little unnerved.”
I take a deep breath. “I feel better after talking,” I admit. “Thank you for taking the time to do that. You didn’t have to, but it means a lot to me.”
Thorn smiles, and I know that I’m in trouble.
He kisses me softly on the cheek, and he rubs my thigh, and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to go back to ordinary, normal, plain, boring vanilla relationships again.