Dana

Hutch and I parted after a few hours, difficult as that was for us both to do.  We were swimming in the afterglow of our lovemaking, and there was little either of us would have preferred but to just lay there in each other’s arms, languid in our sweet exhaustion.  But both Hutch and I agreed it was time for him to spend some time alone with Blu, and I had a few things to take care of myself.

When I walked into Steubing Hall, where the band rehearsed, I heard the piano tinkling out the melody made famous by the renowned beauty pageant: Here she is, Miss A-mer-i-ca ...

I smiled with a knowing little nod, acknowledging their dig without wanting to make too big a deal of it.  I knew they were gossiping about me and Hutch, and by that time there was little I could do to deny any of what they might have been thinking.

“Hi guys,” I said simply, hoping that would be the end of it.  My hopes were dashed.

“Dana,” Barry said, glancing down at his keyboard and then up at her, eyes rolling under his brow.  “How’re things?”

“Good, Barry, good.”  I tried to ignore the awkwardness in the room, but it wasn’t easy.

Sticks smiled from behind his drum kit.  “What it is, D.”

Barry said, “You look good, Dana, you look ... relaxed ... relieved.”  Eric was slumped on his stool, bass in his lap as usual.  But there was something new in his gaze, something festering, sneering, angry.

“Well, it’s nice to get a little break,” I said, and that was true.  “I’ve never taken the cruise as a passenger before.”

“Is that what you are now,” Barry asked, “a passenger?”

I was getting impatient with their insinuations, as much as I was with my father’s demands and Caroline’s scheming.  “I’m just taking a little time away from singing to take care of this one passenger.”

Barry and Sticks looked at each other as if they were trying to keep from breaking out in laughter, the other band members staying as far away from the conversation as possible.  A few of the horn players glanced at Eric and then at me, shaking their heads and muttering to one another things I couldn’t hear and really didn’t want to.

I knew why Eric was mad, and I knew what the others were snickering at, and I suppose taking care of was a poor choice of words.   “Anyway, I thought we night do that song tonight, When You Wish Upon a Star.”

“We?”

“Yes, Barry, we.  Look, you guys ... all of you ... this has been a strange couple of days, and we’re not even in Bermuda.  So if we’re going to get through it together, we really have to resist the temptation to do a lot of gossiping and snickering.”  Silence was their only response, but I could tell I hadn’t quite made my point.  Or maybe I was just feeling strong, stronger than I had ever felt before, more an adult, more confident and in control, more experienced, more than just the captain’s daughter.  I was a woman, and one they would have to contend with.  “I don’t know what’s going to happen over the next week, you guys, none of us do.  But for now I think the only thing worth assuming is that they’re going to walk off this ship and leave us all here together, as we were before.  I suggest we all think about that before anybody draw any lines.”

I left them with that, their stunned silence was my only echo.

I met Hutch and Blu out by the pool.  Blu had become enamored with the water park area, those long and winding tubes sending her rocketing in every direction, over and over again.

I sat with Hutch as he watched her, a lemonade on the little round poolside table.  He was wearing a new pair of trunks and nothing else, a towel draped over the chair behind him.  His naked torso brought back memories of the night before, the sweet taste of his skin in my mouth, his gentle but certain touch, my quivering curves.  My body followed where my mind wandered, juices already stirring inside me, my legs crossing and pressing together with just a little extra pressure.

It was all I could do to keep from throwing myself on him once again, a thought that kept flashing back to me, that I might unleash myself on him the way he did on me.  He’d set me free, and now I wanted to rage like an uncaged animal.  I’d had a taste of blood, and I wanted more ...  a lot more.

And I could tell he felt the same way.  He looked at me with a calm quiet, sitting back in his chair, hips siding forward almost imperceptibly.  His eyes locked on mine, but only so I could see them wander hungrily over my breasts, my lean body, my long legs that he adored, nearly worshipped the night before.

But we both knew there was time enough for our mutual satisfaction, and that waiting was an even more delicious sensation.  The suspense may have been terrible, and we both wanted to enjoy it.

Blu splashed into the pool from the bottom of the yellow pipe before swimming quickly to the edge, climbing up out of the water, and running to the ladder to make it back to the top as quickly as possible.

“She’s really precious,” I said.

Hutch’s gentle smile was the only answer he needed to give, though to hear him say, “She’s the reason for everything,” made my heart tingle, and not just my heart.  I couldn’t help imagining our own kids, another daughter and maybe a son or even more than one.  The boys would favor him, with dark hair, but I knew my daughter would look just like me.

I shook it off.  Don’t get ahead of yourself, my inner skeptic warned me, what you said to the band was true, you better believe it yourself!

It was easier to think about Blu.  “She seems a bit more comfortable,” I said.  “I’m sure taking this trip was a good idea, help her come out of her shell.”

“I hope so.  She does seem to be making a bit of progress.  Tell you the truth, I’m not sure that doesn’t have something to do with you.”

“Me?  No, Hutch, I’m just a ... a glorified tour-guide, as far as she’s concerned anyway.”

“No, Dana, no, you’re more than that to both of us.  I don’t just sleep with any woman that comes along, you should know that about me.  And Blu, she doesn’t take to most people the way she takes to you.  And you’ve earned it ... her trust, my affection, everything the world has in store for you , you’ve earned it, Dana.  I want you to know that.  Nobody’s given you anything, you’ve worked for it all.”

I smiled but had to turn away.  “I’m the captain’s daughter, Hutch.  You can’t find a position of more privilege, at least not onboard.”

“And that’s a position which would be abused by any lesser woman.  But you’ve remained stalwart, towing the line -- ”

“Until last night -- ”

“No.  Last night was different, last night was special.  You upheld your responsibility to your father, and I know how seriously you took that, how seriously you both took it.  You’re good people, a good family.  I can only hope that, when Blu’s grown up, that we’ll have as good a relationship as you two.”  I was flattered, my blood running warm and smooth in my veins.  But I couldn’t just confirm that it was all that easy or that simple.  And he seemed to know that, adding, “And I would hope we’d be strong enough to let each other go when the time was right.”

Hutch nailed it, as always, but I just didn’t know how to answer him.  I did want to be with him, even though it had only been a few days.  I was in love with him and wanted to be his wife.  I wanted to give Blu back everything she’d lost, everything that had been so cruelly taken away from her.  And I knew I was looking for something I’d lost too, several things, probably, even if I still wasn’t sure what those things were.

I looked back up at Blu, a little girl so like myself in so many ways; sheltered, isolated, struggling just for some sense of normalcy, some way to heal the pain, not just cover it up.  I thought about my singing career, how happy and fulfilled I generally was on stage, and I looked forward to singing for Hutch later, perhaps many times over the years.  But I also knew then that my time on stage was quite a bit like Blu’s time in the water tubes.  It was fun, a rush and a thrill, but it wasn’t real life, it was only a respite, a place to hide.  It helped, but there were more important things in life, things without which none of us would ever be happy, or perhaps even survive.  

I noticed my friend, bartender Hector Gonzales, standing on the other side of the deck, directly behind Hutch where he couldn’t be seen.  He jutted his head to the side, like he was ushering me into the hall.  Once he caught my eye, he did it again and turned to step into the hall himself.  I said to Hutch, “I think I’ve got some shipboard business, Hutch.  Excuse me?”

“Of course.  Afterward, if time allows, put on a suit and join us.”

I looked up.  “I thought we might take the SkyRide together.”

Hutch looked up, squinting in the sunlight, then back at me with a smile.  “I’d love another ride.”  We shared a smile and I crossed the deck to join Hector.

Once in the relative dark of the hall, I walked a few yards, glancing around.  “Hector?  Hector?”

“Dana,” he whispered, waving me further down the hall.  We walked down another perpendicular hall and walked while we talked, one of several ship’s bars not far from the end of the hall.  “I took a little break, wanted to talk.”

“Okay.”

“I shouldn’t even have left my post, Caroline’ll have me fired if she sees.  But I couldn’t just wait to see if you’d stop by, I didn’t mean to intrude.”

The more he ramped up to it, the more nervous I got.  I knew it could be any number of things and, judging by Hector’s air and tone, I didn’t think it was going to be good news.  But I pressed a cheerful tone when I said, “It’s fine, Hector.  What’s up?”

“I had a dream, Dana, a terrible dream -- ”

“Oh Hector -- ”

“I know, I know you don’t believe in them, but this one is real!”

“Hector, you’ve dreamt we were going to sink twice ... on the same trip!”

“And we almost did,” he said, his accent becoming more pronounced as he talked.  “My grandmother used to get them and they always came true.  I am just trying to warn you.”

“About what, Hector, what’s going to happen?  What did you dream?”

“I dreamed that you got killed, Dana.”

“What?  Killed?  How?  By who?”

“I couldn’t see exactly, but there was a man there, the man who came aboard our ship.”

“Hutch, you’re talking about Hutch?”

“Yes, he was there.”

“He was there where, Hector?  What did you see exactly in this dream?”

He looked around, holding his hands out to calm me as we approached the end of the hall.  “I can’t say for sure, but I remember seeing you lying down, on the deck or on the ground, and that man was standing over you, and everyone was gathered around, looking really sad.  They all knew you were dead, Dana.”

My blood ran cold.  But I didn’t give much credence to Hector’s dream-whispering before, so the news didn’t exactly rock me to my core.  “Was my father there?”

“I don’t think so,” Hector said.  “I don’t know where it was, just that there were other people -- ”

“Crew members, passengers, locals?”

“I can’t say, like it was a combination of all three.”  I sighed as we opened the hallway door and stepped into one area of the mall where Hector’s post awaited him.  “So you have to be really careful, Dana, okay?”

I couldn’t resist asking, “Are these dreams like ... warnings?  Or are they more like premonitions?  Because if there’s nothing I can do about it -- ”

“I don’t know, Dana.  All I know is that my grandmother’s dreams came true.  Maybe if you’re careful, my dreams won’t, that’s all.”

“What am I supposed to do, Hector, lock myself in my cabin until we get back to Miami?  I’ve got ... other things going on.”

He looked at me with a sad, frank expression as we reached the bar and he stepped around back.  “I know, Dana ... I know.”