Chapter 6
It had been one whole day and neither one of them had seen each other. It was almost like a drug that they couldn’t get enough of. Cali had tried to reach out, but had only gotten radio silence for her troubles. She knew deep down that he was dealing with something and that he had taken the time to seclude himself from any kind of interaction with the public. It was obvious that he was under a time restraint and was now in the process of putting a plan together of some magnitude.
She had no idea where he lived and according to his records there was no set residence. He was very careful to keep things hidden and to move around without putting down any permanent roots.
Cali was sitting in the common room and was quite happy to see that Randy had no idea who she was. He never approached her, as he had other fish to fry namely a young man that was close to putting a noose around his neck or slitting his wrist in the middle of the night. The young man was under a suicide watch and he was sitting vigil by his bed to make sure that he didn’t slip through the cracks like so many others. That distraction was giving him a reason to wake up in the morning.
Cali heard something and went to the window to see that young Sebastian had come back. He looked haggard and had a growth of day old beard on his face. His eyes were sunken like he hadn’t slept. He came through the door and they made eye contact and soon were kissing in an alcove away from those that would consider what they were doing inappropriate.
“I meant to call you, but something came up. I still want to have that dinner and to cook for you, but it might have to wait a little bit longer. I have some business and I’m afraid that I can’t get into any further than that. Let’s just say that I know that people have been lying to me and I’m tired of it. I always find out the truth and why they think that they can hide anything from me is beyond me.” Sebastian moved his fingers through her hair and felt intimately acquainted with every part of her body.
“I’m not going to pry and it’s obvious from your expression that somebody has betrayed you in some way. Just don’t do anything that’s going to come back and keep you from me. I’ve missed you more than you can ever know. I’m afraid that I have some news for you. It’s not going to go down well.” She couldn’t get away from his hard steel gaze and the way that he seemed to be judging her. “I don’t know how to say this and maybe it’s like taking off a band aid. I could either do it slowly or fast.” “I know that I’m stalling and there’s a reason for that. I don’t want to see that disappointment in his eyes and know that I was the cause of it. I never meant to get this close, but best laid plans have ways of going awry when you least expect it. I can only hope that he will forgive me and that he won’t hold it against me.”
“I’ve made a lot of sacrifices in my life, Kelly. I’ve seen good people die for no good reason than being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ve seen senseless murders of children and their mothers by an enemy that needed to be put down with extreme prejudice. I’ve seen atrocities to humans by what I would consider the devil themselves. I doubt that there’s anything that you could say that could hurt me more than my past.” Cali was the one and for Sebastian to admit that was a big step that he wasn’t sure that he was willing to take.
“I know that you are hurting inside and I don’t want to cause you any more harm. It’s just that us coming together was never by accident.” She was about to tell him everything when a shrill siren came over the loudspeaker.
“Code blue in room 405… Code blue in room 405… All personnel are required at this time.”
Cali felt something change and there was this tension in the air that she could cut with a knife. His demeanor had changed and his soft and caring face had turned to grave concern.
“This is going to have to wait until later. I need to get to that room immediately if not sooner.” He didn’t even wait for Cali to argue the point and was already sprinting down the hall with his combat boots slapping against the floor on his way. He knew that this day was coming, but he was hoping they had more time. He didn’t mean to stay away this last day and the regret boiling inside was now fueling an anger towards the commander that could not be contained.
Cali ran with him excusing herself repeatedly to those that she was about to bump into. He had never seen the look on his face and it was like something had broken inside him. His face had turned ashen and he had swallowed with a sort of realization that something had happened that was going to affect him greatly. “I understand grief when I see it and I do hope that this is not the final straw that’s going to break his mind into a million pieces. Hopefully, I can be there to put him back together again like the villagers did with Humpty Dumpty and his great fall. I can see that same great fall coming and there’s absolutely nothing that I can do to prevent him from feeling the crushing grief pushing him down into the ground.”
She was wearing an open man’s shirt white in color and a black sports bra underneath. She had on a pair of dark jeans and it did not surprise her to see that Sebastian was wearing that camouflage green jacket. It was stuffed into one of his saddlebags and hanging loosely with a sleeve revealed when they went on their first drive into the country.
“I need to say something before you go in, Sebastian. He has been calling out for you all night, but you weren’t there to hold his hand. I did what I could to console him, but I think he just wanted to say goodbye. We called it a couple of minutes ago and we all knew that this day was coming. I’ll give you time to be with him. Take all the time that you need.” Travis was the male nurse and he had seen the compassion from a man who looked like he could kill with one look. He walked away with his head downtrodden and this was one of many that had gotten to him over the years. He tried his best to leave this when he went home, but it was very hard with some that were able to make him feel connected.
Sebastian steeled his nerves and he walked into a room that was surrounded by death. He had felt this before, but had never really paid much attention to it. It was like a phantom limb that he knew was there, but couldn’t really perceive it. He saw the sheet covering the body and this was not his first rodeo at seeing somebody die. This one hit him harder than most. He fell to his knees and wept openly for a man that deserved better than this.
He turned at the feel of a hand and looked up into the eyes of the woman that he had known as Kelly. He wasn’t expecting her to be there, but he was grateful for the shoulder to lean on. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without him. He was one of my best friends and I feel like I’ve lost a brother. I don’t have any reason to wake up in the morning anymore and he was the one thing in my life that kept me going.” He turned the sheet back to see the empty shell of his brother from another mother.
“I know it’s hard, but it’s not like we haven’t prepared for this all of our lives. Loss is a necessary disease and the only cure is that time heals all wounds. I’m sorry that this happened to you. I’m sure that you know that he would never want you to join him. I don’t want you to even think about doing something as stupid as taking your own life. I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you and that nothing that you say will ever push me away.” The feel of his hand on hers was drawing the strength from her body to give to him. She was happy to supply him with that strength, so that he wouldn’t fall apart altogether. “He’s dealing with a lot and he’s most likely hanging from a very thin thread. To tell him that I’ve been lying will only push him over the edge. I know that he deserves to know the truth, but I don’t think that I have the courage to tell him.”
“You have no idea how much your words have affected me, Kelly. I wish that everybody had a woman in their life like you. Those that are of civilian status have no idea what we’ve gone through. They can’t possibly understand the trauma of seeing that kind of devastation. It’s something that changes you and makes you look at life a little differently. His death is one of many, but to me he’s not just a number or name. He’s a part of me and losing him makes me feel like somebody has taken a knife and cut that part out of me. I close my eyes and I feel numb.” He knew that the congressional hearing was coming up, but he also knew that his commander would not be in attendance.
In the last day, he had dug in and uncovered his exit strategy. He had to shake the truth lose from Stephen the man that had taken the commander up on his offer to buy the shipment. Unfortunately, he had already taken possession of that shipment and the money that the commander had gotten was already in his greedy hands. It took a bit, but he finally found that the commander was going to leave on a boat later tonight. Once he was out in the channel, he would most likely disappear and live in the lap of luxury on some tropical deserted island with a buxom babe.
All of his dirty dealings were coming back and witnesses were coming forward. His testimony wouldn’t really be needed and it wasn’t like he would have broken under interrogation. Sebastian would have gladly taken the oath and lied right to the face of all of those standing before him in judgment. For the commander not to know of his loyalty made him think that there was no way to know anybody.
“I’ve been avoiding telling you something, but I’m not sure that it’s the time or the place. Come with me and let me take away the pain and show you that there is a reason to live. Let me be your lifeline and let me throw you a life preserver. Hold on to me with everything that you have left.” She did not push and eventually he did stand and turn with the tears now drying on his cheeks. “You are a strong man and you will get through this one way or the other. You only have to let me in, but you can’t do that without all the information.” “He thinks that he knows me, but I have been showing him a false face. It’s time that I finally reveal the real woman that he has been getting to know. I just hope that it’s not too much for him.”
“I can’t take much more, Kelly. My friend dying and my commander betraying his country is too much for one man.” Sebastian was surprised and had always known that his commander was always one step ahead of everyone. If he thought for a second that he was going to roll over on him during the congressional hearings then he would want to put a stop to it. “I know that what you need to say is important, but maybe it can wait.” Sebastian looked down on this woman and did not see a battle weary veteran. She was not darting her eyes back and forth in the room or wringing her hands like that of a junkie coming down with withdrawals.
Cali turned away from him and didn’t want to see his eyes when the truth was finally revealed to him. “You think that lightning has struck for us, but it has always been a lie. What I feel for you is real, but how we came together was manipulated by someone that you probably know very well. Commander Grady came to me. He wanted me to help you deal with certain facets of your life. He wanted me to dig into your conscience and to get you to open up and spill your guts. I think I know the reason why. He’s been playing us both against one another for the purpose of securing his own freedom by any means necessary.” I was cutting him off at the knees and I can only hope that he won’t see the betrayal, as something that he can’t come back from. I need him in my life and I can’t begin to express to him what getting to know him has done for me. My heart was never open and he had found the key to the lock.”