Chapter Four
Killian had gotten through practice without incident, thanking everyone afterwards for sticking around after the police left to conduct business as usual. He could always slip out of himself and forget when they were playing. He lay on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. Claude and Liam were getting settled across the hall, and the condo had been locked up tight. Bruce, their regular head of security, was stationed outside, insisting they not trust any new guys with watching the condo yet.
Though feeling safe helped Killian relax, he felt guilty. Everyone was so worked up and worried. He wasn’t a child—he was a twenty-eight-year-old man! Malcolm came out of the bathroom wearing blue pajama pants and a black t-shirt.
“How are you, baby? Tired?”
Killian sat up, figuring he might as well confess to Malcolm, if no one else. “I feel like I’m putting everyone out. Yeah, I’m scared, but I’m not some barely legal starlet being stalked by a psychopath who’s threatened to fuck my severed head.” Killian looked up when he heard a choked laugh come from Malcolm.
Their eyes met, and Malcolm let the laugh out. “Sorry, baby, really, I am.” He laughed again. “But I just got this sort of B-movie, Bruce Campbellesque kind of image for a second.”
“Thanks. Some manly defender you are, laughing at me.”
Malcolm got on his knees on the floor beside the bed. “I’m sorry. I get a bit loopy when I’m stressed.” He took Killian’s hand and held it to his heart. “That letter made me so angry.”
Killian had read it three times, hoping for some clue, but he hadn’t found anything. It had pained him to watch Malcolm reading it, but stopping him hadn’t been possible. I miss you so much … I love you like no one else does … I love filling your sweet ass with my hot cum … I’ll never forget the way you sucked me and begged for it … I think of you pounding into me every night … that bastard doesn’t love you like I do.
“I know. I didn’t want you to read it, Mal.”
“I needed to know what we’re dealing with. The other letters were the same?”
“Except for when he talked about you. He never mentioned you before. He’s out there, watching.”
“Then all of this caution is justified, so stop feeling bad. Your friends love you. Liam especially.”
Killian nodded. “He’s a good friend. Kicks my ass when I need it, picks me back up when he has to.” Killian moved his hand up to Malcolm’s shoulder, then up over his neck to cup his cheek. “He told me to quit being a stubborn jerk with you.”
“Then he’s a true friend.” Malcolm kissed Killian’s palm. “Go get ready for bed. I’ll be right here.”
“You better be naked when I come back out,” Killian said as he rose and walked to the bathroom.
“I might be,” Malcolm said, turning and checking out Killian’s ass just as Killian looked back at him.
Killian managed half a smile before he turned back to the bathroom. As dark as things seemed, he wouldn’t let it touch them tonight.
****
Malcolm woke up every single time Killian moved, and he couldn’t help worrying with the tour starting the next day. This time, when Killian flopped onto his back, Malcolm inched over and took Killian into his arms. His lover gave a low whimper and turned in his embrace.
“Are you scared?” Malcolm asked.
“Not with you here, but I am worried. I can’t stop thinking about him.”
Malcolm rolled Killian beneath him. “I’ll put a stop to that right now.” He captured Killian’s mouth in a deep kiss. They both needed sleep because they were starting their tour the next day, but at the moment they needed this more. Billy hadn’t made a move since the day he sent the flowers, but everyone was on edge because being on the road would give the asshole so many chances to get to Killian, which was exactly why Killian needed Malcolm right now.
“Fuck me, Mal. Do anything you want. You deserve it.”
Malcolm laughed. “Why?”
“Being so good to me. I was a shit when you came back.”
“That didn’t last long. You saw sense real quick.” Malcolm reached down to stroke Killian’s cock.
“I never got over you. Never stopped loving and needing you.”
“I know, baby. God, I know.” Malcolm slid down to suck Killian’s cock.
Arching up, Killian thrust into Malcolm’s mouth. Taking Killian deep, Malcolm hummed and caressed his balls. The sounds Killian made had Malcolm right on the edge. He drew back and grabbed some lube.
“Want you inside me,” Malcolm said. He lubed Killian’s cock and then worked two fingers into his ass.
“Mmmm, I’d love that.”
Malcolm usually topped, but right now he wanted nothing more than to ride Killian. When he felt slick and open enough, he straddled Killian and sank down onto his cock. They’d gotten tested and stopped using condoms, and having full skin-to-skin contact with Killian felt so fucking good. Malcolm slid all the way down until he rested on Killian and felt his balls against his ass. Killian arched and gasped.
“Enjoy it, baby,” Malcolm whispered. “Fuck, you feel good.”
Killian took hold of Malcolm’s hips and began to thrust up. He hit Malcolm’s prostate just right on each upstroke. Leaning down, Malcolm nipped at Killian’s lips playfully, pulling back each time Killian tried to kiss him. In retaliation, Killian drove into Malcolm forcefully, holding him down and grinding into him. Malcolm raked his nails down Killian’s chest and then pinched both of his nipples, which made Killian jerk up hard. Malcolm had discovered only a few nights ago how sensitive Killian’s nipples were, and he’d been merciless ever since. Killian grabbed him and forced him down for a kiss then.
Submitting felt so good, and just two tugs of Malcolm’s cock by Killian had him shooting. He closed his hand over Killian’s and milked his cock, sucking hard on Killian’s lower lip. Killian thrust up one final time and came as well. The hot rush of cum in his ass made Malcolm moan against his lover’s lips.
“I love you, baby,” Malcolm said.
“Mmmm, I love you.” Killian ran his hand over his chest, smearing Malcolm’s cum over him. “And I loved that, watching you come and filling your ass.”
Malcolm rubbed his fingers over Killian’s chest, too, liking the way Killian’s eyes lit up. “You look good covered in my cum.”
Killian looked at the clock. “Round two in the shower. We have to get up in, like, two hours anyway.” Killian ran his hands over Malcolm’s thighs, his hands sticky with cum. “Wanna fuck you again. You feel so perfect.”
Malcolm got up and then helped Killian to his feet. “I think I’m spoiling you.”
“I know you are, and I adore it.” His expression sobered. “You’re always spoiling me. Calming me down. Trying to talk sense into me.” He stopped, swallowing. “Seems like a pretty thankless job. I feel like I don’t deserve this second chance.”
“Maybe you don’t, but you got it.”
“Thank you,” Killian said softly.
Malcolm smiled. Killian said that a lot these days, obviously wanting Malcolm to remember him saying it after the first time they’d had sex. Malcolm felt Killian was slowly learning what it meant to be in a real relationship. He let himself be pulled into the bathroom, their worries seeming miles away in that moment.
****
“Quit shadowing my every step. You’re smothering me!” Killian said, rushing down the hall to get to the dressing room he was sharing with Malcolm for the day.
“There are too many entrances to this damn theater, so I’m not letting you out of my sight for even a minute.” Malcolm pushed ahead of him to check out the dressing room before letting him in.
“This is ridiculous! I get that being on the road is different, but you’re taking this too far. We have plenty of security, and in case you’ve forgotten, we know exactly what Billy looks like.”
“Maybe. He could’ve changed a lot in three years. Could be disguised pretty well. I’d never forgive myself if that guy hurt you.”
Malcolm really thought he couldn’t defend himself? Or did he just think Killian was so stupid he’d obviously make some kind of mistake? Both ideas stung, and he lashed out at Malcolm. “I’m not a toddler who’s going to get snatched in the bathroom. I could fight Billy off long enough for someone to come help.”
“Not if he caught you off guard.”
So he does think I’m careless and stupid? “You know, he’s never threatened to kidnap me or hurt me.”
“That doesn’t mean it isn’t his plan. He did hurt you in the past. I hate hearing you downplay him slamming you into a wall and breaking your wrist.”
Why did Malcolm have to be so paranoid? “Malcolm, I haven’t been alone for nearly three weeks. When I’m in the bathroom, you guard the door like a fuckin’ dog!”
“I love you, Kill.”
Killian closed his eyes and moaned as he turned away. “Please don’t use that as a reason to follow me or an excuse to mother me or anything like that!”
Malcolm didn’t say anything, and when Killian opened his eyes, Malcolm was standing very still and glaring at the floor.
“I know that you love me,” Killian said. “And I also know you have good intentions, but I feel smothered. Your protection feels condescending. That’s the best way I can describe how I feel. Does that make sense?”
Malcolm wiped at his right eye and looked up, nodding hurriedly. “I understand, but it drives me crazy when I don’t know for sure that you’re safe.”
Killian blinked as he looked at Malcolm’s face. “Did I just make you cry?” He moved forward to examine the shimmer in Malcolm’s eyes.
One tear actually rolled down Malcolm’s right cheek as he said, “Yeah. You did.” He met Killian’s gaze with a kind of defiance.
Killian stood there, not knowing what to do. He reached out tentatively.
Malcolm half-heartedly pushed him away. “I don’t like it when you yell at me. Never have. Just rattled me, okay?”
Killian watched him wiping at his eyes. “I guess I do it a lot, don’t I?”
Malcolm studied him and stepped closer. “You do. Guess in some ways I’m used to it.”
Killian flinched. “That’s not something you should get used to.”
Malcolm held his gaze again. “Then get better. I know you’re stressed out, but so are we.”
Killian nodded and kissed Malcolm’s cheek. “I know.” He rubbed both of his shoulders to try to relieve some of the tension there. “I’ll try. Promise.” He let his hands rest on Malcolm’s chest. “Not sure why you stick around.”
“Because I love you. Don’t say stupid things like that. Quit putting yourself down and start making yourself better.”
Killian frowned. “I am sorry. I love you, too.” He thought about that last thing Malcolm had said. Liam had said something similar to him before.
“You’re just going to have to put up with being smothered.”
Killian sighed, but still he nodded, knowing he needed to try to keep the promise he’d just made. “I know everyone’s worried about me.”
“You know Liam patrols our hotels at night?” Malcolm said. “We all love you.”
“I know that and appreciate it. I simply wish I could have some alone time.”
A knock sounded at the door.
“Yeah?” Malcolm called.
“It’s me.” The door opened, and Claude poked his head in. “I wanted to let you know the fire pillars are out tonight. The equipment went haywire right in front of the theater’s owner, and he’s not willing to risk it. This place has historical status, and we have to kowtow.”
“That’s fine. Those things freak me out anyway,” Malcolm said. “I’m scared they’re going to catch me on fire one day.”
“Wuss,” Killian teased, poking him in the ribs. He gave Malcolm his best smile, wanting to cheer him up after being such a jerk to him.
“Hey, they’re right behind me. The drummer in My Chemical Romance caught on fire when they made the vid for ‘Famous Last Words’.” He shook his head. “We ain’t goin’ there. Those things need to be perfect if they’re goin’ off behind me.”
“He’s right,” Claude said. “We have enough on our minds without more worries.”
“I’ve got my faithful defender here. I’m fine,” Killian said to Claude.
Claude smiled. “You don’t know how lucky you are. So many students had crushes on him. I had to fight for his attention sometimes.” He turned on his heels. “Okay, later, you two. Rehearsal and run through in one hour.”
Killian pulled Malcolm close. “So, did Claude have a crush on you?”
“Maybe a little.” Malcolm grinned. “I don’t think you need to worry. He and Liam are attached at the hip lately.”
Licking his lips, Killian laughed. “Gonna be one big orgy soon, huh?”
Malcolm rolled his eyes and drew away. “Ew.”
“I think they’d be good together.”
“Maybe. I don’t think Claude would make a move, even though he has no objection to me and you.”
“That’s because he didn’t want you to leave. He thinks you’re amazing. He’d never have done this if it had been anyone else. He’d have put his foot down.”
Malcolm sat on the couch. “He is a good manager. I’m proud and happy he’s doing so well.”
Killian moved toward the bathroom. “Don’t get too comfy. I just need to piss, and then I want food. We’ll never have time to eat between rehearsal and the show ‘cause Liam and Claude agreed to let the people with VIP tickets come back and get autographs before the show.”
Malcolm groaned. “Ugh, is that this place? I forgot.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from squealing girls this time.” Their last autograph session had been cut short when a way underage and scantily girl had latched on to Malcolm and refused to let go. Malcolm had been noticeably mortified and incredibly uncomfortable as security tried to get her off of him without exposing too much skin.
Malcolm threw a pillow at him, and Killian closed the door just in time. He sighed as he leaned against the wall. He hated being constantly watched, but Claude had a point—he was damn lucky to have Malcolm glued to him every second. He pushed away from the wall and opened the door again.
“Hey, Malcolm?”
“Yeah?” Malcolm said, looking up expectantly.
Killian swallowed, suddenly feeling unsure. “Thanks. For everything. I am lucky, even though I don’t always appreciate you.”
Malcolm’s eyes warmed, making Killian glad he’d put his feelings into words. Malcolm licked his lips and said, “You can show your appreciation later.”
Killian laughed and rolled his eyes, though he threw his lover another smile. “I open up, and all you can think of is getting me in bed.”
“That’s a given, no matter what.” He tapped his cell phone. “Hurry up and pee. I’m getting hungry, too, now you brought it up.”
Killian went back into the bathroom, still stressed but feeling far better. Once the tour was over and all of this had passed, they were flying to a tropical island and telling the world to fuck off for as long as possible.