A few minutes later, after I’ve come down from my orgasm, the world seems a little less surreal. Beautiful with the lake around us, but still less surreal. We’re not the only people in the world, but for a few moments, it sure felt like it.

“I’ll need to take care of some business. Will you be okay on your own?” Kellan says and disentangles himself from our embrace. I don’t look at him getting dressed while I squeeze into my own clothes.

“Sure,” I say, infusing as much casualness into my voice as I can muster. “When will you be back?”

“Probably after the weekend.”

My heart drops.

Today is Friday. He’ll return on Monday, and I’m leaving tomorrow. Our little fuck didn’t mean anything. He made that clear right from the beginning. What I didn’t expect was for him to want to leave so abruptly.

A little warning would have been nice.

“So… I won’t see you again, will I?” I ask breathlessly.

He says nothing, but he doesn’t have to.

What is there to say?

A wave of disappointment—fast and all-consuming—sweeps through me, and a strange pang of pain settles in my chest.

That’s it.

The end of my vacation.

The end of us.

We’re not going to spend the last night together. Nor the day after.

I’ll leave and I’ll go back to my boring, old life, and he’ll remain the mystery he is. We’ll both move on. I didn’t expect it to be over so soon, and yet it is.

“Feel free to stay as long as you want. When you’re ready to leave, just leave the keys under the flowerpot on the porch,” Kellan continues, oblivious to my thoughts. It seems so easy for him, as if he’s talking about a short trip, not the fact that he won’t ever see me again. “The mechanic finished all repairs on your car early this morning. You have new headlights, the engine’s running, and he’s even done a paint job. You’ll get back home safely.”

He’s paying me off.

I can’t believe it.

What he’s done is so much worse than throwing a pity check at me.

I swallow the lump in my throat.

“You didn’t have to,” I say, my voice strangely choked.

He shrugs. “I wanted to. It’s the least I can do after bumping your car.”

God.

That feels like an eternity ago.

“Mandy should be back tomorrow, right?” Kellan asks, breaking the awkward silence.

“Yeah. I’ll be busy packing up tonight.” I let out a forced laugh, the effort making my chest hurt. Everything makes me hurt. My entire body feels like a truck slammed into it. “She has so much stuff, and because her suitcase was too small, she crammed it all in mine.”

His hands trail around my waist, and there’s another short, awkward silence. “I enjoyed my time with you very much.”

His words sound so final, detached and resolute. He might as well have said, “I enjoyed fucking you,” and it would have made no difference.

“So did I,” I whisper and look up to meet his questioning gaze. I know I shouldn’t ask, and yet I have to know. “Will you visit me in New York?”

He regards me, hesitating. “I don’t think I’ll leave Montana for a while, but when I do, I’ll make sure you’re the first on my list.”

His list.

Yeah, the stupid list of women he’s fucked and wouldn’t mind a second helping of.

My eyes feel moist. I break off his embrace and avert my gaze so that he won’t see the turmoil that I’m sure is written across my face.

I’ve always hated saying goodbye. It feels too final, too heavy. But I knew this day would come after all. Kellan never made a secret out of it. I just didn’t expect it so soon. I just never expected that I’d enjoy my time with him so much.

Kellan’s lips brush my neck, and as he kisses me, he whispers against my skin, “I’ll see you soon.”

I want to believe him, but I can’t because I’m not stupid. All men say the same thing to make leaving easier. Maybe they believe it’ll soften the blow that it’s over.

Or maybe they’re just liars and would rather feed a woman’s hope than deal with the drama that often accompanies honesty.

Well, there won’t be any drama.

“Yeah.” My body goes rigid as I force a cold smile to my lips. “We’ll stay in touch.”

I close my eyes. He kisses my cheek before he turns and leaves. I don’t follow him back to the house. Instead, I lie down and close my eyes, barely able to hold back the tears I cannot allow myself to shed.

When I head back inside, the house is depressingly empty and quiet.

Kellan’s gone.

Gone from my life, with no intention of coming back.

Leaving behind memories that I know will hurt for a long time.

 

***

 

“Ava!”

Mandy’s screech reaches me through the fog inside my brain. I look up from washing the dishes and flinch at the pain shooting up my back. I’m so not used to working on the farm. My arms ache and my legs feel like they’re about to fall off.

Kellan left last night.

I was so immersed in my work and dark thoughts that I completely forgot the time.

“In here!” I yell.

The door bursts open and Mandy’s head pops in, a huge smile on her lips.

“Howdy!” Dressed in a blue shirt and brown cowboy boots, she looks like she’s just stepped out of a western movie. Her hair’s curled into waves, which can only mean one thing: she’s found a hair stylist and shops.

“What are you doing here?” I wipe my wet hands on a towel before Mandy engulfs me in a tight hug.

“That’s exactly the question I thought I’d hear.” Mandy laughs and lets go of me. “I can tell you guys had a great time and didn’t miss me one bit.”

“No, I’m just surprised. I didn’t expect you back so early. What happened?”

“Plans change,” she says and her cheeks flush.

There’s definitely reason to press her for details, but I don’t get a chance because her gaze falls on the dishes in the sink. “What are you doing?”

“House chores.”

“You hardly ever do chores.” She makes it sound like I’ve just committed a major crime. “You must really love the guy.”

I take a deep, shaky breath. “I don’t—”

“Hmm.” As though she doesn’t believe me, she cuts me off and waves her hand. “Come on, let’s get you dressed.”

I look down at myself. Last time I checked, I wasn’t naked. Maybe my brain switched off and I forgot to put on some pants?

“I mean something nice and sexy,” Mandy says, as though reading my thoughts. “And hurry up. We need to leave.”

“Why?” I eye her, amused. “What’s going on? Is someone chasing you?”

“No.” She rolls her eyes, grinning. “I have good news and good news. Which one do you want to hear first?”

I close my eyes and groan inwardly. “Please don’t tell me it’s about the concert.”

“It is.” Mandy lets out an excited squeal. “Mile High are performing tonight.” She jumps up and down like a child. “God. I’m so excited.”

“That part’s obvious. What’s the other good news?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” She pauses for effect. “Get this. We got first-class tickets. The best of the best view.”

“Swell.” I fight the urge to bail. “How do you know?”

“As soon as Josh drove me to Helena, I called the concert venue. Josh introduced me to someone who met someone who knows someone who’s friends with someone—”

“Get to the point,” I cut her off.

“And that someone knows where they’re staying.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.

I frown because I really can’t follow. “Who?”

“Mile High.”

Oh, God.

“Please don’t tell me you’re planning on stalking them,” I say. “For God’s sake, you’re a lawyer.”

“No,” she says in that defensive tone of hers that tells me she’s guilty as charged. “I’m talking about knocking on their door and asking for an autograph after the concert. What’s the harm?”

I stare at her. “What’s the harm? Mandy, you sound like a frigging groupie.”

She shrugs. “So what? They’re awesome. Getting their phone number is a major accomplishment, which I intend to fulfill.”

“Oh, God.” I shake my head. At least she’s not hell-bent on hooking up with them. But I might be wrong on that one.

“Apparently, they’ve been here all along.” She leans closer and lowers her voice conspiratorially. “They’re keeping a low profile, you know, small venue and all.”

“Ah.” Now that makes sense. At some point, even the greatest egomaniac will get sick and tired of having cameras shoved in their face and screaming groupies running down their hotel room door. And the band hasn’t met Mandy yet. She’s as obsessive as a fan can be. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the evening ended with a restraining order.

“I still have no idea why you want to see them,” I say with the enthusiasm of a grumpy turtle. “They’re not even singing live. Everyone knows that.”

“Because it’s my opportunity to get to meet them,” Mandy says. “Hello? Did you hear a word I said? Good tickets. Small venue. I know where they’re staying. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and you’re coming with me. I want to find out everything about them.”

I glare at her.

Apparently, everything about those guys is a huge secret, starting with their identities and the heavy eye makeup that makes them look like a badass copycat version of Green Day.

“But first, you really need to change.” Mandy takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, her annoyance with me obvious. “They’ll never invite us backstage if I’m being accompanied by—”

“The not-so-hot friend?” I raise my brows, amused.

“No. I’d never say that.” She looks appalled. “I was going to say ‘frumpy’.”

“Frumpy? As in dowdy, dull, homely?” I laugh out loud and almost choke on my laughter at the mortified expression on her face.

“I didn’t mean—”

Oh, I’m going to hold this one against her for the rest of her life. She’s always excelled at putting her foot in her mouth. “I know. Just stop.”

“Are you going to make an effort?” She squeezes my hand imploringly. “Please. Just once in your life show a little bit of enthusiasm for Mile High, even if it’s fake. Please.”

“Gee, I didn’t realize this means so much to you.” I heave an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do.”

“And you’ll pretend you’re a fan?”

”Now you’re pushing it.”

“Thanks.” She ignores my annoyed look as she heads for the door, then stops as soon as she’s reached it. “By the way, where’s our hot host?”

“Who?”

“Um. The guy you fucked all week.”

How does she even know that?

“If you’re talking about Kellan, he left,” I remark dryly. “He said something about business.”

“Oh.” She purses her lips and eyes me for a moment. “You’ll have to tell me everything…after the gig, of course.”

“Of course,” I mumble.