“Are you okay?” Mandy asks for the umpteenth time, her concern growing with each second that passes. When I nod, she whispers, “You didn’t know, did you?”
I shake my head and follow Josh to his truck.
I don’t want to make a big fuss out of the fact that Kellan’s a rock star but—
Holy shit!
He’s a rock star.
I still can’t believe it.
That’s why he was so secretive. He probably thought I might sell his story to the tabloids.
What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I show enthusiasm for the fact that the cowboy I met is a famous rock star?
Josh says something about an after party, when all I want is to lock myself inside my bedroom and Google the life out of Mile High.
There must have been some indication, some clue, and I was too blind to catch it. But I know better than to believe that. I just wasn’t interested. I might never be.
I blame my parents and their crazy obsession with the orchestra. They’ve ruined music for me, and now I just can’t be like any normal woman and squeal and wear fan T-shirts.
“Please take me home,” I say, my voice shaky.
“I’ve been instructed not to do that,” Josh replies.
I don’t need to ask who ordered that. “I’m not feeling very well.”
Mandy shoots me a concerned look.
“In spite of what he’s doing, he’s a good guy, Ava,” Josh says.
“I never doubted that,” I lie.
“He likes you. That’s why he went through all the trouble to arrange you winning the tickets.”
My head snaps to him. “What?”
“Sorry. What was I thinking?” He slaps his forehead. “I should never have mentioned it. Let’s forget what I just said.“ His mouth clamps shut. In the rearview mirror, I see his expression darkening, like he’s already said too much.
“It’s okay. You can tell me,” I say, my voice faint.
He takes a sharp breath. “Look, I don’t know what’s happening between you two, but I can tell you he’s never been like this. He’s never done this for any woman. I think you need to talk. Just listen to him, and then make up your mind. Please.”
“Listen to what?” I stare at Josh’s back, waiting for him to elaborate. He just shrugs and keeps quiet.
Mandy’s eyes are big and mirror my countless questions. But even she remains silent as Josh stops the truck. He gets out of the car, and she turns to me, whispering, “Look, I had no idea.”
I glare at her. “How could you not know? You’ve been a fan for ages.”
‘Probably the biggest of them,’ I want to add, but don’t.
“They never take off the masks.”
“What about in interviews?” I ask incredulously.
“They wear heavy makeup,” Mandy says. “Besides, I don’t follow their every move. I’m not obsessed with them.”
“Still.” I shake my head. “You should have recognized the voice.” I’m so mad at Mandy. It’s all her fault that we landed at Kellan’s door.
Josh opens the door for us, waiting for me to get out. I glance out of the window and realize we’re at the same bar we visited more than a week ago, surrounded by hundreds of girls and women, all waiting to get in.
My heart lurches.
Huge, angry bouncers are guarding the door.
“Are you coming?” Mandy asks.
I shake my head again. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“He’s inside, waiting for you,” Josh says. When I make no move to exit, he leans against the car, his dark expression betraying his determination. “Look, I promised him to bring you here. Can you just do me a favor and see him?”
I let out a sigh, then get out of the car. “Fine, but you owe me.”
Just like before, Josh mentioning his name grants us instant entry. The bar is full with what I assume are mostly locals. I spy Kellan sitting with three other guys at a table near the back, his face turned to overlook the entrance. The mask and makeup are gone. The man I see is both familiar and a stranger to me.
My heart does a summersault. I realize it’s been doing that ever since I met him.
But that can’t be. Summersaults remind me of stories of people falling in love and happy endings. Before he left, I knew I was about to fall for him. Surely, it hasn’t happened already.
My legs are frozen to the spot as I realize I loved my ex, and it hurt like hell when he cheated on me. But it was different.
Summersaults are new to me. I never had them before Kellan.
I can’t be in love with him.
Right?
I turn on my heels, ready to bolt out the door, when Josh steps behind me, blocking my way.
“They’re over there,” he says. His hand goes around my upper arm to guide me, but I know he just wants to make sure I’m not trying to get away.
Which is the plan.
I wish I could run away from the man I thought was only a nightclub owner. And then only a cowboy.
I have all of three seconds before Kellan’s sweeping gaze meets mine, and he stands a moment before we reach him.
“You came.” He sounds surprised. I look into his impossibly green eyes. He leans into me, and his lips brush my cheek. He smells faintly of aftershave and warmth. A stunning smile tugs at his lips, but there’s a strange glint in his eyes. As though he’s nervous. As though he cares what I might think about him now that I know who he is.
I want to lean into him and tell him that I wish he weren’t who he is because it matters to me.
I also want to tell him that I had no choice but to come here, whether I wanted to see him or not. It was either this or jump out of a moving car while praying I wouldn’t break a few bones in the process.
I want to ask him the one question that’s been pestering me. Why didn’t you tell me?
But my mouth remains shut, all those unspoken words trapped inside my chest.
“You want anything to drink?” Kellan pulls up a chair and points at the countless bottles on the table.
I shake my head in response.
While I’m all for a little liquid courage in situations like these, I need to keep my head clear.
He sighs and sits down, his leg brushing mine. “These are my band mates, Casper, Derrick, and Rock. Guys, this is Ava.”
I nod at the three pairs of eyes staring at me. They look like nice guys, maybe a bit worse for wear, but I guess that’s what the rock star lifestyle does to you.
“Ava, huh?” Rock says. I can almost see the wheels of his mind working. His blue eyes seem slightly glossed over; his movements are a little bit slow. “That Ava?”
And then it dawns on me.
He’s high on something.
Of course he is.
Most musicians are. My parents thought I’d follow in their footsteps and always warned me of the dangers of getting involved with someone in the music industry.
“Kellan made us play this gig just for you,” Derrick says. “I hope you know how to thank him tonight.”
His band mates begin to guffaw.
I peer at Kellan, who’s watching me intently, analyzing my every move.
“The women just soak it up, huh?” Derrick says to Rock. “Remember that chick, Kellan’s last girl? She kept stalking him.”
The words sting. They only confirm that I was just another conquest in a long list of them. That I was only a good fuck.
Isn’t that what he called me?
“I’m sorry. I should go.” I get up and turn, dashing past tables, through the door, heedless of the people rushing to get out of my way, until I’m outside.