Lila Kate
ELI’S HAND HELD mine as I studied the private mausoleum that was for all Slacker Demon members and their family. My grandmother was the first to be buried in it. Kiro had bought it because he said he didn’t want to be buried in the ground and he didn’t want his Emily in there either. So he’d decided that the best way to rest in eternal peace was a mausoleum with those he loved most.
“I’ve never seen anyone laid to rest in one of these. Just been to burials,” Eli said softly beside me.
“Me neither. It seems easier than watching them sink into the ground doesn’t it?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I guess it does.”
I focused on my grandfather as his bloodshot eyes stared straight ahead at the marking where Emily had been slid in. He was drinking from another bottle of whiskey. I was concerned he was going to get alcohol poisoning, but my mom said he’d built years of tolerance to the stuff. He’d be fine. His suit covered his tattoos but he still looked like a rocker. It was in his stance, face, the way his hair was still too long for an older man. He would always be Kiro Manning. Even at seventy years old.
“Thanks for staying with me today,” I told Eli. I had needed someone. Support. Everyone had been here. They all knew I’d been on Cruz Kerrington’s bike and they all saw him completely ignore me. But my grandfather’s grief had been more important than my obvious snub from Cruz. I’d gotten what I asked for playing with fire.
“I’m glad I came. Almost didn’t. Nate thought I should. I’ll have to thank him for that.”
Nate had expected this. He knew Cruz as well as I did. We had been a pack once. I needed to thank Nate for bringing Eli. Not that I was going to use Eli as a rebound. But he’d become a good friend. After today, I hoped we would stay in touch. I enjoyed his company. He was strong. Dependable. Kind. The type of man I knew my parents hoped I would find one day.
When my heart finally healed and I moved on, I hoped I would find a fairytale with a guy like Eli. I knew it wouldn’t be Eli because his heart was already unavailable. I sympathized with him. Loving someone you will never have is painful.
At least he hadn’t suffered humiliation because of it. He’d kept his feelings a secret. Never made the mistake of throwing caution to the wind and hoping it worked.
“Let’s go,” I said as others began to leave. I knew my grandfather would be here for a while and I wanted him to have his alone time with her.
Eli continued to hold my hand as we walked away. I knew the Kerrington’s were to my left. I could see Woods and Della from the corner of my eye. But I didn’t turn to them. I just couldn’t bring myself to. I walked on with my head down. Eli led me to the limo that was waiting for the family.
“Where are you going?” I asked him.
He nodded toward the limo behind this one. “To Dean’s with Nate and Bliss.”
Being with Nate and Bliss wasn’t easy on him. I knew that without asking. “Come with me,” I said.
He smiled like he understood why and could read my thoughts. “Thanks.”
I moved all the way down to the last seat. “You saved me today. I should be thanking you.”
He moved in behind me and sat with his thigh pressing mine. The warmth from his body, the smell of his cologne all made me feel soothed. Like I wasn’t alone. I remembered this from our one night together. I knew the difference now, between good drunk sex with no strings and sex with a man your heart wants. It’s on two different playing fields.
“You were beautiful today. He’s an idiot, and from the way he watched your every move he knows it.”
I jerked my head around and looked up at Eli. “What?”
He gave me a half smile. “Cruz Kerrington. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you. I never met him nor was I introduced, but I know guys like him. I can spot them. He was also completely obvious. No one else there glared at me like they’d enjoy ripping my limbs off my body.”
That didn’t make sense. I shook my head. “You misunderstood. He was forced to come here. I know his parents. He was glaring because he was angry this took away from his play time.” The disgust was obvious in my voice. So was the hurt.
“I may not be an asshole. But I am a man. I know what they’re thinking. I can read one. And that guy was not happy about you being with me. He also wanted to get you alone and get his hands on you. Honestly, Lila, you are beautiful. Today you were stunning. I had a hard time keeping my eyes off you.”
It felt nice. No, it felt more than nice to hear a good-looking man say that to me. I didn’t feel beautiful or stunning. “Thank you,” I said unsure of how else to respond. Then I said what I was thinking. “I wish . . . I wish I’d met you at another time. A time when our hearts weren’t so confused. Maybe we would have had a chance.”
His hand slipped over mine, and he kept it there. “When you left I realized something. My heart isn’t where I thought it was. Bliss had become a habit. All I knew. No one had made enough of an impact on me to move her from my heart. But you . . . you made me forget. Showed me that there was more. That I could feel something for someone else,” he paused then his fingers slid around mine. “My heart’s ready, Lila. I’ll just be patient until yours is.”
Wow . . . that was not something I’d expected to hear. “Our last night together you were upset over being the best man,” I reminded him.
He shrugged. “A habit. A habit that shook me up and showed me how my heart had changed. I realized I’d moved on when I found out you were gone. That . . . that shook me more than the damn wedding shit. I was over it and completely focused on you. I don’t even get a twinge when I see them kiss now. You got me over it. I wish I could do the same for you.”
Here was this wonderful man telling me he wanted more. He was ready to move on with me. He wanted to be with me. He made himself available. And as beautiful as it all sounded, my heart was still aching over Cruz. I was either the stupidest female on planet Earth or the unluckiest. Possibly both.
“I need time,” I said to him because I wanted a fairy tale. I believed that Eli was that kind of guy. He was secure, solid, beautiful. All the things my father was, Rush Finlay was, my Uncle Mase and Uncle Cope were. I wanted a man like them.
“I’m really patient,” he replied.
Even the tone of his voice was soothing. It didn’t make my heart flip or butterflies take flight in my stomach, but it made me feel safe. I rested my head on his shoulder. His arm went around me and we sat there like that in silence while we waited on the rest of the family.