Chapter 35
Sam sat staring at the wall, her feet dangling off the med bed with the blanket Bellis had given her covering her lap and legs. Her head was pounding, her arms chilled, and her throat parched with a need for water, but she couldn’t pay attention to any of it. No, something else occupied her mind, and had since Bellis left to speak to Monroe.
“We’re not finished, Samantha. You and I are far from over.” His words kept playing on a reel in her head and the only thing she could figure was that he was talking about his halo. Lifting a hand, she ghosted her fingers over the smooth band. The memory of them fucking came flooding back and she tilted her head back, biting back a groan. He’d been so damn good, best sex she’d ever had, and ever since he’d collared her, her hand had found its way to the halo several times as she found herself wondering what it’d be like to truly be his. It’d never happen. His actions spoke volumes. She was a fucking Skin Walker pawn, nothing more.
When she’d woken alone earlier, the fact that she’d been caged even though she’d been injured and wasn’t yet one hundred percent stung, but nearly as much as the fact that Bellis had abandoned her again. But he hadn’t. He’d been there, she just hadn’t immediately recognized him. Looking down at her arm, she marveled again at her coloring. For some reason, it made her feel closer to Bellis, and it irked her that the fact soothed something in her. She’d gotten too close to the Walker. Stupid! She shook her head, wondering when she’d ever learn.
She tried to ignore her own foolishness, but couldn’t, because it was coupled with some other emotion that kept rolling over and over her, crushing her like a giant relentless wave that was trying to pound some message into her. She was fighting to pinpoint what exactly it was she felt. Never one to ignore any emotion, or feeling, Sam prided herself on her ability to meet every single sensation and sentiment head on and break it down, dissecting it until she understood it fully. She had no choice. Odium would tolerate no weakness, so she couldn’t carry any, which meant every single thing she felt had to be recognized, understood, and guarded or transformed into bits and pieces that were acceptable to her brother.
Today though, she was having difficulty understanding the hollowness in her chest that was making it hard to breathe. It wasn’t from her injuries, because the longer she lay on the med bed, the stronger she felt physically. What was swamping her was emotional. She felt almost panicky, yet sad, and it was all tied to Bellis somehow.
Bellis. She winced. Even the mere thought of his name made her heart constrict painfully. Narrowing her eyes on the wall, she focused. What was it? Sadness, regret, heartache? Holy hell! It suddenly hit her. Lonely! She tumbled that one word over and over in her head, and then it clicked. It clicked so shockingly hard that her scowl vanished and she jerked back, clutching a hand over her chest. Holy fucking hell! Homesick. She was homesick for Bellis St-Fucking-Croy!
The realization brought tears to her eyes. She’d never been homesick for any place or any one in so long, and yet here she was aching to the core of her soul for something she couldn’t have, someone she shouldn’t be feeling this strongly disconnected from, or connected to. But there it was, centered in her chest like a gaping fucking hole that she couldn’t fill no matter what she tried to shove in it. She was heartsick and lonesome as hell for Bellis, that demon-looking fucking Walker!
She chuffed a humorless laugh as a tear fell and her eyes dipped to her arm. She was the demon now though, and she couldn’t even muster any anger over it. She’d always found Bellis’ skin appealing, and on her it just felt…right.
Quickly, she swiped at her tear. Megalya didn’t cry. She knew Bellis would tell her that she wasn’t Megalya, but what did he know? He knew nothing. He certainly didn’t know that at one time she’d had a vulnerable heart, and thought she could keep herself from becoming like Odium, but now that her brother was gone she didn’t feel any different. She’d always thought that once the Megalya monsters were destroyed she’d feel some rightness, some bone-deep sense of being free. She didn’t. She felt hollow and alone, so what did she do now? Where did she go now? Even if Monroe offered her a place with his Walkers at StoneCrow, she doubted she’d take it. Her treatment had been lacking, to say the least, regardless of the fact they thought her an enemy. Monroe knew the truth, he’d always known, and he was either not powerful enough to protect her, as he’d claimed, or he simply didn’t care to. Either way, she was out. Once they let her out of this cage…if they let her out of this cage, she was going to disappear and they’d never see her again.
The plan ripped her up though, because she agreed with Bellis. She didn’t feel like they were finished with each other, and it wasn’t simply because she needed to return his halo.
Bellis. She knew better than to fall for anyone. and yet here she was hurting and wanting like a fucking idiot.
***
Standing in Fatal’s “nest” which was a completely empty cavern beneath North Fortress, the ruling Keeper paced and snarled, upset at Monroe’s revelation. Behind him, Keo watched his ruler intently.
Fatal was pissed that he’d been kept in the dark about Sam’s role, and from the scent of the uncertainty wafting from him, Bellis knew that Fatal wasn’t taking Monroe’s admission at face value.
“It’s the truth,” Bellis bit out, uncrossing his arms to glare at the Ruling Keeper. “Accept it or not, but Sam is leaving here with me!”
Standing between King and RedKnife, Monroe angled his head as he studied Bellis with a cocky grin. “She’s my operative, Assassin. She’ll be leaving with me.”
Bellis dark gaze shot to Monroe. “The fuck she will. You’ve done enough!”
“I don’t know what it is you think you know…”
Monroe didn’t get to finish his sentence, because Bellis’ roar of rage filled the room before he lowered his head and snarled at the Dominant. “Don’t you fucking dare downplay what she’s sacrificed for you!”
“I think your halo on Ms. Michaels is affecting your judgment.” Monroe’s lips curled in a cocky grin, “Maybe it’s time it came off.”
Without hesitation, Bellis lunged for Monroe, only to have King’s hand slam into his chest as RedKnife lunged forward to help hold him back.
“It’s not fucking coming off!” he snarled, knowing the Dominant was trying to goad him. Good, he was up for the sport. He’d have enough.
Monroe grinned. “Does Ms. Michaels know that?”
“Games, games, and more games,” Bellis snarled. “Is that all you fucking know?”
Unashamedly, Monroe shrugged. “Gets me what I need.”
Bellis jammed a finger at Monroe. “I don’t care what you do, or how you do it, but you will stay the fuck away from Sam, or I promise, I will end you.”
That got the Dominant’s full attention, and his confident grin vanished. “You’d better find out if she even wants to be claimed before you go binding yourself to her! She’s not just any woman, and you having a sudden crush could get you crushed.”
Bellis tried to go after Monroe again, but King and RedKnife shoved him back.
“If she’s viable and unclaimed,” Keo stepped forward, and Bellis’ head whipped around. “I’ll take her.”
All eyes landed on the Keeper, and from the shocked look on Fatal’s face, he hadn’t expected the move.
“Well, well, well,” Monroe began, but Bellis jabbed a finger in Keo’s direction.
“She’s mine, motherfucker. She wears my halo, and in case those two holes in the sides of your head aren’t working, let me say it again. My halo isn’t coming off! Stay the fuck away from her!” His heated gaze slid back to Monroe. “And don’t you fucking worry about Sam. She and I are no longer your concern.”
RedKnife’s words of wisdom broke the tension that crackled in the air as Bellis and Monroe glared at each other. “I vote we go release the traitor and see what it is she wants.”
Bellis’ hard gaze slid to RedKnife and he challenged, “Call her that one more time…”
RedKnife lifted his hands in a show of surrender and gave a slight bow of his head before correcting, “Sam. Let’s go free Sam and see what it is she wants.”
Without hesitation, Bellis exited the room, not caring if the Keepers or his fellow Walkers followed for not.