I can’t sleep. I keep thrashing around in bed, my body aching for one thing, but my mind way too fucked up to ask for it.
Today was hell. While I played what sports guys are saying was one of the best games of my career, I’m not riding the high that playing that well usually brings.
While I had myself prepared for it, I have to be honest. There is nothing that can ever prepare me for showing up in my hometown, to the stadium where I spent damn near every Saturday as a kid, to a crowd that would love nothing more than to see me hanging from the nearest lamp post.
While this isn’t the first game I’ve played here, nor the first game where I’ve been attacked like this, still.
It doesn’t get any damn easier.
Knowing that Laci was there, with a front row seat to the amount of shit that just went down today, sliced my heart wide open.
I hated the feeling, hated seeing how wide her eyes were as we walked from the bus to the stadium. Hated the way that my heart felt like it was in a vice at the thought of anyone realizing that she was my girl and trying to hurt her.
Fuck.
When I left Georgia to take the spot on the Rays, it wasn’t like I was telling Georgia that I was too good to play for them.
My mind had been so fucked up at the time, and the only though fueling my mind was to get as far away from home as I possibly could, and from the woman who had shattered my heart.
I was hell bent at the time to prove to Alexa that she had screwed up by doing me so wrong, and I wanted nothing more than to make her regret having cheated on me, with none other than my so called best friend.
But running away didn’t exactly ease the pain, not in the long run anyway, and it brought a whole new level of drama to my life.
Which, if I’m being honest, has almost been long forgotten since the moment that I laid eyes on Laci. Until we showed up to that stadium today, that is.
My mind is all over the place, spinning in circles over the events of the day, and I have to be honest. I totally don’t want to show my face again there tomorrow.
All I want right now is Laci, but with the way I’m feeling, I don’t want to pull her into the darkness that I am currently in.
It’s not fair to her.
But then, I hear it.
The faint click of the lock, followed by the door opening and then shutting quietly. The slight tiptoe of feet across the carpet, and then, the covers are pushed back and the bed dips.
I feel her, sense her presence, and then, she is right next to me, curling her naked body around me.
“Laci.” I murmur into the dark room, before rolling over so that I am facing her. “Baby, what are you doing here?”
Her lips press to mine before she answers, her soft skin wrapping around mine. In that instant, all the thoughts leave my mind, all the darkness turning to light, as I lose myself into her kiss.
She grips me tightly, making me groan, as I feel her firm breasts pushing into my chest.
“One more time, Jake.” She murmurs into my mouth, before her words hit me like a bucket of cold water, causing me to stop everything and pull back.
“What?”
What in the actual fuck? One more time?
She must be out of her mind. One more time could never be enough with her. Hell, I don’t know if a million times could ever be enough.
I want way fucking more than that with her.
I reach over, flicking the lamp on, causing her to blink rapidly.
“What did you just say to me?” Her eyes widen and she pulls the blanket high over herself, before sitting up and staring at me.
“I mean, I said…”
“I heard what you said. Why did you say that? What do you mean by it?”
She’s quiet as her eyes land on mine, before she simply shrugs. “I just wanted one more night with you.”
“One more night.” I repeat, my eyes locking on hers. “What if I want more than that?”
She closes her eyes, before easing herself back down into the bed. “I don’t want to get hurt.”
Her words slice me, causing my heart to overflow with emotions, all wrapped around her.
“I would never hurt you.” I cup her face, before forcing her eyes to meet mine. “I care about you, baby. Don’t you realize that?”
When she doesn’t answer, I just shake my head, before brushing my lips across hers.
“You don’t. But that’s ok. I’ll show you.”
I slow all my movements, before wrapping her up into my arms, and kissing her softly. She needs me to show her?
Easy. I can slow this way down, and worship her body the way that only a man in love can do.
And so, I do exactly that, slowly and gently caressing her, and whispering my praise to her, gently kissing her skin, before sliding home, inside of her body, making love to her the way that she deserves.
“Favorite movie of all time.”
We’re still naked in bed, after just having made love for the second time tonight. I have her body turned towards me, as my fingers trail circles along her skin.
She giggles, before fluttering those beautiful eyes up at me.
“Hope Floats.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it. Tell me about it.”
She snuggles in closer to me, before resting her head in between my neck and my shoulder, the spot on my body that has now become her place.
“It’s about a woman who finds out that her husband was cheating on her with her best friend.” My heart pounds, as she finishes. “She moves on, and then of course, falls in love.”
“Sounds like a chick flick.”
Actually, it sounds like the story of my life, but of course, I leave this out.
“It is.” She sighs, her breath causing goosebumps to form along my skin.
“What’s yours?”
“The Sandlot.”
She bursts out laughing, and shakes her head. “Pretty sure that’s a children’s movie.”
“Pretty sure I’m ok with that.”
I pull her closely, before sighing happily.
All the negativity from today has been long since pushed from my mind. Having Laci here, wrapped up in my arms, is the cure to it all, apparently.
We’ve made sweet love twice, as I’ve stared into her eyes, the words that circle inside of me so ready to slip from my mouth.
Of course, they can’t, not until everything is out on the table. And I have no idea how to let her know the truth without breaking her heart and having her hate me.
So, as always, I’ve pushed those thoughts aside, and focused on learning everything that I can about the woman who seems to totally consume me.
So far, I’ve learned her favorite food, biggest fear, favorite color, favorite restaurant, so on and so forth. All kinds of details that I should already know, considering how damn fast I fell for her.
“Tell me about your childhood.”
She freezes in my arms, causing me to pull back slightly.
“Baby? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She rushes, before shaking her head. “It’s just not something that I like to talk about.”
“No?” anger courses through me, at the thought that at any stage of her life Laci might have been harmed.
“Why is that? Did somebody hurt you?” Because if the answer is yes, I’m going to end up in prison for murdering the sick son of a bitch.
I level my eyes with hers, causing her to blink.
“No.” She reaches out her hand, gently touching my chest. “Nothing like that.”
“Well then? What is it?”
She’s quiet for a moment, before shrugging.
“My childhood was fine. Happier than most, probably. My parents had an unhealthy relationship though. My dad was…” her eyes flick up to mine, and she pauses, before shaking her head again. “He traveled a lot for his job, and apparently cheated on my mom often. They would fight over it, and she would cry and beg him not to do it again. But he always did.”
My stomach sinks, as I reach up, tenderly pushing a lock of hair out of her face.
“When I was sixteen some kids showed up at our doorstep. Long story short, they were my dad’s. One was a year older than me, the other two years younger.”
My blood turns to ice in my veins as a faraway look overtakes her, but she continues. “Needless to say, a huge fight followed. At one point, I had taken my dad’s side, and my mom was furious. She told me to stop covering for him, because.” She swallows hard before pulling her eyes away from mine. “Because he wasn’t even my father.”
All the air leaves my lungs as though I’ve been punched. My grip on her tightens, and she continues her story, wrenching my heart with each word.
“They divorced, I was sent off to an all-girls boarding school, I was given a DNA test which proved what my mom had carelessly said. And that was it.”
“Oh my god.” I pull her as close to me as I can get her, without being inside of her again. “Baby. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She rushes on, burying her face back into my neck. “It was a long time ago.”
“It’s horrible.” I hold her close, stroking her back. “I can’t even imagine.”
Silence falls over us, as I try to absorb everything that she just told me. But it’s so awful, and so hard to imagine, that I just can’t.
I instantly curse myself for all the times that I moaned and groaned about how loving my parents were towards each other. All the times that my sisters and I would be so incredibly grossed out over them kissing, or holding hands.
Because now I realize how far worse it could have been.
“Do you ever see your dad now?” I finally ask, before pressing my lips to her head.
“Occasionally, but not very often. Our relationship was pretty much over once he got those results.”
“Did you ever find out…”
“No.” she interrupts, not letting me finish. “My real dad was just some guy in a bar, my mom didn’t even know his last name. She hooked up with him one night when she was feeling particularly low. I couldn’t find him if I tried.”
“Fuck.”
She’s silent for a long time, before she begins to pull back. “I should probably get going.”
I grip her tighter, not letting go. “The hell you should. I want you to stay all night.”
“Jake…”
“Laci. No. I want to hold you all night. You’re staying here.”
Our eyes lock, before she finally smiles softly. “Ok.”
“Matter of fact, I want you in my bed every night. So, plan on not getting rid of me anytime soon.”
Her eyes soften as they hold my gaze, and I reach in, brushing my lips across hers.
“When everyone else leaves on Sunday, I want you to come with me.”
“Come with you where?”
I wink at her, resting my chin on the top of her head. “Home.”
Her smile widens, before she relaxes into me. I hold her close, until I feel her soft breath against my skin start to slow. One glance down at her, and I know that she has fallen asleep.
Except sleep doesn’t come for me. Not by a long shot.
It has nothing to do with the things that were on my mind earlier tonight. Not at all. It has everything to do with the fact that Laci has been hurt in the past, and badly. And when she learns the truth about me, she is going to be hurt even more, regardless of how much I’m in love with her.
And that knowledge slices me to my core.
“Oh my god.” She grips my arms as her head falls back onto the pillow, and my name rolls off her sweet lips.
“Yes. Now.” I command her, as she clenches around me, drenching my dick. I grip the sheets between my hands hard, grasping to hold onto something, but it’s no use.
The very second that I get inside Laci’s body, I turn into a fifteen-year-old boy who has seen a pussy for the very first time.
“Fuck.” I grit my teeth, before that familiar feeling climbs up my back, as my balls tighten, and then.
Boom.
I fall onto the bed, rolling to the side, still panting to catch my breath but desperate not to lose the contact of being inside of her.
“You’re going to be the death of me.” I groan, pulling her towards me.
“Me?” Her eyes widen as she smacks my chest. “I woke up to your mouth on me. How is this my fault?” She giggles, before pressing her lips to my chest. “Now I have to figure out how to slip out of your room and 9am without getting caught.”
“Don’t.” I whisper, smacking another kiss to her lips. “Let me run you a warm bath here. I’ll shower and head downstairs, and then warn you when the coast is clear.
“But we have to leave by 11. That doesn’t give me a lot of time.”
“What do you need to do besides shower? You’re beautiful enough, baby. No need to get all done up. It just drives me crazy and makes woman green with envy.”
“Makes you crazy? I kind of like that thought.”
“Crazy with jealousy, knowing that every fucking other guy on the face of this planet is checking you out.”
“Oh, please.” She mutters, as I pull back, breaking the contact, and her eyes widen.
“Dammit! Jake!” She flies off the bed, before standing there, looking utterly sexy as hell and pointing her finger at my dick.
“You forgot a condom! Again!”
I glance down sheepishly. “Ah, yeah. I ran out.”
“You ran out? Why didn’t you say something?”
“Listen, Laci. I had my doctor email me my latest results. I’m totally clean, baby, I promise you that. And well, since you were a virgin until me and you’re on birth control…”
My voice trails off and I shrug. Her eyes widen even larger at my words, and she just shakes her head.
“Still. Jake, no. Just…No.”
I have no excuse for not wearing a rubber. Hell, in my entire lifetime, I have never not worn one. That was the one thing that was constantly drilled into my head from the get go, the very minute that I stepped foot out onto that farm team field. Hell, even in college it was talked about.
“The best piece of advice that I hope all of you fuckers listen to,” Coach would always start, “Is to wrap up your damn dicks. Because once you start making the big bucks, and you have honeys trying to climb all over you? Trust me, they are all gonna want that 9-month ride to a golden paycheck. And don’t you ever forget that. They might tell you that they’re on birth control, or hell.” He had muttered, shaking his head, “Even tell you that they can’t have kids. But trust me fellas, trust me. They’re all just trying to make you slip.”
I always have kept that advice in the back of my head. I’ve even walked away from women who have been naked, hot and ready, all because I didn’t have any condoms. But with Laci?
It’s different. I lose my head the second I feel her skin on mine. And I’m not even worried about any of that with her, because I know that isn’t what she’s after.
And, on the flip side that if it did happen?
I wouldn’t be the least bit sad.
“Listen, I’m sorry baby, ok? I promise I’ll wear one from here on out, if that’s what you want.”
“Yes, that’s what I want!” she glares at me, as I rise out of the bed and start moving towards her. She takes a step back, hitting the wall before waving her finger at me.
“Oh no you don’t, Jake Matthews. You will not make me lose focus of being mad at you by coming at me with that sexy body of yours.”
I grin slyly at her, before caging her in against the wall.
“You think I’m sexy?” I wink at her, and she rolls her eyes.
“Really? Do you really need me to repeat it? Isn’t your head already big enough?”
My dick twitches, before, like always, turning firm from being so close to her.
“My head is actually getting pretty big right now.”
I reach down, grabbing my shaft once and stroking upwards, as her eyes follow and she licks her lips.
“Dammit, hot shot.” She blows out her breath, as her lust filled eyes land back on mine.
“One more time.” I smirk at her, and she cuts her eyes at me.
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“One more time bare inside of you, baby. Please. You know you want it.”
“I do.” She whimpers, as her breathing becomes ragged. “You know that I do, that’s why you’re so dangerous for me.”
I reach under her and lift her up, bracing her against me.
“Tell me yes, then.”
I pause at her entrance, running the head of my dick through her slick folds, as she shivers against me.
“Jake.”
“Say yes.” I growl, as her head falls back and she moans yes long and loud, as I slide inside of her, right where I belong.
“Damn, Matthews.” Brock high fives me as I trot across home plate, after my second home run of the night. “I’m almost ready to forgive you for the ten-grand that I just had to shell out.”
He slaps me on my back, as I jog to the dugout, after waving up to the stands towards my parents, and winking at Laci who is on her feet cheering loudly.
The entire crowd boo’s me, but whatever. Fuck them. It only fuels me to play better.
And, well, let’s be honest. The amount of orgasms that I had last night aren’t hurting things either.
I should be exhausted, since we barely got any sleep, but instead? I feel like a new man.
“It’s not his fault we had to shell out ten-grand.” Eric grumbles, glaring at Brock. “It’s your fault. You’re the fucking idiot who posted all of that shit to Snapchat!”
“I love Snapchat.” Brock counters, before placing his hand over his heart. “Like, really love it.”
“Yeah? Well then you can pay me back ten-grand then, fuck face.” He rolls his eyes before flashing them to me. “Seriously. He put a video of us and those two chicks on his snapchat story. The same snapchat story that someone is hired to manage.”
I step past them, as they continue to argue, before finding a seat on the bench and taking a drink out of the water handed to me.
“Nice job son.” Coach pats my shoulder, before glancing back onto the field. “Way to show these fuckers that they don’t faze you.”
It’s our last game in the series. We wrapped up yesterdays with another big win, and I wrapped up my evening burying myself inside of Laci.
All in all, it’s turned out to be a damn good weekend, despite all the booing. And as long as we continue to hold the Devils, we will be walking away sweeping this entire series.
“Sounds like you’re the only one staying behind.” Eddie tells me, as he plops a squat next to me.
“Yeah. Me and Laci.” It’s out before I can even stop it, and his head snaps in my direction, as his eyebrows raise.
“Oh yeah? Is that so?” His head tilts towards me and he shakes his head. “Man…”
“She has to stay.” I rush on. “Coach said so.”
“Ah.” He nods again before glancing around, and then bringing his head right up next to my ear. “Did coach also say that she had to sleep in your room the last two nights?”
“What?” he has my full attention. He rolls his eyes before standing up. “Don’t play stupid, Matthews. I saw her leave yesterday and today. Anything you wanna tell me?”
“Yeah. Mind your own fucking business.”
He grins wide, flashing me his teeth. “You got it man. You already know that I can keep a secret. You aren’t gonna tell the other guys?”
I don’t answer. I just glare at him.
“Richards struck out boys. Time to take the field.” Coach whips his head around
“That’s what I thought.” His smirk fills up his whole damn face as he reaches down a hand to me and pulls me to stand.
“Does she know?”
“Know what?”
“Dude.” He tosses me my glove as we start onto the field. “She mean something to you?”
When I don’t respond, he answers for me. “So, that’s a yes. You gotta tell her about the bet. If she finds out another way…”
He doesn’t need to finish. I already know.
If she finds out another way, she will never want anything to do with me again.